01. Starlight
This ship is taking me far away, far away from the memories of the people who care if I live or die
-- Muse
My full name is Mika Nicoline de Witte. My parents are Angelique and Kees de Witte. I don’t have any siblings, but if I did have siblings, I’d want brothers. I don’t need anymore competition, and that’s exactly what sisters would be.
I’m twenty years old and I’ll be twenty-one years old on the eleventh of May, but I’m not really sure how age works with being dead. I don’t think it’ll make a difference if I was born in May or June or December. I think I’m stuck the way I am. I’m not complaining though. Twenty is a good age for dying. Twenty is legal and good clean fun. ;)
I’m not married. I was married at one point, but that...I’ll go into it the whole spiel. I got married when I was eighteen years old. I know it’s a young age and I know that I should have waited, but my family has a history of marrying early in life and none of their marriages turned out too bad. They all gave their blessings and were more than happy to attend the quick ceremony. They liked my husband. They approved and supported me wholeheartedly.
Anyway, onto my ex-husband. My ex-husband’s name was Markus. I won’t include his last name just in case this diary falls into the wrong hands. Markus was charming and considerate and absolutely wonderful. I loved him so much! Whenever I think about the good times we spent together, I still feel a pull toward him. It’s hard to describe how weak I feel. The good times became harder to find as time passed. Markus turned into a selfish, manipulative asshat. That’s all that he was too, an asshat.
Markus abused me physically and emotionally. He had me so lost and caught up in a fantasy, or in some world of wishes, that I fell right under his grubby thumb. We had a child together though. A boy. I named him Milan. It’s a family name and it’s cute. He was adorable. I’m sure he still is. I gave up custody to my parents because at the time, Markus and I weren’t in a place to raise a child. It wasn’t until after Milan that things really exploded between Markus and me.
I know I said the good memories still get to me. They do! I also have to admit that I feel stupid for ever seeing anything in someone like Markus. I hate the fact that I wasted two years of my life on him. He really put things into perspective for me.
I’ve covered the basics of my old life. After the divorce, I took everything I had and moved to Harper Rock. Every now and then, I checked in on my family members. I got photographs and cards from my mother. She tried to keep me involved in Milan’s life, but seeing my baby just made me cry. I don’t like that feeling. I don’t like any strong feelings.
At the very beginning of this entry, I mentioned I was dead, but I didn’t go into detail. I’m a vampire now. There’s a whole story about how I changed and why I changed and who changed me. It’s not a bitter story at all. I don’t regret anything that happened. I don’t even feel bad about the deaths of the others involved in the accident. I’m trying to say that I’ve left my old life behind. That Mika died at the scene of the accident and a new Mika was born. I still get the photographs and the postcards from family, but I stopped responding. I don’t want to respond anymore. I’m not that girl.
I’m excited to experience what this new life has to offer. I can say with certainty that I’ll never be trapped in another miserable situation. No future Markus for Mika! I have the power I’ve always wanted and I can finally breathe again.
Mika
