Shallow Depth (Nishaa)

[Aysel]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Aysel: She was livid, she had been livid since the day Nishaa was attacked. She wanted action, and she had gotten it. She’d even gotten the killshot on Luffy. Which had brought back a whole ton of memories that she was still trying to process. But the one thing that wasn’t sitting well with her, no matter what she did, was Every. In Aysel’s mind all Every had done when Nishaa had been attacked was to pat her on the head and tell her to run along. And yet, when they were hunting, when they were there for Nishaa, for what had been done, Every had fallen apart. Not when the action was going down, but when Reanna had turned to ash. She had a break down when her friend had died, but not when Nishaa had been attacked. And that stuck in the woman’s craw like nothing else had.

She raked a hand through her hair, then yanked it all into a messy topknot. She changed into her running gear, tight black capri pants, a black sports bra and a well fitted pale blue running jacket. To that she added her black trainers, an iPod and her phone. She headed out the door, glancing at her phone screen as she made her way to the elevator. Heading down to the ground floor, she sent a text to Nishaa. She hadn’t seen her but once since she’d been attacked.

Text: Can you meet me in Thornside Park? I want to run some things by you.

Nishaa: Nishaa hadn't been coping so well, not since she had been attacked. She was ashamed at herself for falling asleep outside the Eyrie, she hadn't meant to. She hadn't meant to do a lot of things but the night she was attacked, her onyx orbs barely opened when she was being attacked, on and on the slaughter came until she was a bloody mess, barely moving, barely enough she had enough energy to tome home and to crawl to the elevator, her neck sopping with blood, her clothes ruined. She had reported the attacks on her to the Tytonidae CrowNet. There was anger in Micah. She could tell the way he replied to her, but the anger was not aimed at her. It was aimed at her attackers, the goons.

Every's reaction to her almost death was what hurt her most. Not her wounds, the words. It was like she didn't care. Your childe almost died, no big deal. She'll live. Nishaa had been pained, and those close to her knew it.

So since the nights of everyone's deaths, faction members included she had confinded herself to the Eyrie, underneath her poker face was guilt, she was riddled with it. She blamed herself for a lot of things, the deaths of her faction members was at the top of that list. In her wallowing her phone buzzed as she turned her orbs to look at it.

Text; I'll be there soon, sis.

Was all she replied with, before grabbing her jacket and tentivly faced her fears; the outside.


Aysel: She could have used celerity to get her to the park, but she chose to run. Her long, loping strides still carried her fast enough that she could hear the wind whooshing past her ears. Fury made her feet pound and she took the most circuitous route to the park that she could. She wanted to be calmer when she saw her Nishaa. But she knew it wouldn’t happen. Fury made her muscles coil and release with every step. She wanted to be tired, she wanted to be breathless. She wanted to feel the burn in her lungs, the ache in her legs. But as a vampire she felt none of that now. And still, she ran almost every night.

Her phone buzzed and she paused to check it. Nishaa was going to meet her. This caused her to smile. Once more she tucked the phone away and started for the park, a faint smile still lingering on her she found a rather isolated picnic table and perched herself on top of the wooden surface, feet planted on the bench. Tucking a wayward strand of hair back into the messy bun, she looked around. Not only was she watching for Nishaa, but for anyone who might be stupid enough to try and attack her. Human or otherwise.

Nishaa: Thornside was such a small distance from the Eyrie, so she wasn't venturing far from her home. She didn't have a hut to claim her own, but she did find the crafting bench a suitable bed. She loved that bench even sometimes she would push Zakar away from It so she could have it all to herself, Nishaa was a selfish ***** at times. Before she had left the Eyrie, she had worried for Abbadon this was the first time she was leaving her since she got wounded a couple of nights back. Her neck had pretty much healed but still the bandage was still there, a reminder of what the goons had done to her.

"Aysel?" She called as she jogged up to Thornside her long legs reached the grass of the park within seconds, her eyes scanned the area for the woman only to find her nestled against a park bench, her hair was messy just like Nishaa's her own had knots embedded, slightly wavy. She didn't care, even her clothes began to smell. She had been crafting traps out of he the items she had, presents they were for Micah. She liked giving presents to the man.

Her features were alert, she was nervous her onyx orbs darted from each person, human and vampire alike for anyone coming towards her. She was sure that Aysel would understand her nerves.

Aysel: “Nishaa.” She said warmly, long limbs tugged the woman on to the table and into a tight, but gentle hug, being mindful of her injuries. “You look like hell darling, and you need a shower.” She teased, passing a hand over her hair. “How are you feeling? Is there anything you need?” She knew it was a lot of questions, and her pale eyes were filled with concern. She had no idea what her relationship with Nishaa had been like before she left, but since her return, Nishaa was the only one who had reached out to her out of the small “family” that was created by Every.

Micah and Velveteen, had of course, reached out to her. Tried to help her understand her confusion. And Velveteen had the grace not to laugh in her face when she had confessed that she thought Micah was her adopted brother. Then there was Zakar, ready and able to answer all her questions with honest candor.

But Nishaa? She didn’t answer questions, and she didn’t ask them either. She just accepted Aysel for who she was now. And that made the Turk feel very protective of her “sister”. Even if Nishaa knew who she had been, she didn’t care, because she accepted her for who she was now. Even to the point where she called her “sis”. That little nickname gave Aysel a warm feeling. She knew vampires tended to frown on human familial terms, but she also knew that if Nishaa and she had been human, Nishaa would still probably give her the nickname. It had nothing to do with humanity and every thing to do with a bond that tied them closer than friendship.

She lightly held the smaller woman, giving her the option to pull away. She knew Nish wasn’t one for outright affection, but something told her that she needed a hug. Needed to be held and no one had done it.

[Nishaa]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Nishaa: Nishaa eyed the woman she had grown to slowly love, over the past few months. It had taken a while. Nishaa liked to be an only child. She didn't accept anyone Every had sired into the family I'm fact she hated Aysel at the start. She even wanted to throw her off a cliff, but there was something in her that made Nishaa slowly admire the girl. She had Valor, and never gave up. She liked to give the woman bouncy balls, she didn't understand the reference, she wasn't a girl, she didn't like shiny objects (unless it was a knife.) but regardless she took them and shoved them somewhere, most of them were in her great backpack. She wasn't sad enough to name them, but by the amount she had currently she could probably do with naming them to telling them apart.

"Feel like it." She said with an eye roll to boot. "Havn't left the Eyrie in days." She told her. With a shrug of her shoulders, she liked Aysel but she wasn't sure she wanted to tell her the exact reason, she considered herself the elder sibling. The younger siblings always, oddly enough looked up to the eldest and right now she couldn't do anything to potentially damage it so instead she smiled.

"If your offering an espresso, but alas. I can't ******* taste it." She said rather glumly. "You okay, sis?" An affectionate endearment she wouldn't call anyone else -- it was only left for Aysel. Though the embrace came, and she stiffened like a statue for a little bit before returning it for no more than a minute, for anyone that was a ******* long time, they should feel lucky.

Aysel: “We can certainly go get coffee. Even if you can’t taste it, something warm to drink might be nice.” She released the woman and looked her over with a half smile. “I wish I could say I was, but I’m not. We’ll get to that later. I want to know what’s going on with you? Why haven’t you left the Eyrie? Why are you practically sleeping on the crafting bench? Want keys to my hut for a shower or bath? Or even to sleep on the couch?”

It was a lot of questions, but she wanted to make sure Nish was being taken care of. And if that meant she would mother hen her, as she had learned to do from her mother-in-law and her mother, then that is what she would do. In fact, it was really a shame Fatima was in the hospital, otherwise, she would sic the Arab woman on Nish and there would be no escaping. She was like a tiny little tornado. A force to be reckoned with. And things often went better when you simply accepted her ministrations and let her nurse you, mind, body and spirit. Aysel wasn’t quite that talented, but she silently promised she would do her best for Nishaa.

Nishaa: There was a sigh, it rolled from her lungs as she blinked at the woman, the fury in which she was launching questions at her, made her head ache uncontrollably. "WOMAN." She hissed, before composing herself. Her fangs showing, like they always were they never went away -- she had ripped her fangs out going on twenty times now to see if they'd finally slip back inside her mouth so she was extra careful when she was outside.

"I don't want to get attacked again." Alas, there was the truth. She shrugged her shoulders, she had acquired the attitude of a scared child, it was unlike Nishaa. She wasn't a child, nor was she easily frightened but the vulnerability that she had showed had rocked her faith in herself. She had believed herself to be a god sometimes, she had assumed being part of a strong faction meant she was invincible, who would touch her and fear their wrath. But, it was tested and she had almost paid the shadowed price of the realms. It had shook her up, to know she could potentially die.

"Been busy making traps, leave me alone." Her back straightened as she began to shake the negative feelings, a small breeze of wind whipped her hair to the left. "Don't put yourself out, it's fine." There was a smile. "The crafting bench is comfortable enough." She said. "I like being close to my toys."

Aysel: “That sounds almost dirty.” She teased, ignoring the hints of hostility. Fear was something the woman understood all too well. Something she lived with every day. She smiled at Nish and picked a metal shaving from the woman’s hair. “It’s not putting myself out, you know. And it’s not having pity on you. What it is, is the fact that you need a shower and I have lots of expensive bath products you could use.” Her tone was light, teasing, but sincere at the same time and she nudged her gently. “You’ll get over the fear. It won’t happen overnight. And it won't be easy. But you have me. And Micah and Velveteen and…” She started to say Every but she knew that wasn’t true. “And the rest of the faction to help.”

She rocked back slightly, stretching her long legs out and flexing her muscles before she relaxed once more. Her eyes found Nishaa’s and it was time for her to be honest as well. “I’m furious.” She stated bluntly, though she appeared calm and controlled. “And furious does not even begin to touch on how I feel. The way Every reacted when Reanna died versus the ‘pat on the head’ that she gave you… it just… it makes me so angry!”

Nishaa: Nishaa gave a shrill laugh. Expensive products, what would Nishaa do with expensive products. She had come from a mental asylum, to the streets to sudden vampire life. What would she need expensive items for? She was used to living on bare minimum, the basics. "I have no use for expensive items I don't mind smelling like a man." She lifted her arm and sniffed at her arm pit, it was not the nicest of smells.

"Maybe I'll take you up on it." A smile that never faltered lay on her lips. Resting there as she turned her eyes to the sidewalk, the wind pushing a leaflet about Solace against the curb. "I know." She said. Her eyes glistened under the night sky. "Micah is... One hell of a gramps." She said, what she meant to say was that she adored him but -- she never admitted such nice things out loud, it showed weakness and Nishaa hated showing such things.

Then.. There was pain, she could see something boiling inside the woman's stare. "I know." She said slowly, calculating her words. There wasn't much she could say she loved Every but sometimes it was the ones you love the most, that hurt you the deepest and Every's words had cut through the Necromancer like a knife. Nishaa wasn't one for crying, but she had. "I know." She repeated again, the pain distinct in her voice.

[Aysel]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Aysel: “I don’t envy you.” She said softly, looking at her for a long moment before continuing. “I don’t feel anything in regards to Every. No emotional attachment, no memories. In a way, I’m lucky, because she can’t hurt me directly you know? She told me she was distant before I left. That we used to be close but then she was distant. But I don’t remember any of it. And it’s times like this where I am really glad I don’t.”

She took a slow breath, her hands curling into fists. She was mumbling it seemed, but in reality, she was counting to ten. Almost silent, and not in English. After several long moments, she felt she had regained her composure enough to speak calmly once more.

“But then, she manages to hurt me indirectly. I see how she treats you. Or doesn’t would be the better word. It’s like she doesn’t care about any of her creations. She has plenty of time for others. But not for those who want it, like you and Szabina. Me? I’m pretty indifferent to her since I don’t know her. And honestly, I don’t feel the need to waste time on someone who treats others so badly. Why would I do that to myself? Why would I open myself up to be hurt in such a way? I wouldn’t. That’s not who I am.” She twisted the wedding set on her finger. “She curled into a tiny little ball of angst when Reanna died. But all she could say when you nearly died was ‘You’ll be fine’. Something just doesn’t seem right there, you know?”

Nishaa: A choke caught at Nishaa's throat. She listened, it was things she hadn't heard before. She didn't get up in peoples ****. It wasn't her place to meddle, she wasn't a meddler unless she reaaaally didn't like them, but that was usually never the case. She had four siblings, none of which she spoke to. The only one who had reached out to was Aysel and that was after a Tytonidae conference, the woman had given her a ball and she had been perplexed, but curious enough to know why she did it, and their relationship had bloomed from there.

Nishaa continued to listen to her words, being indifferent to Every. She understood, and didn't blame Aysel. The two of them had their own issues, and she had always assumed Aysel and Every would make up, and be friends again. She didn't know enough about the sire and childe bond to know what would happen, even with Abbadon she was still learning. She had much to learn. Andras was a good supportive family she was proud to be an active member of. They had helped her with the basics of being a sire.

"Ball?" She asked referring to the last bit Aysel had said. Nishaa had been well composed up until now, but now there was pain, anger, even fear. "Really?" A bloodied tear fell from the woman's eye. The waterfall was threatening to escape, and Nishaa was having a hard time containing it. Someone needed to get her a bucket, or something before she exploded.

Aysel: She reached out and gently wiped the tear away. She didn’t know that this was the first Nish had heard of Every’s reaction and she was kicking herself for hurting her like this. All she did to the question was nod, then pull the woman in to a hug, whether she wanted it or not, she was going to hold her through the pain. She didn’t rock her or croon to her. She didn’t tell her it would be alright. That was for Nish to decide. She simply held her close, comforting as best she knew how.

“Really.” She confirmed sadly, she felt as if she were driving a knife and twisting it deeper as she answered the question. “I wanted to… I wanted to kick her teeth down her throat. I wanted to remove her head from her shoulders. I wanted to make her bleed, to hurt her the way she was hurting you. And I do not think such a reaction is normal.”

Nishaa: There was a moment where she felt such pain, such anger that she eyed the bench up and considered snapping if in half but stopped herself. There was a switch in her mind, and flipped. The emotions, the pain, it vanished. She had been overloaded with so much information, so many emotions that she shut herself down. Her features softened, her onyx orbs became dull, and distant.

"Hmmm." She said, her tone held no emotion, no pain it had simply evaporated from her.

"It's a perfectly natural reaction." She told her, with a smile. "I would too, except. I feel numb, so I can't tell you what I feel." Her arms lifted up to her neck, fingers entwining with the dirty bandage as she pulled it free from her neck her fingers dragged gently across the skin as it revealed a tiny scar that was almost healed, the last remnants of two gunshots to the neck.

Nishaa returned the hug, patting the woman's shoulder every so often. "If she wishes to truly be so devastated by someone else dying - instead of her childer, that had almost died. Then let her." She shrugged how else to explain it. "If it makes her current childer distant then it is her own fault. Not ours." Her words were brash, cold but the truth.


Aysel: “No truer words have been spoken.” She paused and eyed the woman quietly, taking in the small, puckered scars she could see. She shook her head and sighed. The sound didn’t convey any sort of emotion, just a rushed exhale of useless breath.

“I’ve been thinking… maybe of being disenthralled from Every. She obviously wants nothing to do with me, and frankly, at this point, I want nothing to do with her. I know Micah wouldn’t make me leave Andras if I did that. But it would be a way to cut ties with her. She’s always going to be my creator, but that doesn’t mean I have to stay attached to her, you know?” Like Nishaa, there was no emotion in her words. She felt distant from the idea, almost detached. Much in the same was she was indifferent (mostly) to Every. Cutting the ties would be one small way to free herself from the weight that was the woman who created her.

[Nishaa]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Nishaa: Nishaa thought for a moment. Nodding her head slowly. "Disenthralled?" Yes, Nishaa had heard of such a ritual. She was no ritualist herself, she had sometimes thought about playing with the fae. It seemed almost.. Fun. There was no sound of sarcasm, no sound of fun in voice. It was rather monotone, all one pitch. She didn't blame her sister for wanting to cut ties, in fact she was almost surprised - if the emotion could be conveyed currently at the woman she would have. She would support the woman if she wanted to sever her Andras ties from from the woman and choose her own path.

"If you wish it." She said, her words seemed a bit more empty so she tried to fill them a little more, so it didn't seem she was so dismissive. "I mean, I understand." She nodded. "If you choose to sever your ties with our sire. I would not hold it against you, if this is what you think I would do. Instead I respect you for making such a decision."

She paused, trying to find the correct words. "You will still be my sister." She told her. They shared the same sire, they shared the same blood, they were family.

Aysel: “And you’d be mine. I wouldn’t be leaving you. Or Andras, or Tytonidae. Just cutting ties with that woman.” There was venom in her voice, the words practically spat from her lips. She didn’t even want to say her name any more. It left a foul taste in her mouth. Once again she closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose as she counted to ten. Once. Twice. Three times. She blinked, then smiled at Nish.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever had a sister before. Every thing I know about my past from my journals doesn’t mention one. You’re the first sister I’ve ever had. And I couldn’t have chosen a better one if I tried. You know that?” She meant every word. No matter where she went, or what this city did to her, Nishaa would always be her sister. Forced together by circumstance and the same creator, they didn’t have to be friends, or even sisters. But they were, and AJ thanked Allah for that small comfort every night. Without the small collection of people that she trusted wholeheartedly, she didn’t know what she would do. Zakar, Nishaa, Micah, Velveteen. These were the people that sustained her night after night. People she was privileged to know and love. People who loved her in return.

Nishaa: Nishaa nodded her head slowly, the dark hair caressing her shoulders. It was odd, to be confiding in someone she was the type of person to pent up all her anguish and keep it to herself. She had confided in someone she had grown to love it was a strange feeling, the pit of her stomach rattled in comfort. A weight lifted from her shoulder blades. The woman nodded again, showing a sign of understanding.

"Aye." A minimal amount of emotion showed this time, she opened the window to her emotions a crack. Being numb was horrible but sometimes needed. Nishaa had never had a sister before either, to have one now was odd.

"I had a brother?" She added into the conversation, as if it was important. "But I killed him" she added, her tone a little sad she had indeed killed her brother, because she belived in the devil. "I was a morbid child, then I went to a mental asylum." Locked away in a straight jacket for years, never having acceptance and warmth of another's touch.

"I... Appre--" Words of love were hard to say, especially for someone who didn't trust easily. "I like you too." The words rushed, but the sentiment was there.

Aysel: She grinned and shoulder checked her lightly. “I killed some of my brothers. I don’t remember it. But it’s in my journal. According to what I read, I was the middle child of eight. I had seven brothers. Seems I killed three of them, along with my father and my uncle. I don’t know why though, I never wrote that down.”

She shrugged and smiled. It was strange to her, not remembering her past. The journals seemed like they belonged to someone else, even though the handwriting in it was her own delicate script. She pushed the thoughts aside and eyed the woman.

“C’mon, lets go back to the Eyrie. I’ll get you a set of keys and you can come and go as you please. Even if that means you still sleep on the crafting bench.”

Nishaa: A meek laugh erupted from her lips as she nodded her head. Yes, now she didn't feel so alone. She wasn't the only one who had morbidly murdered her sibling(s). Her tired eyes looked to Aysel with a nod of her head. Her emotions had been swallowed enough not to feel sad, or angry at Every instead she wanted to forget it, and perhaps have a bath when Aysel wasn't looking.

When she was in a better mood, she would have to process tonight's talk and figure out how she really felt about Every and her reaction to Reanna's death compared to her almost death. She wanted to know where she stood on Every's little scale.

"Alright." She said, as she followed Aysel back to their home the treehouse. A bond, slowly growing stronger between the two. Odd.