Path of the Vampire forum

Timing is everything, right? Ironic that the very thing I’ve been dealing with lately is the thing that I came across at Guidance area today… Heightened Emotions. This isn’t like me, not at all. I’ve always been one of those independent, no nonsense women and didn’t let myself get emotionally attached. I’ve always survived that way so why did things change? I’ve been trying to figure that out, in the moments between the madness that’s trying to take over.

Everything was fine in my life. I had a great job, was married to my work, I was respected and people clamored to get the services that I provided. I was a Casino Host in Vegas. Well, that’s not completely accurate. I was the TOP Casino Host in all of Las Vegas and nobody could come close to competing. Then my Mom got sick. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about her, but we hadn’t been close and I was married to my work. I couldn’t make money if I wasn’t working and money kept me comfortable and happy. I worked so much that I didn’t have a chance to look at things to see if it was a true happiness or just a façade, but I digress.

My boss forced me to come home to Harper’s Rock to take care of things. I got the arrangements made for Mom, so that when she passed on she’d have a burial plot, a casket, a wonderful ceremony, the works. Then came the problem with the house. Mom had turned into a hoarder so the place was packed, floor to ceiling in some places, with all sorts of stuff.

Now, back in Vegas I had this really good client, or whale, as we call them in the industry. Whales are the high rollers. They’re the ones that you take care of the best to be sure they come back to gamble. If a whale says they’re coming you book their favorite room for them, if they prefer a candy or another, you have that on hand, if they want a specific table, you do that too. If they’re bringing their family you get to know their family and what they like so that you can set them up with their favorite shows or tours. The whales are the ones that come to the casino to gamble millions and I made a commission based on how much they spent. Most of the whales ran together, but my mind is sharp and I keep up with every single one of them. Actually I have dossiers on all of them, so that I’m prepared when they call. All I have to do is pull up their file and all I need to know is at my fingertips.


There was one gambler, Mr. X (I’m not even going to put his name, just in case, so that no one can steal my clients), that always had to keep a bowl of pistachios at a specific poker table, or blackjack table, or whatever game he played. He always liked a specific suite and he always gambled with, at minimum, three million dollars. Oh and he always brought his wife, Mrs. X. Mr. X had been one of my first whales when I reached the big leagues and he’d stuck with me through my growing pains with the job. He had made me very rich. Mr. and Mrs. X had a son, M. The teenager had an interest in music so I learned what his favorite type of music was or his favorite bands and if I could get him to a concert, I did. I did whatever I could to keep M and Mrs. X busy so that they wouldn’t distract Mr. X from his gambling.

It hadn’t been long after I’d moved to Vegas that my body straightened out. My long oily looking hair was trimmed short and I had it seen to. My braces came off to reveal straight, gleaming teeth. I got rid of my glasses and had lasik surgery. With these changes I had gained confidence. That confidence had grown in my time in Vegas, as I became known as the expert in what I do.

Whenever M came with his parents I’d noticed the puppy look on his face when he looked at me but I was an adult now and he was a kid. On top of that, he was the kid of one of my whales. Even if I looked at him as more than a kid I could never get involved with a client or his family or risk compromising the relationship. It was one of the ways that I kept my status as the best of the best. I knew how to flirt without flaunting myself and I knew to keep my hands to myself.

Time passed and M stopped coming with his parents, but I still kept Mr. and Mrs. X busy whenever they came. I started to ask about how their son was once but the look on her face had stopped me, almost like she would either break down or if she was afraid. After I’d gotten them settled I did some quiet snooping, for my own peace of mind, but when I looked him up I came up with band names so I figured he’d gone his own way.

Back to Harper’s Rock, the night I came back to get things taken care of. I came to town, went straight to the hospital to check on Mom. She was resting so I went to try and take care of some of what I could. Unfortunately it was later in the night so most everything was closed. Rather than head back to Mom’s place, I sat at a family diner for something to eat and the use of some neighbor’s wireless. As I sat eating and working I was surprised when M came up to me. I hadn’t seen him in probably a decade and he’d grown up, his body had matured, had tattoos and long hair. Though I retained my cool look, I wanted to drool. We talked for a while, as I ate, then it was finally time for me to head to Mom’s so I could see what I had to do there, and get some sleep.

Looking back I can’t help but smile, even now, for that evening. He became my Stalker. I’d headed back to the hospital briefly but he had gone to watch where I was going and beat me to Mom’s house. There’d been thieves that had broken in though they couldn’t have gotten away with much, if anything. When I got there he had stepped out of the shadows and he warned me then checked to be sure that the guys were gone. It was sweet, him taking care of me like that. What really surprised me was the state of my mother’s house. She’d always liked to save things but in the fifteen years since I’d last been home, she’d gone to extremes. If I’d known it was like that I might have called the TV Show, Hoarders.

M helped me clean some of the junk out of there and we talked. I was so naïve, which is odd given all I’d seen in Vegas. M told me he had developed an allergy to the sun and that he was on this special diet. Had I but suspected then what I know now I don’t know what I would have done. Anyway, we talked as we cleaned and made some good progress. Then after getting sweaty one way, we ended up getting sweaty another way. Oh was that fun!

The next night he took me out, partially to do the actual date thing and partially to distract me from the mess still at home. Again that whole special diet came up, but everything else went fine. He’d even joked that we were dating in reverse. First had come the cleaning, then the sex, then the date. He had figured out how to make me smile, a true smile not just the fake ones that I put on for everyone.

For the next few nights things were steady, hot and heavy. We took walks, went out more, ended up at a hotel one night. In the heat of the moment of one of our marathon sessions I blurted out that I loved him. I’d never told anyone that before, well unless you counted my Mom. Never had I told a boy, a man, or even just a friend, that I loved them. It was huge for me. Not long after that though, he blurted out a proposal and despite the short time we’d been together, I’d accepted. I did love him, I do love him, and probably always will.

Meanwhile my Mom died and I had arrangements to have the funeral the next day. M had wished that he could come but his allergy to sunlight kept him from being able to, but he’d promised to come to the house that night. During the week I’d gotten the house stripped of all of the hoarded items and during the funeral the cleaners had come to do a deep cleaning so that I could get the place sold. The only things left inside was my small suitcase and an air mattress for me to sleep on. Night fell and M didn’t show up. I paced around and still he didn’t show. Finally I went to bed, but I couldn’t sleep, between wondering where he was and missing my Mom, my mind wouldn’t still.

Rather than just laying there for hours on end I finally got up and got dressed again. The garage still needed cleaned out. Though M had been vehement for me not to go out at night, that it was dangerous, this was home, where I’d grown up. How dangerous could it be? I turned on some music in the garage and started dancing as I cleaned, the garage door open. In the midst of my cleaning though, some things toppled from the top of the huge pile and one of them fell right on me, a coat of arms, complete with an antique and very real sword. The sword had penetrated my chest, piercing my lung and it hit my heart, or so I think that’s what all happened. I immediately passed out from the pain and shock, then started fading in and out.

When I’d been dancing I’d gained an audience, unknown to me at the time. Isabella Drake. She saw me dancing and had admired my gracefulness, my freedom and my spirit and so when the sword did it’s dirty work, she made an offer I couldn’t refuse and live. I was already dying, laying there on the cement with a sword sticking out of me. I remember that the weight of the handle kept it sort of moving back and forth, which didn’t help the pain. Isabella turned me to keep me alive, my spirit. After she turned me she took me home with her to take care of me.

Evidently after I left M had come and had found the house empty and first thought I’d just left. Then after he circled the house he found my music still playing in the garage and saw the huge pool of blood on the cement from where I’d been bleeding out. Worried, he had called the local hospitals, then the morgues, but he couldn’t find me.

That next night I sat waiting for him for I knew the truth. Alergy my foot! He was a vampire and now, so was I. I thought that news would make him happy. We were engaged and now the relationship could, literally, last forever. His first reaction was anger. He wanted to kill Isabella until he heard what had happened. Then of course, he blamed himself for being late. Finally he saw what Path I’m on and flipped out. Seems he’d had some problems with an Allurist or two and so he didn’t trust us. Hearing some of what had happened, I understood those reasons, but when he tried to walk away from me for it, I flipped out. We argued then we loved and things were right once more.

Things went well for a while and almost routine. I got a job at the CW Casino as the Casino Host and so I went and worked, trying to get my whales to brave the coolness of Canada rather than go to the Vegas heat, he worked in other ways, things I still don’t get. Since I was staying in Harper’s Rock I decided not to sell the house and instead had it redone inside, more modern but homey at the same time. M was given a key. We were happy.

Bringing us closer, he got a puppy that was ours, Eris. The little girl is a sweetheart and she helps to keep me company. It was difficult there the first few days, when she needed to go outside during the day and I couldn’t get into the sun, not to mention the fact that M had been killed so he couldn’t help with her. When he returned though, everything was right with the world again. He finally went so far as to introducing me to his sire and I’ve grown close to the man, his sire I mean, and now I call him Pops.

Everything wasn’t all right though. M’s best friend is a woman and though he was supposedly in love with me, he loved her like a friend. Quite often he began to spend time out with her, fighting with this person or that, rather than coming home to me. I took it in stride at first, but then he told me what was going to happen and I froze, everything changed. His family needed alliances and none of his family could form one so he had volunteered to form a political marriage… with none other than his best friend. I don’t have to say that it was like a stab to my chest. I was upset, hurt, angry, frustrated and suddenly everything felt like it was falling apart.

First my sire was rarely around because she was dealing with her own issues with her husband, then the rug was pulled out from under me. M is persuasive though. He convinced me that he was in love with me, that it was just a political marriage, and that his fiancé had someone else too. So I became what I swore I’d never be, the other woman. Then I learned that he had to sleep with her to “seal the deal” and that drove me nuts once more. Despite the hurt, the pain, I love him.

Something’s changed in me though, even if I didn’t see it, not then at least. Suddenly instead of a strong, independent woman, I’m a weepy, co-dependent mess. How had this happened? Then I was hating myself for wallowing in self pity, getting teary over a man, something I’d sworn I’d never do, and just being absolutely anti-Me. To top matters off, M’s best friend was killed and suddenly M was bent on revenge, to the exclusion of all else. I understand that he wants to avenge his best friend, but he went off and started fighting and didn’t look back. Sometimes I didn’t see or hear from him for days. When I did it was typically a brief text, after I had texted him, It would just say something to the effect of he was safe and glad she was safe. Nothing on when he was coming home and sometimes he didn’t even say he loved me. It plunged me back into the well of torment I had been working my way out of. I lost it. It didn’t help matters that I had promised him that I wouldn’t be with anyone else but as an Allurist, my sex drive was higher than on many vampires so it’d been a week or two without seeing him and between the heightened emotions and the sexual spring wound tight inside of me, I was literally going mad, and I couldn’t sleep. Night after night the emotions and the hunger kept me awake. I went to stay at Pops’ place and he held me, listened to me and treated me like I was his own. I love my Pops, even if he isn’t my sire. I love him even more when he did as I asked and helped me fall asleep. No he didn’t release any of the pent up pressure and he couldn’t ease the emotional burdens that were threatening to drown me, but he used a nerve pinch on my neck. As he came toward me it looked like he was Spock in Star Trek, doing the Vulcan Neck Pinch. Thanks to him though, I had the first sleep I’d had in days. So today I feel better, my head is clearer. My heart still hurts but I think that I can see clearer today than I did before.

The man I love is in love with his best friend, even if he can’t admit it to himself. We have to part ways or we’ll ruin even the good times we had. One day we might be able to love each other again, but for now things have to run their course. I have to let him be free to be with the woman he loves most, and I have to try to find someone that can love me for me, not the memory of a teenage crush.

Along the way though, I’ve grown further from my family. I rarely see any of them. I’m loyal, out of thanks and respect for Isabella’s saving of my life, but they’re just people I might see in a crowd now. Every couple of weeks I leave notes for Isabella until she comes to find me. Oh, M had also gotten as a cat, Clio, so there’s her too. Then just recently I did my own saving and now I have a daughter. I have to try and be strong for my young Jadah, another reason to try not to dwell upon what has happened. Hopefully if I keep up this journal it will help. So it is just Jadah, Eris, Clio and me.

Oh, I was turned August 5th, 2011, so everything is from about a week before then to now, well almost everything.

Well, that’s it. Last night M and I sat down and had a talk, the talk. It seems that we’d both come to the same conclusion at the same time. As always the gentleman, he let me go first. I told him that I love him, that I always will, but that I knew he was in love with Her. Then I mentioned the old adage, about if you love someone enough to let them go, if things were meant to be then they’ll come back to you. Real love will always find each other.

He talked about how we’d changed, and not for the best. Yes, I’d turned from a strong, independent, head-sure woman into a sniveling co-dependent basket case. That damnable Heightened Emotions had really screwed me up. It was true. At the same time as I had changed, his reactions toward me changed. He’d fallen for the independent woman and then I’d turned into this crap. The way I’d changed basically repulsed him and I believe it because I repulse me too.

What really got to me was the fact that he wanted to take Eris and Clio. It wasn’t enough that I was losing my love, but he was taking our pets. Yes, he’d paid for them, brought them home, sprung them on me, but I took care of them, fed them, watered them, walked them, changed the litter box. When he was off hiding or fighting I was the one taking care of our little pets. He offered to get me new pets but I couldn’t do that. It would be like replacing them and there was no replacing either. So the first pets I have ever had are gone now too. That leaves just my childe and I.

Yes I still have my sire, Isabella, as well as my adopted father, Pops. I left both of them notes to tell them what had happened, though Pops’ said more than Isabella’s did. Maybe that’s because he was there to hold me when I fell apart the most. He really has become a father figure for me and I’ve never had a father in all my life. It’s odd that he’s a few years younger than me, but he’s such a great guy and very protective. I think I can get off of his couch now, and head home, though the place is going to be really empty without M, Eris and Clio. It’s nice to have activity around but Pops’ place really is a bachelor pad, plus he’s got his love and I don’t want to be in the way.

Now it’s time to learn more about who and what I am. Yes, I’m a vampire and yes, I’m an allurist, but what does that mean? SoA is opening soon and I’m looking forward to meeting more in the group. So far I’ve only met four: two instructors and two students. I was glad that I got to talk to Nicius on his birthday, sing him a song.

You know, I’ve never been one to keep a diary or journal, but I think it really does help. It was through writing my journal yesterday that I helped work things out in my mind and today’s entry seems to have helped too.

Oh, I wanted to add that M and I did end on a good note. It was awkward for a few moments there, but we kept talking and were even joking by the end. I hated seeing Clio and Eris carried and walked off like that but loss is a part of life, right? And you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Never understood that line until now, not truly.

I acquired my final Allurist power tonight too, almost forgot that, with all of the drama.