Ink [Renee]

[Jesse Fforde]

The Larch Court house is empty as I enter. The lights buzz to life and the dust motes dance in the air as the atmosphere is stirred. The night has only just begun, so before I set up the tattoo guns I clean. I don’t like the dust. I don’t like clutter, not usually, not in a place that’s meant for everyone, and not just myself. An hour later, every surface sparkles. Satisfied, I set up the tattoo guns on the table by the couches. I don’t have a tattoo chair here, but we do not need one. Depending on what Renee wants done, of course – but I am confident that we do not need the chair.

I settle into the armchair when I am done; I pull the sketch pad and the pencils from the messenger bag and I draw. I draw from memory. Sometimes I like to draw designs. But sometimes, like now, I like to sketch. The image that comes to mind is one of Grey—the sketchpad is probably half filled with images of Grey. The other half is filled with flames, or murky backdrops, things that I have seen in the Shadow Realm. I had started a journal, which I haven’t written in for quite some time. Instead, I like to draw. This is my outlet. This is how my thoughts find their escape, sometimes; this is how I learn to focus on the things that preoccupy me.

As I wait for Renee – I’d asked her to meet me here on Crownet, and she had responded affirmatively – I pull that last image from my mind. I’d left Grey sleeping. Her dark hair was sprawled over the white pillow beneath her, but the lines of her cheek, of her neck were clear and smooth. She was all tangled up in the sheet, hugging it almost, one knee lifted and crooked over the smooth surface of the cotton, the other hidden beneath. Her shoulder was bare, as well as the smooth, languorous curve of her hip. The shadows dipped down under her arm, modestly hiding her breasts. She was beautiful. She is always beautiful, but in sleep, there is something indescribable about her. And so I try to capture it.

I am immersed in the image, scratching and smudging and smoothing, charcoal and graphite staining my fingertips and blackening my fingernails. And there I stay, until Renee joins me.

[Wearing]

[Renee]

Pan jumps up onto my pillow, her tail going almost too fast to see. I ligthly push here off as I pull the other pillow over my head to keep her off. She starts to growl for me to pay her some attention and when I do not she jumps over me to get to River. She bites her playfully on the ear till she too is woken up. It wont be long before I am forced from my warm little cave of a bed I have made. A moment later it is just like I have thought, River is up and she slaps the pillow on top of my head. I try to ignore her but then she lets me have it again. I move the pillow and smerk at her. Pan runs over and licks my face. "Well I love you too my little pumkin." I then grab River's head and kiss her on the top of the head. "And I love you my princess."[/b"] I get up and quickly take both of them out side.As we get back into the apparment River goes and lays back down with a thud and Pan curles up next to her. I have my meeting with Jesse tonight. It will be nice to see him and see how things have been. I am sure the last time he saw me I was not myself though I can not be sure. I quickly shower and do my hair and make up. Luckly for me I have become very good at doing both with out the use of a merrior. I go to my closet and look through my opptions. I decide on a simple band t-shirt, Nine inch Nails, and dark skinny jeans with my black boots. I turn to the two laying on the bed "How do I look?" River raises her head just to lay it back down with grumble. Pan just yawns before rolling over to go back to sleep. "Gee thanks." I go to the frige I keep by the bed and grab a blood pack and quickly down it as I call up Nexus and check to see how things are going so far and to tell them I'll be in before closing. I check my cell to see what time it is. Jesse should be there by now. "Mama be home soon. Love you two." I say as I think about Jesse's home, well the one I've been to at least, and with a blink I am there. He is sitting right in frount of me drawing. I lean in quitely to watch. He is very good and the woman he is drawing is very beautiful. "You are very talented Jesse." Though I am sure he already knew that.

[Jesse Fforde]

I should be accustomed to people popping up out of thin air. It should be something that I expect, rather than for Renee to walk through the front door like an ordinary person. I do not immediately recognise the shift in the air as she arrives; I do not have the time to leisurely close the sketchbook and slip it back into my messenger bag, as I would have done had she arrived through the front door, like an ordinary person. Instead, I first become aware that Renee has arrived due to her comment on my sketch. Rather than boost my ego, however, it irritates me that she would be so brash, and forward. The sketchpad, to me, is like a journal. The images that I produce there are private renditions of the private thoughts that ricochet around in my broken mind. Renee's sudden compliment on my work feels as if she has just read private thoughts over my shoulder - without asking, without grace.

I slam the book shut and turn sharp eyes up to her. I slip the sketchpad into messenger bag, and buckle it shut. I pause just for a moment, fingers lingering over the buckle; it is just a drawing, I remind myself. Other people are not aware what they mean to me. To them, it is just a drawing. Drawing aren't normally private. I tell myself to calm down. Tonight, I cannot allow that irritation and near-constant fury to affect my attitude. Not by much, anyway - certainly Renee should expect at least a little, otherwise she does not know me at all. When next I turn to face her, I am smiling.

"Ready? Have you decided what you want, yet?" I ask, voice low and husky as I push the former incident from my mind.

[Renee]

My vampire family where almost as private as my human one had been. Everyone kept to themselves mostly so it was no suprise at all when he quickly put his work away. I was surprised that he had not said anything to me or at least give me a disapproving look, but the smile is almost out of place. I am taken back for a moment but I try not to let it show as I nod my head. I can remember things here and there from when my other self takes over I recall the talk of the Fforde family crest as it where. This will be my first tattoo so might as well make it count. "I'm ready and I want the crest that was talked about last time we were here." This is only the second time I have met with Jesse where it is just the two of us. I wonder what all has changed in the months that have gone by. I know last time Axel would of done anything for him, now I don't remember the last time Axel even said Jesse's name. I was also still feed from people everyday and the other was still in my head and TY was just a group in stories Axel would tell. Nix was the woman who had kicked everyone out for fallowing Jesse and the rest of the famly was closer and it was larger. Now though, I was unsure who remained or what had happened to the others that have seemed to just disappare all together. I walk around the chair and take a seat on the sofa. "How have you been Jesse?" I look at him and he doesn't look much different though he seems to of changed some how thought I am unsure how of why I think this. It could simply just be the fact of being here with him. I take a quick look around the room and it is spotless. 'To bad you mess up our appartment when ever you take over' I say to the other who l know is in there. I feel her take over my hand and dig my pointer into thumb. I let a sigh out and I move my hand to my lap to control it till she releases it. "Have you heard about Axel and Phoenix getting engaged?" I was unsure if he even knew. I had found out through their crownet but was unsure if he had acceses to it or not.

[Jesse Fforde]

The crest. I remember the conversation, but hadn't heard anything from any of them about it since. That was okay, though. I figured they'd changed their mind; the conversation was had just for my benefit, and though it had filled me with pride and a certain amount of happiness at the time, I soon realised that I was mistaken. Only now do I realise that, perhaps, they might have been serious - Renee, anyway. Although it wants to, my smile does not falter as she asks how I am; it remains steadfast as she continues, without waiting for my response. That I don't care about either. I'd prefer not to discuss how I am.

Strangely, the news about Axel and Phoenix does not bother me. Perhaps it is the reason why I was removed from the Crownet - yes, I noticed. I have that link nestled in between the links to the Fforde Forum and the Tytonidae forum, and when last I checked, the link to the Altaire forum was gone. That had failed to bother me, too. They obviously do not care about me, and thus I shall return the favour. Right? Isn't this the kind of freedom that I had been striving for? I give a shrug.

"Good for them," I say. I don't comment on the fact that I don't think it will last. I don't understand how any marriage can last when the couple aren't even together a year. But that also seems to be a strange thing about this city. People all gung-ho about entering a matrimonial contract so soon after getting together. It's why I don't think I will ever get married. What's the point, when the contract hardly means a thing anymore?

"Now, the crest - I never did decide what it was going to be, because I thought that was best left up to you three. Did you decide what you want it to be?" I ask. Straight down to business.

[Renee]

He doesn't answer how he is and thats fine. He's never been much of a talker, though then again he wasn't able to talk till a few months ago. I was not about to pry into anything he didn't want to share. I am kind of shocked that he seems to not be really bothered at all by the news of the engagment, but then again I kind of saw it coming so maybe he had as well. I guess everyone had someone out there and maybe it would work out but then again the turn over rate of relationships around here and, well, Axel's relationships were no different. He ask about how I want the crest to look and I have to force the memory from the other to come up with something. "Well I know we had talked about the hydra and I like that idea, along with the sheld but I want 'Fforde' and not just the F." I think on it a bit more to make sure I don't want anything else on it "And I want four heads, not just three. " I think my "sisters" still see themsevles as Fforde and so I want to count them and Jesse because I have no clue if Axel counts himself or not but I see him post far more in the other forums then in the families forum. 'What if daddy makes them along with us chose between the two families. We will have a huge Fforde target on us if that happens.' I think of what the other says to me 'Then I guess we just need to get busy making childer and growing the Fforde line with greater numbers' Though I am sure it wount come to that but it would not be the first time something like that has happened so what was stoping it from ever happing again.

[Jesse Fforde]

There it is again. That blind loyalty that I cannot discount; that I never demanded, but which I seem to have gained from Renee regardless. I watch her carefully, heavily, gazing steadfastly into her eyes as if trying to probe her brain and figure out what’s going on in there. Of course I cannot, though it would be a nifty little trick. I cannot deny that small bloom of pride and that hint of happiness that pushes at the darkness in my soul, that flourishes from the depths of my ego. I have long lost the vivacity of the ego I once had – though of course I still put on that mask.

I do idly wonder whether Ursula and Paige will want the same thing; whether they will come to me for it, and if they do, whether they’ll ask for some kind of variation. I suppose it doesn’t matter. I suppose, in the end, they don’t all have to have the exact same crest. A variation on the same theme is still a connection, and they will all be allowed a little uniqueness at the same time. As soon as I am assured that I do not doubt Renee’s resolve, I nod. I stand from my position on the couch and approach the kitchen bench, where I have spread out the designs. I spend the majority of my free time drawing, so of course, inspired by the conversation with the three women, I had mocked up some crests. They are all there – the hydra, the shield, variations with and without the F, with the different number of heads, and some with the full last name – Fforde. I pull a few from the group and show them to Renee.

One is the Hydra in front of a shield, bursting out of it, even. Fforde is etched in antique letters upon the shield. The second is the same, but with a banner underneath, Sailor Jerry style. Rockabilly, in nature. The third is a little more abstract, the hydra and the shield represented in knot work, all in black, Fforde in cursive writing underneath.

”I have these. I can fiddle with them, if you want to change one of them. These are basics that I can work on,” I say, spreading them out in front of her.

[Renee]

As I look over the drawings he has in fount of me I take time to look over them all but I can not help but to light up a little as I see the Sailor Jerry style writing and the Rockabilly feel it has to it. I have always liked that era and style of tattoo. If I am being totally honest with myself I have always wanted to be a pin-up girl like the ones that men use to get on them. It was a far more tasteful then what was seen on some people now a days. Maybe I was just a little old fashioned but I could not help what I did and did not like and I liked how they did their hair and wore just enough make up. How they showed off their bodies, curves and all and did not care if they where skinny or fat. Most females now a days had to starve themselves to the point of black outs and their ribs needed showing before they felt "beautful". It was almost sicking to look at some people now, but back then people knew what healthy was. Woman had real breast and not the fake ones. It was beauty for beauty and right now this one was the beauty that I saw in my eyes. The other two are also awesome but they don't grab me and pull me in like the one does. They are different from what I had thought of in my head but that was not a bad thing and it was understanble. He was the artest and I was not by any means. I point to the one I like "This one. It's amazing Jesse."

[Jesse Fforde]

I nod. The design that Renee has picked is one of my favourites, too. I can’t say why, as I haven’t got any Sailor Jerry type images etched anywhere into my own skin. But I know that, looking at the design and then at Renee, it is perfect for its canvas. It’s easy enough to pluck the chosen design from the pile and to push the rest aside. From the folder nearby I choose a piece of transferable paper.

”How big do you want it? And where?” I ask. This is her last chance for me to edit or fiddle with the design just that tiny bit, before transferring it to her skin. I’ll transfer only the outlines, and once it is in the right position on the skin I can start the colouring. Of course, I could also draw free-form, but the transfer of design is better, safer. Cleaner. I am a perfectionist in this, my work, and I leave no room for error. Of course, wherever Renee wants the piece to be positioned on her body will determine what size I can and should make it – sometimes people know exactly what they want, but sometimes, too, they need to be subtly advised otherwise.

[Renee]

I had put some thought into this. I have seen where, if a tattoo was not big enough some of the detail was lost so I know I want it some what big but I'm also not looking for something like a whole back. I had also thought out where and it had come down to where would I be able to cover it if need be and I needed a big chunk of skin with no scares on it. I motion with my hand an area of about 5 or 6 inches "I'd like it about that big maybe a little bigger and I'd like it on my right side." This would hopefuly be the first of many tattoos though who knows what will happen.