Path of the Vampire forum

It had been some time since Rae had been able to have any down time. Her Sire had sent her a journal and requested that she write in it at least once a month. Trouble was, she only ever just killed things. She never spent any time with anyone. Did anything. She just fought things, rested and fought things again. She sighed now as she sat there with her journal. She had taken herself home for once and was now on her bed, holding the journal and a pen. She opened it to page one and then, Rae just began to write whatever came to her mind.

Journal entry 1. November 18th, 2015.

Not a whole lot to report. I've spent most of my time in the caverns, killing these mean looking things. Seems to be going well. I killed something that I guess would look like a shaman yesterday for the first time. Wasn't too difficult. Got a bit roughed up but that's to be expected. I think I'll keep trying those when I see them though. Practice makes perfect, after all and if I ever hope to impress Sire-man, I need to practice. That is my ultimate goal after all. He is my everything. I want him to be proud.

I haven't seen Elle or Kane in a while. Been keeping to myself. Training. He doesn't want me spending too much time with her anyway, from what I've gathered. I guess that's okay but he's around so rarely that I get kinda lonely. Not really good with people anyways so maybe its for the best. I miss Aiden though. He was good to me, I guess. Gave me a place to stay and clothes when i had nothing. Though I did tell him I didn't want the clothes. He insisted. He had so many good qualities but, I can't really be trusted around people. I can't trust myself, how can anyone else?

The dreams haven't been too bad lately. At least they are less violent. Maybe that comes from cutting myself off from most people. I do not know. What I do know is, I enjoy that. Not the alone part. The dreams. The dreams were so vivid I would awaken and have cuts all over me. Now, I do not. It is kinda nice.

I guess I will wrap this up now. Not really much to say and, I saw some guy that looks to be homeless on the corner. I have seen him a couple of times. Putting him out of his misery seems to be a good thing. Its a civic duty kind of thing. Haven not seen human blood in a while. Need to. I miss it.

She ended her entry and set her journal down before moving to the left side of her bed. The knife was taken and out the door she moved. She needed to get this out of her system. It was really the best way to keep the fear and memories at bay. She did not need them crashing into her as they used to. No. That was driving her insane. This was the way. It had to be.

She moved into her little apartment and onto the bed that her Sire had given her. It was nice to be able to come home and sleep now and again on a real bed. She eyed the journal and sighed. She was late writing in it though she still didnt know why she was supposed to. Still, she picked it up and then pen and began to write.

December 31st, 2015.

Not much to write again. Still spending my time in those caverns. Things are becoming less difficult to kill. I guess that is a good thing. Sire keeps casting some sort of spell on me. Makes me feel better. Stronger. Makes thing easier to kill. I think though, it is his way of letting me know he is there. He is an angel among a city filled with thieves. So good to me, that man. I truly do not know where I would be without him.

I lost a leg a few days ago. It is healed now. It was very inconvenient. I had heard that we could regrow our limbs but I must admit I had my doubts. At least, until it happened. I dared not tell Sire-man. Im his Ranette-pet. He would not have handled that well, I should not think. Protective. It is sweet. Endearing. I do enjoy his company though I have not felt it in a while.

Speaking of company.... I still miss Aiden. Maybe I should not have left. I stopped going to work. It would be too hard to see him. I do miss him though. I was afraid, see. Afraid of the dreams I was having but the dreams have gotten less. Maybe it would be okay to go talk to him. No. No Rae. What would happen if you were there one night and the dreams came back. Vivid dreams. Had you sleep walking and hurting people again. No. You do not want to hurt Aiden. Aiden is good people. He took you in when he did not need to. Had no reason to. He showed you life. Love. Happy. For a brief moment anyway. No hurting Aiden.

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh right. Sire-man. I miss him. Still, I am killing things, learning, doing what he wants me to do. I must admit I feel better than I did when I started all this so, it is as much for him as for me. Still, the desire to make him proud overshadows any desire to take breaks at any time. He is my reason. For what? Everything. Elle is amazing. I wish I could see her more as well. She finds me here and there and sits with me. Sleeps where I am. Shes an angel. I do wish her and Sire-man would get along better.

I have to wonder, with the dreams getting better if it would be safe enough for me to try and make friends. I do not know. I get so lonely. Though, friends... If I made those, I could see Aiden, right? I do not know. I wish I could tell him that I have missed him. Even if he has other friends now. Even someone that stays in my old room now. Still, I wish I could tell him. I do not know if that is a good idea. He sent me a message one day on my cell. I do not know how he got the number but I have his. Maybe I will text him. Just to check and see if he is alright. Maybe.

Should stop writing now. I have a book I want to read. Something to pass the time when I am tired. I have recently discovered the library and it is amazing. I check out books from there now. Self fixing books. Handy books. Books on cooking, though I do not know why. I cannot eat. This, this is a different kind of book. I believe they called it fiction. Anyway, off to read my book now.

Sire-man. I adore you.

~Rae.

She put her journal down and up came her book as she settled into the bed. She had a lot to think on that she did not even know was in her head until she started writing but, thinking was for another time. Now, it was reading time.