Q & A

[Levi DAmico]

Location: Levi D’Amico’s office, Levitan Headquarters
Date: 05 August 2016
Time: 21:00
Attendees: Levi D’Amico & Shirosame Hiroumi
Situation: Tense
Condition: Slightly drunk

---

Shiro: Are you sure you want to do this now?

Levi: Yeah, why?

Shiro: I’m just asking if you’re sure. You have a habit of running away when I ask questions you don’t want to answer.

Levi: *arching a brow*

Shiro: You do, though.

Levi: Give me one example where that has happened.

Shiro: Alright. Last Christmas. I asked you about… actually, never mind.

Levi: *growls, then takes a shot of cinnamon whiskey*

Shiro: Forget I said anything.

Levi: Just ask your ******* questions already, Jaws.

Shiro: Ok. So. I’m going to start off by asking all those stupid Hollywood questions… to get them out of the way.

Levi: Fine. Whatever.

Shiro: Ok then. Number one—

Levi: Number one? Seriously? Are you working off a ******* list?

Shiro: Well, yes. Of course I am. I wrote them down here. *waves a piece of paper, double-sided with notes*

Levi: *sigh* Brillante…

Shiro: Right. So, question number one: do you drink blood?

Levi: I thought I answered that already.

Shiro: Well, answer it again.

Levi: *another sigh* Do I drink blood. No. Not unless I have to.

Shiro: So… yes.

Levi: I don’t often have to. That’s like asking me if I take antibiotics. Saying no means I never have and never will, whereas saying yes makes me a drug abuser.

Shiro: I know it was a broad question, but there are addendums. You’re just too impatient to wait for them.

Levi: *growls* Fine then. Ask your stupid addendum questions.

Shiro: *smirks* Alright. When you say you ‘have to’, what does that mean?

Levi: For me, it means… Well, it’s kinda like medicine. Or gas. Electricity. You need it when you need it. When you’ve run out or lost it.

Shiro: And how do you run out or lose it?

Levi: When the engine’s running. When the engine gets damaged. **** like that.

Shiro: And how often does that happen?

Levi: Depends. Sometimes **** just happens.

Shiro: And… how do you know when you need to… err… top up the tank?

Levi: The same way you know you need extra gas in your car, or… if the lights start blinking. There’s signs. You know.

Shiro: So it’s not like hunger?

Levi: Not for me.

Shiro: But maybe for others?

Levi: Don’t know. Don’t ask. Don’t care.

Shiro: Oh yeah, that’s right… you’re an asshole.

Levi: Exactly. Moving on.

Shiro: Fine. Fine. Question two. Shot number two… for me. In your case, probably about five.

Levi: Probably. *drinks*

Shiro: *drinks and gasps* Urg. Ok. *coughs* So, how did you become… I mean, what happened to make you… Who did…?

Levi: ******* hell, Shiro. Just get on with it.

Shiro: You know what I’m asking, so, just answer it. How did it happen? When?

Levi: June 27 2014. But I don’t know the exact details of what happened to make me… this.

Shiro: That was the visit with the Calabrians.

Levi: Yeah.

Shiro: The one I told you not to go to.

Levi: I don’t take orders from sharks. Anyway. Yeah. I went in and found them dead. Not shot up like you’d expect from warfare. Someone had hacked them to pieces. I went into investigate and found… her.

Shiro: Her?

Levi: Yeah. The ***** responsible for… *gestures at himself* this.

Shiro: So what are the terms for that? Most of my research comes back with labels like sire/childe and master/servant.

Levi: Yeah, no.

Shiro: So the woman who did… this to you. She’s technically your… sire?

Levi: *grousing* Technically.

Shiro: And what does that mean? Is it like a family tree? She did… whatever… to make you… this. And now you’re part of a family?

Levi: That’s what they seem to think, yeah. It’s strangely like what we’re used to. You’re brought in, initiated, and then you’re the next branch on the family tree. I hear they do a kind of blood exchange too, to make it work, but it’s like I said. I don’t know the details. Obviously it’s something a bit more… influential than what we’re used to. I didn’t ask. Wasn’t interested. And frankly, there’s not a lot of people I trust to give me a straight-up answer.

Shiro: Well, if they’re anything like our Families, I can’t say I’m shocked.

Levi: *shrugs a shoulder* Most I’ve met seem to not have much of a clue themselves. They didn’t ask for this, but they’re stuck with it. I think the people that I would even care to talk to would tell me they’re just trying to make the best of things now.

Shiro: You make it sound like a disease… *makes a disgusted face*

Levi: It ain’t that fun.

Shiro: Yeah. I can’t say your temperament has improved any.

Levi: You’ll know it when I’m not happy, Shiro. The room tends to go… funny.

Shiro: *arches a brow* Define: funny.

Levi: The lights flicker. Room darkens. Shakes. Like a miniature, isolated earthquake. Brittle things tend to break or explode around me when I’m angry.

Shiro: Remind me not to make you angry, Dr Banner.

Levi: **** off, nerd.

Shiro: *laughing* Hey, you got the reference.

Levi: That’s because you don’t shut up and I absorb far too much information.

Shiro: Sure. That’s why.

Levi: I really don’t get what you’re implying.

Shiro: Oh, nothing. Just that you’re superhuman now, so, you’ve been reading up on that stuff. I wouldn’t say superhero, but… you’re super something. You can make the room react to your emotions for ****’s sake…

Levi: That’s not all I can do.

Shiro: Oh?

Levi: Mmhmm.

Shiro: …

Levi: …

Shiro: Well go on then.

Levi: What?

Shiro: Tell me what else you can do.

Levi: Ain’t that going off script a bit? Pretty sure you have to ask me if the sun burns, if garlic is a turn-off, and if I can still step on holy ground.

Shiro: Ok, first of all, I already know you’re a shitty morning person. Secondly, you’re Italian so that naturally overrides any adverse effects from garlic. And finally, you wouldn’t step foot on holy ground to begin with, so that’s beside the point.

Levi: *smirks* True.

Shiro: So tell me.

Levi: It’s a long list, Shiro.

Shiro: *holds up the paper again* So’s this.

Levi: *exasperated laugh*

Shiro: Show or tell. Your choice.

Levi: I really don’t think you’d like what you’d see.

Shiro: Ugh… *takes another shot, coughs* Stop being so ******* coy, Levi.

Levi: Can’t. Force of habit.

Shiro: Well… un-habit… it.

Levi: That’s a great use of English there, Jaws.

Shiro: Shut up.

Levi: I thought you just said you wanted me to talk?

Shiro: Stop deflecting. Talk about what you can do. Nothing else. I want to know what kind of… super powers the new Hulk has.

Levi: We are not calling me that.

Shiro: Well… we can figure out your superhuman name when you tell me more about your… abilities. That’s generally how it works.

Levi: I don’t need a superhuman name.

Shiro: Maybe not, but, it’s fun to call you names…

Levi: *glares*

Shiro: Ok, ok. Just, get on with it.

Levi: Fine. But you won’t believe half the ****.

Shiro: And that’s when you’ll have to show me.

Levi: I don’t think I can show you a lot of it. You’ll just have to trust me. Like… seeing ghosts, for instance. Can’t prove that.

Shiro: *dead-pan* What?

Levi: Yep.

Shiro: So… like… apparitions?

Levi: Aye.

Shiro: That’s actually ******* creepy. *rubs the chill from his arms* And when you see them, do they just… walk around. Like… regular people?

Levi: More like float, but, yeah.

Shiro: And… do they know they’re dead? *starts to snigger*

Levi: *arches a brow* I feel like you’re doing a thing.

Shiro: *smirks* Just answer the question.

Levi: They know they’re dead, Shiro.

Shiro: Can they… talk?

Levi: I think so. There’s different kinds, so, it’s hard to say.

Shiro: *blinks*

Levi: Yeah… Complicated ****. Let’s leave that one there.

Shiro: F-Fine by me. Next super power.

Levi: *rolls eyes*

Shiro: OH! I know what I wanted to ask. *takes another shot* Do… Yuck. Do you get, like, super senses, speed, strength, and all… and all that?

Levi: I think you need to stop drinking.

Shiro: Oh just answer the question, jack-***.

Levi: Yes.

Shiro: So… is this whole conversation like… really loud to you?

Levi: Well, you’re loud in general, but… conveniently, I can filter all that. It’s funny how it seems to be more like instinct than anything else. Like how a bird can spot prey from miles up, but still retain the ability to see **** close up. Your body kinda… does it all for you.

Shiro: That’s handy.

Levi: Yep.

Shiro: So what about a pulse, breathing, eating… and etc. *blushes slightly*

Levi: That’s a matter of willpower, I reckon. I don’t really know how to describe it, but, I’m definitely not Human anymore. I don’t follow the same laws of physics that I used to. It’s like… they don’t apply to me if I can figure out a way to stop them from applying. Or… I dunno. I’m not a physicist. Maybe we’re not outside the laws of physics, but, we just have a different effect on it. Maybe we’ve got a way to arrange the universe’s molecular structure somehow, interrupt energy waves or whatever. My knowledge on the subject is extremely limited. I can tell you vaguely what I am, but I can’t explain why.

Shiro: *frowning* Like what? Give me an example.

Levi: My body ain’t… real. I mean, it is and it ain’t. I don’t even bleed normally. It’s like someone replaced my blood with dark matter. And this substance, once outside my body, seems to leak back into the universe like the blackness of space retreats from the light. It literally changes its physical properties, defies gravity, a lot of weird **** and I can’t tell you why or how it is the way it is.

Shiro: And you’re all… like this? *gestures at him*

Levi: No. Not all of us. We seem to have different abilities and properties, like sub-species. From what I can make out, we come in six flavours. And yet, despite there being six different sub-species, we can learn from each other. I just so happen to come from the one where black is the new black.

Shiro: Ok, ok. Slow down. I’m lost. So… As a species, you come in six types. You’re effectively born into one of the six types?

Levi: Highly over-simplified I’m sure, but yeah. That’s the gist of it.

Shiro: Do these types have names?

Levi: There’s a whole language built around this ****, yeah.

Shiro: So… can you help me out here or what?

Levi: I can name ****, I’m just not sure it’ll help matters. These types, sub-species, they refer to them as Paths. An old-timey label, something that you might appreciate from your gay little video games.

Shiro: So they’re like disciplines, in a way?

Levi: Probably. Each Path represents certain personality and physical traits, it also affects what super powers you can learn.

Shiro: *laughs* This must really piss you off.

Levi: I’m not overly fond of all this ********, no.

Shiro: Ok. So, which Path do you belong to? What’s it called? What are the characteristics?

Levi: *sighs* This is already boring the crap out of me, Shiro.

Shiro: I don’t care. It’s interesting to me. And I need to know.

Levi: Why?

Shiro: Really? *glares* Honestly, Levi. I don’t think I could even spell it out to you at this rate. You seem to just want to refuse to know.

Levi: *arches a brow*

Shiro: Just answer the ******* question. *folds arms and pouts*

Levi: My Path is called the Shadow. Probably on account of how I can manipulate darkness, shadows. I mentioned the black blood thing, the dark matter pumping through my veins, the fact that I’m not really here. Well, there you go. Highly over-simplified, unexplainable ******** that barely says a damn thing about anything and just raises more questions.

Shiro: …

Levi: *sighs* Happy?

Shiro: No.

Levi: You ever happy?

Shiro: Sometimes.

Levi: You sure that ain’t just wind?

Shiro: *glares*

Levi: *sneers*

Shiro: Could ask you the same question, jack-***.

Levi: Well, *looks around* the room’s in one piece, so, I ain’t unhappy.

Shiro: *grumbles, eyes on his list* You must go through a lot of ******* light bulbs… Anyway. Next question.

Levi: Drink first.

[Levi DAmico]

They share a round of Fireball shots before the questions continue

---

Shiro: So question… whatever the **** number we are on…

Levi: *shrugs*

Shiro: Do you have… fangs?

Levi: Yes…

Shiro: Why’d you answer it like that?

Levi: Just… a weird ******* thing to ask someone.

Shiro: Vampires have fangs…

Levi: Yeah, but then they also have capes and turn into bats and… **** like that too.

Shiro: I was getting there.

Levi: I don’t have a cape. I don’t turn into a bat.

Shiro: I guess that crosses those off the list. *smirks* So what about a… familiar?

Levi: Ain’t that just witches?

Shiro: I don’t know. Some Vampires have familiars, depending on the tale. Take Igor from Dracula, for example.

Levi: Uh, I think that’s something else…

Shiro: Can you do that? Make someone your mindless Zombie slave then?

Levi: Yes, and no.

Shiro: *blinks* Say what?

Levi: I can make someone my slave. I can summon Zombies. But the abilities don’t cross over.

Shiro: I feel like you’re ******* with me right now.

Levi: Well, I ain’t. Scout’s honour and all that.

Shiro: You can only say that if you were legitimately a scout. Either way, I still don’t believe you.

Levi: Listen, **** head. I ain’t summoning a Zombie into my office just to please you.

Shiro: More like, you can’t.

Levi: More like, if I do, I’d let it ******* eat you.

Shiro: *laughs* What else can you summon? Anything non-lethal?

Levi: No, probably not. Except maybe some ghosts, but, you won’t see them anyway so it’s kinda ******* pointless.

Shiro: How about flying?

Levi: *quirks a brow*

Shiro: I imagine that’s just for those that can turn into bats?

Levi: I’m not really into bats.

Shiro: *stares* Wait. Are you saying you can turn into things, just not bats?

Levi: Yep.

Shiro: Yakamashii… No ******* way.

Levi: I **** you not.

Shiro: Fuzakeru na…

Levi: English, Shiro.

Shiro: … Sorry. So, what can you turn into?

Levi: A few things.

Shiro: Are any of them a decent, honest, lovable person?

Levi: No. *smirks* Believe it or not, it gets worse than this.

Shiro: *cackles* There’s a joke in there that you wouldn’t get.

Levi: *frowns*

Shiro: “This isn’t even my final form!” *rolls back in his seat, laughing*

Levi: You are such a ******* light-weight. *smirks*

Shiro: And you’re a miserable ********, but, I don’t go pointing it out.

Levi: I take it you forgot the last five seconds of this conversation.

Shiro: That wasn’t about you being a miserable ********. That was about you being a grumpy ********, which is totally different.

Levi: Uh huh.

Shiro: Ok, next question. When you go out in the sun, and don’t hit me, but do you… sparkle?

Levi: That’s a Twilight thing, right?

Shiro: You really need to brush up on popular culture. I’m serious. This could be life or death for you now.

Levi: I don’t ******* sparkle.

Shiro: Good because I’d have to disown you.

Levi: Hang on, I’ve got an addendum.

Shiro: Excuse me?

Levi: I only sparkle when I’ve been to a strip club and they’ve been rubbing on me for a few hours.

Shiro: *glares* Have I mentioned I hate you?

Levi: Not during this particular conversation, but, you’ve definitely said it once or a thousand, million times.

Shiro: Good.

Levi: *smirks* Next question.

Shiro: Are you immortal or can I kick the crap out of that table, file down one of the legs, and then stab you through the heart?

Levi: Theoretically you could. Realistically? I’d kill you before you even touched my table. I like that table.

Shiro: It doesn’t have to be the table.

Levi: *shrugs* Won’t necessarily kill me anyway. Last time I ‘died’ was two years ago. Apparently I am both resilient and able to return when I do, in fact, ‘die’.

Shiro: That is really, seriously, terribly disappointing. You have no idea how sad that makes me. That I can’t just murder you and have you disappear forever.

Levi: Aww. Must suck to be you right now… not to mention everyone who has met me.

Shiro: I won’t touch the pun, but, yes.

Levi: Good.

Shiro: So… will you age?

Levi: No idea. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. With your Asian genes and my supposed immortality, we can make bets on who looks old first.

Shiro: I have a feeling you will lose. *grins*

Levi: You might be right about that. Ok, time for more drinks. I sober way too ******* quickly.

Shiro: *grumbles and takes another shot* Urg… it tastes like Christmas and fire…

Levi: *smirks and takes a shot as well*

Shiro: Do you heal quickly then? Like, a cut will zip closed like it wasn’t even there? How far does it extend, I mean, can you recover… body parts?

Levi: I heal quicker than you, but, it tends to leave a scar or some kind of mark. And yeah, I’m like a ******* giving tree. Cut off an arm and it’ll grow back.

Shiro: I’m pretty sure that story has zero relation to your regenerative parts.

Levi: Probably not. Ruin the imagery though why don’t you.

Shiro: Well, I’m so sorry that your poorly designed simile sunk on the oceans of reality. Truly.

Levi: Apology accepted.

Shiro: Asshole.

Levi: Have you run out of questions yet?

Shiro: Not even close.

Levi: *sighs* Great. Can we move on?

Shiro: Fine. Let’s move on to… *checks the list* casting shadows and reflections.

Levi: Yes, to the first – with effort. No, to the second, which is a rather ******* huge issue, might I add.

Shiro: Ok, hang on. Why ‘with effort’ do you cast a shadow, but, no reflection regardless? Why wouldn’t you cast a reflection? That doesn’t make any sense.

Levi: Because despite beliefs that I have a dark soul full of soot and malevolence, apparently I have no soul at all so it don’t cast a reflection. *shrugs* I don’t know Shiro. That’s just how it ******* works. Maybe because I can bend light into matter for people to see, but for some fucked up reason, the mirrors can’t reflect that light back and form a reflection.

Shiro: … Right.

Levi: Like I said, I ain’t a physicist.

Shiro: Me either. Ok, next question: do you need an invitation to enter houses?

Levi: Yes, and I don’t much understand how that works either.

Shiro: Maybe it’s magic.

Levi: *arches a brow*

Shiro: Really. You’re going to look at me like that when you’re the Vampire. Really.

Levi: I don’t believe in magic, Shiro.

Shiro: How can you not believe in magic after everything you’ve just said?

Levi: Because I’m not an idiot. Look, mankind’s been putting the magic label on everything he can’t explain since the dawn of time. And when the magic label wasn’t good enough, he put the God label on it. I don’t see any difference here. Just because I don’t know, or you don’t know, or anyone in the world doesn’t know the answer to why **** is the way it is, it doesn’t mean it’s ******* magic.

Shiro: Fine, so… As a Vampire, you’re just really ******* polite and it prevents you from entering places without an invitation?

Levi: Go **** yourself, Shiro.

Shiro: *smirks* Alright, moving on. I’m assuming this is a pointless question because I doubt even God himself would be able to stop you, but, here goes… *sigh* Are you warded off or hurt by holy objects?

Levi: Other than making my skin crawl on a personal note, no.

Shiro: Mmhmm. Are you prevented from crossing bodies of water?

Levi: No.

Shiro: Ok, next question. Bear with me… Are you compelled to stop and count things?

Levi: What, like my bank balance? *smirks*

Shiro: Ha, ha, very funny. Seriously, it’s a thing.

Levi: It’s a thing to count **** as a Vampire. *dubious brow lift*

Shiro: Yep. Apparently if you lay out a trail of poppy seeds, or whatever, a Vampire will be compelled to stop and count them. In Chinese folk law, people used to lay out grains of rice to occupy the Vampires all night, to stop them from terrorising their villages.

Levi: Good thing they have a lot of rice.

Shiro: I’m pretty sure that’s racist.

Levi: You reckon?

Shiro: Yes. It’s definitely racist.

Levi: *shrugs* I’ve said worse.

Shiro: Undoubtedly…

Levi: I’ve said worse to my mother… *murmurs*

Shiro: Ok, moving on! We’re going back to your super powers.

Levi: The following questions are going to bore the crap out of me again, aren’t they.

Shiro: Maybe, but, that’s why we have this. *shakes the bottle of alcohol before passing it over*

Levi: Fine. *drinks a shot* Shoot.

Shiro: Can you read minds?

Levi: Sure. You’re thinking… I must have been really charitable, a saint actually, in my former life to have the pleasurable company of such a handsome, intelligent man.

Shiro: *straight-faced* So, no. No you can’t read minds.

Levi: Huh… I just figured everyone thought that.

Shiro: No. Just you.

Levi: Come back to me in two years or something and we’ll see.

Shiro: Yeah, no. Moving on.

Levi: Be right with you. *takes another shot of cinnamon whiskey*

Shiro: Well, I know you can still drink judging by tonight and… other nights. But what about food? I haven’t seen you eat anything in like… forever. Figure that means you don’t cook anymore either.

Levi: Ain’t got a reason to cook. *shrugs* I can eat, but, it all tastes bland. Like nothing. So what’s the point.

Shiro: But you can still get drunk and that’s the point, right?

Levi: Right.

Shiro: So what about poisons and getting sick?

Levi: Not sure. I don’t think anyone’s tried to poison me. I know, that’s a shock to me too. And I don’t get sick much. You know me, the only problems I have are the nerves. *flexes a fist*

Shiro: So your nerves still bother you, and you can feel pain.

Levi: **** yes. Still feels like my skin’s on fire half the time.

Shiro: That’s a shame. Guess you have to compromise somewhere.

Levi: Mmhmm, but there’s a lot of compromising.

Shiro: Like what?

Levi: Well, I spent a year not being able to stay conscious when the sun rose.

Shiro: Oh. Well, that explains a lot.

Levi: Yep.

Shiro: All those times I called you and you never answered or wasn’t at the office… and you were sleeping.

Levi: It wasn’t sleeping. I think it was more like death caught up to me.

Shiro: Right… So, how did you kick that habit?

Levi: Got older, got stronger, learned a few neat tricks. Now the sunlight doesn’t even bother me. Well, besides a little bit of smouldering in direct contact.

Shiro: *laughs* I imagine that goes for when you step inside a church too.

Levi: … Which movie are you referencing now?

Shiro: Well, there’s Eddie Murphy’s A Vampire in Brooklyn that comes to mind. Speaking of which, can you like… steal people’s faces? I mean, disguise yourself as other people?

Levi: You need to stop watching so many movies…

Shiro: Just answer the question, jack-***.

Levi: Kinda, but for some reason I’m only able to take on certain faces, and I have to be standing in front of them in order to do it.

Shiro: Wow… Please don’t ever demonstrate that.

Levi: *quirks a brow*

Shiro: Never mind. I feel like… Well. Like, overall, you exist to murder everything. You know, judging by your particular set of skills.

Levi: Which is different to how I was before… how exactly?

Shiro: Fair point.

Levi: So are we done here?

Shiro: I don’t know. A lot of my questions are rudimentary now that I have a few insights.

Levi: Good.

Shiro: But, I think the question remains about just what you’re going to do now that you’re… exposed.

Levi: Ain’t no point keeping up a pretence to those that matter, but, I’m not gonna go hollering from the rooftops about what I am.

Shiro: Are we going to tell the minions?

Levi: Probably. Don’t know yet. Was thinking that the last thing I want happening is for the Family to find out, but… I figure if Gino knows, and he’s planning to kill us off, I don’t know how effective it’s gonna be to hide. You know me, I’m a fire vs fire kinda guy.

Shiro: Yeah… especially when it comes to Gino, apparently.

Levi: Meaning?

Shiro: Nothing.

Levi: Uh huh.

Shiro: Anyway. I think we’ll be better off discussing this particular issue when I’m not tipsy.

Levi: *laughs* That’s probably for the best. We gonna at least finish the bottle though, yeah?

Shiro: Provided we don’t make any ground-shattering decisions as we do, I think we can allow ourselves a little time to get drunk-er.

Levi: I think the word you were looking for was ‘sure’.

Shiro: Sure, then!

Levi: *sneers and tops up their glasses*