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Inked Impressions
Posted: 12 Oct 2014, 20:27
by Kleo
I'm digging my way out, I've just barely scratched the surface.
Gotta get it together. Do better.
You're as magnificent as ever.
I'm listening to you, I hear you.
I swear, you're the only thing that makes sense anymore.
I trust you.
How long have we been here?
Is this a test?
People are good people until they're bad people.
It's as frightening as it is calming, to know that everything I need you can provide.
Never put all your eggs in the same basket, they say.
Do they know someone like you?
I don't really have a plan. I don't want to think too far ahead. I've done that before and look where I am.
Time doesn't wait.
Lost moments that could've been, should've been.
It does no good to dwell in regret.
We don't stand a chance.
Time doesn't heal all wounds.
Problems persist.
You can only do so much.
Time is wasting.
Do what you have to do.
Invest in those things which you deem worthy.
Gotta hurry.
-kAa
Re: Inked Impressions
Posted: 13 Oct 2014, 00:53
by Kleo
It feels like the world is waging a war on me tonight. Bullets I can take. A ***** in her sedan not paying attention and running me over? That's the kinda **** that pisses me off. Luckily I don't have a life to lose anymore, but at one point I did. And if I remember correctly, it was due to a similar situation.
Anyway, got quite a bit done today between nabbing oil per request, and talking to B. I've got to get my **** together, seriously, before I push away those who matter most. My mind is still a mess, but I feel like it gets a little bit better each day. Baby steps. I used to be good with emotion. I felt a large range of them, and could articulate how I felt. Now? I don't know who the **** I am. Anger and violence are the only things that come with ease. I need to heal.
The urge to go out and do things is stronger now than it has been in a long time though, which is good. Didn't really see a way out of the rut I was in, so it's pretty amazing to realize I'm making progress.
...And if it felt like the world was testing me before, I'm pretty ******* sure it is now.
Hate to cut this short, but I have a sudden desire to go cause pain.
-kAa
Re: Inked Impressions
Posted: 13 Oct 2014, 14:27
by Kleo
Re: Inked Impressions
Posted: 14 Oct 2014, 00:48
by Kleo
Uneventful night. Did a lot of running around earlier, and again managed to get my hands on some good stuff.
I've had too much time to think tonight, and the result is more questions than I have answers for. I'm a mix of emotions I can't sort through effectively. Am I pissed? Sad? Hurt? A combination of those, or perhaps none of them at all? I don't ******* know, and it's frustrating. What's more, is that it's not even new **** I'm all twisted about. It's the same things it has been for awhile. I honestly don't think I'll ever be satisfied, so maybe expectation adjustments need to be made instead.
On another note, I've decided to get a new mod. I've never gone this long without going under the needle. I've either been so busy or so wrapped up in ******** over the past year, that the thought to get something done didn't have time to marinate. Whether I have time for it now or not though, I've decided to start working on some sketches. There are a few that I haven't tossed, but they're still not skin ready. I'm going to keep working at it.
I think that's enough for now. With tattoos on my mind, I'm going to go pick up my pencils and sketch by the fire.
-kAa
Re: Inked Impressions
Posted: 15 Oct 2014, 22:38
by Kleo
Whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder must've been on some good ****.
I'm feeling some type of way today. I have cops and hunters on my ***. It's my fault, though. I'm the brazen one looting without bombs. I should care but I don't. On the plus side, my stash is on the incline. I'm going to make someone very happy.
I've been doing so good but I feel myself slipping, back into the world of solitude I've grown accustomed to. I'm going to fight it, because I really have had some enjoyable times here lately, and there's at least one person who'd be unimpressed if I gave in.
I'm choosing to believe the best is yet to come. Or, if I don't actually believe it, it still looks good on paper.
-kAa
Re: Inked Impressions
Posted: 16 Oct 2014, 23:09
by Kleo
Si vous vous souciez, vous faites un effort et non une excuse.
-kAa
Re: Inked Impressions
Posted: 17 Oct 2014, 15:02
by Kleo
Something told me L would grow on me quickly, and I was right. It’s funny how things work out that way. People can speculate and talk **** all they want- they don’t know a damn thing about me or what goes on in my life, in any capacity. People are too quick to judge, without getting their facts aligned. Hell, I’m sure I’ve been guilty as well…but I’m trying to get better.
People take me too seriously sometimes. If they knew me at all, they’d know when I’m “for real” and when I’m cracking a joke. Granted, my jokes are sometimes inappropriate and don’t always go over well with the masses, but I don’t live my life to please the masses, do I?
Moving along, L and I had a nice discussion- he shed light on a few things and above all else was just a damn good friend. I didn’t know how much I needed that until he gave it to me. I’m usually an independent “I don’t need anybody” kind of woman, but even I have my days. Or nights. He rose to the occasion. None of my problems have clear cut answers after our talk, but I’m sitting my *** here writing, knowing that there’s someone I can hit up out of the blue when things are going good or bad, who’ll be there with a listening ear and an open heart.
There's someone I can share my undesirable thoughts with. It's refreshing.
I’m grateful.
-kAa
Re: Inked Impressions
Posted: 18 Oct 2014, 05:12
by Kleo
This beauty was stuck to my boot.
-kAa
Re: Inked Impressions
Posted: 19 Oct 2014, 02:49
by Kleo
Went shopping for the upcoming festivities. Didn't see anything that stood out. I'm going to try a few more stores and look online tomorrow.
There's going to be so many people to meet at the party. It seems like there's a new person cropping up every night. It makes me feel weird. L said something the other night that might explain it. I swear, it was like I had one of those ******* "Aha! moments" Oprah used to talk about. However, I'm not ready to admit that to myself...yet. Most of these people seem like they'll be alright though. At least from what I have gathered by talking to them online. Ha!
In other news, I think my eyes are beginning to look normal again. I almost forgot what hazel looks likes on me. I don't know for sure, but I think it has something to do with the fact that overall, I'm getting back to my "old self" emotionally. I still have rocky moments like anyone else, but my good days are finally outweighing the bad.
I'll keep you posted, journal.
-kAa
Re: Inked Impressions
Posted: 20 Oct 2014, 01:15
by Kleo
You get the air out my lungs whenever you need it
You take the blade right out my heart, just so you can watch me bleed
And I still don’t know why
Why I love you so much.
You play this game in spite to drive me insane
I got it tattooed on my sleeve, forever in ink, with guess whose name
But I still don't know why
Why I love it so much.
These lyrics have been on repeat in my mind all night.
-kAa
