Make me bleed the universe and gears ((Jesse))

[Ursula Wolfe]

From the moment that Ursa had left Kaelyn's Valentine party, Ursa had holed herself up in a corner of Limbo, just sitting there, leaning against one of the walls. Inside, her heart felt like it was shattered into pieces. Outside, anything living was slowly wilting around her, usually she was able to keep that particular curse at bay, but with Jordan missing and hope growing thin that he would ever return to her, she was unable to hold back the darkness inside her. Her blue eyes were trained on the wood floor beneath her, her hands just resting on her legs as if she were meditating, but she wasn't she was just empty in side. Empty, cold, dark... Jordan had been her light, her happiness. He was gone.

Her eyes closed and she lowered her head more so. She should have been happy yesterday, to be around family, to even be invited to a party, she should have been able to dance and party with her family. And she had tried, she really had. However, as everyone started to couple up, she was quickly reminded that once again she was alone. Every couple had been mostly focused on their other, she had no one to focus on, had no one to focus on her - well, her sister had tried, coming to her, reminding her that she was loved, but while her sister loved her, that hole in her unbeating heart was growing and growing without Jordan to hold it shut for her.

Seeing everyone hugging, kissing, able to be happy with one another, it grew that darkness inside her to the point that her jealousy of the situation could take no more. She had to leave before the darkness ruined Kaelyn's party, she had put so much into it that Ursa hadn't wanted to ruin it with her sour mood anymore.

Now, here she sat, in limbo. Both literally and figuratively. The only thing she felt was pain. Pain... some pain she could control. A dagger appeared in her hand at the thought, but as soon as she saw it, she knew that was just the darkness in her, tempting her crueler side to come out to play. She closed her eyes and willed the dagger away, but at the same time she knew she needed pain. She needed something that would give her that. However, she didn't feel like getting into a fight with the things in the caverns or the castle. No, she needed another source of pain. Then it hit her.

She lifted her head and glanced to the fadeportal that she knew would take her to Larch and knew what she was going to do. She just hoped that Jesse would be working... and that he wouldn't be upset with her for once again abandoning the family. Ursa pushed herself up to her feet and dusted off the outfit she had changed into the moment she had left the party, a pair of grey sweats and one of Jordan's sweaters, that actually fit her like the dress she had been wearing at the party. And with a deep breath, she walked her way over to the fadeportal to Larch Court, she knew that there would be a portal to where she was going there.

After only moments, she found herself appearing on the first floor of Serpentine. The place she had been to only 24 hours earlier. Thankfully though, there was no party tonight. Slowly, she made her way upstairs and was keeping her eye out for Jesse. Yeah, there were other tattoo artists she could go to, but she only trusted Jesse to make her bleed. This was the pain that she needed.

[Jesse Fforde]

The party, as far as Kaelyn had planned it, appeared to have been a success. Many of the family had arrived; they had stayed, they had had a good time. There’d been no arguments – until Victor had arrived, late. Even then, the argument had been small and inconsequential, before he had left again. Honestly, Jesse had no idea what to do about the guy. To compare Victor’s current situation to the one that Jesse had been in was a stretch. Jesse had known that he needed help, and had asked for it. He had thrown himself into a place where he could be found. And when help was offered, he accepted it. When a way forward was laid down in front of him, he did his best to walk the path.

A person can’t be fixed if they themselves don’t want to do any fixing.

Which was how Jesse saw Victor. He was a man who claimed loneliness, who threatened to kill himself. Someone who complained, who said things weren’t right, and yet couldn’t say what was wrong. When asked how a person could help, they were rebuffed. Told that there was nothing to be done. There wasn’t much that Jesse could do but try to get the guy to get out more. To ask to see guns – to want to see guns. Maybe if Victor had a cause to work toward, he’d find distraction in it. Jesse could not provide the affection that Victor seemed to require. It was a shortcoming, these days; something that both Kaelyn and Clover, to an extent, had accused him of. He could not just show up on Victor’s doorstep and coo at him until he felt better. That wasn’t Jesse’s style. If that made him a hypocrite, then so be it.

Although Jesse didn’t need the distractions, he had them anyway. Serpentine was one of them. The bar to one side, the tattoo parlour to the other, and the gym downstairs. It was a well-oiled machine, most of the time. He could come and go; he took appointments and communicated with the duty manager, who dealt with most of the things that Jesse could not. The beginning of the night was spent answering questions and being the boss, after which he settled into the routine; he enclosed himself in the parlour and ignored the bar from which he could drink nothing but the blood that was stored safely beneath the counter.

Jesse was a social creature when he wanted to be, but sometimes he liked his space; his quiet. His place. The parlour was his place, with the smell of the parchment, the ink, and the bleach. Music played quietly overhead, his toe tapping along to the beat when Ursula walked in. He leaned back, head canted to the side; she wasn’t dressed up, like usual. She wasn’t as clean-cut as the Ursula he knew. Jesse himself was dressed casually, though in all black. Maybe Clover had rubbed off on him.

”Ursula,” he said, nodding his greeting. ”I hear sweat-pants and sweaters are in fashion. You’re right on point,” he said, cracking a grin.

[Wearing]

[Ursula Wolfe]

Ursa had heard him before she saw him, her gaze shifted in the direction of his tone and locked on him. Her eyes were not as bright, her gaze not nearly as intense. She looked tired, like she had not slept in days, like she had not fed in weeks - though both had actually happened. The life in her, it was gone. She hoped that the pain would bring it back, but she didn't know. She tried to smile, her lips curved upwards ever so slightly at his attempt to lighten the mood. Or, at least, she hoped that had been his play. However, that joy she normally had, that life that normally danced in her eyes was just not there. It had not been there for a long time.

"I'm glad to hear that." She said softly to Jesse as she walked deeper into the parlor and glanced around at all of the art that he had on the walls. All his, she knew that much. When her eyes finally returned to Jesse, she spoke again, "I was in the mood to get something new done, I was hoping that you would be free, but I can see that you are totally swamped." She said, attempted to inject the right amount of jest and just a hint of happiness into the teasing, the teasing she had once enjoyed with him, especially on days like this when she was down and she could find herself again with her family, find her happiness with them. She wanted to find it tonight. She wanted to find the pain as well.

She leaned against one of the counters and looked at one of the drawings near her for a moment more before her eyes lifted to Jesse and she gave him another smile, this one more like her old one, just missing the mark in her eyes alone. "I need to feel a different kind of pain tonight, Jesse, can you help me?" She asked in a soft voice, like her smile it was hers, but not at the same time. Like she was missing a part of herself that she would never get back.

[Jesse Fforde]

It wasn’t hard to understand that something was wrong. But of course, Jesse had seen it before. He’d seen it at the party, in the way that Ursula had left early, as if she couldn’t stand to be there. There were reasons why Jesse had been dubious about the success of the party; he was possessive in many ways. Territorial, though not to the extent that Clover could be. Or perhaps he just hid it better, controlled it better. He liked it when their parties were just them. When it was just the family. He didn’t like outsiders intruding on their space, and their business. His mood had lightened considerably as soon as Doc left the premises.

It was probably why he was so hard on Simon, too. On Stagger. Even on Jordan, though he’d not talked to Jordan enough to really have much of a say. Ursula needed her fiancé. It was a common theme in this family, though Renee seemed to have got hers back. Simon, so eager to gain Jesse’s good opinion. He supposed he’d better do something about that, eventually.

There were so many things that Jesse could have said, but he refrained. For now. He’d had his own bad experiences with love. The word couldn’t even be thought without a healthy dose of bitterness and venom. Marriage. Such a ******* rort. In his opinion, Ursula was better off without the asshole who was never there for her. But perhaps that was not something that she wanted to hear. Jesse was lucky. He had Clover there to pick up the pieces. But Ursula could be lucky, too. She had her family. Jesse stood, his interrogative stare shifting, gesturing to the folders spread out across the countertop.

”You’ve come to the right place,” he said. What was it with this family, and their love of pain?

”Do you have anything in mind, or are you just in the mood?” he asked. ”I suggest something over the spine…” he said. In his experience, and from the things that he had been told by other clients, the spine was one of the most painful areas of the body to be tattooed.

[Ursula Wolfe]

Ursa gave a passing glance towards the folders that he had motioned too, but she did actually have something in mind and she knew that he preferred to do things unique to him, he wasn't one to copy someone else. Still, she really did want two different designs and yet, they were also the same. Instead of showing him pictures though, she would just describe what she wanted, and trust in Jesse that he would give her his best rendition of what she had told him. Then her icy blue eyes turned back on Jesse and she smiled a bit.

"Actually, I do have something in mind. Two somethings actually. Both in a way the same, and yet both with different themes." She said as she leaned against the counter and looked to the man that she saw of as more of her sire than her actual sire. "Though, neither one I think would look good over my spine, they are still in some painful places." She smirked again a little, and they were. She always knew places where the bone was closest to the skin would hurt the most. The tops of her feet had hurt like a *****, both her shoulder blades though she had not really felt as much. The tat that Jesse gave her last time had been an almost euphoric amount of pain though and she did like to try to keep her tats in balance.

"I was thinking of two different broken looks. You know that design where it looks like the skin has cracked or been torn or peeled away to show what is under it? Well, I was thinking of getting one along here," she ran her hand along the right side, pushing in the sweater along her ribs. "Sort of to balance out the one you gave me last time, since that one is on my left. I was thinking something mechanical, like robotic parts but still 'human' showing the ribs and organs but at the same time. Maybe with a little steam punk flair to it? Sort of Terminator meets Steam punk, if that makes any sense?" To her, she had the image in her mind, but she didn't quite know how well she pulled off telling it to him.

"The other one would be smaller, but more painful because it would involve a lot of blending of colors. I was thinking a shoulder cap on my left side going down about quarter sleeve. The skin torn away to reveal a galaxy." She glanced around, he didn't have anyone else lining up, but she knew, that these would both take a great deal of time. One wasn't going to be much in the color but it would take a lot of detailing and shading, the other would be meticulous blending of colors and of course still making the stars pop even though it was a smaller surface. "What do you think? Think we can get them both done in one sitting? After all, it's not like you have to worry about needing a lot of time to heal between." She said with a little bit of laughter.

[Jesse Fforde]

Jesse had a rather large ego, but it was not something that led him to lies. The jobs that Ursula described sounded like a lot of work. But he couldn’t expect her to realise that one sitting might have to turn into two. Even though Jesse had gained the ability to stay awake during the day, it still took its toll. He could resist the urge to slip into torpor, but lethargy stole over his limbs, made his eyes itchy with the urge to sleep. It made him feel so ******* human, it was something that he resisted. And he would not trust himself to keep working through such a state. He was a perfectionist.

”Luckily, I have no one booked in tonight. But I’ll have to sketch them first – which could take a couple of hours because I need your input on exactly how you want it to be. It will be like a consultation. Secondly, though I can work fast and I don’t have to wait for you to heal, it’s still going to take a long time. That kind of work… it’s intricate, and there’s a lot of shading. A six inch by six inch piece takes about three hours on its own…” he said. He was already glancing toward the door; the noise from the bar indicated that it was only getting busier as the night wore on. A couple of people walked past the front door of the parlour. If Jesse was going to be working on Ursula for the rest of the night, he’d have to close up. Lock the door, pull the blinds down.

He turned his sharp eyes back to Ursula; his tongue slid over the caps of his teeth. He hadn’t yet hunted or fed. He could boost his own blood. It wasn’t the same, and it would do nothing to satisfy his insatiable thirst, but he could do it. If they started, there’d be no stopping or doing anything else until the sun came up.

”I don’t think we can finish it tonight, but we can give it a try. I’ll have to close up. You sure you’re up for it? It’s going to take six to seven hours. Not including the preparation…” he said, arching a brow, waiting for Ursula to decide it was what she really wanted before he made any move to close up shop.

[Ursula Wolfe]

The information that Jesse gave her made her second guess for a moment if she wanted to do this now, or tonight. She glanced over her shoulder to the door at the same time that he had and then glanced back at him. Maybe it would take too long to do both, hell, the one that would be on her side would mirror the other one that was on her other side in size. When he had done that one, it had seemed that time had flown by, it hadn't felt as if it had taken him as long as he was making it sound right now. Still, she wasn't going to second guess him in this case, only he knew what he was capable of. At least for how long it would take him to do something, especially since it was his business.

Still, she did want the tattoos, but at the same time, she didn't want to take him away from paying customers. She would live for eternity, so she had more than enough time to wait, his customers, she'd wager a bet would not like waiting for a tattoo. She glanced down at her hands as they rested on the counter for a moment as she contemplated things, and while she did she continued to listen to what Jesse was saying. He said that he would close up the shop because of the length of time it would take for such tattoos and she glanced up at him again. She was torn. She needed the pain, and this was a pain she could deal with. She needed to feel... something, anything. Plus she really liked the ideas of the tattoos and wanted them. On the other hand though, his closing up shop would mean he wouldn't make any money tonight. Yeah, he hadn't been busy when she showed up, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't have some later. The night was still young for most pub crawlers.

With a soft sigh, she looked up at him, "For some reason, I guess I thought it wouldn't take as long. This one you did seemed to fly right by." She said with a soft smile as she pointed to the side where he had worked the two family logos into her skin. "And really, I could use this pain. That said, I don't want to keep you from any potential customers you might get by monopolizing you tonight. Especially if you plan to close up the whole shop for me..." she glanced back at the door, wondering if others were already planning to come in. It seemed that a lot of people liked the idea of getting tattoos when they were three sheets to the wind.

[Jesse Fforde]

The business wasn’t doing too bad. They weren’t going broke. The renovations had cost money, of course, but it was all money that Jesse was able to get his hands on. He’d dipped into the family funds, some – most of which had been given to him by Renee – but he was certain that within a couple of months he’d have all that money back, plus some. He would be able to keep that fund afloat himself. That was the joy in having the three businesses tied into the one establishment; if one didn’t do so well, the others made up for it. He shrugged his shoulders and quickly rounded the counter. Ursula had made up her mind. As he approached the front door and flicked the sign to ‘closed’, the lingerers outside wandered off. He heard a muffled maybe I’ll come back tomorrow.

”Nonsense. See? They’ll come back tomorrow. It’s busy enough in the bar for me to close the parlour for the night,” he said, gesturing through the glass divider to the bar; a group of students had swarmed through the front door. They removed layers of jackets to reveal togas underneath. Remnants from a shipwrecked toga party, no doubt. Why they chose to have one in winter, Jesse would never know, but the minds of students were a mystery to him. He’d never been one. Never even thought about becoming one.

He gestured to the seat in front of the desk that he’d been positioned at when Ursula had entered. He sat behind it, flicking his sketchbook to a clean page and turning the computer screen so that Ursula could see if, if they needed to google anything as a reference. He cleared his throat and plucked a pencil from his ear.

”Also – that,” he said, pointing to where he’d etched the family symbol into Ursula’s skin, ”I knew the design already. It was mostly ready to go – and it wasn’t as intricate as these are going to be. The more colours I’ve gotta use, the different shades, the lines – the more I’ve gotta change the needles. The more I’ve got to focus so that it looks sharp, rather than just a blur of colours,” he explained. He wasn’t exasperated; he was calm.

”And then once I have the design ready, I’ve got to transfer it to a stencil, which takes a bit of time, too. But I’m happy to do it, Ursula. You’re not putting me out,” he said with a wink as the led hit the page; as he started with the design that she wanted on her ribs. It was the one he would need most direction with.

”…if you trust me, I could freehand the one on your shoulder,” he said, nodding with a pointed look to the shoulder in question.

[Ursula Wolfe]

Ursa watched as Jesse made his way from around the counter towards the door, ‘closing up shop’ as it were. She too picked up on the muffled voices from outside the door and she couldn’t help but give a relieved smile to Jesse. He seemed so at ease with the idea of closing things up so that he could give some relief and ink to a family member. His ease allowed her to drop her guards a bit more and her smile faltered for a moment. She really was so much in need of finding a way to bring the pain in her heart to the surface. The only way she had been able to do that currently had been to brood in one place or another, causing all things around her to weaken, wilt and die.

The apartment she shared with Jordan was filled with death, all the plants that they had, her herbs that she grew for rituals and spells all dead now. Weeds grew in their place with her sadness. She brought her attention back to Jesse as he spoke and smiled once again, nodding to his words. She was glad that he was doing so well. Clover was doing him so much good. She sighed a little then and made her way to the seat that he had once been in and sat down, toying with the hem of her sweater as she leaned back and took in his explanation about the logo that she had on her left side. She nodded in understanding and gave a light smile to Jesse, her silent way of telling him that she understood.

He was so at ease and jovial, it was hard not to feel more at ease and even a bit more like she had been before with him like this. However, her happiness for him was balanced out by her sadness at the fact that she was alone, that she didn’t have someone that would help her the way that Clover was clearly helping Jesse. She smiled at his wink, a true smile that actually reached her eyes for a moment before she once again relaxed into her seat and watched him as he began to sketch things.

It wasn’t until he spoke about her trusting him that she gave him a smile that really could light up the room, one that she saved for family, family that she trusted with her life. “Jesse, you should know by now, you are one of few I trust. And you are the only one I trust to do my ink.” Then she brought up something he had said earlier about the colors and the shading. “As for colors and shading, my ideas I think will make focus on one or the other a bit simpler since one is all the colors and blending and the other is just the shading… And I guess maybe white for the highlighting.” Really, she didn’t know for sure. Her artistry was with rituals and spells, not drawing or coloring. “I don’t really know… ignore me when it comes to that.” She added with a soft laugh and glanced to what he was drawing.

[Jesse Fforde]

Jesse nodded and rolled his shoulders. Whenever he started work, everything else dropped away. His focus centred upon what he was working on. Where before Ursula had described what she’d wanted, Jesse didn’t truly start to weave the image in his mind until he had that blank page in front of him, his pencil poised.

”Ah. So greyscale for the side, colour for the shoulder,” he nodded again as the led found the page, the soothing scratching taking up the majority of Jesse’s attention. He started with a vague outline so that he knew the size that he was working with, and slowly began to fill the inside of it. At first, the lines were light until the picture grew clearer in his mind; only then did he start to press harder, tipping the pencil on the side whenever he needed to shade. The skin looked torn, stretched across the design in a few places like melted rubber.

While he worked, every now and again he glanced up at Ursula. One didn’t have to be a genius to know that she wasn’t herself, nor the reasons why. Ursula had always been a passionate woman, and her loyalty was unfailing. That loyalty was her undoing now, stuck to a man that Jesse had never thought was any good for her. He was gone more than he was ever around, and the couple of times that Jesse had met him, Jordan had not made a very good impression. He knew there was no point telling Ursula any of this – insulting the man she pined over wasn’t going to help her, it would probably only make it worse.

He also knew that he had it easy, if easy was a word for it. He’d gone through hell and had lost his fiancé in the middle of it, but he’d had a safety net. Even when he and his fiancé were seemingly fine, Clover had been a safety net. It was only after he’d died and come back from the brink, it was only after he’d regained his sanity, that Jesse realised he and Clover had started months before they’d slept together. Ursula didn’t have a safety net. Or, she probably didn’t think she did. But here she was with Jesse. He could be as much of a net as he could be, without the romance of course.

But he didn’t mention any of it to Ursula – he didn’t instigate a conversation that she might be uncomfortable with. She needed pain, and he was going to provide it. He cleared his throat, eyes bright as he continued to sketch.

”Let me know if you want anything changed – or anything specific. I’m just going with what’s in my head. It might not be the same as what’s in yours…” he said as he started to sketch the bones, the bottom one broken.