Reflections

[Amalea]

This journal is non-hackable and non-accessible without being given direct access. It should not be used IC without permission.

February 2, 2018

It seemed so surreal to sit and talk to first Flynn then Azraeth about what occurred last night. I must admit that they took it better than I could have hoped. Especially poor Flynn that had the misfortune of having to deal with me being a mess before brother dearest awoke from his slumber. They make a good pair; hopefully someday they make it official-official… like with a ring. But I digress… I don’t feel completely better about everything but it helps to know those two don’t hate me right now. I suspect they may be part of a very small list in that regard.

I wanted to talk to Papa tonight but couldn’t get a hold of him. I left a message, but never heard back. I think Liz is about to leave for her trip, so I’m not overly surprised, I suppose. It’s important though… I want… no need… to tell him what occurred. He’ll be angry, I’m sure, but he needs to hear it from me. It’s better that way. I only hope I haven’t fucked things up too much...

[Amalea]

February 5, 2018

I still haven’t been able to talk to Papa. I wonder if Liz has left for her trip yet. It would explain his absence if she had not given I don’t recall her knowing when she would be back? I need to talk to her as well, there is no doubt there. Papa first, though.

I keep wishing and hoping that it was just a bad dream. I really do. I know it’s not. I relive it every night as of late wondering where things went wrong to no avail. I think I’m slowly going mad for it feels that way. There’s nothing to be done for it. There’s no going back; only forward. Always forward.

Lita tells me I need to go out more. I’m perfectly fine here though; she doesn’t get it. If she had her way, I’d be dragged to the nearest bar and plyed with drinks. That’s not an option. A cocoon is an option. The slow blissful descent into unconsciousness in hopes that the darkness keeps away the nightmares.

[Amalea]

February 8, 2018

Again...no contact from Papa. I have to wonder if perhaps he chose to accompany Liz on her trip. It would be odd for him not to say something, I think, but he has gone a couple weeks without a word before. I hope he’s not having another crisis like the last. I will keep trying, though. It’s too important to give up.

Today’s paper was interesting as it discussed zombies. Not a new topic, for sure, but one that hasn’t arisen in a while. I have to wonder what the sudden interest in them is aside from the study referenced that is. I doubt the results; I’ve been here long enough to see that the zombie population hasn’t really grown as much as the vampire one.

In reality, it is the part of the article the indicates the population seems to have increased sharply that caught the majority of my attention. I had to read it twice to ensure that the monstrosities are still in their cage. It’s disconcerting to know of the spike and now I’m left to wonder if perhaps Theo is involved. That’s a worrying thought...

[Amalea]

February 12, 2018

The newspaper mentioned the zombies again. They’re multiplying by someone unknown force. The article mentioned the Hebigumo Foundation and their experiments. Though, I swear they shut them down… at least that’s what we were told. Perhaps they didn’t. I’m unsurprised by their statement throwing vampires under the bus given it was mainly vampires that got their research shut down in the first place.

I know some consider me a siren lover. I’m not though I can understand their reasonings. I’m just in favor of balance within the city between all the species. Perhaps not in complete harmony, but in a symbiotic relationship would work just as well; anything is better than being snipping each other. I’m not sure the rest of the city could be convinced of that though. I’m not sure they realize we’re stronger as one than divided.

[Amalea]

February 17, 2018

Still nothing from Papa. At this point, I really do hope he went with Elizabeth and it slipped his mind to tell me.

I feel like I’m lost and drifting. I see Azraeth on a semi-regular basis given he works for me and we’re like neighbors. Flynn too, though, not as often as he works elsewhere. I just don’t feel like I have an anchor anymore. I’m not sure I even ever had one. It’s like everything is off-balance with no possibility of self-correcting.

The news report about Isabella Thompson is disturbing as is the report of those dying almost immediately becoming zombies. I’ve never heard of that occurring in seven years. It could be coincidence.. But I don’t think it is…

[Amalea]

February 23, 2018

There’s no doubt that this is Theo’s doing. There can’t be.

Yet still can’t reach Papa. I need to tell him. Soon. So soon.

Liz would be my other choice but she is still on her trip.

Someone else? No… can’t. Papa has to be first...

[Amalea]

Continued from here

September 11, 2018

[Amalea]

September 25, 2018

[Amalea]

June 4, 2019

Eight years with lots of ups and downs. It's been an interesting ride but I'm truly glad and incredibly grateful there are some in my life that fit this.

[Amalea]

June 6, 2019

Hannah Montana was a bit after my time... not that I got to watch a lot of shows anyway... but I heard this this morning and it seemed fitting. So here it is.