Confession [Jesse]

[Axel Rosen]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

<Axel Rosen> Strix has been out of the apartment for sometime, he assumes she's at work but doesn't really know. His phone is on the coffee table and he makes his way over there the pull up his sire's number. Now that he's no longer with Nix, and she's pissed him off so bad he doesn't wanna talk to her, there are only a few people in his recent messages - Jesse, Paige, Strix. Otherwise, he's deleted some people from his phone and manually blocked one of them. His fingers text a message to his sire, even though he could speak into his mind - 'Hey. What are you up to?'. The send button is there, he presses it. Even though he could speak into his sire's mind, he thinks that Jesse isn't a fan of that.

<Jesse Fforde>There are a few things that Jesse could be doing. He should be down in the sewers hunting more Paladins, but he's already done some of that tonight. Grey has ... well, the woman is independent and can do as she pleases. Jesse assumes that, once again, she has gone to work - though he didn't let her go until they'd had a nice long shower together, he making his injuries out to be worse than they were, to begin with, because he likes it when she plays nurse. Now, however, he's sitting at the small desk in the corner of the apartment, working on the design that he'd said he's work on for Strix. The phone buzzes, vibrating across the surface of the desk. He picks it up, arches a brow, and responds: "Drawing."

<Axel Rosen> The one word answer while at times irritating, is at the present moment all that he needs to know at the moment. Jesse would only really be drawing for one thing, most of the time. His gut is currently bleeding heavily. His hand flicks the screen back to text him back: 'Nice, wanna hang out for a bit?' Axel throws on a shirt, sure that even if his sire says 'no', that he would go somewhere. Maybe the forge at the Eyrie.

<Jesse Fforde> The design is only in its beginning stages. The outline of Jessica Rabbit, pinup style - and he was glad that Strix had asked for that particular style, as it was Jesse's favourite. Swishes of lines and flourishes surround Jessica Rabbit. They will, soon enough, turn into flowers of some description. And, somewhere amongst them, the name that Strix wants hidden. Or maybe the name can be hidden upon Jessica Rabbit herself. He has a few different ideas, and he'll present them all to Strix. The phone buzzes again, and Jesse leans back, surveying his work before responding. "If you're home, you can come to 702. Or I can come to you."

<Axel Rosen> Again the buzz, because it's better than the ring he has decided for Jesse. Imperial March - because deep down Axel's lame and clinging to fantasy at times to make himself seem more sane. He texts his answer back. "I'll be right there." Writing a note for Strix - 'Down stairs with my sire', he heads to the door and leaves. The elevator is a quick ride and he waits for the doors to open. Axel doesn't knock as he gets to the door. He grins at Jesse as he moves the seat nearest to him, but not actually at the desk. "What you working on?"

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse turns to face Axel as he walks through the door, not taking his eyes from his childe as he meanders into the apartment and sits nearby. Jesse is barefoot, wearing only a pair of track pants. He's at home, and has no need for anything else. Axel's lucky that he hasn't caught Jesse wandering around naked. He gestures to the design with a **** of his head. "A design for Strix. Jessica Rabbit," he says. "I met her last night," he says, watching Axel curiously.

<Axel Rosen> "Jessica Rabbit is a good... what's the word", he pauses for a moment and then leans his head back, "fit? I guess that word works. For her." He chuckles a little bit, running his hands over his black pants. "I had told her that Jessica Rabbit would be a good costume for one of the Altaire events." He nods his head. He's not sure if Jesse's super busy with it or not. Though if Axel had walked in on his sire naked, he would have just used his powers to blind himself. It would have been easier than keeping them shut, because Axel has a habit of wanting to keep eye-contact while talking.

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse isn't hindered by the company. He could keep working while talking to Axel, but he doesn't. Instead, he has swivelled around to fully face his childe, one ankle up and resting on the opposite knee, and his charcoal stained fingers resting upon his thighs. He is completely relaxed, and at ease. "We're planning a party, Strix and I," Jesse says with a smirk. "It's not going to be a costume party though, if I can help it. I don't know what the ******* fuss is about all these themed events..." he says, shaking his head. "Did you make it to the Altaire thing last night?"

<Axel Rosen> "Planning a party?" Axel doesn't seem to be too interested. If there's one thing that's known about Axel that's the fact that he's generally not a big socializer with big groups. He's not a fan of get togethers, and tends to just want to blend into them. He'd prefer if the people that are good at them sort of make them happen and just let his attendance be noted. "Themed events are... meh. No I didn't make it to the Altaire thing. I got the invite, but I'm not going to subject myself to Nix's bitching or even her whining." He states, not sounding as annoyed as the words should.

<Jesse Fforde> "Mm. I was hunting Paladins. And after you'd told me that she thinks I'm a liar and that she blames me for... whatever, I didn't think my presence would be conducive to a good time. I assume Strix told you she gave Paige **** for joining Andras?" Jesse asks. Paige is Axel's childe, after all. And Jesse wants to make sure, in the end, that they are all comfortable, and they do not have any regrets.

<Axel Rosen> "No... no one told me that", at first he had misunderstood what his sire had said, but now he understands that it was Nix, not Strix, that had given Paige crap for joining. "Though Strix and I didn't really talk last night after she came home. I heard her come in but I was already in bed." He thinks for a moment and then breathes out a little bit. "I'll have to talk to Paige and see how she had taken the crap from Nix. He's sure that Paige, didn't do what Paige normally would when confronted for a few reasons - the fact that Nix would end her being the first.

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse nods. "Strix said she made sure Paige was okay. And how are you getting on with... everything?" he asks. He doesn't ask about Renee or Ursula. Renee had refused the invite to join Andras, and so Jesse knows she's probably in Phoenix's good books, at least for the time being. And Ursula seems to have settled in quite nicely to Andras - getting along splendidly with the lot of them. He's not too worried about Ursula.

<Axel Rosen> He makes note of this, of how to start a conversation with Paige later, as he still wants to check in on her and how she took it. He looks at Jesse and then leans back into his chair. Everything is pretty broad on what to be okay with or getting on with things. He stares blankly at Jesse for a few seconds. "Well. After having murdered several hunters with you in the sewers the other day... I don't feel as shitty. It's good to know that you don't really judge me anymore", he give his sire a look, fairly sure that it's true, "for having been with Nix. Or that's how it feels." Fingers curl at the sewn line of his pants, "Other than that, just sort of taking it a day at a time, enjoying my family and faction. Spending time with Paige."

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse nods. He's not about to defend himself. "I was fine with it, in the end. To a degree. Phoenix seemed to have made moves to try mend the rift between us. I was willing to meet her in the middle, until she started demanding that I admit to missing her. Demanding that I apologise. I'm not sure what I have to apologise for, beyond what I have already apologised for. I thought about what it was she wanted from me - I talked to Velveteen - and decided that it was not the best course of action. She's got plenty of reasons to be pissed at me too, but I can't apologise for it," Jesse says. He's more open about his feelings about Phoenix with Axel, than he was with Strix. "I don't trust her, Axel. And the way you were with her that one fight night - it was a blow. I'll be honest. But I am a big boy and I got over it. I do think this is better for you."

[Jesse Fforde]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

<Axel Rosen> Jesse expresses himself with words, and in a way, Axel is really grateful that he can speak once again. Being able to communicate in this way - without paper, texts, etc, is nice in and of itself. He understands that Jesse doesn't feel he should have to apologize for things, but doesn't question what they are. While Axel trusts his sire, and it appears that his sire trusts him enough to tell him things, Axel still feels that there are somethings that are between Jesse and Nix. "Demanding that you say you miss her is rather needy. That's kind of sad for her, not that I feel bad for her. It's just sad that the big-bad-Nix needs you to miss her." He shrugs his shoulders. "I think it's better for me too.. Fight night was mainly because you were destroying yourself... I didn't really know how to cope." So the confession begins. Trying to tell Jesse that he 'loves' him like one loves God. "You... How do I put this." He pauses, placing his hand on his chin before leaning forward. "You mean a lot to me. To see you acting in such a way, actually hurt to a point where I didn't know what to do. So I... crawled back into an introvertive ball." He doesn't know how to explain it... "I know it likely didn't seem that I cared.. But there are tons of things I don't often speak about when it comes to the topic of you and I because I don't understand it.

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse arches a brow, unable to keep the smirk from dancing at the corner of his lips. It's not that he's laughing at Axel, but because he's got his ego back. And Axel is feeding that ego like nothing else could. He's quite happy to abandon the topic of Pheonix - he's sick of talking about her. He, too, leans forward in his chair. "If I'd known you were in love with me, Axel, I'd have suggested we find a back room somewhere," he says, voice low, eyebrows wiggling. He laughs, a whisper of a thing. He's not at all serious. He doesn't bat for that team - has never tried, and doubts he ever will. He rubs his palm over the stubble of his short hair, and sighs, regaining serious composure. "I was going through a lot of ****. I was suicidal. I wanted to die. For so long - it would have helped, if you were at my side. As it was, I had none of my own childer with me. I had only Paige, Renee, and Ursula. They were... a balm. See - Velveteen and Micah helped me to figure it out. Or, they figured it out for me and forced me to do things that I didn't want to. But if they hadn't? I'd likely be dead by now," he explains.

<Axel Rosen> His sire smirks at him and he feels almost bad that he's even begun to out these feelings, that he should have probably just keep them locked in. "It's not a love.. like that. It's something different. A deeper meaning that romance. If it were that, while confused, I would understand it. This I don't understand at all." Axel has never tried love with another man; however, he knows that it's not that. He would be able to see that in himself, as he's been romantic with women and in his eyes he doesn't think that he'd act any differently if he were in love that way with his sire. Jesse explains what was going on and that he wanted to die. "I apologize. I just couldn't watch you hurt yourself. I am sorry. You have me now and I'm not going anywhere again." He thinks for a moment, "As your childe, I look up to you. And should have seeked you out to be there for you. I'm sorry."

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse simply watches Axel for a long moment or two. Jesse doesn't understand it either, this devotion that Axel is admitting to. He doesn't understand it because of how absent Axel had been, lately - though Jesse assumes that if the roles were reversed, he'd probably have done the same. He'd have tried to avoid it, if it's something that felt forced. As Axel explains it, it doesn't seem as if it's something natural. But something unnatural. Something that Axel himself might not necessarily choose. Jesse knows that he'd loathe it if forced to be devoted to someone. "It's fine," he says. "I wasn't such a great person to be around, anyway," he adds with a frown. "I suppose you did yourself a favour by skipping that particular...time in my life," he says with another smirk.

<Axel Rosen> At first the devotion to Jesse was forced, and he had to find away to maybe get rid of it? In time though, he didn't want to get rid of it, he just wanted it to lessen it's severity. "I've found that the only way to make the ... feeling be less drastic is to spend time with you. Being close to you, talking to you." He nods his head and then smirks back, "While you may be rigt about skipping that time, I wish I could back track, but being that I don't know of a power that turns back time. I'll have to settle for trying to make things up to you now."

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse nods. He's not so good with sentiment. He doesn't do it often, and changes the topic, or finds something to laugh at as soon as things get too heavy. "Just so long as you don't start calling me Master and start acting like some kind of slave, we're sweet," Jesse says, eying Axel warily. "If I start hating on myself and acting like some kind of ******* emo kid, slap me, yeah? Tell me it's time to go turn someone," Jesse says with a snort. Not that he thinks he'll descend in depression again without realising, himself. Without knowing himself what needs to be done. But, just in case, it's probably good if someone other than Velveteen and Micah know what's up.

<Axel Rosen> "Turn someone?" He asks his sire for more information about what is going on. How would turning someone really help Jesse be pulled out of a funk. He has no real way of knowing. He doesn't understand. The best thing to do is just to wait for an answer, even though he starts to wonder what all it could fix. "Master, no. Jesse is a perfectly appropriate name enough." He grins back at his sire then waits for the answer.

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse nods and leans back. "Yeah. Don't ask me why. I think... somehow, just by talking to me, Velveteen and Micah figured it out. I... think I hated myself. Was ashamed. Thought that I had failed the lot of you," Jesse says, dropping a hard glance at Axel. "All my childer had disappeared and I assumed it was something that I had done. Or not done. I was always concerned about not having them around, and, for a while, turned into a bit of a pyro. I enjoyed creating things. I got a kick out of it. Vel and Micah had a hunch. Phoenix stabbed my eyes out and I ended up back at the Eyrie - they locked me up, didn't let me leave until they forced me to sire someone. After that? I was fine. Perfectly dandy. No suicidal thoughts. No shame. Same old ego, back where it should be," he explains.

<Axel Rosen> "Well. If it happens again, I'll be sure make sure you sire someone else." He nods his head a little before standing up and making his way over to the desk where his sire is working. He looks at the sketch of Jessica Rabbit. It looks well done, anything Jesse does look great. "I should let you get back to work huh?"

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse does wonder when it'll end. How many people will he end up siring, just to keep himself from diving off the deep end? It's almost far too soothing to imagine an army of Fforde progeny; and he supposes that's part of the curse. The way he feels, when he sires, is unlike anything else. Though he doesn't think any forged bond could compare to what it was like with Grey. Ever. He's lost in thought as Axel approaches. He glances down at his own work, wondering what it would look like from someone else's perspective. Jesse shrugs. "Whatever," he says. He's easy either way.

<Axel Rosen> "I'll head out. I need to go see how many blades I have in my collection to turn into better stuff." He nods his head and looks at the piece of work again. "This'll look great. I'd love to be there if I didn't think that it would likely be boring to watch someone else get work done." He chuckles a little bit, not really sure where Strix iis getting the work done anyway. He hasn't asked yet. "I'd like to spend more time with you though, so I'll be around more often, texts, etc." Turning around he goes to the door, willing to leave his sire for a time being. Though he doubt's he'll be without contact for longer than twenty-four hours. He'll likely text the man tomorrow, to keep himself from self-doubt.

<Jesse Fforde> Jesse smirks. He doesn't think it's boring watching other people get inked, but it is his trade. He learns by watching others; he learns, and can teach, too, if the artist in question is an apprentice, or if they do things differently. In the end, Jesse is fascinated by the entire process; by the people who decide they want a tattoo. Although he never asks he does try to figure out their story. Why that tattoo, and why in that position? He nods. "Have fun. I'll likely head back to the sewers soon - maybe see you there," he says, saluting Axel as he makes his way out.