Torn Asunder Part 1 [Velveteen]
Posted: 30 Mar 2016, 04:20
<Trahir Trahison> Standing on the bridge looking over the river Trahir was as still as a statue with a torn sheet of parchment, made from human skin in his right hand.. The wind whipped at his trench coat and the paper hard enough to make the heavy material billow out, dragged in the wake of both wind gusts and the rarer passing of vehicles zooming through the night on their way to whatever petty destination their usually human occupants directed them. The river was a black serpent winding its way through the heart of the city, the moon glistening off it’s choppy surface beneath him as though glinting from reptilian scales. Trahir liked the view. The reptilian, cold, dark appearance of the water before him was for some reason a comfort to him. A herpetology hobbyist, he had long enjoyed all things reptilian. Snakes, crocodilians, lizards, even the mythological dragons of legend. He preferred the European dragons to the Oriental of course. They tended to act more as a reptile would act in his estimation, apart from capturing human females and falling in love. That part he disregarded as the pathetic attempt of humans to assert their own relevance into the truth of things. That they were nothing but a meal food for the real predators of the world, largely insignificant.
It was the same way they saw themselves in stories about vampires. An aged immortal who lost his love would be pining away for centuries, waiting for the soul of his dead love to return to him in the young and flawless body of a human female. She would meet this romantic figure and instantly their souls would connect. She would become his world and he would give her immortality.
Really when Trahir looked at the fittest and finest of the human population he saw the equivalent of a perfectly cooked steak. They were simply food. When he was not hungry they were to be ignored unless they crossed him. When he was hungry they were cows to be slaughtered. Like any predator he took what he needed. Like any good conservationist he used everything he could from the animal.
Like any good reptile, he felt nothing but the satisfaction of a full belly afterward.
He had met Velveteen at the shores of this river after the grand opening of Aysel and Zakar’s Middle Eastern themed bar. He had drowned a Paladin in it’s waters and later crucified the man in the fields to the south of his farmhouse for Dominique to find. He had sailed it’s murky depths on his boat and had plunged into its waters to avoid Fae that were chasing him. The river held a place in his heart, as black and shrivelled and unbeating as that heart may be.
If his eternity had to be spend in the all-too-coarse and unrefined locale of Harper Rock, in the northern reaches where reptiles were at best, sparsely populated, at least he could have the comfort of the river. From this vantage point he could see the park where he had as a frightened neonate (had he truly been frightened?) met his then soon-to-be Sire alone for the first time. He had been wary, he had heard of the faction she led. They killed other Kindred and here he was alone, no sire to teach him.
She had taken him in. She had adopted both he and his grandchilde Corentine, given them a home in the Hotel, aided them. Trahir was uncertain how his short Requiem would have played out without the aid of the goth woman but he was certain he would be nowhere near his current, rather enviable level of wealth or have caught on so quickly as to how to build up his own preternatural abilities. He knew he would eventually have gotten there but the timeframe would have been much much more… tedious.
Most of the others had disliked him from the beginning. He was blunt, hard-headed, quick to argue if he disagreed with another’s views and had no shame in his own activities. He was Trahir Trahison. He would do as Trahir Trahison wished to do within the confines of the Masquerade and those rules he saw fit to follow and no one but Trahir Trahison had the right to judge him. The only ones who had that right had given it up, one on the night he was created and the other when she turned her back on him. No one had to like him and truth be told very few if any of them knew him enough to truly form much of an opinion about him. He had gone to a few events and the rest of the opinions had been formed from Crownet.
Crownet was a sore spot. He had disagreed with a pet projects of one of his sire’s pets publically and they had fallen out over the matter. Since then Trahir had barely posted. The incident had been one of the main reasons for the rift between them. She had favored the insignificant one over him. Trahir couldn’t see why other that both enjoyed wearing make-up. More than a few times Trahir had heard that the one she favored clung to the coat-tails of greatness. His former wife, Phoenix, now Velveteen. Trahir had no time for hangers-on. Trahir respected the individual merits of a vampire. He’d spoken to the man, as well as a few others personally in the Old Town Cemetery and found the man rather… affected. A follower trying to lead.
As much as he belittled the situation in his mind it genuinely bothered the Killer. He’d been told he had so much “potential” but at every turn he felt as though he’d been thrown under the bus by those who had squandered their own.
He had kept the piece of his journal on him since the night he had written it. He read it every few days. His opinions hadn’t changed. If this meeting went through with Velveteen he would do as he intended, as he had told her and then he would give her the parchment and leave. It could only go one of three ways
She could be incensed at his audacity and call a blood hunt to track him down and send him to the Shadow Realm. If that was the case then he had sorely misjudged the woman from the start though it wouldn’t surprise him in the least given that hunting their own kind (or even the thought of such) gave many of their numbers an erection they likely couldn’t achieve as a mortal.
She could be indifferent, uncaring and simply disregard the writings. That would leave them as they were now. They had basically made a clean break on all personal fronts. Aside from minor business dealings indirectly through means such as the auction house Trahir had seen hide nor hare of his former instructor of all things vampire. That was the current situation, the status quo.
Or lastly, she would see things from his side. He’d not expressed them at the time to her, preferring to slink off into the shadows alone but for the one person who had not turned their back on him. Dominique. He didn’t count Nicolette. He knew given the chance for freedom and the opportunity she would be back in Paris months ago.
He holds the page in his balled up fist and watches water flow by, uncaring toward the plight of himself or any other being, mortal or otherwise.
<Velveteen> It had been a while since she had last seen or even thought of Trahir Trahison. He had become just another of her failures. Her inability to somehow hang on to those she gathered, turned or adopted, became more obvious as the years had passed. When things went as they did with Trahir she had decided that perhaps he would be the last. She had a faction she was responsible for and an ever growing line that she was a part of. Plenty to keep her busy and bury the feelings of failure and disappointment each time she thought on those she had lost.
She had half expected to see him at the auction so when he finally did appear she wasn’t particularly surprised though he remained much quieter than the last time but again she barely gave it a thought as she continued through the evening. His presence though had certainly affected Micah and she could feel the anger that came from her husband the moment that Trahir entered. All she could do was hope that they could get through the night without incident. It almost happened.
She could feel him close by as she mingled after the auctions were over and to say that it was creeping her a little was a bit of an understatement but still she ignored it until he finally spoke. He had requested to speak with her, with them both, and for the last couple of nights since Micah had not spoken to her due to the fact that she had accepted. It would have been easier to deny the request and continue on as is but that he asked at all made her curious...considering their last encounter. Trahir was more than well aware of her feelings towards his choices. The sooner it was done the sooner she could get things worked out with Micah and possibly have a viable reason for going against him though she doubted it.
She could see his silhouette easily as she wound her way up onto the bridge. Hands stuffed deep in her pocket as she approached in silence and stood beside him. Her silver gaze looked over the river as the woman stood rather stoically taking in the view. “So what exactly is this about, Trahir.” She didn’t have the inclination or the time to **** around with subtleties and small talk and she expected neither did he.
T: He felt her. The movement in his peripheral vision could have been anyone, anything. He knew it wasn’t though. It was Velveteen. He inhaled a breath as she approached, not bothering to exhale it. The purpose of the breath wasn’t to carry oxygen into his system, to refuel the lungs and charge the blood in his arteries to carry it through his circulatory system, to slowly deplete it of said oxygen and lug it back through the lungs to recharge it once more… no. It was simply to talk. The only reason the vampire needed to bother with the whole process of drawing breath.
“Before I apologize, you should read this. It will upset you.” He extends his right hand, still curled in a hard-made fist around the paper he holds. Not paper, not really, but that was the use he’d chosen for it.
<Velveteen> If what he said had any effect on her visibly she did not show it. Being upset was something that Velveteen was rather used to. But then...who knew what was contained on the page he now held for her take. Maybe it wouldn’t be that upsetting. One could only be upset if they cared and she found herself more and more resistant to giving into caring for much of anything these nights outside of those most important to her. She reached out to take the page, having no idea what would be contained within its confines but curious none the less.
<Trahir Trahison> His hand relaxes as hers draws near. His fingers uncurling to allow her smaller hand to take from his which no doubt it could simply have broken to claim. Trahir hasn’t moved his eyes from the water’s sparkling surface. His muted emotions are a dull rumble within his chest. He can remember the first time alone with Velveteen, fear, panic. It’s not like that but at the moment it may as well be. Very few people, mortal or otherwise gain any reaction from the stoic Killer other than either a haughty dismissal or a violent retribution. This is not a normality for him though. This is Velveteen.
The page in her hand, once opened and read will reveal the following:
I wonder after these last few months if I made the right decisions. The world has become a puzzle of sorts and it is not fitting together as I have been led to believe. The pieces are falling into place but it is not the same picture on the box so to speak.
Who I choose to hunt with, who I choose to share my haven with, who I choose to do anything with so long as it does not violate the Masquerade or Sire more problems... is, has and always will be my choice.
I wonder if any of those so fervently against my chosen interactions with Dominique would have neatly turned their backs on their mate at the word or another. If so then I agree that vampires do not mate. They playact at high school human relationships. The pander to the crowd. Alas, I do not remember my own high school years so I suppose the fine art of "vampire love" is lost on me. Perhaps I should read more romance novels.
I spent much of my time in the early nights wallowing in memories. Memories I gave up, scoured from my mind. It kept me to myself and for the most part I made it through each night will no loss or gain.
I met and joined up with my sire and started feeling like I was not alone. That perhaps I would have a purpose.
I'm not sure that was the case. Each and every time I have made a decision on my own, be it putting a fellow vampire out of its misery when limbless and in public to stop humans from finding it to my selection of a mate based on what I consider to be my requirements have been met with derision or outright hostility.
Even terminology I use causes friction.
It seems that if every action I take is not carefully and meticulously orchestrated by others, no one is happy. I had planned a few things to try and alleviate some of the tedium and wished to discuss them with my sire and her husband but when they came to the soiree I had planned to share my thoughts at they disregarded everything except my chosen mate and spent the entire time they were there cursing and insulting her.
She had been a hunter. A paladin. She was brought over to this life by a vampire I have nothing but respect for and who is in their faction... he is as close as family. She had an inauspicious start to her life as a vampire, staying the course as a paladin and going so far as taking their leader as a lover.
Where others scream traitor for that I scream steadfast loyalty. Misguided steadfast loyalty to be sure but definitely loyalty.
While others seem to believe that her actions warrant destruction, a sentiment I shared until recently, I see something else. I see a vampire with all the knowledge in the world about one of our enemies. I see a vampire who has slowly come around making up her own mind to do so and not simply following the masses. I see a vampire who clung to that which they knew in life as I have seen many others do. They let it go in their own time as many others do. She follows the rules now as many others do. I begin to wonder if the hatred has less to do with her past than it has to do with control.
This animosity toward me for choosing her as mine is groundless. Her sire was not ostracized for the turning, the teaching, the harboring of her which goes on even to this night.
Is a fourth grade student an adequate teacher for first grade classes? One has more knowledge than the other, true but are they a qualified teacher? I wonder if any of those so verbal in their defense of the schools, which wasn't much of a defense, more of an attack on me on every other aspect of my life, would have as a mortal, entrusted their children to a school with such... stringent teaching requirements.
I give an opinion that newborns to something are invalid teachers... the idea is met with hostility and my name outed. By family. Attached to my handle by the one vampire I completely trusted. Of course one of the schools faced an earlier accusation of being a training camp for the faction the owner belongs to. A notion that was offhandedly dismissed and yet when the school is questioned it was primarily members of that faction who leaped to the defense of the school as though it was a personal attack upon them. Oftentimes I have said, when detractors launch accusations that there is an agenda other than protection of secrecy at play, that I have seen nothing to show that is the case. I said that factions activities were neutral.
I was so wrong. The school is obviously being protected by a faction. Therefore it is likely a resource of said faction and not at all neutral.
I believe it comes down to control.
Initially when Corentine and I were engaged I was told if we were to have a marriage done by family it would be done on their time. That was a source of hostility thereafter between Corentine and myself as she told me I was being used as a puppet.
The message: You do things on our schedule, not your own.
My response: Agreeing to whatever delay would suit the family views and hushing Corentines protests.
The result: Corentine and I no longer speak, she seems to have disappeared.
I was reprimanded by a pro-tem leader for doing my job without permission. This decision of course backed by the true leader, my Sire.
The message: Hit when we tell you to. Do not think for yourself.
My response: Leaving the faction.
The result: Personal liberty. I do miss the hunts but that matters little in retrospect.
Currently the city is not a safe place for us. Those vampires Sired in the last four years are directly responsible for that being the case. The elders tried to teach them and the new guard wouldn't listen. The city is slowly growing in awareness each passing year. With that being to case why do any of the vampires turned in this span think they have the answer? Who is to say they are not a direct part of the problem and that by opening these schools they do not perpetuate the very issues plaguing our kind?
Amusing though that when a young vampire comes forward asking questions about the school, seeking answers, they are told to stand down and then behind closed doors deemed a "pissant" who should be "squashed." I wonder if that opinion of knowledge seeking neonates will be the prevailing attitude within the school as a rule of thumb.
When I elected to ask the qualifications of the owners of these schools to teach others, I am dismissed, my identity outed by family, met would outright hostility with talk of bloodshed.
The message: Don't question us, just do what we say, think what we think.
My response: None. How does one respond to such gross and outright betrayal?
The result: Threats of violence, situation left unresolved. Nothing positive came of this.
When I choose my mate I am threatened again. I say mate for that is what Jane is. We are not lovers, I do not love. We are mates. When I think of her I think of tearing into her, biting through soft flesh to get to the blackness within her. Sex is not a driving factor, it is the blood. Sex is a reaction to the lust caused by the blood. She is my partner and my mate. More my mate as we are not running a business together.
Yet that isn't the reaction toward her sire. I wonder if they would have cast such horrendous verbal abuse at her had he been there. Likely not. They respect him. Me? No.
The message: No respect.
My response: I'm through. There is obviously nothing to learn past pulling a weapon and shooting a problem. The lack of respect? It's mutual after these occurrences.
The result: That remains to be seen.
Thus far weighing pros and cons leaves the list with very little in the positive column and a large ever growing negative column as far as my interactions with Andras as a whole.
I'll be much better off sticking to those few I consider likeminded. Those who can cogently and coherently debate and think through differences of opinions and come to an agreement based on mutual respect paired with intellect.
I need a clean break from those trying to control every action I take. Jane doesn't attempt to control me. She is the better option for me.
I was told to find a place once. Find a place and dig your roots in deep. The place I thought those roots would grow was barren. I believed I was following an ideal, but it ends up it is simply a cult of personality that I was being governed by. A family would not so quickly resort to even considering violence over a member having an opinion or asking questions. They may bar the door to an unwelcome significant other, or mate as I prefer but they would not ostracize a member for that choice without giving the relationship a chance.
The roots could not take hold and were torn easily from the deficient soil.
I plan on going ahead with Elysium...
I will host a monthly salon at a private residence where all vampires are welcome. This night the building will be protected by the Eirene's Will ritual to prevent violence.
A vampire can socialize at Elysium through intellectual and peaceful debates. Snarky comments there are fine. Violence and the threats of it will simply be berated and the person won't be invited back the next month. All opinions will be allowed to be voiced, discussed and debated over without the threat of being shot for free thinking or debate.
From those that choose to attend I will make my own circle of alliances. I can't say friends in all honesty because I have been taught so recently that the bonds between our kind are cheap and easily cast aside. Easily mouthed platitudes. Respect does not truly exist if the appearance of conflict between family members meets the appearance of force so readily.
Welcome to Harper Rock.
OOC Note: This is the missing page from “Scattered Thoughts”
Trahir stands in mute anticipation of her reaction to the perusal of his own feelings on everything that happened being laid bare. He doesn’t know what the right answer for anything is and he hopes that the older vampire, even in by only a few paltry years, does.
The river looks no warmer now than it did when he arrived on the bridge an hour ago.
<Velveteen> The dark haired vampire used the light of the moon and a nearby street light , more than enough illumination, to bring to life the neatly scrawled words that filled the page from edge to edge. There was no reaction to a single thing she read and in all honestly she saw even remotely surprised her. It was everything she had come to expect from the male. The page was then casually turned toward him as she held it heavily in two fingers, much like one would a dollar bill when waiting for it to be taken in return for goods or services rendered. “Do you feel better?”
<Trahir Trahison> “No, not at all.” He reaches out, finally tearing his eyes from the majesty of the Algonquin River to those of his adopted sire’s eyes. “No, I feel at a loss actually. I feel as though everything has crumbled beneath me, I am hanging on a precipice above a vast open chasm and only one hand is there to aid me in my ascent.”
He reaches out for the leaf of mummified human skin with the too-neat writing on it, grasping the corner of the document but not retrieving it.
“I need your guidance. There are troubles brewing.”
<Velveteen> Once it appeared that he had a hold on the page she released her own tenuous grip and snuck both hands into her jacket pocket and for the briefest moment a slight grin curled at the corner of her mouth. “The same guidance you have as much said was only about controlling you?” She turned her silver gaze then to meet his. “What could be so possibly so wrong that Mr Know it All Trahison can’t handle on his own?” There was nothing spiteful about her tone despite the words, if anything one might have touched upon a curious hint of amusement in the lilt of her voice but that would be all.
<Trahir Trahison> Unaccustomed to being called out on his own words for a long moment the Killer just stares at Velveteen in mute surprise. His expression barely changes though one eyes does twitch slightly. Perhaps it is an effect of the fluctuation from the light of the moon being reflected from the water’s surface. More than likely not since trahir himself feels the small movement.
Taking a second to compose himself he tucks the paper into the inner pocket of his long, wind-molested coat before speaking. His gaze never once wavering from those silver eyes.
“Yes. The same Mr. Know-it-all is in over his proverbial head. There are plans among some of our brethren and among some mortals to make a move against the military forces at the Quarantine Zone. They are many, I am one. They seek to drive the military out but I fear that their impending actions will only cement in the minds of the mortal government the need to secure the city further. I’m a pessimist. Also I never should have turned my back on you. I should have contacted you privately about any issues we had over different incidents and we should have spoken of them over a glass of Innocence.”
<Velveteen> “You know you are being as arrogant as ever.” She turned her gaze out toward the river once more. “Though you are probably right. Their actions probably will do that. But why do you care? You of all people know what it is like to have your actions impeached upon and questioned. What makes you think you are now in a position to do it to anyone else?” Again there was no malice in her question, if anything her lack of care would like stir questions of it own. But a little more every night Velveteen was hedging towards the edges of her care limits. No fucks outside of her immediate zone were being given and that also went for the whole ideal of vampire secrecy and all that went along with it.
<Trahir Trahison> He wanted to grab the smaller vampires shoulders and shake her. He knew the results of doing so. A head or back first plunge into the icy waters of the river below followed quickly by a hunt that no doubt would conclude before he managed to even swim to shore. Instead of setting of that particular chain of events Trahir watched as she spoke, counted mentally to ten and then responded.
“Everything we do, good or bad echoes throughout our kind. When one is seen by a human and they become a hunter, we all suffer for it. When one agrees to attack the Canadian government we all will face the consequences. There’s not a tree house or a farm large enough to protect our kind from that type of exposure no matter how well protected.”
He turns his eyes back out to the river. “I attended the meeting out of curiosity. Everyone wore masks. As far as I know I was not appraised during it. It would be possible for a male, large in build and wearing a similar disguise and using the same name, to infiltrate the group.”
He glances over to see if his words garner any reaction from Velveteen at all.
<Velveteen> If he was looking for a reaction then he was not disappointed as the woman burst out laughing. “Did you just say they were wearing masks? Oh..oh please tell me they had tights and capes as well. Actually..no. Please don’t tell me that even if they do. Masks. Infiltrating the military.” She tried to stop laughing but was unable to stop the absurdity from bubbling to the surface. “Well. They sound ******* scary. Were you scared? I think you should have been scared. So….masks. They use aliases too? Let me guess...badass code names to make themselves sound cool? Sounds like some bad movie. Just saying.” She chuckled again and shook her head. “Well….just when you think you have seen and heard it all some ******* gronk comes along and proves you wrong.”
She shook her head and while the laughter had stopped it was obvious that she was not going to be able to take the rest of this conversation seriously. “So what do you really want from me, Trahir. To fly in in my invisible plane and hog tie them all with my golden lasso?”
<Trahir Trahison> He would have smiled, even laughed along had the matter not been so dire. The fact that Hallowe’en costumes were considered a security measure was exactly the problem with the plan of the newly founded faction. “No. I want you to protect that which you have always protected. I want you to act on this information and realize that the more stupid their plan sounds, the worse the situation is. They plan on infiltrating the guards of the Quarantine Zone. They plan on trying to run them off. Even if their plans had a hope of success they would need to enthrall the Prime Minister and have him issue the order to withdraw the troops. They are talking about a course of action without bloodshed that will make the military leave. One that can’t possibly work and can only get at least a couple of them caught while bumbling around in restricted areas.”
He turns back toward the river once more. The passing cars again throwing enough wind to tug at his jacket, sending it flowing out in it’s wake. Next time there was a meeting at a bridge it would be at the top, away from the traffic.
“If they actually had a solid workable plan I might not consider it such a threat to our kind.”
<Velveteen> The vampire couldn’t help the short, snide snort of distaste that escape her before she could even consider restraining it. “I’m not even sure I have it in me to bother any more, Trahir. And what did that stuff that you showed me have to do with any of this. I don’t get it. Everything you had a problem with is really no different to how others view it….any of it. What you now deem as protection is seen as many as just us controlling them. The same way you felt it seems. Or it different now because you say so?”
She turned to him then, her head canted to the side as she looked up at him, the male seemingly a little taller than she remembered. “You don’t get it, Trahir and I fear you likely never will and that is always going to create a problem for you. Unless they become an obvious threat to me or mine I don’t really see what I can do, or why I would even want to at this stage.” She brought a hand up to drag her finger across her face and in turn removed the tendril of hair that had been whipped across her features by another passing car. “Sometimes the only thing you can do is sit back and watch it all burn then rebuild from the ashes. Perhaps that time is coming.”
It was the same way they saw themselves in stories about vampires. An aged immortal who lost his love would be pining away for centuries, waiting for the soul of his dead love to return to him in the young and flawless body of a human female. She would meet this romantic figure and instantly their souls would connect. She would become his world and he would give her immortality.
Really when Trahir looked at the fittest and finest of the human population he saw the equivalent of a perfectly cooked steak. They were simply food. When he was not hungry they were to be ignored unless they crossed him. When he was hungry they were cows to be slaughtered. Like any predator he took what he needed. Like any good conservationist he used everything he could from the animal.
Like any good reptile, he felt nothing but the satisfaction of a full belly afterward.
He had met Velveteen at the shores of this river after the grand opening of Aysel and Zakar’s Middle Eastern themed bar. He had drowned a Paladin in it’s waters and later crucified the man in the fields to the south of his farmhouse for Dominique to find. He had sailed it’s murky depths on his boat and had plunged into its waters to avoid Fae that were chasing him. The river held a place in his heart, as black and shrivelled and unbeating as that heart may be.
If his eternity had to be spend in the all-too-coarse and unrefined locale of Harper Rock, in the northern reaches where reptiles were at best, sparsely populated, at least he could have the comfort of the river. From this vantage point he could see the park where he had as a frightened neonate (had he truly been frightened?) met his then soon-to-be Sire alone for the first time. He had been wary, he had heard of the faction she led. They killed other Kindred and here he was alone, no sire to teach him.
She had taken him in. She had adopted both he and his grandchilde Corentine, given them a home in the Hotel, aided them. Trahir was uncertain how his short Requiem would have played out without the aid of the goth woman but he was certain he would be nowhere near his current, rather enviable level of wealth or have caught on so quickly as to how to build up his own preternatural abilities. He knew he would eventually have gotten there but the timeframe would have been much much more… tedious.
Most of the others had disliked him from the beginning. He was blunt, hard-headed, quick to argue if he disagreed with another’s views and had no shame in his own activities. He was Trahir Trahison. He would do as Trahir Trahison wished to do within the confines of the Masquerade and those rules he saw fit to follow and no one but Trahir Trahison had the right to judge him. The only ones who had that right had given it up, one on the night he was created and the other when she turned her back on him. No one had to like him and truth be told very few if any of them knew him enough to truly form much of an opinion about him. He had gone to a few events and the rest of the opinions had been formed from Crownet.
Crownet was a sore spot. He had disagreed with a pet projects of one of his sire’s pets publically and they had fallen out over the matter. Since then Trahir had barely posted. The incident had been one of the main reasons for the rift between them. She had favored the insignificant one over him. Trahir couldn’t see why other that both enjoyed wearing make-up. More than a few times Trahir had heard that the one she favored clung to the coat-tails of greatness. His former wife, Phoenix, now Velveteen. Trahir had no time for hangers-on. Trahir respected the individual merits of a vampire. He’d spoken to the man, as well as a few others personally in the Old Town Cemetery and found the man rather… affected. A follower trying to lead.
As much as he belittled the situation in his mind it genuinely bothered the Killer. He’d been told he had so much “potential” but at every turn he felt as though he’d been thrown under the bus by those who had squandered their own.
He had kept the piece of his journal on him since the night he had written it. He read it every few days. His opinions hadn’t changed. If this meeting went through with Velveteen he would do as he intended, as he had told her and then he would give her the parchment and leave. It could only go one of three ways
She could be incensed at his audacity and call a blood hunt to track him down and send him to the Shadow Realm. If that was the case then he had sorely misjudged the woman from the start though it wouldn’t surprise him in the least given that hunting their own kind (or even the thought of such) gave many of their numbers an erection they likely couldn’t achieve as a mortal.
She could be indifferent, uncaring and simply disregard the writings. That would leave them as they were now. They had basically made a clean break on all personal fronts. Aside from minor business dealings indirectly through means such as the auction house Trahir had seen hide nor hare of his former instructor of all things vampire. That was the current situation, the status quo.
Or lastly, she would see things from his side. He’d not expressed them at the time to her, preferring to slink off into the shadows alone but for the one person who had not turned their back on him. Dominique. He didn’t count Nicolette. He knew given the chance for freedom and the opportunity she would be back in Paris months ago.
He holds the page in his balled up fist and watches water flow by, uncaring toward the plight of himself or any other being, mortal or otherwise.
<Velveteen> It had been a while since she had last seen or even thought of Trahir Trahison. He had become just another of her failures. Her inability to somehow hang on to those she gathered, turned or adopted, became more obvious as the years had passed. When things went as they did with Trahir she had decided that perhaps he would be the last. She had a faction she was responsible for and an ever growing line that she was a part of. Plenty to keep her busy and bury the feelings of failure and disappointment each time she thought on those she had lost.
She had half expected to see him at the auction so when he finally did appear she wasn’t particularly surprised though he remained much quieter than the last time but again she barely gave it a thought as she continued through the evening. His presence though had certainly affected Micah and she could feel the anger that came from her husband the moment that Trahir entered. All she could do was hope that they could get through the night without incident. It almost happened.
She could feel him close by as she mingled after the auctions were over and to say that it was creeping her a little was a bit of an understatement but still she ignored it until he finally spoke. He had requested to speak with her, with them both, and for the last couple of nights since Micah had not spoken to her due to the fact that she had accepted. It would have been easier to deny the request and continue on as is but that he asked at all made her curious...considering their last encounter. Trahir was more than well aware of her feelings towards his choices. The sooner it was done the sooner she could get things worked out with Micah and possibly have a viable reason for going against him though she doubted it.
She could see his silhouette easily as she wound her way up onto the bridge. Hands stuffed deep in her pocket as she approached in silence and stood beside him. Her silver gaze looked over the river as the woman stood rather stoically taking in the view. “So what exactly is this about, Trahir.” She didn’t have the inclination or the time to **** around with subtleties and small talk and she expected neither did he.
T: He felt her. The movement in his peripheral vision could have been anyone, anything. He knew it wasn’t though. It was Velveteen. He inhaled a breath as she approached, not bothering to exhale it. The purpose of the breath wasn’t to carry oxygen into his system, to refuel the lungs and charge the blood in his arteries to carry it through his circulatory system, to slowly deplete it of said oxygen and lug it back through the lungs to recharge it once more… no. It was simply to talk. The only reason the vampire needed to bother with the whole process of drawing breath.
“Before I apologize, you should read this. It will upset you.” He extends his right hand, still curled in a hard-made fist around the paper he holds. Not paper, not really, but that was the use he’d chosen for it.
<Velveteen> If what he said had any effect on her visibly she did not show it. Being upset was something that Velveteen was rather used to. But then...who knew what was contained on the page he now held for her take. Maybe it wouldn’t be that upsetting. One could only be upset if they cared and she found herself more and more resistant to giving into caring for much of anything these nights outside of those most important to her. She reached out to take the page, having no idea what would be contained within its confines but curious none the less.
<Trahir Trahison> His hand relaxes as hers draws near. His fingers uncurling to allow her smaller hand to take from his which no doubt it could simply have broken to claim. Trahir hasn’t moved his eyes from the water’s sparkling surface. His muted emotions are a dull rumble within his chest. He can remember the first time alone with Velveteen, fear, panic. It’s not like that but at the moment it may as well be. Very few people, mortal or otherwise gain any reaction from the stoic Killer other than either a haughty dismissal or a violent retribution. This is not a normality for him though. This is Velveteen.
The page in her hand, once opened and read will reveal the following:
I wonder after these last few months if I made the right decisions. The world has become a puzzle of sorts and it is not fitting together as I have been led to believe. The pieces are falling into place but it is not the same picture on the box so to speak.
Who I choose to hunt with, who I choose to share my haven with, who I choose to do anything with so long as it does not violate the Masquerade or Sire more problems... is, has and always will be my choice.
I wonder if any of those so fervently against my chosen interactions with Dominique would have neatly turned their backs on their mate at the word or another. If so then I agree that vampires do not mate. They playact at high school human relationships. The pander to the crowd. Alas, I do not remember my own high school years so I suppose the fine art of "vampire love" is lost on me. Perhaps I should read more romance novels.
I spent much of my time in the early nights wallowing in memories. Memories I gave up, scoured from my mind. It kept me to myself and for the most part I made it through each night will no loss or gain.
I met and joined up with my sire and started feeling like I was not alone. That perhaps I would have a purpose.
I'm not sure that was the case. Each and every time I have made a decision on my own, be it putting a fellow vampire out of its misery when limbless and in public to stop humans from finding it to my selection of a mate based on what I consider to be my requirements have been met with derision or outright hostility.
Even terminology I use causes friction.
It seems that if every action I take is not carefully and meticulously orchestrated by others, no one is happy. I had planned a few things to try and alleviate some of the tedium and wished to discuss them with my sire and her husband but when they came to the soiree I had planned to share my thoughts at they disregarded everything except my chosen mate and spent the entire time they were there cursing and insulting her.
She had been a hunter. A paladin. She was brought over to this life by a vampire I have nothing but respect for and who is in their faction... he is as close as family. She had an inauspicious start to her life as a vampire, staying the course as a paladin and going so far as taking their leader as a lover.
Where others scream traitor for that I scream steadfast loyalty. Misguided steadfast loyalty to be sure but definitely loyalty.
While others seem to believe that her actions warrant destruction, a sentiment I shared until recently, I see something else. I see a vampire with all the knowledge in the world about one of our enemies. I see a vampire who has slowly come around making up her own mind to do so and not simply following the masses. I see a vampire who clung to that which they knew in life as I have seen many others do. They let it go in their own time as many others do. She follows the rules now as many others do. I begin to wonder if the hatred has less to do with her past than it has to do with control.
This animosity toward me for choosing her as mine is groundless. Her sire was not ostracized for the turning, the teaching, the harboring of her which goes on even to this night.
Is a fourth grade student an adequate teacher for first grade classes? One has more knowledge than the other, true but are they a qualified teacher? I wonder if any of those so verbal in their defense of the schools, which wasn't much of a defense, more of an attack on me on every other aspect of my life, would have as a mortal, entrusted their children to a school with such... stringent teaching requirements.
I give an opinion that newborns to something are invalid teachers... the idea is met with hostility and my name outed. By family. Attached to my handle by the one vampire I completely trusted. Of course one of the schools faced an earlier accusation of being a training camp for the faction the owner belongs to. A notion that was offhandedly dismissed and yet when the school is questioned it was primarily members of that faction who leaped to the defense of the school as though it was a personal attack upon them. Oftentimes I have said, when detractors launch accusations that there is an agenda other than protection of secrecy at play, that I have seen nothing to show that is the case. I said that factions activities were neutral.
I was so wrong. The school is obviously being protected by a faction. Therefore it is likely a resource of said faction and not at all neutral.
I believe it comes down to control.
Initially when Corentine and I were engaged I was told if we were to have a marriage done by family it would be done on their time. That was a source of hostility thereafter between Corentine and myself as she told me I was being used as a puppet.
The message: You do things on our schedule, not your own.
My response: Agreeing to whatever delay would suit the family views and hushing Corentines protests.
The result: Corentine and I no longer speak, she seems to have disappeared.
I was reprimanded by a pro-tem leader for doing my job without permission. This decision of course backed by the true leader, my Sire.
The message: Hit when we tell you to. Do not think for yourself.
My response: Leaving the faction.
The result: Personal liberty. I do miss the hunts but that matters little in retrospect.
Currently the city is not a safe place for us. Those vampires Sired in the last four years are directly responsible for that being the case. The elders tried to teach them and the new guard wouldn't listen. The city is slowly growing in awareness each passing year. With that being to case why do any of the vampires turned in this span think they have the answer? Who is to say they are not a direct part of the problem and that by opening these schools they do not perpetuate the very issues plaguing our kind?
Amusing though that when a young vampire comes forward asking questions about the school, seeking answers, they are told to stand down and then behind closed doors deemed a "pissant" who should be "squashed." I wonder if that opinion of knowledge seeking neonates will be the prevailing attitude within the school as a rule of thumb.
When I elected to ask the qualifications of the owners of these schools to teach others, I am dismissed, my identity outed by family, met would outright hostility with talk of bloodshed.
The message: Don't question us, just do what we say, think what we think.
My response: None. How does one respond to such gross and outright betrayal?
The result: Threats of violence, situation left unresolved. Nothing positive came of this.
When I choose my mate I am threatened again. I say mate for that is what Jane is. We are not lovers, I do not love. We are mates. When I think of her I think of tearing into her, biting through soft flesh to get to the blackness within her. Sex is not a driving factor, it is the blood. Sex is a reaction to the lust caused by the blood. She is my partner and my mate. More my mate as we are not running a business together.
Yet that isn't the reaction toward her sire. I wonder if they would have cast such horrendous verbal abuse at her had he been there. Likely not. They respect him. Me? No.
The message: No respect.
My response: I'm through. There is obviously nothing to learn past pulling a weapon and shooting a problem. The lack of respect? It's mutual after these occurrences.
The result: That remains to be seen.
Thus far weighing pros and cons leaves the list with very little in the positive column and a large ever growing negative column as far as my interactions with Andras as a whole.
I'll be much better off sticking to those few I consider likeminded. Those who can cogently and coherently debate and think through differences of opinions and come to an agreement based on mutual respect paired with intellect.
I need a clean break from those trying to control every action I take. Jane doesn't attempt to control me. She is the better option for me.
I was told to find a place once. Find a place and dig your roots in deep. The place I thought those roots would grow was barren. I believed I was following an ideal, but it ends up it is simply a cult of personality that I was being governed by. A family would not so quickly resort to even considering violence over a member having an opinion or asking questions. They may bar the door to an unwelcome significant other, or mate as I prefer but they would not ostracize a member for that choice without giving the relationship a chance.
The roots could not take hold and were torn easily from the deficient soil.
I plan on going ahead with Elysium...
I will host a monthly salon at a private residence where all vampires are welcome. This night the building will be protected by the Eirene's Will ritual to prevent violence.
A vampire can socialize at Elysium through intellectual and peaceful debates. Snarky comments there are fine. Violence and the threats of it will simply be berated and the person won't be invited back the next month. All opinions will be allowed to be voiced, discussed and debated over without the threat of being shot for free thinking or debate.
From those that choose to attend I will make my own circle of alliances. I can't say friends in all honesty because I have been taught so recently that the bonds between our kind are cheap and easily cast aside. Easily mouthed platitudes. Respect does not truly exist if the appearance of conflict between family members meets the appearance of force so readily.
Welcome to Harper Rock.
OOC Note: This is the missing page from “Scattered Thoughts”
Trahir stands in mute anticipation of her reaction to the perusal of his own feelings on everything that happened being laid bare. He doesn’t know what the right answer for anything is and he hopes that the older vampire, even in by only a few paltry years, does.
The river looks no warmer now than it did when he arrived on the bridge an hour ago.
<Velveteen> The dark haired vampire used the light of the moon and a nearby street light , more than enough illumination, to bring to life the neatly scrawled words that filled the page from edge to edge. There was no reaction to a single thing she read and in all honestly she saw even remotely surprised her. It was everything she had come to expect from the male. The page was then casually turned toward him as she held it heavily in two fingers, much like one would a dollar bill when waiting for it to be taken in return for goods or services rendered. “Do you feel better?”
<Trahir Trahison> “No, not at all.” He reaches out, finally tearing his eyes from the majesty of the Algonquin River to those of his adopted sire’s eyes. “No, I feel at a loss actually. I feel as though everything has crumbled beneath me, I am hanging on a precipice above a vast open chasm and only one hand is there to aid me in my ascent.”
He reaches out for the leaf of mummified human skin with the too-neat writing on it, grasping the corner of the document but not retrieving it.
“I need your guidance. There are troubles brewing.”
<Velveteen> Once it appeared that he had a hold on the page she released her own tenuous grip and snuck both hands into her jacket pocket and for the briefest moment a slight grin curled at the corner of her mouth. “The same guidance you have as much said was only about controlling you?” She turned her silver gaze then to meet his. “What could be so possibly so wrong that Mr Know it All Trahison can’t handle on his own?” There was nothing spiteful about her tone despite the words, if anything one might have touched upon a curious hint of amusement in the lilt of her voice but that would be all.
<Trahir Trahison> Unaccustomed to being called out on his own words for a long moment the Killer just stares at Velveteen in mute surprise. His expression barely changes though one eyes does twitch slightly. Perhaps it is an effect of the fluctuation from the light of the moon being reflected from the water’s surface. More than likely not since trahir himself feels the small movement.
Taking a second to compose himself he tucks the paper into the inner pocket of his long, wind-molested coat before speaking. His gaze never once wavering from those silver eyes.
“Yes. The same Mr. Know-it-all is in over his proverbial head. There are plans among some of our brethren and among some mortals to make a move against the military forces at the Quarantine Zone. They are many, I am one. They seek to drive the military out but I fear that their impending actions will only cement in the minds of the mortal government the need to secure the city further. I’m a pessimist. Also I never should have turned my back on you. I should have contacted you privately about any issues we had over different incidents and we should have spoken of them over a glass of Innocence.”
<Velveteen> “You know you are being as arrogant as ever.” She turned her gaze out toward the river once more. “Though you are probably right. Their actions probably will do that. But why do you care? You of all people know what it is like to have your actions impeached upon and questioned. What makes you think you are now in a position to do it to anyone else?” Again there was no malice in her question, if anything her lack of care would like stir questions of it own. But a little more every night Velveteen was hedging towards the edges of her care limits. No fucks outside of her immediate zone were being given and that also went for the whole ideal of vampire secrecy and all that went along with it.
<Trahir Trahison> He wanted to grab the smaller vampires shoulders and shake her. He knew the results of doing so. A head or back first plunge into the icy waters of the river below followed quickly by a hunt that no doubt would conclude before he managed to even swim to shore. Instead of setting of that particular chain of events Trahir watched as she spoke, counted mentally to ten and then responded.
“Everything we do, good or bad echoes throughout our kind. When one is seen by a human and they become a hunter, we all suffer for it. When one agrees to attack the Canadian government we all will face the consequences. There’s not a tree house or a farm large enough to protect our kind from that type of exposure no matter how well protected.”
He turns his eyes back out to the river. “I attended the meeting out of curiosity. Everyone wore masks. As far as I know I was not appraised during it. It would be possible for a male, large in build and wearing a similar disguise and using the same name, to infiltrate the group.”
He glances over to see if his words garner any reaction from Velveteen at all.
<Velveteen> If he was looking for a reaction then he was not disappointed as the woman burst out laughing. “Did you just say they were wearing masks? Oh..oh please tell me they had tights and capes as well. Actually..no. Please don’t tell me that even if they do. Masks. Infiltrating the military.” She tried to stop laughing but was unable to stop the absurdity from bubbling to the surface. “Well. They sound ******* scary. Were you scared? I think you should have been scared. So….masks. They use aliases too? Let me guess...badass code names to make themselves sound cool? Sounds like some bad movie. Just saying.” She chuckled again and shook her head. “Well….just when you think you have seen and heard it all some ******* gronk comes along and proves you wrong.”
She shook her head and while the laughter had stopped it was obvious that she was not going to be able to take the rest of this conversation seriously. “So what do you really want from me, Trahir. To fly in in my invisible plane and hog tie them all with my golden lasso?”
<Trahir Trahison> He would have smiled, even laughed along had the matter not been so dire. The fact that Hallowe’en costumes were considered a security measure was exactly the problem with the plan of the newly founded faction. “No. I want you to protect that which you have always protected. I want you to act on this information and realize that the more stupid their plan sounds, the worse the situation is. They plan on infiltrating the guards of the Quarantine Zone. They plan on trying to run them off. Even if their plans had a hope of success they would need to enthrall the Prime Minister and have him issue the order to withdraw the troops. They are talking about a course of action without bloodshed that will make the military leave. One that can’t possibly work and can only get at least a couple of them caught while bumbling around in restricted areas.”
He turns back toward the river once more. The passing cars again throwing enough wind to tug at his jacket, sending it flowing out in it’s wake. Next time there was a meeting at a bridge it would be at the top, away from the traffic.
“If they actually had a solid workable plan I might not consider it such a threat to our kind.”
<Velveteen> The vampire couldn’t help the short, snide snort of distaste that escape her before she could even consider restraining it. “I’m not even sure I have it in me to bother any more, Trahir. And what did that stuff that you showed me have to do with any of this. I don’t get it. Everything you had a problem with is really no different to how others view it….any of it. What you now deem as protection is seen as many as just us controlling them. The same way you felt it seems. Or it different now because you say so?”
She turned to him then, her head canted to the side as she looked up at him, the male seemingly a little taller than she remembered. “You don’t get it, Trahir and I fear you likely never will and that is always going to create a problem for you. Unless they become an obvious threat to me or mine I don’t really see what I can do, or why I would even want to at this stage.” She brought a hand up to drag her finger across her face and in turn removed the tendril of hair that had been whipped across her features by another passing car. “Sometimes the only thing you can do is sit back and watch it all burn then rebuild from the ashes. Perhaps that time is coming.”