Delusions, Hallucinations, and Hypo-mania … Oh My! [OPEN]
Posted: 27 Apr 2014, 04:07
I feel good tonight, really good. The best I have felt in months. Of course I am home now, or at least the closest to a home I am ever going to get. Looking at the walls of Larch Court, I can't help but to feel antsy. I need to do something, to get out and live for once. For so long I have been the 'good-girl'. The person I was expected to be. Tonight though I am going to have fun. Dancing around my room, to music that only I can hear I smile to myself.
Finally I am just going to let go, to let myself simply be me. Control was nothing I wanted anymore, now I just want to be free again. Tonight would be fun, at least the best fun I could manage. Standing in my new room I look down at the outfit I put on. I haven't worn anything like this, in years. The black mini dress fits perfectly, the six inch black heels match. I smile, my hair in loose curls around my shoulders, and a white gold necklace around my neck with a large ruby amulet hanging from it.
I feel gorgeous, I feel so alive. Which is a strange thing to think, meaning technically I am dead. Or something near to that. I don't fully understand how all of that works, and right this moment I do not care. Smiling I walk out of Larch Court, I don't have any certain place in mind tonight. I only have one goal. To have fun.
Once outside I smile, the wind blowing across my skin I feel so alive. I can hear the music humming within me. I see the people walking past me, and I smile. I wonder what they see, though I can't say I really care right now. First I should feed, but I want to have fun with it, I want to enjoy it. I am sick of just taking what is needing and then being done, I need more now. So much more.
The lights shining from the buildings, and the sounds rolling from them make me look all around myself. I know I am humming out loud as I spin in a circle beginning to laugh. I don't care about the people around me, I am not doing anything no normal person would. Shrugging off my amazing sensations I continue to walk through the city.
Finally I am just going to let go, to let myself simply be me. Control was nothing I wanted anymore, now I just want to be free again. Tonight would be fun, at least the best fun I could manage. Standing in my new room I look down at the outfit I put on. I haven't worn anything like this, in years. The black mini dress fits perfectly, the six inch black heels match. I smile, my hair in loose curls around my shoulders, and a white gold necklace around my neck with a large ruby amulet hanging from it.
I feel gorgeous, I feel so alive. Which is a strange thing to think, meaning technically I am dead. Or something near to that. I don't fully understand how all of that works, and right this moment I do not care. Smiling I walk out of Larch Court, I don't have any certain place in mind tonight. I only have one goal. To have fun.
Once outside I smile, the wind blowing across my skin I feel so alive. I can hear the music humming within me. I see the people walking past me, and I smile. I wonder what they see, though I can't say I really care right now. First I should feed, but I want to have fun with it, I want to enjoy it. I am sick of just taking what is needing and then being done, I need more now. So much more.
The lights shining from the buildings, and the sounds rolling from them make me look all around myself. I know I am humming out loud as I spin in a circle beginning to laugh. I don't care about the people around me, I am not doing anything no normal person would. Shrugging off my amazing sensations I continue to walk through the city.