Yeehaw!

[Levi DAmico]

Location: Cal Lac, Equid Charters / Algonquin Caverns, Wilderness
Date: February 3rd 2020
Time: 23:21
Attendees: Levi D’Amico & Shirosame Hiroumi
Situation: Phone call

---

Levi: “What?”

Shiro: “Well that’s one way to answer your phone...” *grumbles*

Levi: “Well, I knew who was calling.”

Shiro: “Charming. So... how goes it? Are we keeping ourselves entertained tonight?”

Levi: *shrugs* “Yeah, I guess so. Killing ****’s pretty ******* routine at this rate, though.”

Shiro: “It would be to you. What’s the body count so far?”

Levi: *groans* “We’re at... 9 right now.”

Shiro: “Well, the night’s still young?”

Levi: “More than happy to make it 10 if you keep talking, Shiro.”

Shiro: “Oh stop complaining. It’s not like you have to balance your phone while you talk now that I’ve finally convinced you to step into the modern era with me and use the ear pieces.”

Levi: “Yeah. There’s nothing annoying about having your ******* voice streaming directly into my ******* head at all.”

Shiro: “Ah, bite me”

Levi: *smirks* “Poor choice of words to use to a Vampiro.”

Shiro: “Whatever.”

Levi: “So what do you want?”

Shiro: “Nothing. Just checking in on you.”

Levi: “...Why?”

Shiro: “Because I saw a load of idiots running about earlier flashing mirrors in people’s faces and I got worried.”

Levi: *tries to suppress a laugh* “You got worried about me?”

Shiro: “No you ******* idiot. I got worried one of those ******* idiots got in your way and you killed them.”

Levi: “Oh. Nah. There ain’t people where I hang out, which is kinda the point.”

Shiro: “Well, that’s reassuring I guess since I don’t see you unless it’s on your terms, apparently.”

Levi: *sighs a long breath* “That’s business now, Shiro. You’ve got a job to do, remember?”

Shiro: *growls* “Don’t patronise me you piece of ****. I told you that if you wanted this to work between us then you have to treat me like you did before, like your partner and not your ******* pet.”

Levi: “Yeah, yeah. You’re my equal even though I could squish you like a tiny, little bug. I get it.”

Shiro: “**** off.”

Levi: *laughs*

---

The sound of gunfire interrupts Levi’s laughter and Shiro rips the earpiece away before it can damage his hearing. The Japanese man continues to listen as the sound of footsteps, rustling movement, further gunfire, and the hiss of wind punctures the static void from their telephone conversation. What follows is around three minutes of Italian expletives, the stomp of hooves, and a ghostly braying mixed in with the earlier orchester. Shiro isn’t sure exactly what’s happening - besides a fight - until he hears what sounds like Levi adjusting the piece in his ear and the rough crackle of his breath, prompting Shiro to return the piece to his own ear.

---

Levi: *panting* “Make that 10.”

Shiro: “Jesus. What the hell was that?”

Levi: *sighs* “Ah, nothing. You know what, though? I really don’t like horses.”

Shiro: *laughs nervously*

Levi: “What?”

Shiro: *continues smirking* “You say ‘horses’ funny.”

Levi: “Culo.”

Shiro: “Sorry, sorry.” *clears his throat* “Are you being harassed by horses or something?”

Levi: “Something like that. Feeling like a regular old cowboy right about now.”

Shiro: *laughs* “I can’t imagine you in the get-up, honestly.”

Levi: “No? I’m thinking about making my entire office out of their hides.”

Shiro: *continues smirking* “Yeah, that’ll teach them not to **** with you.”

Levi: “Hmm. You’re right, too garish. Ain’t anybody scared of skinned horses save the vegans and they ain’t invited over anyway.”

Shiro: “...Right.”

Levi: “Right. So. How’s them spiders and snakes doing with ya?”

Shiro: “Oh yeah, just ******* fabulous, thank you for asking.”

Levi: “They’ll leave you alone if you just ignore them.”

Shiro: “It’s kind of difficult to ignore a seven foot spider hanging upside down inches from your face, but sure, I’ll take your advice on that.”

Levi: “Want me to give you, like, a really big cup and plate to catch them or something?”

Shiro: “Ha, ha. Very funny.”

Levi: *smirks*

Shiro: “Although your concern is touching, really, I can take care of myself. At least no one has tried to eat me yet, which is surprising, all things considered.”

Levi: “Well, I’m working on that little problem.”

Shiro: “What do you mean?”

Levi: “Don’t worry about it. Just keep being your ninja-*** self and stay out of trouble so I don’t have to crack skulls.”

Shiro: “...Right.”

Levi: “Just trust me and do as I say.”

Shiro: “You make trusting you extremely difficult, Levi.”

Levi: “Ah, you’re only saying that because I tried to kill you.”

Shiro: “Which still isn’t even close to being funny.”

Levi: “That’s because you’re too close to the joke. And the gun.”

Shiro: *sneers* “Cute.”

Levi: *smirks* “Ah relax, Jaws. I said I was sorry and, for once, genuinely meant it. And, I’m being more than nice to you about ****.”

Shiro: “Mmhmm.”

Levi: “What?”

Shiro: “Nothing. I got work to do. I’ll catch up with you later, I guess.”

Levi: *sighs* “Alright.”

Shiro: “Ciao.”