To Purge a Nightmare [Character Arc]
Posted: 26 Dec 2013, 13:02
The address that Velveteen had given me is a house. A nice little cottage out on the outer edges of the city, with its little white fence and garden gnomes welcoming visitors as they trod up the path. It’s in a neighbourhood that I don’t quite belong in; as I stand there with the hood up over my face, only the tattoos on my hands showing, a get a few wary looks. A mother and her daughter literally actually cross the road to avoid me. I smirk, but take a step back, further into the shadows of the shrubbery. I’m in a park. This quaint little cottage is across the road from a park, for crying out loud. In the park there’s a jungle gym—colourful, and clean. I can imagine that, during the day, this place would be filled with laughing children.
I don’t want to draw too much attention to myself. I don’t want to be seen at all. There, across the road, is the house within which, apparently, Uncle Tommy lives. As soon as I first set eyes on the place, I didn’t believe it. I instead believed that Velveteen’s intel must have been wrong. That there is some other Thomas Fforde, and it is his doorstep that I have been directed to. There’s no way my Uncle could—
--but then I see him. I hardly recognise him.
The man from my nightmares wore jeans with grease spots on them, holes ripped at the knees. He wore wife-beaters that had once been blue but were faded due to overwear. He always smelled of bad body odour, always had stubble of some kind, and his hair was thin up top—he was balding—and long, pulled into a greasy little ponytail at his neck. The man I remembered had been overweight, but surprisingly quick for all his decrepitness.
The man who walks out of the house across the road is still a little overweight, but not as much as he used to be. He wears tan slacks and polished boots. He is bald on top, but has a ring of hair over his ears, curling around the back of his head. The pony tail has been cut off. The face is clean-shaven, but there’s no mistaking it. There’s still that one crooked tooth that protrudes over the lower lip. And there are still those eyes – squinted, an emotionless dark brown. Literally, eyes like a rat.
”Just because he’s changed, doesn’t change what he did.”
Jordan is beside me, whispering in my ear. He is an ethereal presence; the whisper doesn’t even press a small gust of wind against my ear. It’s more like a thought, heard out loud. It’s the truth, I know. I stand with my arms crossed over my chest, unable to decipher the multitude of emotion that barrages my senses.
Everything about Phoenix, and Axel, and whatever betrayal he might have committed, has been banished. Here, and now, I have only one focus, one intent, one thing that I need to achieve. I need to kill Uncle Tommy. And yet! Look at him. This would have been so much easier if the address I’d been sent to was some other apartment complex; if I’d found him living in the kind of squalor that only evil men could gather around themselves.
It’s not all so black and white though, is it? I suppose, Uncle Tommy might never have intended to be evil. I can’t say I remember too much about him, except that he was always drunk, that he treated out mother like ****. I remember only the bad things. I narrow my eyes at this new apparition across the road, and try to remember the good things. Were there any? Did he ever once treat Jordan and I like a father might? Did he ever try to step into our father’s shoes? I really don’t think he did. Of course, regardless, any mild good act that he might have undertaken is eclipsed by that one memory I have that I now know is not a nightmare. It actually happened. This ******** threw my brother off the roof of a six story tenement, and then threatened me to keep my quiet.
The man across the road tosses a rubbish bag in the dumpster. Just as the dumpster’s lid closes, a car pulls into the driveway. Out of it steps a woman—not strikingly attractive, by any means. Buxom, going grey, but well-kept. Neat. Respectable. Uncle Tommy smiles indulgently and leans in to give the woman a chaste kiss. He helps her with the groceries, which they unload from the boot of the car. They disappear through the front door of the little cottage. The lights inside are warm. Homely. Welcoming.
I wonder whether Uncle Tommy feels guilty. Whether, after the death of Jordan, he somehow sought the light. Whether some priest, somewhere, gave him some nugget of wisdom, which transformed him into someone better. Someone cleaner. Someone who no doubt goes to AA meetings once a fortnight. I wonder whether this Uncle Tommy deserves the many fantasies that I had—the torture that I was going to put him through, before finally condemning him to a silent and final death. I can my head to the side as I wonder—where would I be, if Uncle Tommy hadn’t thrown Jordan from the top of that roof?
Truth is; the only reason I am psychologically damaged is because of the events of that night. Because of Uncle Tommy. The only reason I garnered and attitude, skipped school, and generally caused trouble was because of my psychological damage, and because my ‘family’, such as they were, and their ineptitude to deal with it. Their tendency, thereafter, to treat me as if I were broken, and discarded me like a toy that they no longer had need for. It was my psychological damage that led me to excel in art rather than any of the more scholarly pursuits. And thus why I ended up apprentice in a tattoo parlour. Why I started my own parlour. Why I met the dangerous, banshee of a red-head who made me what I am now. A vampire. A force to be reckoned with.
And who am I to complain? I like where I am now. I like it. I have a home that actually feels like a home. I have a ‘family’ that actually acts like a family. Sure, yes, okay, I feel as if one member of that family has recently betrayed me, but whatever. I have everything I ever wanted. And when I think about it, when I really ponder it, I have to wonder whether there’s such a thing as fate. Whether all the bad **** happens only to lead a person to a better place.
But I don’t believe in destiny. What a load of horse ****. If Uncle Tommy hadn’t thrown Jordon from that rooftop, Jordan would still be here. Who the hell knows? I might still have excelled at art rather than any other scholarly pursuit. I may still have ended up with my own tattoo parlour. I might still have met Phoenix. I might still be a vampire—except, through it all, I’d have my brother by my side. My twin. My comrade. My partner in crime.
There’s a tickle on my cheek—cold, wet. I reach up to wipe it away. The wetness glistens on my fingertips. My jaw tightens.
No. **** Uncle Tommy and his newfound happiness. The ******** doesn’t deserve to be happy. He deserves to die, horribly, excruciatingly. He deserves to pay for the life he’s put me through, without my brother. He deserves to pay for the life he took from my brother.
And so I remain where I am, nestled in that shrubbery. I remain absolutely still. I watch, and I wait. And I will continue to watch, and I will continue to wait, until I know Uncle Tommy’s routine. I’ll wait until I can get him alone. And then he’ll understand that he did not just take the life of an innocent child, that night. No, he also helped to create a monster.
I don’t want to draw too much attention to myself. I don’t want to be seen at all. There, across the road, is the house within which, apparently, Uncle Tommy lives. As soon as I first set eyes on the place, I didn’t believe it. I instead believed that Velveteen’s intel must have been wrong. That there is some other Thomas Fforde, and it is his doorstep that I have been directed to. There’s no way my Uncle could—
--but then I see him. I hardly recognise him.
The man from my nightmares wore jeans with grease spots on them, holes ripped at the knees. He wore wife-beaters that had once been blue but were faded due to overwear. He always smelled of bad body odour, always had stubble of some kind, and his hair was thin up top—he was balding—and long, pulled into a greasy little ponytail at his neck. The man I remembered had been overweight, but surprisingly quick for all his decrepitness.
The man who walks out of the house across the road is still a little overweight, but not as much as he used to be. He wears tan slacks and polished boots. He is bald on top, but has a ring of hair over his ears, curling around the back of his head. The pony tail has been cut off. The face is clean-shaven, but there’s no mistaking it. There’s still that one crooked tooth that protrudes over the lower lip. And there are still those eyes – squinted, an emotionless dark brown. Literally, eyes like a rat.
”Just because he’s changed, doesn’t change what he did.”
Jordan is beside me, whispering in my ear. He is an ethereal presence; the whisper doesn’t even press a small gust of wind against my ear. It’s more like a thought, heard out loud. It’s the truth, I know. I stand with my arms crossed over my chest, unable to decipher the multitude of emotion that barrages my senses.
Everything about Phoenix, and Axel, and whatever betrayal he might have committed, has been banished. Here, and now, I have only one focus, one intent, one thing that I need to achieve. I need to kill Uncle Tommy. And yet! Look at him. This would have been so much easier if the address I’d been sent to was some other apartment complex; if I’d found him living in the kind of squalor that only evil men could gather around themselves.
It’s not all so black and white though, is it? I suppose, Uncle Tommy might never have intended to be evil. I can’t say I remember too much about him, except that he was always drunk, that he treated out mother like ****. I remember only the bad things. I narrow my eyes at this new apparition across the road, and try to remember the good things. Were there any? Did he ever once treat Jordan and I like a father might? Did he ever try to step into our father’s shoes? I really don’t think he did. Of course, regardless, any mild good act that he might have undertaken is eclipsed by that one memory I have that I now know is not a nightmare. It actually happened. This ******** threw my brother off the roof of a six story tenement, and then threatened me to keep my quiet.
The man across the road tosses a rubbish bag in the dumpster. Just as the dumpster’s lid closes, a car pulls into the driveway. Out of it steps a woman—not strikingly attractive, by any means. Buxom, going grey, but well-kept. Neat. Respectable. Uncle Tommy smiles indulgently and leans in to give the woman a chaste kiss. He helps her with the groceries, which they unload from the boot of the car. They disappear through the front door of the little cottage. The lights inside are warm. Homely. Welcoming.
I wonder whether Uncle Tommy feels guilty. Whether, after the death of Jordan, he somehow sought the light. Whether some priest, somewhere, gave him some nugget of wisdom, which transformed him into someone better. Someone cleaner. Someone who no doubt goes to AA meetings once a fortnight. I wonder whether this Uncle Tommy deserves the many fantasies that I had—the torture that I was going to put him through, before finally condemning him to a silent and final death. I can my head to the side as I wonder—where would I be, if Uncle Tommy hadn’t thrown Jordan from the top of that roof?
Truth is; the only reason I am psychologically damaged is because of the events of that night. Because of Uncle Tommy. The only reason I garnered and attitude, skipped school, and generally caused trouble was because of my psychological damage, and because my ‘family’, such as they were, and their ineptitude to deal with it. Their tendency, thereafter, to treat me as if I were broken, and discarded me like a toy that they no longer had need for. It was my psychological damage that led me to excel in art rather than any of the more scholarly pursuits. And thus why I ended up apprentice in a tattoo parlour. Why I started my own parlour. Why I met the dangerous, banshee of a red-head who made me what I am now. A vampire. A force to be reckoned with.
And who am I to complain? I like where I am now. I like it. I have a home that actually feels like a home. I have a ‘family’ that actually acts like a family. Sure, yes, okay, I feel as if one member of that family has recently betrayed me, but whatever. I have everything I ever wanted. And when I think about it, when I really ponder it, I have to wonder whether there’s such a thing as fate. Whether all the bad **** happens only to lead a person to a better place.
But I don’t believe in destiny. What a load of horse ****. If Uncle Tommy hadn’t thrown Jordon from that rooftop, Jordan would still be here. Who the hell knows? I might still have excelled at art rather than any other scholarly pursuit. I may still have ended up with my own tattoo parlour. I might still have met Phoenix. I might still be a vampire—except, through it all, I’d have my brother by my side. My twin. My comrade. My partner in crime.
There’s a tickle on my cheek—cold, wet. I reach up to wipe it away. The wetness glistens on my fingertips. My jaw tightens.
No. **** Uncle Tommy and his newfound happiness. The ******** doesn’t deserve to be happy. He deserves to die, horribly, excruciatingly. He deserves to pay for the life he’s put me through, without my brother. He deserves to pay for the life he took from my brother.
And so I remain where I am, nestled in that shrubbery. I remain absolutely still. I watch, and I wait. And I will continue to watch, and I will continue to wait, until I know Uncle Tommy’s routine. I’ll wait until I can get him alone. And then he’ll understand that he did not just take the life of an innocent child, that night. No, he also helped to create a monster.