Path of the Vampire forum

Shes a Southern Bell
That can raise some hell.
Raised on Mozart but
lives on Motley Crue.
Oh I'm askin' ya.
What was I supposed to do?

(Because)
She rocks out to Poison
in her Prada heels.
Sips her wine but
rather shoot whiskey.
She's her momma's Southern Bell,
but my Southern Comfort.

((OOC: This is the start of a song of my own creation. If you have something to offer for it, please PM me. Just please do not take it as your own.))

I don't get why he is so distant from me. I shrug it off like I don't care, because I don't really. But a part of me does, and I don't know why. I just wish he would talk more. Or I could find new people to talk to. I have tried making friends in the family, and so far the only person outside of him to talk to me is this one person. I have to assume they are crazy, or at least mentally ill. It was only over text message, so I don't even know if they are male, or female, or their name. Their name would be handy. I like to avoid the crazies. Speaking of crazies, he said he only sired me for an experiment. Which is fine and all. I can't remember before hand so I can't say I care about the loss of my human life. I feel like I am adjusting nicely to this vampire thing even. Its just... Who sires someone only to see what happens? I don't have any interest in siring, but if I were to do such, I do not believe I would do it for the same reasons. No matter, I am strong now. I enjoy this. So it works out either way.

Oh, back to friends. Yes, I do believe some friends are in order, but how to go about it? I can't exactly start posting on the Crow Net. There seem to be a lot of hostility between different families, and I can't go making friends with the wrong person, or be the wrong person and get killed, or worse, get him killed because I submitted a post. That would suck.

Today just wasn't my day. I was shot. Twice. First by a police officer who failed to even so much as get my attention before he unloaded in to my gut. Next, by some bald guy in the sewer.

**** today.

Apparently someone has asked Roderic if he and I were dating. He thinks it was Nix, he can't remember. But how odd would that be, a sire and sired dating? I don't know how common that is, but I can't imagine it is common place. I mean, I can tolerate him. I even favor his company, but date? He is my sire. That is just absurd. Between you, I, and this pen, I do sort of fancy him. I highly doubt he thinks the same of me. He doesn't seem interested in such matters.

Oh, and apparently the Rev fellow who was a jerk the other night is always a jerk. He can be a jerk around people who are not me from now on.

He said it was all fun and games, but I still don't like that he was hurt. Or that he randomly gives me money. I mean, yeah, I like that. Who wouldn't? But I don't need it and I feel bad that he is giving it to me.

For some reason I can't kill anything anymore. I don't like that either.

I think I may be starting to remember some things from my human life. The 8th was apparently my birthday according to my ID. I don't know what to think about this, and Roderic has gone nonexistent so I can't exactly talk to him. I feel like I am going crazy. I can feel memories trying to come back, and they are so close I can almost touch them, but then nothing. It is so frustrating.

I haven't seen or spoken to him in what seems like ages, and it is bothering me greatly. For a while it seemed like we may bond and be close, but now I don't know. I don't know how to track him down to make contact, or where he lurks now.

Also, I am up to my ears in ears. I need to find Nix soon aswell.

See. this is why I don't this blended family thing.
Most of them are cool people.
Yes.
I will grant them that.
But this *****?
This ***** will not walk away from this.
I hope she isn't a shadow. Shadows don't bleed.
I want to bleed this **** dry.
I want to erase her body from this earth with a ******* bench grinder.
NOBODY hurts my sire.
He is the only person I give a **** about in this god forsaken city.

On another note, I keep forgetting about this journal thing. I bought it to keep track of my thoughts, but now they are all so... weird. I think I am dreaming sometimes, but I am wake. I know I am. I will heard odd voices yelling when I am on the subway, but nobody else seems to hear anything. I thought only telepaths went crazy. Krazy Killer Katerina. Wait... I hope they don't abbreviate my new nickname when they have to lock me in the looney bin.

They're coming to take me a way, HA HA!

I miss my sire.
I didn't think that was possible.
He was just somebody.
But I miss him.
******.

So, Mr. Journal... or are you a Ms? Oh god. I use you so little that I don't know you. I don't even know what gender you identify with or if you are bigender. I am a horrible journal owner. I'll get to know you, I promise.

But Roderic has this broad hanging around him a lot. I don't like her. She seems quick to anger and overly emotional. Not a good fit for my sire. I will have to observer her more to determine if she is only an annoyance to him or if she is a potential threat that I will need to deal with. I am so bored I hope it is the latter. I mean, I wish he would find someone to be happy with. He is a great guy and he deserves that, but someone that high strung is not a fit. She wont do. I mean hell, I am quite literally objectified on a daily bases. People that are not my sire call me "thing". That is not a name for them to use. Only he may use that name. I am his thing, and he is my maker. It fits. When other people call me that it does not fit. It will not do for them to use that name. And she went all emotional because I called her "that". She will not do. But I digress, I miss my sire, still. The situation has not improved and I am becoming more introverted than even I would like. I have a few friends, yes. But I am not as close to them as I am my sire. He is the only person I have any sort of bond with. The Altaire family is about as cool as it gets, but I am not bonded to any of them. I would fight and die for any of them, but not because I care. It is my duty. Roderic gets me. I don't know if I was like this before he turned me, or if some of his personality, or lack there of, rubbed off on me as my body accepted his blood. I will never tell him this, but not having contact with him for so long has hurt. Physically hurt. Only way I can describe it is as if someone attached a rope to me and then started tugging on that rope with out me budging. Over a prolonged period of time, the area the rope is attached to becomes sore. My bond with him hurts. God I am getting sappy, I will stop that. Its unnecessary.

Point being I miss my sire, and that girl, (yes I said girl. A real woman would never act as she does. A woman conducts herself with pride, dignity, and a level of decorum that would never allow for what the girl did this evening.) will simply not do. I need to get him a V-Date account or something.

p.s. I'd never **** her, as she requested. She simply isn't my type.