New Chapter of Life
Posted: 18 Nov 2020, 20:47
November .:. 18th .:. 2020
°Burning Books°
Bright New Beginning
°Building Bridges°
New Life Worth Living
I fall Away.
I fall Insane.------------------
Life goes on with all the Pain.
Where to begin, so much has come to pass. First, I burned my old journal. It was an old part of my life. A part I care not to remember. I am nowhere near perfect, but have come a long way. Darkness of the past lingers with me, it has changed me. The SR is a place I never wish to visit again. I have been back for so long now, but at times I still see things that remind me of that dark place. Shadows… It feels as if I'm going crazy at times. The panic attacks have started up again, this likely due to me venturing out once more. Hiding away for the rest of my life, was no longer an option. To change this, I started small. I'm making weapons again, and even found a vampire who has been selling me swords to improve. Then I finally reached out on the Docere CrowNet, and have become acquainted with a few vampires who share in the same bloodline.
Can't claim to know much about Zachariah, Nathaniel never told me of his sire. The Docere CrowNet is mostly quiet, but I was sure to offer help in any way I'm able. My sword making skills have improved, so have offered any having a blood connection a free weapon. In such dark times, it helps to have decent weapons to defend yourself. I hope to know more of the Docere bloodline. With no living family, and my sire away, Docere could be all I have left. I feel this played part in why I turned another recently. Her name is Tawney and I have been doing anything I can to make this new life easier for her. Recently I was able to make her a tome that will bring her to my apartment. I know how helpful it was when I finally made a tome of my own. Just want her to feel welcome, and to know there is a place for her.
The plan is to make more connections, even if the social interactions cause me anxiety. This is for the good of making it through whatever's coming. The city is changing. Hate building, with no end in sight. I want to help somehow. I want to care about the well-being of others and have people in my life again that care about me. If I ever did go to the SR again, I want to know someone would be waiting for me when I got back. Life needs meaning again and purpose. I just need to figure out what it will take to find that. There was a time when I thought I had found all of that, but I screwed it up; before things even had a chance. I still have nightmares about the shooting, even after all this time.
- Life will be what I make of it, and it's time for change.
Can't claim to know much about Zachariah, Nathaniel never told me of his sire. The Docere CrowNet is mostly quiet, but I was sure to offer help in any way I'm able. My sword making skills have improved, so have offered any having a blood connection a free weapon. In such dark times, it helps to have decent weapons to defend yourself. I hope to know more of the Docere bloodline. With no living family, and my sire away, Docere could be all I have left. I feel this played part in why I turned another recently. Her name is Tawney and I have been doing anything I can to make this new life easier for her. Recently I was able to make her a tome that will bring her to my apartment. I know how helpful it was when I finally made a tome of my own. Just want her to feel welcome, and to know there is a place for her.
The plan is to make more connections, even if the social interactions cause me anxiety. This is for the good of making it through whatever's coming. The city is changing. Hate building, with no end in sight. I want to help somehow. I want to care about the well-being of others and have people in my life again that care about me. If I ever did go to the SR again, I want to know someone would be waiting for me when I got back. Life needs meaning again and purpose. I just need to figure out what it will take to find that. There was a time when I thought I had found all of that, but I screwed it up; before things even had a chance. I still have nightmares about the shooting, even after all this time.
- Life will be what I make of it, and it's time for change.