Heart to Heart [Paige]

[Jesse Fforde]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

* Paige was sitting with her eyes closed on a beanbag chair in the game room. The Larch Court residence was often quiet, which meant that it was safe. She had come to meditate after being assaulted by two thieves in one night. The thief problem was getting out of hand. While Paige was fast enough to save her money more often than not, it was still an insult, especially when the thief managed to get away. What if it was the same thief? Paige growled softly at the thought. Being stalked by a thief.


* Jesse Fforde silences the roar of the motorcycle outside of number twelve. He leaves the helmet hanging off the handlebar as he steps up to the door and slides in the key. He had noticed Paige coming and going on the security feed, which he could access from his phone, which alerted every time the sensors were triggered. He realised he should spend more time at Larch Court, so that he might be easier to find for the three girls - the only ones who seemed to care anymore. He knew that Paige was already inside. He stepped in and peeled away the leather jacket, which he leaves hanging by the door. Underneath he's wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, a skull painted on the front. He approaches the lounge and drops into one of the armchairs. "Paige. How's life?"


<Paige> She opened her orange eyes and stared at her sire's sire, then closed them again. "Thieves. Everywhere," she whispered in irritation. It seemed that the adolescent could not step foot inside a single building without a thief trying to pick her pocket. To make matters worse, she did not have pockets. She was wearing a unitard and boots, not that that detered thieves. It frightened everyone else away, but not them.


* Jesse Fforde gives half a smirk. Thieves have always been a problem and Jesse assumes they always will be. "They used to piss me off, too," he starts, his voice not as husky as Paige's, but husky regardless. They are quite a pair. "If you start to learn to admire them - and don't carry too much cash around - it makes it easier," he says. "I mean, sure, if it'll alleviate frustration, kill them. Quickly and quietly. But if you can't...." he gives a shrug.


<Paige> If she can't, then there is no reason to be so angry, Paige knew. Jesse always seemed to have his priorities together, even if Paige did not realize his issues beyond seeing a brief vulnerability during the meth lab explosion. It was a moment that she rarely thought about, if ever. She was more excited about the other things that had happened that night. "They are fast," she admitted and tried very hard to smile. It looked more like a lion-fanged grimace.


* Jesse Fforde admires Paige's lion-fanged grimace. There are those who might find it odd or disconcerting, but Jesse likes it. He grins back at her. "Exactly. If they manage to take something from me and get away? I should try to learn from them, really. They have... ninja-like qualities that I envy," he says.


* Paige brooded about that for a moment, which made her lapse into a ponderous silence. She crouched on the beanbag chair still as a spider and finally looked at Jesse again. "I will learn from them," she promised. There was an ominous air to her words, because she planned on learning through capture and interrogation. Not tonight, though. Tonight she wanted to stay inside. It was why she had come to the family compound and not to her cabin or Axel's apartment.


* Jesse Fforde knows, by the weight of Paige's words, that she means it. He watches her, equally ponderous and equally silent, for more than a few moments. Although Jesse may be a man with an ego, sometimes, he's also mature about the way he handles said ego. Watching Paige, he wonders if there's not some things that he could learn from her. "How will you learn from them?" he finally asks, curious.


<Paige> "The first one I catch, I will ask them," she explained with a clenched bony fist. "And if they do not cooperate, I will make them. I am very fast and it is not right that they know how to escape so easily. I should be able to catch them with how fast I am." Dexterity and Strength were her main suits.


* Jesse Fforde nods, knowingly. Ask them? Sure. He has a feeling she'll be asking with that bony clenched fist rather than with so many words. But Jesse isn't going to judge. "You should let me know. If you catch one. Can I watch?" he asks, though he'll respectfully keep his distance if Paige doesn't want him to watch. He's comfortable there, with her - something about her presence, just like Renee's and Ursula's, is soothing.


* Paige blushed and nodded. Normally she was possessive of her "alone time" dealings with others, but Jesse had not laughed at her or scolded her for how she acted at the meth lab. "I will text you as soon as I catch one," she told him, then asked "Would you try to catch one the next time you see it?"


* Jesse Fforde grins again - he can't recall the last time he grinned without it being fuelled by some kind of self-loathing. "Yes. Last one to catch one is a rotten egg," he says, laughing at the childish thought before leaning forward slightly. He cants his head to the side. "Funny. They are living things and yet we talk about them like they're objects. 'Its'," he ponders. It's just one of the ways in which he has changed - some people are just lesser beings.


<Paige> The Russian was not familiar with the last one is a rotten egg joke, so she seemed to take it seriously and nodded with a straight face. Paige thought about what he said, she had never really thought about it like that before. When had humans gone from being he and she, to it? Did it make her feel better about being outfoxed by those thieves. "I can't remember their faces," she admitted finally. "I don't think about any of the humans I see as people. I know that they have families because I have killed families." She preferred to kill families, actually.


* Jesse Fforde gazes at Paige again with the curious stare, as if trying to penetrate the outer edge of her skull to get to the mind underneath. She is cold, but Jesse doesn't quite believe she is unfeeling because of it. And she is deadly serious - about everything. "I was joking. The rotten egg thing," he says.


<Paige> Paige seemed to shrink a little when he looked at her like that. Was he going to ask about the families? It had only been a few. Back when she was a very young vampire, and hadn't been taught how to cover her tracks very well. She remembered everything she had done, and most of all how the families were arranged afterward. They had been perfect in death. Just as she was about to explain that, Jesse mentioned the rotten egg. "A Canadian joke?" she asked and smiled a little.


* Jesse Fforde shrugs and shakes his head. "I'm not sure? Worldwide joke, maybe," he says. "Western World," he adds with the arch of a brow. He's not sure where he first heard the expression or why it got stuck in his head. Maybe it isn't such a well-known expression. Again, he shrugs. It's not all that important. "So you are... Russian?" Jesse asks. He realises that he knows next to nothing about Paige's past, and he's going to take this opportunity to find out, if she's willing to share.


<Paige> She nodded. Just because she didn't talk about her history, did not mean that she would refuse if her sire's sire asked her. "Nobody asks," she said with the same slight smile. Her own sire didn't know where she had come from, only that she was a former paladin he had transformed into a vampire. In the end, was it really important? The girl stubbornly dismissed any misgivings about it. This was one of the few real conversations she'd had with anyone since her capture, and if it expanded past the normal niceties, she would deal with it.


* Jesse Fforde cants his head to the side again. Nobody asks? He knows how he has is with his past. The basics, fine. Although he doesn't much care for small talk, with those that he actually respects, he'll answer the obvious questions. The big things? Not a chance. He recognises that perhaps he's not the only one. Where the majority of the population enjoy blabbing their entire life history, there are the select few who like to keep themselves private. "You'd prefer they don't ask?" he says, as a gesture of good will.


<Paige> Paige considered. There were times when she wanted to talk to someone about the guilt she had carried with her from Russia. She didn't realize what it was, but it was always pressing on her chest like a vice. At times she thought maybe if she had someone to speak to honestly who would not use the information to hurt her, then the pain would ease. This was probably just a futile hope, though. She knew that she did not really deserve to be free from it, when it was her fault. "If they use it to hurt me... there are things... if my sire knew..." She sighed and shook her head. Jesse didn't have a reason to torment her. And he was in a position of power but had not abused it.


* Jesse Fforde frowns at Paige, his hands clasped together in front of him. He'd heard about how Axel had treated Paige, and yet when he'd tried to ask her about it, she'd got defensive. He is confused about whether she actually likes Axel or not. "If Axel knew? You think he would use it against you?" Jesse asks, curious and mildly concerned.


<Paige> She nodded slowly. Her sire already had complete power over her, so in her mind he didn't need to know about certain things. He knew many things, but her upbringing was not something he had bothered questioning. A paladin was nothing more than scum to be erradicated, after all. Who cared where it came from, or if it had loved ones?


* Jesse Fforde growls, a low almost indiscernible sound reverberating in his throat. He supposes it's not his place to question how Axel treats his childer, but he can't help it. Jesse likes Paige. Respects her. Has no reason to use anything against for any reason. "What could he possibly use against you? And why should he? Why could he?" Jesse asks, the anger barely kept from his tone.

[Paige]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--



<Paige> "He won't," she assured her sire's sire, "I listen now." Her words only added to the confusion, and she didn't want him to growl anymore, it made her territorial curse act up and made her feel as if she had to growl as well. So she added, "I did not always listen to him." And if for some reason Axel told her to do something now that she wanted to disobey, it would be harder to rebel if he knew her weaknesses.


* Jesse Fforde "You listen now?" Jesse asks, slightly incredulous. He's not too sure what she means by it, but he's uneasy with the connotations. Again, he's watching Paige in that hard, penetrating way. "What does that mean? He won't use anything against you because you're what... obedient? Like some kind of pet?" he asks, recalling the conversation he'd had with Ursula. Or was it Renee? One of them, both of them, had told him how Axel had treated Paige like a pet. It rankled Jesse.


<Paige> Paige looked away. "He is my sire," she rumbled simply. It was much more complex than that and involved quite a bit of torture and brainwashing from when she was a paladin in Axel's clutches, but Jesse was upset and the more she explained the more incredulous he seemed to get. As if something unnatural were taking place. This was her life. It was the only one she had. Why question it?


* Jesse Fforde tries to calm himself. Anger, though a familiar territory lately, will get him nowhere. This is as much about Paige's attitude as it is about Axel's unhealthy need to control her. Jesse realises he may not know the entire story. When next he speaks, the anger is hiding in the back of his voice, but curiosity is the main player in the cadence of his tone. "It doesn't matter. If he weren't your sire, would you respect him? Tell me, truthfully. Imagine it. Imagine that ... I'd sired you instead," he says, a thrill at the thought thrumming through him. "And you just met Axel, as another vampire. Would you respect him?"


<Paige> The question made her squeamish. Of course, she and Axel would not have had the same past. And, there was that thing hanging over their relationship. "I think I would still be trying to kill him. He... when I was a human... a paladin... he killed my sister. If I just met him. Even though paladins are scum. My sister was different. I think I would still try to hurt him for what he did." Paige honestly expected the ground to shake and lights to flicker when she said that, though the only indication of her nervousness was a glance over her shoulder.


* Jesse Fforde has to consider for a few moments. He must have known Paige had been a paladin. Even if it wasn't something he knew, it was something he'd forgotten - it didn't seem to matter anymore. A sinister smile touched Jesse's lips. "My brother was murdered too. You don't want to know what I did to the ****** who did it," he says, on a whim. Only two people know the story between Jesse and his Uncle. "So you wouldn't, then? You'd want him dead, if he weren't your sire? So why do you follow him around now, obedient to his every whim?"


<Paige> Jesse's admonition caught her off guard, and her orange eyes widened. The pain of her sister's death was still as fresh as a raw and open sore. It had not been talked about, or even acknowledged. And now it was out in the open, and Jesse knew how it felt. As if you were missing a limb that you could never grow back. A part of you, the very best part, was gone. And Paige felt that her sister had deserved better, and that Paige herself should have been the one to die. So it took her a minute to answer. What could she say? That she was afraid of him? That she knew what would happen if she didn't show her respect? That he had calmed down a bit since she was a vampire now? None of it sounded right to herself, even if it was what she believed. So she shrugged and stared at her lap.


* Jesse Fforde feels frustration at the way Paige stares at her lap and shrugs; not anger, but a small irritation that, for some reason, she feels she must act this way. The silence blossoms and Jesse embraces it, uses it to sooth himself, to calm his irritation. He slides down from the couch so that he's sitting on the floor, one arm resting on his knee, fingers dangling in thin air. A subconscious attempt to appear less threatening. "I'm not angry at you. I'm just saying you shouldn't give anyone respect who doesn't deserve it. I don't know where I'd be if I did everything Phoenix asked just because she demanded it; just because she was my sire. If I'd done that, I'd have lost everything. Everything," he says.


<Paige> Paige looked at him and frowned. "I have already lost everything," she told him bitterly. With her sister gone, Renee and Ursula were small comforts, but nobody could replace her sister. It felt like there was no point in rebelling against anyone, especially not her sire.


* Jesse Fforde wonders if this is how he sounds, to some people. As if there is no hope for the future. If there's anything he feels the need to rebel against, it's his own pessimism. And he'd find it easier, if others didn't feed him with it. "Be that as it may, there's no reason not to hope to gain new things in the future. And you can't let anyone stop you from living your life the way you want to live it," he says, somewhat sternly.


<Paige> Paige was young, and she had a normal young person's problem of not really knowing what she wanted to do yet. "I don't care about how I live. I drink blood and then I kill paladins." She meant it as a dismissive statement, but it didn't come out how she wanted it to. It was almost as if she was asking for his advice.


* Jesse Fforde laughs. "A common problem, I assure you," he says. "Our lives aren't like they once were," he starts, though he hesitates - his was never like Paige's, he gathers. He never knew about vampires until he was turned. "What I mean, is - we don't grow old and die. There's no pressure to make something of ourselves. We just are and will continue just being. Maybe you want to live your life drinking blood and killing paladins. So long as you are happy. Are you happy?"


<Paige> "I don't know," she answered honestly. "Sometimes after I kill a human I feel happy. When I spend time with you and the girls together. But there is always my sister's shadow.When she was alive, no matter how hard life became, I was happy with her because I was not alone."


* Jesse Fforde cants his head to the side. He knows how that feels. For so long he lived without the memory of his brother, his psyche having chosen to block that particular memory. Jordan came back, for a short amount of time - a ghost, a wraith, but he reminded Jesse of what he'd missed his entire life. The connection to a twin that could never be regained. As soon as Jesse gained closure, as soon as Jordan's death was repaid, Jordan moved on, leaving Jesse alone again. He feels like Jordan hasn't died just once, but twice - and it's a memory he's only just regained. It feels as fresh as yesterday. "You aren't alone now, Paige. Unless you choose to be," he says. "No one can replace your sister. And I don't think you owe any obedience to the man who killed her, unless you want to," he adds.


<Paige> Though she said nothing more of Axel, Jesse's words would stick in her brain, especially if her sire demanded anything of her that she would not normally choose to do in the future. The young woman felt a little better. It was a tentative feeling, like the relief one feels after having vomited. Acknowledging her sister's death and how it made her feel... she looked at her sire's sire. "Thank you." She knew that he wouldn't try to use her pain against her, any more than Paige would ever use Jesse's brother's death to hurt him.


* Jesse Fforde continues watching Paige, perhaps a little too hard. A thank you is all he gets, and he's trying to figure out whether it's enough. He can't demand a promise from her; can't force Paige to change if she doesn't want to. He finally decides that, perhaps, the conversation has reached its end. He will not push her. He nods, remaining silent for the time being - he hadn't expected this kind of conversation when he'd come to join Paige, but he is glad that they've had it.


<Paige> The sun was about to rise. "Can I sleep here?" she whispered. The cabin was still in reach, but she would rather not rush. Her head was still spinning from what she had talked about with Jesse. He was older than her, and wiser, but he had the same pain as her. She decided then that she knew what she wanted to do with her life. Not for eternity, but at least for the time being. She would learn how to be happy without Sakura.


* Jesse Fforde the smile twitches at the corner of his lips and Jesse levels Paige with a mock 'haven't you learned?' expression. "Of course. You don't have to ask. You can sleep here whenever you want," he says. "I'll probably do the same. If you don't mind," he says with a small frown, unsure whether Paige would be comfortable with him sleeping in the same room, even if it was a large room meant for communal sleeping.


<Paige> She didn't tell him, but she had spent the first six years of her life in an orphanage, and was used to sharing space. "I do not mind," she whispered and moved to the couch. She pulled her trenchcoat over herself and shut her eyes with her face in the cushions. Where did she start? She had to remember how she'd felt with her sister, and that was difficult. It would hurt to try and remember, when she was gone.


* Jesse Fforde stands and stretches. He leaves Paige where she is - he had expected her to move off to one of the bunks, but she stays on the couch. Jesse himself moves into the large room to the East - he doesn't sleep, normally, and doesn't want to disturb Paige, if she is able to be disturbed. He wanders off to find that journal he'd started but hadn't written in for a while - and then he'd probably draw as the sun made its path through the sky.