Waiting

[Klara]

Klara wished she had brought a thicker coat. The apartment was becoming Closter phobic as she waited for Simon to get home from his meeting. A meeting that would either draw them closer or tear them apart. Slipping from the apartment, the slight woman began to walk, her anger slowly leaving with each step only to be replaced by a deep, aching hurt.

“Simon you were to have done this a week ago, why did you put it off? Do I really matter so little to you?” her mind screamed out.

Finding herself at the cliff once more, she sat on the edge, dangling her legs over it and began to toss rocks over the edge. It was odd to think that just a week ago she had almost met her end at this cliff. It scared both Simon and her but thank goodness, he had been watching and was able to save her. She wished there was a way for Simon to look into her heart, if he had any inkling how much he had continually hurt her through all of this and much she loved him, she felt things would be vastly different.

So many hours of talking, fighting and making up only to find he had not done what he said he would do…yet. The thing that bothered Klara the most was both Simon’s and the woman’s behavior. She knew Simon had not slept with her or done anything sexual in any way with her. Her sire and his sire did not believe it and thought Klara was crazy to put her trust in him and believe him but she knew him. He may be thoughtless at times about his actions but she knew he would never betray her that way.

“Why didn’t you just **** her and be done with it” Klara exclaimed to the night.

That she could have forgiven and moved on, but if he was so close to her that he was putting her above his own wife then it could happen in the future. She did not fear a sexual relationship; she feared he would develop feelings for her. She knew her husband, she knew his habits, his wants and desires and she knew human nature.

Klara sighed wishing a comet would just smash into her so it would all be over. She knew she could not live without him but neither could she live with a man that made her feel and would put her feelings second over another woman friend or not. She sat smiling remembering the night she had stood at the edge in this very spot, ready to take a swan dive but he had stopped her.

Simon had taken her home, and let her stay and talked to her for hours. It was the night they started down the path to friendship. She knew he was with Emily but he was in the midst of leaving her or so he said but they were just friends anyways. No romantic feelings, just someone to hang out with and talk too. After a few months of that the attraction was setting in hard and the innocent touches that sent tingles through them both, turned into more touches, and hugs, and kisses, and then everything sexual but actual sex. He could honestly say he had never had intercourse with another woman until after he returned her ring but the things they had done were still wrong. She wondered if she had understood just how involved Simon and Emily really were, would she have done those things with him until it was fully over.

Odd how much this situation mimicked how they met. It was her biggest fear because it happened with her and it could happen again. Odd how her heart felt the same as it did that night she waited for him to return from his talk with Emily. Maybe Doc was right, this was the second time she was in the same spot with him, was this just really a habit for him? Was Crissy right? Would she just continually end up at this crossroads with him?

The thing that hurt the worst was she had not been told about the woman except in passing. She had no clue they were as close of friends as they were until she had shown up at the Halloween party. In the three social time Klara had been near, not once did she even acknowledge she was there, even sitting next to Simon, it was as if she was invisible and now she expected her to believe she wanted to be her friend. If it all were so innocent, why would you snub your friends mate?

Klara threw the rock hard, angry that she would think she was that stupid and that Simon seemed so clueless. Obviously, there were issues they needed to work on to get back to where they were but with her in the picture, he stopped focusing on what was important to run to her beck and call. She wondered did they woman ever question why he never brought his wife or did she even invite her. So many questions and she was not sure she would like the answers.

“Simon, Simon, Simon, please I beg you to do the right thing. Don’t make me make this choice.” She whispered into the cold breeze that had begun to blow, freezing her tears to her cheeks.

[Klara]

As she sat there hours for what seemed like hours, she heard her phone go off, the ringtone telling her it was her husband. She corrected herself former husband. She had to start thinking of him as such. Doc and Crissy had obviously been right and she was just a stupid, pathetic woman who fell to deeply for the wrong kind of man. Klara really had no hope at this point. Her heart told her that even though they loved one another, love was not enough and he was going to have that in his life come hell or high water. It did not matter who he hurt in the process.

When Klara had almost lost him to Emily at the start of their relationship she knew this day may come but she had prayed that he had changed, that he didn’t need the new women all the time, that he honestly could be happy his whole life with the same woman. She understood what the others did not. It was not about sex, it was about companionship. It was about who controlled your time fed the companionship need was ultimately who would control your heart. Sex was merely a symptom that you had already lost something else.

The blue light on her phone kept mocking her each time it blinked. Let her know that her future lie within it. She swiped the screen and saw his words, “WHERE ARE YOU?” She hit reply and told him she was at the cliff thinking. Quickly the phone went off again as Simon asked her to please come home, he needed to talk to her. Klara started to text back but instead closed her eyes to show up standing before him. Her clothes were a little dirty, her face streaked with dirt, she was hold and looked like she had been to hell and back.

Simon picked her up and carried her to the bathroom, not saying a word, just filling the tub with hot water. He tenderly undressed her like a child as she stood mutely watching him. He gently lifted her down into the water where she finally spoke.

“Is she gone?” she asked softly looking up at him, her pain evident in her eyes. “Because if not there is no reason to discuss this further.”

Her body began to tremble waiting for him to answer. He smoothed her hair back and nodded “She is.” A sorrow visible in his eyes but for the first time in her life she could no longer put another’s needs above her own. Tears began to stream down her face as she tried to talk unable to get words out. Finally she sobbed whispering her answer, “Thank you.”

Her body began to shake with all the pent up emotions she had held inside through much of this ordeal. He leaned over holding his wife tightly to himself not caring if he got wet. Simon held Klara as she sobbed the worst of it away. Once she began to quiet, Simon looked at her, all seriousness in his voice, “We’re still married?” She smiled softly and nodded.

He bathed her like a child as they talked about what they needed to do to fix things between them, too regain the closeness they once shared. They both saw that they had let other things get in the way of each other. It did not matter if it was work, friends, or family, they had to put each other first, set boundaries and stick to what they decide. The plan was workable and if two people really loved one another, actually easy to enact and stick too.

The pair talked late into the night, each beginning to heal and looking forward to what the future held. Neither of their determination waning for the future. They both determined never to allow anyone or anything to come between them again.