Things that Matter [closed]
Posted: 14 Aug 2017, 08:38
[BLAIZE]
The tour had ended, and Blaize was home. Back in Harper Rock, and with a new childe in tow. Breno. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, but it had happened – whether by fate or by force of some will he didn’t know he had, Breno was now part of the hoard of undead. Although Blaize hoped that Breno wouldn’t hate it, or hate Blaize for what he had done, the sacrifice seemed worth the relief. The black dog of suicidal depression had got so bad that the Swan had assumed it was part of being a vampire. It was some heightened emotion, some remnant of rage from his youth. It made no sense, given how much he thanked Lyonel for what he had done, for turning him into the vampire that he was.
But now here he was, right as rain, happy as the day he was born. The letter he had written to his sire still sat in the back of a drawer of his desk at the studio, unsent and unread. And Blaize was embarrassed to think of it now, embarrassed to think of how close he had come. It all felt like a dream. As soon as Blaize’s blood filtered Breno’s system, the darkness was lifted like a thunder cloud pushed away by a strong gust of wind. Back in Harper Rock, it was back to business as usual, back to the studio and the drug trade working out its back doors. Back to dancing – now just for practice, rather than for a particular role. Still intense, but not as intense as usual, Blaize had the studio to himself. Max Richter played through the loud speakers, Blaize studying a video of a ballet based on the works of Virginia Woolf. It was less traditional than he would have liked, but was intriguing nonetheless.
He sat on the floor while the laptop sat open on a chair in front of him; he was wearing only dancer’s tights, barefoot, focused – trying to memorise the choreography so that he could imitate, as best as possible.
[ALEKSANDRA]
Another hour passed after she had hastily scribbled the last word, and she still hadn’t moved. It was if her legs were frozen in that bent position, her arms cemented to her knees. She hardly felt the rain as it bathed her skin, nor did she notice the lightning that struck the ground mere feet away. The thunder, however, was the one thing that shook her from her stasis. It crashed across the sky, causing the window above her head to rattle, a few cracks spider-webbing through the wary frame. For a moment, she contemplated remaining there until morning – but then she remembered.
Morning for her meant death.
Groaning quietly beneath her breath, she finally forced her limbs to wake, each one screaming in protest as she reluctantly pulled herself to her feet. Her jeans felt as if they weighed a ton, the denim clinging to her shapely legs in an uncomfortable manner. “You brought this on yourself,” she muttered, her words soon drowned beneath another massive clap of thunder. Pushing her hand through her soaked curls, she clutched her notebook to her soaked shirt and turned in the direction of the studio. She hadn’t a clue if he’d be there, but it was the one place she always knew to find him.
It didn’t take her long to find the door, and it took her even less time to push her way inside. It was if she finally realized it was raining and that she was soaked. The first step she took into the studio nearly had her falling, but it was by the grace of God – or her vampirism – that she managed to throw her hand against the doorframe before she completely wiped out. Straightening to her full five foot four height, she gave her thin, thoroughly drenched, shirt a pull and followed the sound of music until she found him.
“Blaize.”
[BLAIZE]
So focused was he on his work that he barely noticed the storm raging outside. It was the kind of natural spectacle that had people running and hiding, but Blaize remained where he was, confident in the structure he found himself within. The walls were solid, the roof steadfast. He should have had a notebook with him, he should have been writing things down – but he was happy to just watch and re-watch the ballet until he had all the moves memorised. And if he forgot something? He’d improvise.
He didn’t hear the door opening, nor did he hear it close. He heard nothing until he heard his name, spoken in a voice that he would never forget. He vaguely recalled the note that Aleksandra had left behind, and the date she’d written of her return. A date, back then, he’d thought would be too late. He turned on the spot to take her in, rain-sodden and heavy – in features, not in frame. His jaw hung open, that realisation that he hadn’t called her, or texted her.
Just as he was about to speak there was another thunderous clap, the flash of lightning simultaneous. The power flickered before it went out completely, a fizzing hissing sound cursing outside somewhere. A power pole had been hit. The music ceased, and Blaize lithely got to his feet. It didn’t matter that there was no light. He could see perfectly, regardless. Perks of being a vampire.
“Aleksa,” he said, finally. “Don’t you own an umbrella?”
[ALEKSANDRA]
As a child, she had always been afraid of the dark. It had, truthfully, followed her into her adult years. Now, however, that fear she always felt clawing at her throat was dormant. Instead, she waited the millisecond it took for her eyes to adjust, and then she watched him. It never failed to leave her breathless, the way he moved. It was as if he wasn’t of this world, his body connected to a plane that none of them could reach. She had witnessed other dancers before – but nothing like him. Gritting her teeth against the sudden surge of… whatever… it was she felt when she saw him, she worked her jaw.
She had never felt the urge to strike him before, but now, at his question – it burned through her veins. He didn’t call. He didn’t text. He didn’t even send a letter. Instead, he didn’t care. He never cared. With a quiet laugh, she shook her head, sending drops of rain across the room. “Is that really all you have to say?” Her words were hushed as she stepped forward, despite herself. She still felt that pull to him, the pull that would surely leave her broken if she didn’t figure it out. She was already well on her way.
Tightening her arms across her chest, she clutched her notebook in a titan’s grip and narrowed her eyes, the blue sparking with as much light as the lightning outside. Words burned the tip of her tongue, her fingers ached to touch him, to feel that he was real, to know that she was home – but she remained frozen, much like she had in that deserted alley. Instead, she watched him, red-rimmed eyes refusing to pull from his face, as if she could tear the truth from his expression.
[BLAIZE]
No, perhaps it wasn’t the best question to ask, given Aleksandra’s state and the reason she’d been away. Her father had been ill, Blaize remembered – and now faced with Aleksa’s rage and her rimmed-red eyes, he had a sudden sinking feeling that her father didn’t get any better. And here he was asking about umbrellas. His lips pressed together in a tight line, silence pervading the space between them – aside from the thundering rain on the roof – as Blaize tried to figure out his next course of action.
“I’m sorry. Welcome back…” he said, which is what he should have started with, he mused. Given the daggers Aleksa’s eyes had turned into, Blaize doubted that any form of physical contact would be wise. And so he merely stood there, paused, arms hanging limp at his sides.
“It didn’t go well, did it?” he finally asked. Was there any other way he could say it? There was no sensitive way to ask ‘did your father die?’ He could only wait and see whether Aleksandra would tell him of her own accord. The darkness was interrupted every few long seconds by flashes of lightning – some close, some far away. He turned from that vicious glare and cocked his head, indicating Aleksa should follow. There was a cupboard in the locker room with clean towels inside, for the dancers to use after long and arduous sessions.
[ALEKSANDRA]
If she hadn’t been watching him as closely as she was, she would have missed the sudden tightening of his mouth. It was an expression he made often, though it gave her no true insight to his thoughts. It wouldn’t surprise her if that subtle hardness was due to the fact she was dripping rain on his floor – he took his work seriously, and this studio was a part of him, after all. Clamping down on the desire to suddenly grip her shirt, pull it off, and wring it out right in front of him, she instead clutched her journal tighter. The words within seemed to burn through the cover and into her hand, reminding her.
“Thank you.” The response was automatic and lacking the usual warmth she graced him with. It was if the light had been leeched from her, leaving her nothing more than a shell of the woman she once was. It wasn’t just the death of her father that left her reeling, but the man in front of her. He was the most confusing, insufferable, intense man that she had ever met, and he constantly left her balancing on the edge of insanity. If he realized the affect he had on her, he didn’t care. That was all it came down to, it was written in a bold, deep scrawl in the pages of her notebook, and it was glaring at her now.
He didn’t care.
As if wanting to drive the point home, his question hung between them. In another state of mind, she would have found his form of the question endearing. If it hadn’t been aimed at her, about her father, she might have teased him. Instead, she gave a bitter laugh and finally unwound her arms, holding them out at her sides. “Does it really look like it went well, Blaize? I mean, seriously.” Her wild emotions had her accent growing thick, and as she pushed her hands through her hair, she forced herself to follow.
“He was alive long enough to see me walk through the door, and you never called.”
[BLAIZE]
“I ah…no,” he said, chewing at the inside of his lip as he found the cupboard, opened it, and pulled out one of the fluffy white towels. Did he even know who washed these? Who brought them back every day, neatly folded as if this were a five-star hotel? Probably Laura. He made a mental note to thank her. The towel fell out of its folds as he held it out to Aleksa, his other hand held out, palm up, for her to put the book into. If she wanted to. He could take it off her hands if she wanted to dry herself.
“I…” he started to tell her that he had things going on, that he was barely in the state of mind to call her. But he caught himself just in time. It would be equally – if not more – insensitive than asking if she had an umbrella. He couldn’t offer excuses, couldn’t pretend his problems were worse than hers. Even if he, too, had nearly ended up dead.
“I’m sorry,” he said, finally. “For your father. And for not calling,” he said. He wanted to ask her if she was okay, but the answer was standing right in front of him. No, he wouldn’t be asking that question, either. There wasn’t much more that he could say, or do. Was there? She had come to him. Was it for comfort or condolence? He was so unpractised at both. Care was not something he was accustomed to, and was not something he knew how to show. It should have come naturally, shouldn’t it? And yet, Blaize remained stunted.
[ALEKSANDRA]
For a moment, she thought about handing him the book, allowing the cover to fall open, and revealing the words written within. The desire lasted an entire second before she turned and tucked the book into one of the cupboards as slender fingers quickly pulled the towel from his grasp. Lifting it to her face, she hid her features within the comforting white, her eyes closing as she fought to control her emotions. A breakdown was on the horizon, threatening to take her over until she was a quivering mess.
She couldn’t allow that to happen.
Even though she didn’t need to breathe, she pulled air into her lungs and ran the towel through her hair, tired eyes landing once more on his as he stumbled to apologize. She had hoped to hear something more, to know that the dark thoughts plaguing her mind were a lie, but it appeared that wouldn’t happen. Instead, he was further driving the point home – she wasn’t important. “Don’t apologize,” she muttered, fingers deftly working the towel through her hair. “It’s my fault for not realizing the truth sooner. I mean, you did practically write it in the skyline. You don’t care about me.”
The moment the words were breathed into the world, she closed her eyes and dropped the towel. Her other hand pulled the notebook from the cupboard, fingers clutching it so tight, the cover bent. “You saved my life; you don’t owe me anymore than that, right?”
The tour had ended, and Blaize was home. Back in Harper Rock, and with a new childe in tow. Breno. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, but it had happened – whether by fate or by force of some will he didn’t know he had, Breno was now part of the hoard of undead. Although Blaize hoped that Breno wouldn’t hate it, or hate Blaize for what he had done, the sacrifice seemed worth the relief. The black dog of suicidal depression had got so bad that the Swan had assumed it was part of being a vampire. It was some heightened emotion, some remnant of rage from his youth. It made no sense, given how much he thanked Lyonel for what he had done, for turning him into the vampire that he was.
But now here he was, right as rain, happy as the day he was born. The letter he had written to his sire still sat in the back of a drawer of his desk at the studio, unsent and unread. And Blaize was embarrassed to think of it now, embarrassed to think of how close he had come. It all felt like a dream. As soon as Blaize’s blood filtered Breno’s system, the darkness was lifted like a thunder cloud pushed away by a strong gust of wind. Back in Harper Rock, it was back to business as usual, back to the studio and the drug trade working out its back doors. Back to dancing – now just for practice, rather than for a particular role. Still intense, but not as intense as usual, Blaize had the studio to himself. Max Richter played through the loud speakers, Blaize studying a video of a ballet based on the works of Virginia Woolf. It was less traditional than he would have liked, but was intriguing nonetheless.
He sat on the floor while the laptop sat open on a chair in front of him; he was wearing only dancer’s tights, barefoot, focused – trying to memorise the choreography so that he could imitate, as best as possible.
[ALEKSANDRA]
Another hour passed after she had hastily scribbled the last word, and she still hadn’t moved. It was if her legs were frozen in that bent position, her arms cemented to her knees. She hardly felt the rain as it bathed her skin, nor did she notice the lightning that struck the ground mere feet away. The thunder, however, was the one thing that shook her from her stasis. It crashed across the sky, causing the window above her head to rattle, a few cracks spider-webbing through the wary frame. For a moment, she contemplated remaining there until morning – but then she remembered.
Morning for her meant death.
Groaning quietly beneath her breath, she finally forced her limbs to wake, each one screaming in protest as she reluctantly pulled herself to her feet. Her jeans felt as if they weighed a ton, the denim clinging to her shapely legs in an uncomfortable manner. “You brought this on yourself,” she muttered, her words soon drowned beneath another massive clap of thunder. Pushing her hand through her soaked curls, she clutched her notebook to her soaked shirt and turned in the direction of the studio. She hadn’t a clue if he’d be there, but it was the one place she always knew to find him.
It didn’t take her long to find the door, and it took her even less time to push her way inside. It was if she finally realized it was raining and that she was soaked. The first step she took into the studio nearly had her falling, but it was by the grace of God – or her vampirism – that she managed to throw her hand against the doorframe before she completely wiped out. Straightening to her full five foot four height, she gave her thin, thoroughly drenched, shirt a pull and followed the sound of music until she found him.
“Blaize.”
[BLAIZE]
So focused was he on his work that he barely noticed the storm raging outside. It was the kind of natural spectacle that had people running and hiding, but Blaize remained where he was, confident in the structure he found himself within. The walls were solid, the roof steadfast. He should have had a notebook with him, he should have been writing things down – but he was happy to just watch and re-watch the ballet until he had all the moves memorised. And if he forgot something? He’d improvise.
He didn’t hear the door opening, nor did he hear it close. He heard nothing until he heard his name, spoken in a voice that he would never forget. He vaguely recalled the note that Aleksandra had left behind, and the date she’d written of her return. A date, back then, he’d thought would be too late. He turned on the spot to take her in, rain-sodden and heavy – in features, not in frame. His jaw hung open, that realisation that he hadn’t called her, or texted her.
Just as he was about to speak there was another thunderous clap, the flash of lightning simultaneous. The power flickered before it went out completely, a fizzing hissing sound cursing outside somewhere. A power pole had been hit. The music ceased, and Blaize lithely got to his feet. It didn’t matter that there was no light. He could see perfectly, regardless. Perks of being a vampire.
“Aleksa,” he said, finally. “Don’t you own an umbrella?”
[ALEKSANDRA]
As a child, she had always been afraid of the dark. It had, truthfully, followed her into her adult years. Now, however, that fear she always felt clawing at her throat was dormant. Instead, she waited the millisecond it took for her eyes to adjust, and then she watched him. It never failed to leave her breathless, the way he moved. It was as if he wasn’t of this world, his body connected to a plane that none of them could reach. She had witnessed other dancers before – but nothing like him. Gritting her teeth against the sudden surge of… whatever… it was she felt when she saw him, she worked her jaw.
She had never felt the urge to strike him before, but now, at his question – it burned through her veins. He didn’t call. He didn’t text. He didn’t even send a letter. Instead, he didn’t care. He never cared. With a quiet laugh, she shook her head, sending drops of rain across the room. “Is that really all you have to say?” Her words were hushed as she stepped forward, despite herself. She still felt that pull to him, the pull that would surely leave her broken if she didn’t figure it out. She was already well on her way.
Tightening her arms across her chest, she clutched her notebook in a titan’s grip and narrowed her eyes, the blue sparking with as much light as the lightning outside. Words burned the tip of her tongue, her fingers ached to touch him, to feel that he was real, to know that she was home – but she remained frozen, much like she had in that deserted alley. Instead, she watched him, red-rimmed eyes refusing to pull from his face, as if she could tear the truth from his expression.
[BLAIZE]
No, perhaps it wasn’t the best question to ask, given Aleksandra’s state and the reason she’d been away. Her father had been ill, Blaize remembered – and now faced with Aleksa’s rage and her rimmed-red eyes, he had a sudden sinking feeling that her father didn’t get any better. And here he was asking about umbrellas. His lips pressed together in a tight line, silence pervading the space between them – aside from the thundering rain on the roof – as Blaize tried to figure out his next course of action.
“I’m sorry. Welcome back…” he said, which is what he should have started with, he mused. Given the daggers Aleksa’s eyes had turned into, Blaize doubted that any form of physical contact would be wise. And so he merely stood there, paused, arms hanging limp at his sides.
“It didn’t go well, did it?” he finally asked. Was there any other way he could say it? There was no sensitive way to ask ‘did your father die?’ He could only wait and see whether Aleksandra would tell him of her own accord. The darkness was interrupted every few long seconds by flashes of lightning – some close, some far away. He turned from that vicious glare and cocked his head, indicating Aleksa should follow. There was a cupboard in the locker room with clean towels inside, for the dancers to use after long and arduous sessions.
[ALEKSANDRA]
If she hadn’t been watching him as closely as she was, she would have missed the sudden tightening of his mouth. It was an expression he made often, though it gave her no true insight to his thoughts. It wouldn’t surprise her if that subtle hardness was due to the fact she was dripping rain on his floor – he took his work seriously, and this studio was a part of him, after all. Clamping down on the desire to suddenly grip her shirt, pull it off, and wring it out right in front of him, she instead clutched her journal tighter. The words within seemed to burn through the cover and into her hand, reminding her.
“Thank you.” The response was automatic and lacking the usual warmth she graced him with. It was if the light had been leeched from her, leaving her nothing more than a shell of the woman she once was. It wasn’t just the death of her father that left her reeling, but the man in front of her. He was the most confusing, insufferable, intense man that she had ever met, and he constantly left her balancing on the edge of insanity. If he realized the affect he had on her, he didn’t care. That was all it came down to, it was written in a bold, deep scrawl in the pages of her notebook, and it was glaring at her now.
He didn’t care.
As if wanting to drive the point home, his question hung between them. In another state of mind, she would have found his form of the question endearing. If it hadn’t been aimed at her, about her father, she might have teased him. Instead, she gave a bitter laugh and finally unwound her arms, holding them out at her sides. “Does it really look like it went well, Blaize? I mean, seriously.” Her wild emotions had her accent growing thick, and as she pushed her hands through her hair, she forced herself to follow.
“He was alive long enough to see me walk through the door, and you never called.”
[BLAIZE]
“I ah…no,” he said, chewing at the inside of his lip as he found the cupboard, opened it, and pulled out one of the fluffy white towels. Did he even know who washed these? Who brought them back every day, neatly folded as if this were a five-star hotel? Probably Laura. He made a mental note to thank her. The towel fell out of its folds as he held it out to Aleksa, his other hand held out, palm up, for her to put the book into. If she wanted to. He could take it off her hands if she wanted to dry herself.
“I…” he started to tell her that he had things going on, that he was barely in the state of mind to call her. But he caught himself just in time. It would be equally – if not more – insensitive than asking if she had an umbrella. He couldn’t offer excuses, couldn’t pretend his problems were worse than hers. Even if he, too, had nearly ended up dead.
“I’m sorry,” he said, finally. “For your father. And for not calling,” he said. He wanted to ask her if she was okay, but the answer was standing right in front of him. No, he wouldn’t be asking that question, either. There wasn’t much more that he could say, or do. Was there? She had come to him. Was it for comfort or condolence? He was so unpractised at both. Care was not something he was accustomed to, and was not something he knew how to show. It should have come naturally, shouldn’t it? And yet, Blaize remained stunted.
[ALEKSANDRA]
For a moment, she thought about handing him the book, allowing the cover to fall open, and revealing the words written within. The desire lasted an entire second before she turned and tucked the book into one of the cupboards as slender fingers quickly pulled the towel from his grasp. Lifting it to her face, she hid her features within the comforting white, her eyes closing as she fought to control her emotions. A breakdown was on the horizon, threatening to take her over until she was a quivering mess.
She couldn’t allow that to happen.
Even though she didn’t need to breathe, she pulled air into her lungs and ran the towel through her hair, tired eyes landing once more on his as he stumbled to apologize. She had hoped to hear something more, to know that the dark thoughts plaguing her mind were a lie, but it appeared that wouldn’t happen. Instead, he was further driving the point home – she wasn’t important. “Don’t apologize,” she muttered, fingers deftly working the towel through her hair. “It’s my fault for not realizing the truth sooner. I mean, you did practically write it in the skyline. You don’t care about me.”
The moment the words were breathed into the world, she closed her eyes and dropped the towel. Her other hand pulled the notebook from the cupboard, fingers clutching it so tight, the cover bent. “You saved my life; you don’t owe me anymore than that, right?”