Prattle [ journal ]
Posted: 18 Feb 2015, 16:44
Waking up is difficult.
I used to have such lovely dreams as a human- full of idealistic visions of gothic romance and lazy indulgences. Waking to the warm sun and the scent of the sea was as enticing as the dreams, and when I woke up wanting there was always an immediate solution. Food was easy and passively satisfying, though hunger as a whole was simpler then. There were brief stomach upsets and hints of noises when the morning or evening routine was shifted, but it was never distressing. Flesh needs were harder to ignore, of course, though a lover was always close and there were few risks… boredom, I will say, is easier to silence now.
Thankfully, while my dreams have taken to different tastes, they are still lovely. Tragic, albeit, as death and the thrill of a hunt have replaced fairy tales and blood cravings take precedence over everything… but I have never been so overwhelmingly invigorated and enamored with my reality. Even outside of my convictions and ideas of religion, there are so few aspects of living now that have been disappointing. I ache when slumber ends, but I am alert and ready. Strength and speed have increased to levels unimaginable in my mind, and my senses have become sharp enough that nothing is missed. Everything has shifted… right down to interactions with others- and humans, for as dull as they were before, fascinate me. Then again, a good meal will draw in any predator.
There are some themes that seem to have carried over into immortality, but given my history and natural inability to hide who I am, I find myself unsurprised.
My turning, awakening, or death- I have not yet decided which it was, as I have learned that death is far different from my previous ideas of it- obviously came with fangs. However, where most are designed to hide at will in an effort of discretion, mine remain no matter the circumstances. I am grateful that they are small enough to be both aesthetically pleasing and not at all obvious when my mouth is shut, but it does make interacting with humans impossible if I am expected to speak or look anything but mildly amused. Smiling is clearly out of the question. Feeding has been difficult as well, so the perfect hunts that happen while I sleep are still a tease.
My sire tells me that along with my powers, I will hone all other aspects of my vampiric state over time and that the hunger will be easier to sate. I believe her, though impatience has only magnified, so I want it all now. I do not think I could sound more petulant- and that amuses.
I used to have such lovely dreams as a human- full of idealistic visions of gothic romance and lazy indulgences. Waking to the warm sun and the scent of the sea was as enticing as the dreams, and when I woke up wanting there was always an immediate solution. Food was easy and passively satisfying, though hunger as a whole was simpler then. There were brief stomach upsets and hints of noises when the morning or evening routine was shifted, but it was never distressing. Flesh needs were harder to ignore, of course, though a lover was always close and there were few risks… boredom, I will say, is easier to silence now.
Thankfully, while my dreams have taken to different tastes, they are still lovely. Tragic, albeit, as death and the thrill of a hunt have replaced fairy tales and blood cravings take precedence over everything… but I have never been so overwhelmingly invigorated and enamored with my reality. Even outside of my convictions and ideas of religion, there are so few aspects of living now that have been disappointing. I ache when slumber ends, but I am alert and ready. Strength and speed have increased to levels unimaginable in my mind, and my senses have become sharp enough that nothing is missed. Everything has shifted… right down to interactions with others- and humans, for as dull as they were before, fascinate me. Then again, a good meal will draw in any predator.
There are some themes that seem to have carried over into immortality, but given my history and natural inability to hide who I am, I find myself unsurprised.
My turning, awakening, or death- I have not yet decided which it was, as I have learned that death is far different from my previous ideas of it- obviously came with fangs. However, where most are designed to hide at will in an effort of discretion, mine remain no matter the circumstances. I am grateful that they are small enough to be both aesthetically pleasing and not at all obvious when my mouth is shut, but it does make interacting with humans impossible if I am expected to speak or look anything but mildly amused. Smiling is clearly out of the question. Feeding has been difficult as well, so the perfect hunts that happen while I sleep are still a tease.
My sire tells me that along with my powers, I will hone all other aspects of my vampiric state over time and that the hunger will be easier to sate. I believe her, though impatience has only magnified, so I want it all now. I do not think I could sound more petulant- and that amuses.