Issues (Rina)

[Doc]

"--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--"

Doc: Once they got the word they were free to go, Doc went over to Rina. He held out his hand to her. “It’s over. We can go. But,” he lowered his voice. “you and I need to talk. I am not upset with you.” He shook his head negatively briefly. “I’m worried about you. You invested a lot of yourself in this game. And it didn’t end the way you wanted; and you’re taking it heart. You are internalizing a defeat to mean something it doesn’t. I can feel the doubt pour off of you. Let’s go on the balcony and talk? Just you and I.. alright?”

Karina Docere: Her eyes drifted up to his as he spoke. A frown set deeply upon her lips as listened, knowing that it was a talk that she would eventually have with someone. Maybe it was better that it was with Doc, she didn't have to worry as much as if she spoke to Vel but she wasn't entirely sure of the outcome. Taking his hand, she rose from the floor and nodded. "So...you're going to psychoanalyze me?" She took a deep unneeded breath and let it out slowly. "Alright, just you and I."

Doc: “No.. I am not going to analyze you. I going to support you.” his tightened his hand around hers. “Whatever you say.. will stay right here. I will not tell anyone.” He led her out the balcony. “I have to admit, I have noticed that you seem a bit withdrawn lately. You smile,” He dips his head towards her and gives her a knowing look, “But it doesn’t reach your eyes. They say you can see into someone’s soul through their eyes. Your soul is hurting, and it bothers me that it is.” He smirks slightly, “You tell anyone.. I will ******* deny it..”

Karina Docere: "That's a relief...Not sure how I could deal with people poking around my brain, though I probably should have seen a shrink years ago after my parents died." Squeezing his hand back, she followed him out to the balcony. "I trust you...always have." Thinking a moment on his words, her brows furrowed. "Withdrawn?" As he gave her that knowing look, she pinched her lips together. "Hmmmm...." Tilting her head as he continued, her interest peaked. "My soul hurting bothers you and you don't want me to tell anyone? Why? Not that I would but curiosity is sort of at play here."

Doc: Doc leaned against the railing and looked at her, still holding her hand, “I have had some bad experiences with females and feelings. I say ‘I care’, next thing I know they are expecting a ******* ring.. and lifetime commitment..” He paused, “And then have that one.. tell someone else, and its like you just opened a whole case of crazy, ‘Why do you love her.. and you don’t love me..’” He raises his eyebrows in a ‘never again’ sort of way, “I never want to go through that again.” He slid a look at her, “Nice job on the deflection there.. but I haven’t forgotten.” He winked at her, “What is going on? You mentioned Lions not being a problem a few weeks ago. Are you two fighting?”

Karina Docere: "Not all girls are crazy but it's sort of something we're born with. I don't know...you kind of have to deal with it as a man. Our curse is your curse to be honest. Not everyone is made for marriage and others are. Some are made for several people that have crazy times together and others...well, they lead a vanilla life." She nodded as she caught the 'never again' look he was giving her but she had to laugh if only for a moment. "You give that look and yet you have your Hag Bag...seriously...glutton for punishment much?" He caught her change of topics...a skill that she was typically good at but she should have known better to fool even Doc. Shaking her head at his question. "Nope...not fighting...he has to be around for that to happen. Hard to fight with myself but then again...the battles in my brain...well maybe I don't need him around for that."

Doc: “Ok.. “ He nodded, “So why hasn’t he been around?” He paused, “Or is that ‘the’ question that is in your brain.. that you are dwelling on. That you are seeing issues that maybe aren’t issues? But you don’t know because.. he is not around to ask?”

Karina Docere: "As far as I know, he's not around because of his business. At least from what he has told me, he is working all of the time but I don't know...there is a pattern in my life that follows me like the plague. Everyone I ever love and care about vanishes. I'm not a clingy person but when there are people that I love and care about...I do just a smidge. Not enough to suffocate them...I hope at least but then again, there are times where it's not enough and I just fold into myself. Lions knows this, I told him when we were just friends and he promised but now...I don't know. I worry and all of this crap with this game and not really being of any use...just...ugh" She hopped up on the bannister to take a seat even if it was out of frustration. "It's weird...I'm alone but not alone at the same time."

Doc: “First of all, you are very useful. This preconception you have that you are useless, because you aren’t a blood thirsty killer, is just ******* wrong.” He pressed his lips together, “Do you know why it bothers that you aren’t your vibrant usual self? Because I envy that about you. You have an easy smile, because you are happy to just be. It is not because you just ******* killed someone, or someone fell down, or because your enemy just got sent to the Shadow Realm. You smile because you see a flower, and you think it’s pretty. You see an acquaintance and you are genuinely pleased to see them. It isn’t fake. For you it’s real. Very real. Your presence brightens the room. I can’t be in a bad mood around you, you wont let me. It can be ******* annoying, but I am a better person when I am around you. Anyone can kill. But not just anyone can do what you do.”

Karina Docere: "But you have to be useful in the way of killing in this group of going on hunts is completely pointless because the group can't depend on you." Letting her eyes look straight at him as he began to answer her question, surprise clear on her face as he spoke and if she had fed recently, a blush would have been in her cheeks. He had her pegged minus the hidden sadness she carried but it was hidden so who could truly know? Giving him a soft smile, she looked back down at the ground as she began to kick her legs back and forth. "Thank you, annoying or not...being a better person isn't half bad."

Doc: “You’re welcome. And I meant it. Do not belittle that gift. It is special and unique. And we, our Tytonidae family, need that. Do you have any idea what we would be like without you? Back biting, snide comments, bickering.. we would slowly implode.” He frowned slightly, “So why are you sad? You try to hide it. But I can see it. Sad and almost wary. As if you expect something bad to happen.. and you want to bolt before it does.” He paused, “Running away never helps. It merely postpones the inevitable and causes hard feelings. So what is the problem, and how can I help?”

Karina Docere: She laughed and looked up at him. "We do that anyway. I think you and maybe a few others notice what you just told me. You had the constant fights with Nem and Blake, Nem and anyone that disagreed with her, Lia when she was here and anyone that possibly disagreed with her, Nix when she gets pissed off...and that's only to name a few. There is rarely a hunt or get together where something doesn't happen." What she didn't expect was him to bring up that she was sad. She hadn't realized that anyone had known let alone knowing her 'fight or flight' instinct. Shugging her shoulders as she sighed. "Because something bad always happens. I don't know what and I don't know when but when I feel it...I feel like I can't breathe and that I need to escape. Early in my Ty days, I had a long string of
bad things happen to the point that I was literally non-existent. I became the only hermit owl in the group and it made Vel worry. I easily slip into that mode especially when I get scared or angry or hurt."

Doc: When she crawled out the window, her desire to evade something, was a pretty easy thing to key in on. “When you say bad.. are we talking.. ‘**** I shot Lions.. and he is pissed at me!’ or is it ‘I Know something about someone and I don't know what I should or should not say… or how to say it if I should’. Or is it,” He was trying to put clues together, and said it before he really thought about it, “.. that you think Lions is having an affair?” He was more concerned with finding out what her idea of ‘bad’ was, that he didn’t realize he could have just fed her fear deeper, if he was right. “To me bad is,.. my ******* wife sleeping with Pratt. That is bad. Anything else.. eh..” He shrugs. “So what is bad to you?”

Karina Docere: Shaking her head to all of his suggestions as he tried to dig into the parts of her mind that she tried so desperately to avoid. "Shooting Lions is highly desired right now. I never know anything about anyone especially 'bad' things that would put you in a 'Should I or shouldn't i' position. It's more like emotional for lack of better explaining. It's as if the world is crumbling around you for no reason at all other than it just can. Disappointment is a starting point. People vanishing is another. Feeling ultimately alone even in a room full of people is the worst. I get it...I know these are emo feelings and I grew up wanting nothing but to be on my own but that was when I danced and my ultimate goal was to be a Prima Ballerina...you can't have a life or someone you love...all you do is dance but now...now things are different and I feel as if my mind is melting when it's not going right or Lions....I'm scared to death that he's going to poof. That you are going to poof. That I somehow will disappoint everyone in Ty and get kicked and then be left with nothing but my warehouse and dance studio."

Doc: Doc stared at her, his head canted slightly to the side. She was afraid of being alone. In his mind he balanced her desire for a career being cut short, the fact she would never have ‘biological’ children, the fear of Lions leaving her. The fear of him leaving her. Him? Doc was shoved that out of the way, “I cannot speak for Lions,.. But I am not going anywhere. And why would you be kicked out? I just told you, we need you. You’re not getting kicked out. Unless you ******* try to kill Vel or Micah,” he gave her a look, “and let’s face it, that is not you. So that is illogical. Which brings us to Lions. It seems that is the crux of the issue?”

Karina Docere: Her eyes quickly darted up to look at him as she nervously laughed. "No...withdrawing will get me kicked out. I have to show some sort of activity and that I am trying to interact with others or I'm gone. It's been a talk that has happened a times with Vel and Micah. As much as I promise I work on it, coiling and hiding is comfortable." Shaking her head at his words. "That's what they all say. They aren't going anywhere and then poof...gone. Now warning, no note, no death to give the vanishment just a little bit of sense...Kacee, Mercedes, Raphael, Neville...the list gets longer and longer as the years pass." She shook her head again but this time in agreement to his statement. "No, I would never shoot them. I honestly don't think I have raised my voice at them...at least that I can remember." She bit her lower lip as they were brought back to Lions. "I don't think he would have an affair. Honestly at this point, I wouldn't care as long as I knew about it. It would give reason as to why he's not around other than just working. I run a warehouse and a dance studio but I still make time for everyone if its needed."

[Karina]

"--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--"

Doc: Doc grinned at her, “Do you listen to yourself when talk?” He held his hands up as if to say don’t shoot the messenger, “Darlin’ you just went into depth about how you withdraw and it could get you kicked out.. because you have been warned about it.. and in the next breath, you are slightly indignant at Lions because he withdraws into work, and ‘you still make time for people if it is needed.’” His grin got wider. “No offence, but you two are the architects of your own dysfunction. Here is what is happening, you withdraw, which causes you to obsess over the things, ‘that make you -want- to withdraw’ more. Vicious cycle. Meanwhile, Lions is giving you space to sort things out on your own. But then you see that as him ignoring you. So you withdraw more, and obsess more. Meanwhile Lions throws himself into his work, because he doesn’t want to put pressure on you. Upshot of this is.. You two need to ******* communicate with each other. Hunt his *** down and tell him, in no uncertain terms, you need him. Get it?”

Karina Docere: "How can he throw himself into work he doesn't know that there is anything wrong. You saw him on Halloween. It didn't seem to phase him that I threatened to **** you on top of him while he was sleeping and then he comes back with 'I'll deal with it'. What the hell...I get he thinks that because I have needs but he has needs to but it's okay that I just galavant off and do as I please and with whom I please and know that he will be there waiting when I get back because 'he’ll deal with it' what the **** kind of response is that? I really don't get it." She hadn't realized that as she began to question and explain that her frustrations were getting the better of her and her voice was raising. Her hands flailed because when she was excited or upset, she talked with her hands.

Doc: Doc decided it was probably a good thing if she got angry. She needed to vent instead of hold it inside. So he decided to try and push her buttons, but if she puddled on him, he would be annoyed. “And you let him get away with. You didn’t force the issue. You basically shrugged your shoulders and said, “ok.” and went off to sulk. You have no idea what he was thinking. He was probably trying not to cause a ******* scene in front of his faction and family. I know if my wife had done that to me, someone would be eating lead. I think you’re damned lucky.”

Karina Docere: "He gave literally no response, Doc. What was I supposed to do....actually do it? Jesus ******* Christ...I would have happily ate lead if it showed that he actually cared that much. Who just gives permission to their wife to sleep with someone else? I don't get that. Something is dead there and I don't know what but everything I talk to him...that's his response..." spoken with mixture of sarcasm and venom "...'deal with it'. ******* please...man the **** up and fight for me. If he's not here, there's a reason and if there is interest shown somewhere else, prove that you still ******* care and prove that I am wrong for even having thoughts but nope...that's his response." She gritted her teeth and shrugged. "Honestly...I just want to burn down his business and call it good."

Doc: Doc nodded. “Alright.. Burn it down. See if he ‘deals’ with that?” He looked at her, “Maybe he didn’t say anything, because everyone was there, listening, and he was afraid of what he would say. Old saying, ‘Better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.’ Give the man a ******* break and talk to him. If you have to burn his building down to get him to talk to you… I could arrange one of my spawns to help you.”

Karina Docere: She turned sideways on the railing before laying down her lithe body. Her eyes stared up through the branches, catching a small glimpse of the moon. "Maybe though I'm sure it would piss him off. He loves his business. Hell...he modeled it after the one thing he loves the most...sex. He would be pissed and devastated."

Doc: “The issue remains.. communication. You two need to talk. Slap him until he talks to you. Or.. threaten to leave him. Leave him before he leaves you.” He watched her. At least she wasn’t puddling.. yet. “What is the worst that is going to happen? He say’s “ok.. let split up..” At least then you would know what is going on, instead of this insecurity ********.”

Karina Docere: He had a point as she listened to each word. She knew that she would have to step it up a notch and shoot at him until he listened or she landed a hit. Either way...slapping was out of the question because that would only delay the talking. "You have a valid point."

Doc: Doc nodded, “Thank you. So the ball is in your court, now. You are the architect of your future. Take the bull by the horns darlin. Yank him out of his comfort zone.”

Karina Docere: She gave a soft groan and nodded her head as much as she could while laying down. "Alright...I just wished he would have been more of a man about it. Last I knew he wasn't a woman but maybe his bits didn't grow back after I shot them off a few months ago."

Doc: “Good. This is not healthy for you or him. And I want the old Rina back.”

Karina Docere: Rolling her head to the side to look at him and chuckled. "You have always had the old Rina...just this game or whatever screwed with my head. I was able to hide the Lions **** until this game and then...I don't know...seemed like everything spiraled and I was standing outside of my own body, watching everything and unable to help it. I felt trapped."

Doc: Doc brushed her hair away from her face, “You feeling better? You look a little bit better. But I am still contemplating, locking the two of you in the ******* ‘heinous hut’.. if I have to. I do not want to have to. I like you both. I don’t want you two hating me.. or each other. I would be appreciative if you could get that full sparkle back.”

Karina Docere: She relaxed as he brushed her hair away from her face. He was always soft and caressing with her which was nice. It was the perfect friendship because she could always depend on him but there was something about him that drew an attraction out of her. As much as she would get jealous over his hag, she wasn't entirely sure why but knew her focus needed to be on Lions...no matter the cost. "No worries...I have thought about locking him up myself but he has a tome which makes for a quick get-away. Though don't worry about me hating you, I don't think I am capable of hating you."

Doc: Doc grinned, “That is a powerful statement… good to know.” He winked at her, “Seriously, if you need to help locking Lions down, let me know. I will shoot him for his own good, if I need to.”

Karina Docere: "It is good to know and I mean it." Smiling up at him as he winked at her. "I might need that help, he has this ring that makes it harder to him somehow and then with the eternal bond...yeah...the hall gets hit more than he does. Though..." She couldn't help her girlish curiosity at this point. Rina knew it was the wrong time and the wrong place but they were alone and she couldn't stop herself no matter how much she battled internally to do so. "...if Lions had left or wasn't even in the picture...not threatening to ruin a friendship...do you think we would be this close?"

Doc: Doc rubbed his jaw line, “Not speaking for you.. just myself, I would want to. Like I said, you have a sparkle about you. It’s not something that you can easily hide. I would see it.” He shrugged, “How you would react to me.. a lot sketchier.” Doc knew she had a tender side. A soft side, but she wasn’t stupid. She would not be fooled or duped. “Our experiences make us who we are. If you hadn’t been with Lions.. would you be who you are now? Would you be as accepting? Hard to say.”

Karina Docere: Thinking over his words, she had smiled as he easily flattered her but when it was turned to her possible point of view of him, she shook her head. "I don't think it would be sketchier. You were in Ty before Lions was. I was waiting once again for a ghost that would never return. Would I be who I am now? I don't know really...Nix and Jesse helped with my make-over but honestly...I needed change. Would I have been accepting of you? I have no doubt in my mind that I would have been. There something about you and I'm drawn to it. Besides...in my opinion which Nix disagrees with...you're hot. I honestly think you are like Sean Connery hot...now not when he was young and playing James Bond." She chuckled to herself at the thought and remembered that she told him that she didn't watch movies or
was it that she never watched them. She couldn't remember but she did know that her dancing got in the way of simple pleasures such as television. "I know of him because my parents used to watch his movies before they died. I caught glimpses when I would pass by on the way to the studio or class."

Doc: Doc grinned crookedly, “Old Sean Connery hot.. thank you. I think I will... still, take that as a compliment. “ He decided to ignore the Nix comment. Nix never failed to let him know he was old. “Speaking of movies.. I owe you a movie. But I think you need to find Lions and sort him out first. He is priority. But we still will have a movie night, you can bring Lions.. and I will rope Ari into it some how. She is far too serious for her own good.” he nodded, “She needs to learn to play.”

Karina Docere: Rina perked her brow with a smile on her lips. "That -IS- a compliment. You're sexy as hell and no need to feel shame by it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Got it?" She gave him a matter-of-a-fact nod before she started rocking back and forth on the railing. "You're probably right and if I had to guess...finding him won't be that difficult. Hell...I could just summon him." She perked up a little bit as he continued. "Oooh...that would be awesome though I think she would be out of her comfort zone being away from the couch on the second floor."

Doc: He agreed as he nodded, “She cradles that laptop like it’s a child. It’s ******* unhealthy. I wont tell her that, ‘cause she will ******* shoot me. But I want her to see there is ******* more than that screen. Mainly.. a television screen that shows something *I* understand. She needs some down time. Relaxation time. Play time. Something other than a full bore, whole souled devotion to that computer.” He nodded.

Karina Docere: Chuckling at him, she nodded her head. "Gotcha. She is a hacker so it makes sense because honestly...I have no room to talk given my clinginess to the ritual table."

Doc: He gave her a look. “It is an inanimate object.” He was about to elaborate when quickly went through the inanimate objects he ‘had’ to carry daily. He sighed and nodded giving in, “I suppose I would feel similar if someone tried to take my gun away from me. I will lay off Ari some.. but, I still intend for her get out of that all work no play rut. Alright.. enough of this for now.. you need to go find Lions and have a ‘come to Jesus’ meeting with him.” He winked, “Take no prisoners.”