Path of the Vampire forum

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

‹Elliot dArtois› Every now and again, the dark-haired allurist gave a grunt. His skin is pale, his face gaunt; the too-blue eyes gleaming like gems in the dim lighting of the bar. Normally Elliot exuded an aura of health; normally he tended to look more human than the humans. Tonight, he looked like an ill human, one who was on the verge of needing to be sent to bed with a damp cloth and a hot bowl of soup. He continued to work, completely oblivious of how he looked, brushing away any concerns of the staff.

Beneath the blue jeans and the red button-up tee rolled up to the elbows were several wounds. One bullet had ripped through his thigh, another couple through his gut, and another through his shoulder. The sewers were a great place to let off steam, except when one wasn't at their best. Oh, to be sure, Elliot slaughtered all of those who caught him off guard. None ever escaped him. Still, though. The wounds, though an inconvenience, were merely a reminder. A punishment Elliot knew he deserved.

The juke box played a mix of Australian rock Elliot liked to indulge in a bit of nostalgia, especially when he needed to distract himself. He didn't like it when overly large problems arose things he knew he would have to deal with but which he liked to try to ignore, in the hope that they would go away. But as he grunted and moved back and forth clearing tables and serving customers, he couldn't help but dwell. He had but one anchor in this life. One. Pi, and by extension, d'Artois. But he could see the rope beginning to fray. Could see the links in the chain growing weak. He was afraid what he would do, what would happen to him if that anchor were to break away. He'd spin out of control, drift away another grunt, and another customer. He forced a smile. "What do you want? The words a little gruffer than usual.

‹Pi dArtois› She'd stopped answering the thread on the family crow, but that didn't mean she had stopped reading. She'd needed the water to calm herself down. She wasn't sure how many laps she'd done of the training room pool before she finally surfaced, 100, 200. She had stroked, glided, turned and repeated so many times she had lost count. All that mattered was the glide of water against her skin, the rush of white noise, the splash stroke and repeat. You could lose yourself in the continuity of it.

She was a long distance runner, staring at a road that stretched into a wavering horizon. The methodical thump of feet and pavement, eating through the distance, pulling her into the rolling hill and endless tarmac. Except hers marathon was cocooned in a wall of liquid, holding her buoyant, keeping her afloat. They say love of water like hers came from the womb, either a fond memory of it, or a deprivation so keen that the mind continually searched for it. Either way, whatever the reason, in times of stress Pi came back to it. It's why so many of her homes had pools, or spas or . Something.

But she couldn't let it go. That was the first epiphany. She couldn't regress into silence, despite the fact it was something she often did when it got too close to wounding her for real. Step back, say nothing, feel nothing and insulate herself from what was happening around her. It's how you dealt with the dirty work. You peeled yourself away from the sense of it, depravation of senses until you life took on the surreal quality of a silent film. Mouths opened and closed, hands lifted in anger but no sound, no piercing voices to disturb the lucid calm of the lake that resided inside her mind.

No, Elliot had taught her, if nothing else. That life, this life was worth investing it. Worth giving herself to, feel the pain and the anger, the sense of hurt and irritation. Without those, she couldn't feel the rest. Compassion, love, tenderness, forgiveness. It was this that took her to Lancaster's. He'd be there. He couldn't resist. Just as she turned to water, he turned to music. Their balms as predictable as the sun, the moon and the howling snow that fell in heavy drifts outside the bar door.

There wouldn't be many people in tonight. The hearty few who lived close and didn't want to make their own dinner or drink alone watching snow fall in soft slow motion outside their windows. Except it was clear now, cloudy, the temperatures plummeting to below zero and holding. No, there still wouldn't be many people and for that, she was glad. Pushing the Office Door open Pi stepped out into the bar. Music played, the twang of the guitar a band Pi had been introduced to by the man stopped to pick up glasses and clearing tables. She waited for him, taking a tall chair on the customer side of the long expanse of wood bar. And she watched him, her gaze frank. She loved him. God she did. But sometimes she wondered how on earth they had managed to find one another. What was it about their diametrically opposing personalities that brought them together. She couldn't fathom it, but she knew she felt it. The connection. Nothing before had compared and she could see no future where it would be any different.

‹Elliot dArtois› Elliot is aware of the movement behind him. A frown creases his brow as he focuses on the order given to him the customer, a young girl in high heels and with a broad grin was completely oblivious to Elliot's bad mood, had ordered an Espresso Martini. The coffee machine growled as it spat out the coffee into the glass. He added the Vodka, and the special sugar syrup that they made at the bar on a nightly basis. All together with ice in a normal glass, over which he secured the silver cup. He shook, now able to make basic cocktails like the best of them. All of the liquid ended up in the silver cup. With a strainer, he poured the liquid into a martini glass, filling it to the brim. He passed it over to the girl, who handed him some cash.

All the while, he was aware of her movements behind him. Of Pi, as she exited the office and took a place at one of the stools, amongst the customers. He didn't know what her plan was. Didn't know what she wanted. Did she think that his message on the Crow had been aimed at her? That he wanted her to come see him? That he was willing to talk to her?

He put the cash into the register. He pulled out the change. Shoved the change into the tip jar, as his wayward customer had wandered off. Another had shuffled forward to take her place. He continued to serve customers, to make their drinks and when there were none left he took a basket, breezed past Pi, with the intention of wandering around to collect the empty glasses and bottles.

‹Pi dArtois› The silent treatment. "We need to talk about this Elliot. She said softly, words uttered as he walked past her, behind the bar to fill an order. It was an ironic turn around really, that she had come here to talk and he was obviously in no mood to utter a single word. She kept watching him, her gaze tracking his movements. She wasn't an impatient person, she was used to the long wait, the deliberated pause. She thought that they needed to talk this through but she was in no hurry to rush into it. She simmered on low heat, her gaze direct and watchful, trying to see past the placid face he wore to what boiled beneath. And something did. She knew it, knew him. And knew too that it was big enough that he wasn't ready to let it out, and when it did her hackles would rise along with their voices and the words they said to one another would draw blood.

It was that big, that essential. Their wills were clashing. What they were and what they were becoming were moving on opposite tracks, destined to come together in a crash of bending steely resolve and unresolved issues. She could walk right out right now but that would be cowardly. She could give him his space but she wasn't sure she could live with the separation like the last. She didn't like the cold shoulder and she didn't want to sleep alone and be alone. So she stayed where she was, silent, watchful, waiting. For when he was ready, and for him to finally, one way or the other, turn around and give her his attention. She settled in for the long haul.

There was other staff on for the night and she gave them a small nod, but engaged none of them any further than that. She didn't chat or ask how they were. Much like Elliot she chose silence but unlike his hers was about waiting and holding still until he'd burned off enough of his irritation to speak to her. Blinking slowly she kept her eyes trained on him, her gaze stalking him across the room, or behind the bar. The weight of the stare heavy with arrested meaning.

‹Elliot dArtois› Elliot could feel the weight of the stare; jaws clenched as she said they had to talk about it. He didn't know what else they could say to each other. He didn't know how words could make this better. A rift had opened up between them; he was set in his ways, and she was set in hers. He needed time. He didn't know how much, but he was feeling alienated from everything that they had established together. It didn't matter how much he ignored her, however, how much he willed her to go away. She remained, steadfast and staring.

It was only when the bar had mostly emptied only a couple of people remained playing pool, and another couple in a booth down the front that he finally stopped in front of her. He shook his head. "Why here? You know it's not going to go well. I'm not talking to you here. Besides, I've got nothing to say to you. You're the one coming in here saying we have to talk'. What, you've got something to say to redeem yourself? he asked.

He couldn't help himself. He didn't want them to talk here, in a public place. In the bar, within which he didn't like there to be any violence. He didn't want to argue with her in front of the staff. But maybe this was a good thing. Maybe he could be able to school himself, if talking to her in front of an audience.

‹Pi dArtois› "Redeem myself? Pi shook her head. It was moments like this that hammered home how utterly different they were, how opposing their opinions on what had happened were. Her voice was soft as she replied. They were vampire, they had no need to raise their voices or to shout and she wasn't inclined to make a scene or make a spectacle of herself. "Redeem myself? She shook her head and narrowed her eyes. "I'm not the one who decided that taking pot shots at Tytonidae was a good idea. Nor was I the one who decided to enter the EYRIE and give the biggest warring faction in this city the big middle finger. Madison only reaped what she sowed when she decided to go vigilante and take on the biggest bad asses in the city.

Pi leaned forward her blue eyes snapping. Nothing else showed her irritation or projected their talk' or the nature of what they were discussing. "How is anything I have done here need redeeming. I didn't open the door for Ty to enter. I didn't do anything to encourage or discourage or censor her behaviour when it was clear to everyone and their dog that she was going to get slapped down for what she'd done. Her fingers laid flat against the solid wood and she pressed down, pushing down. There weren't many people in the bar but she was still mindful of the few that were, and of the staff who, despite their soft tone, slid them curious stares. "I did not bring Tytonidae to our house. ALL of that is on Madison. I'm just not willing to help someone commit suicide by cop, or put the lineage in the same firing line. Which is exactly what Madison did. And if you took five seconds to see that, it would have been nice to get a little support from you instead of whatever that was you just did.

‹Elliot dArtois› Elliot shook his head and gave a bitter laugh. She had no idea why it was that he was furious. Why it was that he was so bitter, and what it was, exactly, that he disagreed with. His fingers curled around the cloth in his hands, forming a fist that he would not use. He leaned forward on the bar, as if the two of them were just having an ordinary conversation. Of course, if anyone came close they'd see just how tense he was. How tense Pi was. It was almost certain that a wave of discomfort rolled from them, wave after wave.

"She said a few nasty things on the internet. The ******* internet! And then took a step inside the Eyrie. She gets to die for that? Tytonidae came into our Den. Broke through our security. You don't think that's giving us a big middle finger? What you don't understand, Pi, is this: that place doesn't feel like home to me anymore. You joined Tytonidae. You side with them. You've split our family in two, by doing just that. Whatever we strove to build is gone now. Broken. Probably beyond repair. But I can see you don't seem to realise that. Or care. You have a new family now, eh? Go hang with them, yeah?

He stood, then, pushed himself away from the counter. The tension was building inside of him; he was upset, and furious. What upset him most was that the thought didn't seem to cross Pi's mind. She was too preoccupied defending Tytonidae. He wandered over to the sink and started to stack the dirty glasses into the industrial dishwasher beneath the bench.

‹Pi dArtois› Pi glared at his back. As if turning his back was the end of this conversation. Except it wasn't, not by a long shot, not even the beginning of what they needed to talk about. "She's a big girl, and she knew exactly what she was doing and whose tail she was yanking. I'm not defending Tytonidae anymore than I'm defending Madison. She kept speaking her voice low, her gaze trained to his back and watching as muscled moved under his shirt. He kept his hands busy and his back turned but she knew he heard her because his hearing was as good as hers. "She made her choices fully knowing how they would play out and then blamed the other side as if she didn't know exactly what would happen. Then tried to blame me because I wouldn't get our lineage to gut themselves for her.

She really wanted to stalk behind the bar and yank him around to face her. But she didn't. She had a captive audience and until he left the building she would continue to talk and have it out. What they had built was meant to give their family a sense of safety but that security only came if the people who took advantage of it didn't do something so enormously stupid as to call attention to themselves like she'd done.

"Do you know who made our Den unsafe. Madison. You know who brought them to our door? Madison. You know why they came to get her? Because she went batshit crazy and used weapons against multiple members of a warring faction. That's who made it unsafe. Not me. The problem being that once their gaze turned our way there was no stopping what happened next. We've both been in a Tytonidae war party and we both know how deadly efficient they can be. Do you know the last person who did this to us? Put us into this position? Robert. And I'll be damned if I'll feel guilty for giving her the best protection we could, sacrificing OUR safe place and then made to feel like I did something wrong. And you have no right to stand there and tell me I did this to us.”

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

‹Elliot dArtois› The girl with the Espresso Martini had finished. Elliot rinsed the glass of the cloying milk, but as Pi continued to talk at his back, as his hackles began to rise, the flimsy glass shattered in his grasp. He hissed as a thin shard of glass pierced the skin of his thumb. He sighed and let the shards scatter through the bottom of the sink. The staff had scattered, too—it had reached the end of their shifts, and they didn’t want to hang around while their bosses argued. As if aware of what was going on, they made themselves scarce.

Elliot leaned against the sink, his head bowed. He could hear every word she spoke, and he knew that she made sense. In some other world, some other universe, he might have been persuaded. But he couldn’t be persuaded in this, not now, not here. He didn’t turn to look at her as he responded; for all intents and purposes, it would look as if he were speaking to the sink.

‹Elliot dArtois› “You know it goes deeper than that with me, Pi. The fact that they exist to begin with. The fact that to feel safe we have to spread traps around the place. All of it is completely fucked. People just go around shooting each other for fun,” he said. Finally he turned to face Pi. The usual gleam was missing from his eyes. His heart sunk as he looked at her. She was steadfast in her opinion, and she would not shift. She was steadfast in her ways, and he couldn’t convince her to change.

“This is just something we’ll never agree on. I like washing glasses and playing music. I get a sick enjoyment out of killing things,” he said. He didn’t bother to lower his voice. His stubbornness had only grown in the past month or so. It was only the little things, really, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care what humans found out, and what they knew. What they saw or what they heard. It was, in a small way, a kind of rebellion. “And I don’t like it. You know what it looks like? It looks like you wouldn’t lift a finger to protect any of us if Tytonidae came knocking. They’re right, you know. D’Artois has become second fiddle to you.”

‹Pi dArtois› How many times would they have this conversation before they both acknowledged that they wouldn’t see eye to eye on where they stood. How many times would they try to convince one another, to lay out the reasons for why they felt like they did. He was the light to her dark, and her the dark to his light but somewhere in the middle of all of that they had found one another somehow, the solid rock of his earthy appeal grounded her and something about her did the same for him. Right now she didn’t know what. It seemed like all she managed to do was hurt him somehow. With what she did. With what she said. With how she felt. Like the very essence of her bothered him on a fundamental level.

She moved then, his blood calling to her. A wound so insignificant that it would heal in seconds but she went all the same. Around the bar so she stood right beside him. She pushed his hands away from the sink and picked up the shards of glass. She made a careful pile of the broken pieces in her palm, plucking them one by one from the sink until she had them all. Turning the spigot she flushed the rest. With her hand full she spoke quietly, the tension leaving her as she stood beside him. “I want to do something that will keep us all safe. But I can’t keep anyone safe if they run headlong into it with a target slapped on their back. No one can keep anyone safe when they do that to themselves.”

It was Robert all over. This heedless need to prove a point at the expense of everyone else. The grand gestures that turn deadly only to blame everyone else but themselves. “I can’t lift a finger to protect someone who is so dead set on not protecting themselves.” She ground out. Holding up her cupped hand she curled her fist around the glass. “It’s like glass. Any normal person would know there was danger here. An unwary person could accidentally push their hands into the sink and they’d be cut, but you’d know if you held it in your palm that the danger was real and present. Madison did this with the glass in her hand.” And with that Pi crushed the glass, her fingers wrapping tightly around the shards until they shred her hand and blood dripped into the sink. “And then blamed the glass for what it did to her.”

Turning away from Elliot she opened her palm and picked out the glass, throwing the shards into the rubbish as she finished, her point made. “d’Artois doesn’t play second fiddle but they are adults that know the rules of this city. You. Me. Madison. Asteria. The whole lot. And if they don’t have the sense to realise that their actions come with consequences then how is anyone meant to save them from themselves. I can’t … save them all. No one can save people from themselves if they are dead set on doing otherwise. ”

‹Elliot dArtois› The same old argument again. She still wasn’t getting it. Elliot inhaled sharply as the shards of glass shredded Pi’s skin. His mouth watered, the back of his throat ached. But he made no move toward her. He turned away from her, eyes focused on the ground rather than on the woman beside him. His arms remained crossed over his chest, as the dark hair fell over his eyes. Her argument might have been flawless, if it weren’t for one thing. He shook his head, causing more hair to cascade over his features.

“Madison did plenty to protect herself. She came to us, to a place she thought she would be welcome. But now? I don’t think she’ll ever feel welcome there again. We did nothing to defend our home, regardless of how much she might have deserved it. And ****, Pi, who says any of them deserve it? Whose rules are they breaking? Tytonidae’s. Who made them Kings and Queens of this place, huh? Who’s to say that their word is the best word to follow? I only agree with the Masquerade because to reveal ourselves would only mean more violence,” he said.

Oh, he knew the reasons why the Masquerade was in place. He knew that to reveal their kind to humanity would be to put them in danger. But the Hunters had been overcome before. They had been beaten back. All the vampires, against all the hunters, and Elliot knew who would come out on top. And who’s to say that humanity wouldn’t welcome them? He was still wary, however, regardless of how he was on the verge of doing something stupid. He shook his head.

‹Pi dArtois› Leaning over the sink she washed her hand. It stung, smaller pieces had broken off and she used the force of the water and the brush of her fingertips to take away the rest. She stared at her blood dully as it swirled, turning pink and flushing itself down the sink hole. Already the cuts were healing, soon they’d be gone and her skin would be flawless again. Whole. Their bodies did this now. Their skin, their bones, tendons and flesh were bound by a whole new set of biological rules. And so was their society. They weren’t human anymore, their laws in place to maintain their kind to suit what they were.

“The masquerade was defined by people who were alive long before we became what we were. The lessons they learned are ones we should always be concerned for because what happened in the past was a catastrophic loss of life for our kind. And if we want to survive we have to learn to live by those rules.” She wanted to reach out and touch him, to uncurl those arms that wrapped around his chest and closed her out but she couldn’t make herself do it. The ‘do not touch me’ sign flickered like a neon light around him and she knew he’d shut her down if she tried, so she didn’t make the attempt.

“They didn’t make the rules, but it makes sense to me to abide by them.” She swallowed hard, turning away and picking up a cloth to wipe her hands on then threw it into the laundry chute. “She came to us, and we did what we could… to help her, but to also keep ourselves safe. To do more would be to bleed all of us and then what? We all get dead for her? Was that the better choice? To make us all targets so Madison could feel better? We gave her what we could without dying for her and she threw it back in our face and told us it wasn’t enough for her. Then blamed me for what happened.” Pi turned to Elliot and stood her ground, her eyes flashing with anger and hurt he couldn’t see because he wouldn’t even look at her. “I don’t deserve that. And you don’t deserve to feel guilty about it. Why can’t she just take responsibility for what she did, and how it turned out. And how did it become our fault she got called for it? And why are we standing here at odds because of it?”

‹Elliot dArtois› Elliot laughed, the sound mirthless. “We were at odds before anything happened to Madison. She’s not the reason we’re at odds. We’re at odds because you decided to go and join a faction that I loathe, that I will not ever be a part of. I love you, Pi, I think I always will,” he said, his voice softening, a keening edge to it as he finally did lift his eyes to meet hers. Even as he spoke, warmth returned to his skin. The hollowness in his cheeks fleshed out, and his eyes started to look less like hardened gems and more like a sky on a warm summer’s day. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, it registered that Reilly was working his magic. All the blood that he’d lost, hunting the sewers, was being returned to him.

“But I can’t agree with them, and I can’t agree with you on this. I can fight; I can defend myself, and I can defend those I care about. I should have done something to help Madison. I should have been there, to stand my ground beside her. But I wasn’t, and I feel ashamed because of that. It doesn’t matter what you say, I’ll always feel ashamed, like some kind of coward. The fact that we did nothing only proves that we are afraid of Tytonidae. We are weak in comparison to them. I’d prefer to fight and die rather than to have them think that I’m some rug that they can walk all over,” he said. He stopped.

This talk was probably not working too well in Pi’s favour. It was only strengthening Elliot’s resolve; he’d stepped out and away in the hope that his ignorance would make it all go away. Now, knowing that it cannot be ignored, he started to wonder what he could do. What would he do, to prove to that faction that he wouldn’t just lay down and let them get away with ****? “Madison was just a single factor. A flare in a fire that was already burning.”

‹Pi dArtois› It’s amazing how you can focus on one set of words and then all of the rest drains away in a gurgle of white noise. She stared at his face and watched the colour return and realised then that this too was taken from her. Their intimacy and his lips on her neck. The pull of blood as he took from her what he needed to survive. He was right, this hadn’t been the beginning but he was making it sound like the end. And those words, innocuous but revealing more than just a physical withdrawal but an emotional one as well. He thinks he always will? What did that mean? Those were words were what people said to one another when they walked out the door and never came back. They were words one lover said to another when it was over and all they wanted to do was make the one left behind feel better about being left standing holding onto a shred of dignity. Pi swallowed hard.

Maybe he just needed time, maybe she should give him the space he needed and he’d come around somehow. She tried to follow along with the rest of what he’d said but she’d missed some bits in the middle. Her gut churned, nervous and jittery. When did protecting them all, turn into losing him. When did this become a choice between her belief in what she needed to do to keep them safe and the man who had come to mean so much. And why did his words make her ill. She searched his face, trying to pierce through his blue eyes and see beyond into the cavern his brain and pull out the thing that made her dread what he was planning.

“You will not die, do you hear me? Sacrificing yourself isn’t the answer Elliot.” She stated, her voice rising, desperation giving it a shrill tone. “We’ve been there you and I and you promised me you wouldn’t do anything like that again. And hurting yourself isn’t the right answer and throwing yourself under a bus isn’t the answer either. You promised me you wouldn’t do that to yourself.” Her jaw clenched as she remembered the haggard and starved state she’d found him in. They hadn’t even made it a year, not even a single year and yet here they were and she felt like he was slipping away. Dread curled and rolled in her stomach and she hissed at him. “You promised me.”

‹Elliot dArtois› The smile that curved Elliot’s lip wasn’t cruel, but nor was it mirthful. He shook his head. “I’m not going to hurt myself. Whatever I promised you was under some vague notion that I wouldn’t hurt you. I don’t have any plans, Pi, but if I do, it’s got nothing to do with you. You go on about how you won’t harm anyone in d’Artois on behalf of Tytonidae. I think that’s selfish. And it’s selfish of you to ask me to stay my hand just to save yourself the heartache. You say you joined Tytonidae because it’s what you think you need to do. There are things I need to do, too, I’ve just realised. If I’m going to quit pining after something I can’t get back, if I’m finally going to come to terms with this, I need to pick a side and make a stand. I can’t be a coward anymore,” he explained.

It might not make sense to Pi, what he said. It might come across as a garbled mess—but his thoughts had taken a sharp left turn, and he knew exactly what he was talking about. He had no idea what he was going to do, but he knew he had to do something.

“As much as I love you, you aren’t the only one I care about. I’ve brought other people into this world and I can’t ignore that. I can’t ignore the responsibility I have for them,” he said. He straightened, his arms finally dropping from across his chest. A movement at the office door caught his attention. One of the staff members, lingering. He realised he was standing over the till, keeping her from her duties.

“It’s changeover time. There are things that need to be done,” Elliot said. A dismissal, in a way. “I’ve got to go tend to the other businesses,” he said. He didn’t allow Pi to interrupt. Didn’t allow her to interject. He didn’t look back as he walked into the office; as he collected his wallet and his phone, and the keys to his car. He exited the office and headed for the door, to the car parked outside. He went without a jacket, despite the cold. Yet another small rebellion.

As soon as Elliot arrived at Curlew, he went through to the back room where he found a computer. Sure, he could do this with his mind, but he didn't like to. It was too unnatural. Too weird. He didn't access the internet with his mind unless absolutely necessary.

Once planted in front of the computer, he typed out the following email to Madison:


Subject: Sorry
To: Madison

Sending you an email, because such a lengthy tirade might not be welcome in your head.

I`m sorry I didn`t do anything to help you against Tytonidae. They came into the Den, and everyone else stood by, idle while they slaughtered you. I don`t agree with their ways, or their reasons. I don`t agree with any of it. I don`t think they should have been allowed in. If anyone breaks into the Eyrie, Tytonidae come after them. Right? This is part of the reason they came after you. Correct?

We shouldn`t stand by and pretend like it`s okay. I`m sorry for standing back. I have this habit of ignoring things in the hope that they go away; to do so in this life, I realise now, has fatal consequences.

I`ll help you out while you`re in the SR. When you come back - as I know you will - let me know what I can do to make it up. I`m not the scheming sort. I don`t know how to plan violence. But I don`t think I can just sit idly by anymore, and let Tytonidae believe that I agree with them; that I can just be walked all over.

Come back soon.

Elliot

Sitting in the darkness of the realm, Madison was waiting for word from Adrian on if he had found anything yet. While she waited she had her mind connected to the internet, playing a Pandora radio station while she hacked businesses from beyond. A notice went off in her head, signaling to her that she'd received an email message. Finishing the hack she was in, Madison opened up her inbox next and was surprised to see a missive from Lancaster with the subject title of "Sorry." She was even more surprised when she opened it and read what it had to say. Madison had known that Lan was unhappy with the way things had happened, he had said as much on the family CrowNet board, but she hadn't expected him to make the decision to choose a side and make a stand. Opening up a reply message, her thoughts wrote the words for her;

Elliot,

I honestly hadn`t expected anyone to help me though I had hoped for it. So many gripe, but so few actually
do anything to bring about change. I couldn`t take it anymore and that is why I startedattacking Tytonidae back at the end of November. I actually never made it inside the Eyrie but Brick did and he did attack them in their own home. I allowed it because I was hoping they would see the parallel between what he was doing and what they do to others. I doubt it was recognized.

It was never my intention like Pi implied to bring harm to the rest of d`Artois by my presence in the Den. Never before has my being there when it was known that Tytonidae was after me been considered a problem. Before she joined, she and Doc were more than eager to throw down traps and summon monsters to protect the sanctity of our home. I hadn`t intended to stay there long. It was just the fastest way to get out of harm`s way to use mytome and get my fill of blood bags from the reserves.

Before I could move on, they were already attacking the traps below. I had hoped to buy myself time and to wear them down. The traps and some of the monsters I could easily replaces later from my own reserves. My cameras never saw them coming, I assume some of them cloaked in invisibility. It was the bite of Phoenix`s blade, followed soon by the gunfire by Nemesis. I ducked out a fade portal but I didn`t hide right away. I hoped to draw them all of the Den. I made them chase me as long as I could before Pierre summoned me to safety. Now he and Cartis are down here with me too. I don`t doubt Lyana or Alexandrea will be as well if they take the time to read their memories.

This incidence has made me understand why Robert remained in hiding when his allies and loved ones died, to an extent. Those who helped me knew the consequences and they helped me anyways. They believed in me and believed in what I was doing. It was worth the risk in their eyes to do something in hopes of making a difference. I am not my sire though, and my friends knew that I would not stay in hiding forever, that I would again, like before take the fight to Tytonidae. I stopped attacking them in early December because they had stopped killing needlessly.

I know you are not a fan of violence and while it may seem otherwise, neither am I. I may be dead but I am still watching what is happening in the living world. And I don`t just mean via the internet in my mind. There are windows here now, things I have never seen before. Pockets of thin space where I can see color. Whatever is going on, the veil between this world and the living seems to be growing thinner. I doubt it means anything good.

I`m sorry for going on for so long. It tends to happen when you write in your mind. Whatever you think goes down. But this is far from over and I will return. While it would have been nice for more of the family to stick up for me before my death, I do not fault you for sticking your head in the sand. The only reason you should carry guilt is if you feel that you have broken your ownmorals and values, not because you feel you have failed me.

You have nothing to make up to me and I hope to see you soon. If it`ll make you feel better though, I`ll need clothing when I return.

~Madison

Elliot hadn't moved from the computer. He had remained where he was - still there for anyone who might try to find him. Adrian and Asteria worked for him at Curlew, so he supposed this would be the place that they would find him. He stared off into space, until the computer alerted him to a new email. He opened. He read, the frown creasing heavily over his brow. Before he responded:

Subject: Re: Sorry
To: Madison

You don`t have to explain yourself to me. I never did think you intended to bring harm to d`Artois by hiding in the Den. The Den exists to keep d`Artois safe, which is what has finally pushed me over the edge.

That`s what I said to Pi. That they should attack you or yours just because you breached the walls of the Eyrie - how then is it any different, what they have now done to us? They have come into our home, a place where we are supposed to be safe. It`s not a home to me anymore. It`s tainted.

I`m not going to stand idly by anymore. I don`t want this life, not really. But it`s what I`ve got, now, and I need to come to terms with it. I need to finally figure out where I stand.

I`ll make sure I`ve got some clothes ready for you. Just let me know when, and where you need me.

Elliot.

She didn't bother starting another business hack while she waited for a reply. One...Two....Three....Four. Madison counted the seconds because here in this realm she had no true concept of time. There was no sun or moon, no stars, no wind. Nothing. Several minutes passed and she started to wonder if Elliot had left the computer. She didn't know whether or not he could access the internet with his mind like she could, though she did know he had some powers that naturally belonged to telepaths. Right when she was about to stop counting, the notification came.

Subject: Re: Re: Sorry
To: Elliot dArtois

Maybe I`ve just felt the need to explain to someone. So someone knows my side of things, in my words, from my perception. Very few have stuck beside me in this though I was much surprised to see Aidan and Asteria sticking up for me in a way.

I know how gang mentality works, I was in one when I was still human. It`s near impossible to fight a clean fight when the other side fights dirty. Eventually you have to figure out what`s most important. The objective goal, the relationships you have with other people or your own self-respect. Sometimes you need to hurt one or two of the three to make sure your priority comes to fruition.

I've thought long and hard about this and honestly, my self-respect has taken the furthest back seat. I`m not proud of the fact that I have stooped to some of their tactics but making sure they knew that I wasn`t going down easily and that I think them wrong was more important. It killed some of my relationships and yet strengthened others.

For a long time I have been thinking about leaving Fifth Column and forging a group of my own. I don`t hold the same values that the founding members do. They care little of the masquerade or the bounty system. While I think that times have changed and that we may be able to integrate with humans eventually, now isn`t the time and the masquerade must be maintained to some degree. I don`t think killing each other needlessly or for minor infractions to the masq is necessary.

But I`m not good around other people. I don`t know how to bring them together and I don`t know how to lead very well. I also don`t want to assume that I know what`s best for our society as a whole. But if I ever expect to make Tytonidae realize that the way they do things is unacceptable to our society, I cannot do it alone and I`m afraid that no one else will stand up to them out of fear.