Journal Date 11/03/2017

[Varo Ricci (DELETED 9075)]

What a world. The shadow realm is nothing as how I described it last time, ah, well, perhaps that merely the shock of it. I feel...invited to it. Maybe I'm merely crazy, then again, I suppose death could do that to you. Ah well, I'm out of that now. I've noticed I did write down a lot of much smaller details in my life that I'll need to focus on if I want to work in this world properly. I'll need to write down every little thing about my life. Since I lose my memories every month, I'll have to be very careful to make sure that I know what I'm doing on a day to day basis, or I suppose more of a monthly basis. However, if that cure does exist still, and if it's something that I could possibly ever obtain. Then I will have it and I don't care if I have to kill to get it.

A cure, an end to this madness. I could finally live, or die, like any other human can. I don'y remember my human life, but I can envy what I do not have can't I? What a wonderful life I would have to finally no longer fear being hunted down. At least as a human I wouldn't have to pay attention to where I was just to feed. And most vampires leave their victims alive, so I'd be relatively safe compared to where I am now.

Ah the feeling of release from this life. How I want it, and how I loathe those who think being a vampire isn't all that bad. Those creatures who went after the cure to destroy it were little more then beasts. And they should not be forgiven.

Then again, I can't remember who did it for the life of me. So that hate doesn't really help does it. All I can do is wait and see. Wait until something happens, anything.