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♡ Why doesn't it work? ♡ (Closed)
Posted: 06 Jul 2015, 22:20
by Lorelai
Honestly Lorelai. You're acting like a child. Put the bottle down and go home. Go out. Go do something useful. I've had enough of this pity party.
The blonde didn't listen to her own advice and poured herself another shot of tequila before knocking it back. She had cleaned the backroom as she normally did and had returning what she considered to be her work clothes to the appropriate draw. This meant that not only was she drinking alone, but that she was drinking in her underwear, which just happened to be a pair of pale pink, lacy, boy shorts with matching bra. She didn't sit herself in Pru's chair. No. That chair was Pru's throne. Or at least it was seen that way by Lorelai. So she was seated on the opposite side of the desk like any visitor in a meeting with the fiery redhead might be. The room felt empty without Pru to fill it with her magnificence, but that suited Lorelai's darker mood. The question, should she be discovered, was what was she doing? While she was once more able to eat and drink, she gained absolutely nothing from doing so. She couldn't taste anything but blood and wasn't affected by what she put in her stomach. So the tequila she was knocking back might as well have been water for all the good it was doing her. Still. She'd hoped.
Lorelai wasn't a drinker. She had been. Once. In that brief period before her death but not before and not since. This experiment was just that. An experiment to see how much she could drink before she felt the effects and she was beginning to suspect that she could drink the entire contents of the bar and still not feel a thing.
If Prudence catches you in here she's going to kill you.
No she won't.
Okay. Maybe she won't. But she might be disappointed in you.
Do you really think so?
It's possible.
This stalled her from pouring the next shot, the bottle shaking slightly in her hand as she peered down at the empty glass before her. There really wasn't any good reason for her to feel so depressed and yet here she was. Would Prudence be angry with her if she were to walk in? She'd already placed an IOU for the money for the tequila on the table, so she wasn't stealing. She wasn't crying or smashing things. Not that she was the sort of woman to get violent when upset. She was just sitting there and drinking. Quietly. Alone.
So what if he hasn't said he loves you? He sees you every day Lorelai. Nothing's changed.
I know. But... I want to tell him I love him. I want to...
I know.
And last time I told him...
I know. You have eternity Lorelai. You don't need to rush him. Maybe one day he'll...
But what if he doesn't?
Her words wavered even within her own mind. Salt water misted her eyes. She wasn't going to cry. She told herself that she wasn't that weak. Only, she was. And there was a very real chance that tears would soon begin to fall, even though she had no good reason to cry.
Re: ♡ Why doesn't it work? ♡ (Closed)
Posted: 14 Jul 2015, 22:31
by Prudence
"I'm gonna pop by the saloon and sort some stuff out, babe." Prudence said before placing a demanding and aggressive kiss on Nathaniel's lips. she bit down on those very lips she just kissed, walked away, turned and gave him a wave before disappearing in a blur of celerity to her location; just right outside the building she owned.
A nod was given to her by J.J. as she entered, one Prudence reciprocated before she headed to the main bar area to see if Ryker needed any help for the night. Anything brought in from the backroom or a pair of hands for anything.Prudence wasn't against getting her hands dirty to help **** run smoothly. Once she brought a keg from the backroom with ease and set it down on the floor behind the bar for Rkyer, Prudence was off to her office to sort some bills and shipping orders.
She didn't expect to see Lori tonight. Or at least not in her office. Blue eyes fell to the empty glass, but she didn't say anything. Lori could drink-she was a Telepath, and should know what drinking did to anyone that wasn't an Allurist. And even though Lori didn't seem like the sort to drink, Prudence wasn't one hundred percent positive if that train of thought was true or not. "Hey, Lori." Prudence said as she picked up the mail that came to the saloon the last couple of days and threw the junk mail out in a bin next to her desk. "Where's your attachment?" Prudence meant Levi, of course, because about every damn near time she tomed to the apartment, Lori was there and so was he. Which was fine by her, but Prudence always felt like she was interrupting something personal, so her time spent there was quick and usually quiet too.
"Ya know, I have clothes in here for ya. Didn't ya bring any of yours a while back?" Eyes fell on the woman that was half naked, wearing a matching underwear and bra set that Prudence was pretty sure she had, just in a different color-a gift from C.C. at one point.
Re: ♡ Why doesn't it work? ♡ (Closed)
Posted: 20 Jul 2015, 21:59
by Lorelai
"My... what?" she asked somewhat puzzled by Prudence's statement.
I think she means Levi.
Levi is an attachment? I don't understand.
*sighs* You really can live up to the stereotype can't you?
What stereotype? I don't understand.
*sighs again while mentally facepalming* Being the dumb blonde. She means Levi. Trust me. And she said it like that because quite often when she sees you at the apartment, Levi is with you, us. Our attachment. As in we're always attached.
But that's not true.
I know. You don't have to tell me that. Tell her.
I will.
"Oh. You mean Levi," her cheeks flushed a little with the realisation of what Pru had said. "I'm sure he's doing something work related. He's probably at his office. You do know we aren't always together. He comes over if and when he has time to spare but he's a very busy man."
She defended him to her sire, not because she actually needed to, but because it was true. As for the clothing, she looked down at herself and smiled. She had been dressed before she started drinking but she didn't feel that clothing was necessary when drinking alone. Apparently the fact that she was in Prudence's office and not at home, had not been part of the things considered when that decision had been made.
"I have clothes in the draw you cleared for me. I change them ever week. I don't clean in my underwear."
No, you just drink in it.
Oh shush you.
She shook her head and her long blonde locks danced about her. The alcohol had no effect but that didn't mean that Lorelai wasn't in her right mind. In fact she was quite out of it, hence the experiment she was conducting. The pool of water across her eyes was yet another sign that the delicate female was out of sorts, but she wasn't sure if Prudence would want to hear about her problems or not.
In a moment of madness, or rather neediness, Lorelai pushed herself up onto her feet, closed the short distance between her and her sire and wrapped her arms around her waist before practically burying her face in her chest.
"Oh Pru..." she began sobbing. "I don't know if Levi loves me."
And just like that, the issue was laid bare at the feet (or rather the breast) of the woman that likely didn't know how to respond to such an emotional outburst. Prudence may be a woman but she wasn't your typically emotional female. In other words, she was nothing like Lorelai. And Lorelai was being stupid in some ways. They say that actions speak louder than words, and in this case that was likely true. Levi might never have said the words and even seemed to dislike the words when they were said to him but he still visited all the time and acted like he cared. What they had was very much like a relationship and whatever it was had Lorelai incredibly invested in it, even if it had yet to be defined. It was just difficult for the female to think of Levi with another and she wasn't sure if her belief in what they were was wrong.
Re: ♡ Why doesn't it work? ♡ (Closed)
Posted: 24 Jul 2015, 19:25
by Prudence
"Ain't we all busy? People need to be making time for what's really important." Something Prudence only realized lately since Nathaniel entered her life. She didn't say that extra bit, but she sure did think it and then she started thinking about other things about Nathaniel. Everything she liked about him and when she was going to see him next. Hopefully after she got out of here.
Prudence blinked twice because she didn't know what to say about the underwear comment. She didn't think Lori cleaned in her underwear, but if she did, who cared? As long as she wasn't riling up the patrons in her place, Prudence didn't care if the woman wanted to clean in a brown paper bag. "Uhhhhh, gooood to knooooow?" Prudence said with a shrug as she awkwardly picked at her skin on her arm. There was nothing really there, but Prudence wanted to focus on anything other than Lori in underwear doing anything.
If Prudence thought that was uncomfortable, the next thing Lori said and did made the woman completely uncomfortable. Prudence stepped back a little, but Lori was so tight on her that Lori came too as she sobbed in her shirt. On her boobs. Good thing she had extra clothes in this place still too. "Oh! Come on now, Lori. Course he does. He's always at your apartment. I have to sneak in and practically dive under couches to avoid seeing you two be all-eww." Prudence wrinkled her nose. Maybe she was being a bit over dramatic, but she knew Levi loved Lori even if he was being a jerk. Why else would he keep coming around? Why would he practically be living with her and letting her do whatever it was Lori did? Obviously he kept her busy with him at night because Prudence rarely saw Lori and heard from her just as rarely. If there was ever a problem, Lori let Prudence know.
"Look. Just cause guys don't say that, don't mean they don't love ya." Prudence nodded her head, sure it was true. Nathaniel never actually said 'I love you,' but when Prudence said it to him he said something, well, it was not what she wanted to hear, but she understood exactly what he meant just because he didn't parrot back to her what she said. "Fine, fine, fine. What makes ya think he doesn't love ya?" Prudence shrugged herself out of Lori's grasp and bee-lined for a chair so that she could keep the two of them apart from the other. Prudence wasn't down with being someone's cry pillow all damn night.
Re: ♡ Why doesn't it work? ♡ (Closed)
Posted: 26 Jul 2015, 23:11
by Lorelai
"Oh no!" she said sobbing worse as Prudence explained that she tried to avoid seeing her and Levi together. "You... You are always welcome Prudence. Always."
The blonde sniffed and wiped the tears from her face with the backs of her hands, doing her best to dry them on her bare thighs after ever wipe. She hated the idea that her sire didn't feel welcome in her home and she always tried to behave in the front room as she knew that Prudence could drop in at any moment.
"I told him... I told him that I loved him once," her voice was little more than a whisper as she tried to compose herself so that she could speak properly. "He... avoided me for a week."
She seated herself back at the table before pouring and downing another shot of Tequila. It should have satisfied her in some way or another and would have done if she were human, but as a non-allurist vampire, one that could drink but not get drunk, all it did was leave her feeling empty and more unnatural than ever.
"That was a while ago though now. And... Things are kind of back to normal. Actually... that might be a little unfair. He didn't avoid me entirely, but he was very... standoffish."
Prudence had asked her how she knew Levi didn't love her but that really wasn't an easy question to answer. Her sire was after all right; just because he didn't say it, didn't mean it wasn't true. In a world where actions supposedly spoke louder than words, his actions did seem to suggest that he was fond of her if nothing else.
"I just don't know what to think anymore. I can't tell him I love him as it seems to upset him and he won't say it. We see each other almost every day and yet I'm not sure what I mean to him. or if I mean anything at all. I'm not even sure if we're dating."
Lorelai hung her head as she admitted this. Despite having spent the better part of six months with the guy, she had no idea how to define their relationship. It felt like dating to her and she had no interest in anyone else, not even the goddess seated on the other side of the table, and yet she had no idea what Levi thought they were and was afraid to ask him to define it.
Re: ♡ Why doesn't it work? ♡ (Closed)
Posted: 07 Aug 2015, 11:18
by Prudence
Dating problems. Not something she wanted to talk about. Lori had to know Prudence wasnt overly lucky with men, right? Not until recently, which was something no one really knew but Moride-and only because Pru let it slip that she was watching Nathaniel's fighting style and thought he was really bad *** and cute. Then one thing led to another and here they were. Finally, Prudence found a good one. A damn good one and she was going to hold on to him for as long as he would let her.
"Well, uuuuuhm....not to be crude, but ya'll *******?" Prudence looked at her childe with a very frank look as she shifted the weight on her feet. "I mean, it seems like you two are always inside, ya know..." Prudence shrugged and then sighed. "Look, it's pretty simple to me, Lori." Lori was probably as oblivious to dating and all things dating as Prudence was. "I think you're a **** buddy." Prudence said very flatly. She didn't mind Levi, but Lori was her first priority and if she wasn't happy, then Prudence was going to try and make her happy. And if that wasn't Levi because they weren't on the same page and might never be, then so be it. "People don't love **** buddies. They're for *******." Prudence continued on as she kept her eyes on Lori. "Look, you all need to figure out what ya mean to the other and figure out if you're okay with whatever he wants and needs and vice versa. If ya ain't, as much as ya love him and it's gonna hurt, ya gotta let him go. If he can't be what ya want and need, then find someone who can be." Prudence spoke like she knew from experience, because she did. At one point she loved the **** out of Cliff, but for the last two years, he couldn't be anything she wanted and needed him to be and after stupidly waiting around and hoping, Prudence became exhausted and pissed at herself for waiting so damn long for cutting the cords on that one.
Re: ♡ Why doesn't it work? ♡ (Closed)
Posted: 22 Aug 2015, 17:24
by Lorelai
Is that what I am? His **** buddy?
She asked herself this question, hating the phrasing that Prudence had used. As always, her subconscious was the one to answer the question.
Isn't that what you settled on back when you started sleeping together?
Her brow furrowed as she recalled the initial arrangement. It was technically what she'd agreed to and yet she'd always hoped that if she gave him enough time and attention that maybe, just maybe, he might want more. Now all she could think that was Pru was right. She'd gone about this all wrong and by luring Levi into her bed, she may have in fact lost any chance she had of winning his heart one day.
Oh don't be like that.
Like what?
You know what. Yes. You started out sleeping with one another and agreed to no strings. But you know what you have is more than that.
Do I?
Yes. You do. He may not love you. Yet. But you know he cares about you. Us. You don't only see him when he wants sex. In fact it's usually you initiating that kind of contact.
I...
You spend time together like any normal couple. So you don't go out much. Who cares. You don't always like going out anyway. You get paranoid about ghosts seeing you seeing them and then you start to feel guilty for ignoring them.
It's easier to do with Levi at my side.
I know. But that's not the point. The point is you both seem content just to spend time together. You allow one another to relax. To forget the stresses and strains you are under.
You really think...
Yes. I do.
Lorelai played with the empty shot glass and then shoved it away. She didn't need to drink and her experiment seemed to be failing. She felt the burn of the liquid as it slipped down her throat but nothing more. The fire in her belly lasted but a few seconds. Her mind was just as clear now as it had been before she downed that first mouthful of the harsh smelling liquor.
"It's not like that," she half-heartedly protested.
It wasn't that she was arguing with Pru as that seemed all but impossible to do what with her practically worshiping the ground the woman walked on, but she couldn't allow those words to seep into her heart; she had to defend what she and Levi had, even if she didn't know exactly what that was.
"We don't always have sex Pru. It's not like that. We spend time together. We're just us. I like that. I like him. I love him."
She stopped herself from continuing as she knew she wouldn't be able to continue without contradicting what she'd already said. When it came to Levi, Lorelai was awash with emotion. On the one hand she knew without a shadow of a doubt that he cared deeply for her. Or at least as deeply as he could care about anyone. And then on the other hand was that ever present doubt that told her that she wasn't good enough for him and that no-one, especially not Levi, could ever love her.
"I need to ask him," she sighed softly, her hands folding into her lap and her eyes dropping along with them. "I'm just worried what his answer will be. I... I know you're right... I know that if we want different things I should let him go... I'm just... I'm not ready."
She'd walked away from one relationship but that one had been toxic. Not that she'd seen it at the time. It took a lot for Lorelai to give up on a person or to put herself first but in that case it had been the right thing to do. What she shared with Levi was very different. It was comfortable. She didn't mind his standoffish behaviour, in fact it drew her in. She wanted to help and protect him. She wanted to show him that someone in this world cared about him. She knew his secret and it didn't scare her. She marveled at his strengths and would only admit to him having one weakness; that weakness being his reluctance to let anybody in. This was something she was determined to change.
Re: ♡ Why doesn't it work? ♡ (Closed)
Posted: 23 Sep 2015, 00:22
by Prudence
Prudence rolled her eyes at what Lori said. "So if ya like him and even love him, then what are ya so upset about? Because he might not feel the same way you do right at this time?" Prudence resisted another groan as she swallowed. Why was Lori so insistent on sharing this with her? Prudence wasn't the type of girl to lay around, grab a pillow, talk about the man she loved and all her fears and uncertainties and **** like that with someone else. If she thought about things that bothered her or worried her, she just wrote them down and eventually ended up realizing she was being stupid. Lori should do the same.
"Ya just have to learn to be patient." Prudence said with a resounding nod of her head. "If it's meant to be, then Levi will come around. If not, even if ya ain't ready, ya might need to be to give him up. Have to be. There ain't a point of holding on to something so tight, when it's not meant to be. Jesus, Lori, ya gotta get a backbone or you're gonna end up being a floor mat." Prudence did groan this time. She liked Lori when they weren't being all gushy and stuff, but Prudence always thought the girl needed to get a little bite behind her bark. She needed to channel her inner Pru every blue moon.
"I hope that he comes around. I think ya two been really good to one another for the most part. Would be good for the other, if he got his head on straight." Levi had come a long way in Pru's mind for some time now. He seemed to be doing his own thing without being under the reign of CC, Pru's trouble starting brat, which was good for him. She would only drag him down if he had let her. "So we done talking about this?" Prudence sure hoped so. "Maybe we could talk about something else...like, well, uhhh other things. Things ya do when you're not with Levi."
Re: ♡ Why doesn't it work? ♡ (Closed)
Posted: 11 Oct 2015, 21:36
by Lorelai
Lorelai nodded but she wasn't really sure why she was nodding. She didn't want to be patient any longer. She was sick of waiting for Levi to wake up and realise she was there. A small part of her wondered if this was how Lyle had always thought about her.
Well that's a frightening thought. Bet you're wishing you didn't think now aren't you?
Yes. I am.
It doesn't feel good being on this side of the fence.
No it doesn't. And I don't know why you seem to be teasing me about this. You're feeling the same way I am.
Am I now?
Yes. You are. You're me and I'm you. You want him to me, us, too.
... Fine. So... if you need to get a backbone like Pru says, does that mean you might start listening to me more now?
I don't think so, no.
*huffs* Your funeral lady.
It would be yours too.
Yeah but at least I would have tried.
"It's scary to think that I could have such strong feeling for him and that he might not return them." The words were softly spoken and the blonde wrung her hands in her lap as she said them. "I know you think I should be braver but I don't think I could stand to lose anyone else in my life right now."
She wasn't kidding either. At this point in time, losing Levi would destroy her and she knew it. It was probably this fact alone that was stopping her from talking to Levi and asking the question she so desperately wanted an answer to.
"You want to talk about ghosts?" Lorelai spoke without really thinking.
This isn't something you usually talk about Lorelai. Does she even know you're crazy?
I'm not crazy. They exist. You've seen them.
I know. But... well... most people aren't like us.
*sigh*
The tequila was all but forgotten now. It didn't seem to be affecting her, so drinking it seemed to be a complete waste of time considering she couldn't taste it either. There was nothing comforting in the action of drinking her sorrows away either, as it was a further reminder of the darkest period in her short life.
Sighing aloud Lorelai realised Prudence was right. It was time for her to get a backbone. Though that was a task easier said than done.
Re: ♡ Why doesn't it work? ♡ (Closed)
Posted: 19 Nov 2015, 18:33
by Prudence
Scary. Lori definitely needed a backbone, but Prudence could relate. She just didn't let anyone know that she was scared, or that she felt fear. But she had and did. When Nathaniel entered her life. Not when she was checking him out and following him around. But when they legitimately started dating, after a few booty calls (as Prudence viewed it at first) and then when things progressed further than that.
"Look, Lori. Everyone gets scared sometimes. Some more than others. But ya can't live in fear and ****. If ya do, then you'll be wondering about that what ifs and what coulda been." Prudence didn't focus on the ghost thing at the moment, because she wanted to let Lori know that she was listening to her and that other people have been here before. "I mean, most everyone." Prudence didn't want Lori to think she was a weak *** or something, so she changed her wording to signify that she wasn't 'everyone.' Even if Prudence was deep down.
"Ya mean the wraiths, or other things?" With that settled in Prudence's mind, she circled back to the topic Lori brought up on her own accord. "IF ya mean wraiths, they ain't so bad. Some are useful, like those guides. Some are annoying and just talk a lot of stupid ****, but most are quiet and just do whatever their master tells them to do. Like Annie. Have ya met my Annie yet?" Prudence adored Annie, even if Prudence realized she was a little crazy up top, and hadn't ever thought about taking another wraith to be at her side since the night the red head had summoned the wanna be gun toting bandit.