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{ever after}
Posted: 12 Oct 2016, 01:06
by Marisol
OOC wrote:This journal belongs to Marisol, and unless you have permission otherwise, any information found within is completely out of character knowledge. Her journal is not dated, rather subjected with song titles of songs stuck inside her head. Found within a deep red leather notebook, Marisol's thoughts are hidden away in her bedside table.
Re: {ever after}
Posted: 12 Oct 2016, 01:08
by Marisol
The air begins to feel a little thin,
As I start the car and then I begin;
To add the miles piled up behind me,
I barely feel a smile deep inside me.
Twenty-One Pilots, A Car, A Torch, A Death.
Logan’s dead. The reality of it all still hasn’t set in. I can still feel his blood on my skin, the pain of the gunshot in my stomach. I remember the realization beginning to set in that I was dying. I remember texting Jesse and Clover, I remember asking for this fate. There’s a burning sensation that is constant in the back of my throat, a hassle that I suppose is better than the alternative.
I look like a corpse within mirrors.
My skin isn't as tan as it was before I died and my tan lines are fading, as small as they were. In the mirror, there's a blue tint to it, to my lips. I never can tell if they are like this in reality so lipsticks and stains are the regular. My face is sunken in, I look exhausted and tired on the regular. I wonder if I may ever be able to fix this issue.
All in all, I attract more attention to myself. Feeding from humans is difficult and I now understand why Logan chose to do things the way he did. But, I do not feel like bashing a man or woman over the head every time I wish to get rid of this burning sensation. I seem more irritable, too. So far, the throat lozenges I choose are of some help, but not much.
Ciao.
Re: {ever after}
Posted: 13 Oct 2016, 18:58
by Marisol
My eyes are closing and I'm scared,
cause I only dream of you.
You're a beautiful nightmare,
and nothing can wake me up from you.
Skylar Grey, Beautiful Nightmare.
I went to see Jesse today, I asked him to meet me at Serpentine. A lot of it was because I have questions. Why does my throat burn, how long has he been this way? Those are just the beginning of it all. Part of me wonders how long we will survive as a race. I’ve met hunters and avoided them.
This is all just a hassle, the fear that people create.
Humanity has been dying long before vampires came out of the shadows, or were forced I suppose. Logan explained everything but I didn’t pay him much mind. I was usually too busy cleaning up his messes or working with the businesses.
Ciao.
Re: {ever after}
Posted: 13 Oct 2016, 18:59
by Marisol
It ain't my fault you came here looking like that,
You just made me trip, fall, and land on your lap;
Certain bad boy smooth, body hotter than the sun,
I don't mean to be rude but I look so damn good on ya.
Zara Larrson, Ain’t My Fault .
I forgot about the auction that Logan set me up for. The man he had me escort was awful, but at least the night didn't turn out too terribly. I met another created by Jesse, one who met Logan. Rhett Keyes. It was a bit of a disappoint to hear that such a handsome man seemed reluctant with his own marriage, but who am I to judge?
My former master had called the two a perfect couple. The vibe I felt from the man was less than that. We went out after a while and went back to my place. We talked… And honestly it was nice. He didn’t try anything or see me as a piece of meat. We talked about his marriage, his dreams, my dreams. About Fforde, and I danced about the topic of Logan.
We spoke about what we wanted for our futures, and about what we wanted for tomorrow. Any and all topics friends would touch. I offered to aid him with his new business, as well. It helps, really. I did it for Logan, so might as well continue when I’m not hacking or working at SMI.
I’m thinking of going back into event planning.
Before I knew it, though, it was close to sunrise and I offered him the couch, gave him my blanket and then we went to bed separately. I left him my number on a piece of paper the next evening and went to work. So far between him and Jesse, at least I have two friends.
I suspect Clover hates me for Logan’s death. I don't think she realizes I hate Mariah for it.
I never did win that bloody sculpture, but at least I got a painting and a cute guy as a friend.
Ciao.
Re: {ever after}
Posted: 24 Oct 2016, 11:41
by Marisol
I'll give you one last chance to hold me,
if you give me one last cigarette.
By now it's early in the morning,
now that I gave you what you want,
all I want is to forget.
Avril Lavigne, Give You What You Like.
I remember the night I met you. You were this... unbelievable sight, I remember falling under your spell. I was a model, naive and searching for a new agent. I never had a chance, did I? The moment your blue eyes looked into mine, I was trapped into your web. I sold my soul to the devil that night. It's something I don't like to remember, the kiss that you tricked me with. I still don't understand how that worked, the sudden desire to listen to you and obey every little order.
Laundry, running errands, dealing with that psycho ***** of a wife. You used me more like a secretary, a maid. And the worst bit? I helped clean up after the murders that you carried out. I listened to their screams, their pleading while you would break bones and rearrange their bodies. All of them would look like your wife. Mariah.
I hate you.
That emotion has still yet to fade.
I hate that you introduced me to this... what was a nightmare. Vampires, I still wish I was ignorant about it. I don't understand any of it, but I kept the notes that you took. The ones left behind in the apartment. I redecorated, by the way. That painting I hated was a lovely addition to my fireplace.
I hate you.
You didn't give me a chance to die for you. I was your thrall, a pet of your own words. I don't understand why you did it. I can still feel your blood on my skin, hear your voice in my ears. The gunshot adds to my dreams.
I hate that for some reason, you felt that I should have lived.
You had your family.
I was living a lie.
Is Hell a fitting place for you, amour? You were never going to Heaven, Logan.
Ciao.
Re: {ever after}
Posted: 28 Dec 2016, 12:55
by Marisol
You're my angel without wings
Don't need them we're high enough
You're flying above me
I'll keep looking up
You are my angel, my angel
I'll keep looking up
Saving Abel, Angel Without Wings.
Things with Rhett are going well. I can't say that I've been any happier in the past. And, speaking of the past, I spoke of a bit of my past with Jerkface (as Jesse will now be referred to as, with affection). He seems to be worried I'll disappear like the rest of them. Unfortunately, he has another thing coming.
Ciao.
Re: {ever after}
Posted: 30 Nov 2017, 00:00
by Marisol
So tell me you love me, come back and haunt me,
Oh, when I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing in tails
Coming back as we are.
Coldplay, The Scientist
I have such a massive headache. I don't know what's more significantly inclined to be the reason why. Raven, the hunter that shot me, or Hudson.
Raven needs to leave Fforde. I do not understand why Jesse hasn't removed such a worthless piece of space. She claims that she respects Clover, but I do not see it. I do not believe it. She never has anything useful to contribute to the line and constantly mocks Jesse. Personally, I think the ***** should die and never return. Granted, in due time, she'll disappear as she always does.
She's never around long.
I actually believe the gunshot to be the lesser of headaches.
Hudson is the personality that has taken over Rhett. I don't think it would be such a severe difference if he weren't like the guys I've dated in the past. I know where that leads, how hurt I always ended up feeling in the end. I sit here at my computer desk trying to think of ways to get Rhett back to his usual self, but I feel it will never be the same.
He returns after a while, usually unaware of what trouble Hudson has gotten into.
The last two times, it hasn't been too massive.
He feeds on humans, something Rhett does not. But the differences in the two are quick to catch on. Rhett is kind and does not speak in vulgar ways. It's not that I believe he can't, he just doesn't. He's a gentleman, it's one of the things I appreciate the most of him, even more so after dealing with his obnoxious other half.
Hudson is crude, vulgar, and his mannerisms are meager at best. I think he knows I won't shoot him simply because he shares the same face.
I did send insects after him.
I don't know what else to do.
The more I write, the more I feel better. It seems Hudson is certainly the massive cause of my anger.
He sired a man named Beckett, who turned another named Renard. Beckett seems to be level headed and polite, but Renard speaks every now and then on the board.
I think this time, I'm just going to give Rhett a folder of everything that Hudson has said, perhaps just hand him my tablet and queue it up. I do think that I might need a vacation after this time around. I need to stop by RetroKade and make sure that Hudson hasn't burned the bloody building down. The arsehole seems he would be the type to pull that ****.
On a good note, Mariah is somewhat useful. She found Beckett and Renard.
She bitched about it the entire time through our shared link, but I suppose it could be worse. She could use it to agitate me like I did so much to Logan, arguing about freewill and all.
I miss Cole and the perky niceness that she held, but she sent me an email the other night. She hasn't found her family, but she found someone who had known them in the past. It's a start. I need to look in some of the other files I've extracted from the military servers.
Chrys is having issues with her husband. I don't know why.
She's calling again.
Ciao.