Say Good Night to the Bad Guy
Posted: 07 Nov 2015, 00:10
November 3, 2015
Today I leave it all. I can no longer stay in this city. The enemies I have cultivated seek my head. The police are quite literally in my home ravaging all that I once held so private to build a case for a crime which I am sure they will find me guilty of. Why? Because it is true. The darkness that has consumed me in my bid for power, no matter how little it might be has left me to stray away from everything that I have been taught. Now as I sit under this overpass writing this first entry into my new life as I leave the old behind, I am compelled to tear out the page and start over again so that no evidence of who I was is left behind. The truth however is that I fear that at no time in our lives can we ever change who we are, merely the background of the painting in which our likeness is cast upon varies based upon the brush strokes of life and its consequences. I am told of a place where people who wish to start anew can go and make a new life. Jesse tells me fantastic things about it, but still certain details I have asked he is all too vague about. He knows that I hate surprises yet I am left with no other choice other than to take his word and for once be spontaneous. If I do not the fate that will be dealt to me here in Chicago will be nothing more than torment and agony as I sit caged like an animal for what I am sure will be the rest of my life. The one thing I suppose I was never taught was to cover my tracks. Instead I decided to keep my secrets documented so that I could relive them like some sort of psychopath who takes his victims panties after a kill. Once those secrets are revealed I will have no one. So here I sit with my new best friend, a journal and a pen. The only one who will be there to start out this new journey. Perhaps everything will be much better. Perhaps the torment I have in my head now will only expand. No one knows, but the next stop is Harper Rock, Ontario.
Today I leave it all. I can no longer stay in this city. The enemies I have cultivated seek my head. The police are quite literally in my home ravaging all that I once held so private to build a case for a crime which I am sure they will find me guilty of. Why? Because it is true. The darkness that has consumed me in my bid for power, no matter how little it might be has left me to stray away from everything that I have been taught. Now as I sit under this overpass writing this first entry into my new life as I leave the old behind, I am compelled to tear out the page and start over again so that no evidence of who I was is left behind. The truth however is that I fear that at no time in our lives can we ever change who we are, merely the background of the painting in which our likeness is cast upon varies based upon the brush strokes of life and its consequences. I am told of a place where people who wish to start anew can go and make a new life. Jesse tells me fantastic things about it, but still certain details I have asked he is all too vague about. He knows that I hate surprises yet I am left with no other choice other than to take his word and for once be spontaneous. If I do not the fate that will be dealt to me here in Chicago will be nothing more than torment and agony as I sit caged like an animal for what I am sure will be the rest of my life. The one thing I suppose I was never taught was to cover my tracks. Instead I decided to keep my secrets documented so that I could relive them like some sort of psychopath who takes his victims panties after a kill. Once those secrets are revealed I will have no one. So here I sit with my new best friend, a journal and a pen. The only one who will be there to start out this new journey. Perhaps everything will be much better. Perhaps the torment I have in my head now will only expand. No one knows, but the next stop is Harper Rock, Ontario.