Point of no Return

[Darius Storm (DELETED 4750)]

((OOC note: This post contains descriptions of suicide and depression. Suicide is not the answer.))

It was the end.

The end of the young man's pain and suffering was at hand. He had been planning it for some time now. It would be clean, painless. The less of a mess there was for his parents the better. He would not be a burden on them any longer than he had to. Something had been eating away at his spirit for three years. Every birthday, every Christmas, every family meal, he lost a little more of himself to the gnawing despair. And every day he remained alive was a waste.

He had forgotten how to function without her.

In the storybook of their life, she had always been the good twin. She was always thwarting his evil plans, but she was always there too. She had been with him inside mother. And later, they had journeyed out into the world together, screaming and naked. They learned how to feed themselves side by side. And on the first day of school, Darius wasn't afraid, because she had been with him, and they would look after each other. Darius made sure that nobody bullied her, except him. Even after they became teenagers, they were still inseparable. They spent every birthday hiding presents from the other.

And now that she was gone, Darius did not know what to do. His parents pulled him out of school following the first suicide attempt, insisting that he rest at home. They hired a special counselor and all the therapy that money could buy, but it didn't make him feel any less incomplete. They didn't understand. Even those who lost family members didn't understand. He had never been apart from her. He looked at her, and saw himself. When she died, he died inside.

It was time, Darius had decided, to try dying again. He rummaged through his bag to find his notebook and pulled out his counselor's business card. Felicity Hope. Such a naïve woman. What did she know? Sneering, Darius tossed the card aside. He would be missing his regular appointment, but that was part of the plan. Let her try to call him, let her call his parents when he didn't answer his phone, it would be too late. He would already be gone.

Like a child, Darius lived under the watchful scrutiny of his parents, but he had been acting so naturally lately that their guards would be down. Mother had gone shopping, father was working into the night. He had bought a gun at a pawnshop, stashed under his mattress like a dirty magazine. Darius had no idea how to operate one of them, but it couldn't be that hard.

Notebook in hand, he scribbled a hasty suicide note apologizing to his parents for the inconvenience, explaining why he couldn't live anymore. He stripped down to his boxers, lay in the bathtub and fiddled with the gun. It took him some time, and he could already hear his phone ringing.

That would be Felicity, his counselor. He had to hurry.

The man pulled out the magazine, loaded and cocked the firearm, then pointed it at the side of his head.

Then he paused.

[Felicity (DELETED 4145)]

Sitting there I listened to the phone ring and ring, yet no answer. I knew his parents had said that Darius was doing better, had been acclimating more now. Something didn’t sit right though. I know how people go about suicide, how goodbyes are made, the last good memories are formed. Darius has failed to open up to me, in the time I have been counseling him. Perhaps I have been to kind to him regardless though something here and now was wrong.

Shaking my head I hang up the phone when I hear his voicemail and get up. Calling the house could help but yet at the same time something in my gut told me I needed to go to him. So that is what I will do. Grabbing my bag I leave Jesse’s and my apartment. Jesse didn’t know about me getting back into counseling though, of course I would tell him, things have been busy though and right now time is of the essence.

Jesse was out hunting or something so no goodbye would be necessary. Regardless I text Jesse to let him know something has happened and I will be back later. Going to the transit I take the one that will lead me closet to Darius’ home and then head the rest of the way by a cab. I don’t have a car, not need for it really until now, until tonight.

Grabbing my phone again as I sit in the back of the cab I try the house phone and yet no answer. There was never an answer. I’m concerned, I have told his parents as much. Darius needed to feel normal again in order for him to truly ever go back to a semi normal life and pulling him from school had been a mistake, pulling him away from other people was not a good thing. Arriving at the house I glance around and take a slow unneeded breath.

Walking up to the porch my stomach sinks and my heart drops, at least that is how it feels. I begin to wonder about the vampire life, how it all really works, about the biology. Shaking my thoughts I walk up to the door and knock a few times before ringing the doorbell. If my heart were still beating I am sure it would be racing right now. I have always put a lot of time into all my patients, of course since being a vampire Darius is my first. Somehow that seems symbolic to me, telling me if I will still be able to this with what I have become.

I wait for an answer growing anxious. I know Darius is depressed, I can remember every single one of our sessions. I wonder if he has opened up to anyone, talked to anyone else. I highly doubt that. Still talking to someone was better than talking to no one at all. I am concerned greatly right now. Darius had lost a part of himself when he lost his sister that much I could see; it had been as if a part of his soul was gone now.

[Darius Storm (DELETED 4750)]

Darius lay in the tub, ignoring the cries of the household phone. He felt like he was about to let his sister down, but she was dead, what would she care? He found himself pausing to reflect for a moment on what she would have done in his position. With nobody to stick up for her, no shoulder for her to cry on, nobody to chase away the bad boys from her, Darius knew that she would have been just as lost as he felt. But he wouldn't want her to just end it. She had been the one with potential. He was an asshole, his life was a joke.

Why couldn't it have been him instead? He often asked himself that, especially lately. Now that he had a gun to his head, he was going to make things right again. There had to be a balance, and this felt like the only way to achieve it. So what was he waiting for? Why was his hand trembling? Was he afraid? Just pull the trigger, he told himself.

The doorbell rang, and he squeezed. A sickening thunder crashed through the house, and Darius lost consciousness. As the blood ran down the drain from his head wound, his heart frantically tried to keep him alive. He was going to go into cardiac arrest or die from blood loss very soon.

[Felicity (DELETED 4145)]

I heard the shot fire; I heard everything even the trigger being pulled. That was all I needed. Dropping my bag of really nothing I slammed through the door breaking it down. Racing into the house I used my new senses to find him, to try and see where he was. I could smell the blood and that alone would lead me straight to him. I could hear the heart beating fighting to survive to keep him alive. I would follow the sound and scent of him it was my best option.

If my heart still beat it would be pounding inside of my chest right now. Racing through the house I found the room that he was in. Busting through it, another door down I looked at him, the blood all over the place in the bath room. Shaking my head I didn’t breathe, I didn’t want to be distracted with anything. I raced over to Darius dropping to the floor beside him.

Grabbing him from the tub I listened paramedics would be to late, I had but one option if I wanted him to live some of a normal life. Pulling his neck up to my lips my fangs sank into him draining more of his blood from his body as I did. Setting him down again lightly I bit into my own wrist and pressed it to his lips. I should have asked him, should have thought more about this. Now though was the one time I knew was not the time to think, now was the time to react and handle the consequences later. I know there will be consequences but I don’t care about that for myself, I just want to save his life. ”Drink Darius.”

I soothe him pushing him, urging him to drink from me. If he did or didn’t I doubt it would make much difference now, enough of my blood had spilled into his mouth that surely some would have made it down his throat. Surely he would have gotten enough for this to work. I don’t know I have never turned anyone before, I don’t know the logistics of it all. Just hopefully this works. He may hate me tomorrow, hell he may hate me now but that is ok, right now I just want to save him. He had been through enough punishment in life, perhaps this life could give him something to live for.

[Darius Storm (DELETED 4750)]

The young man's torn flesh began to heal, regrowing bone and brain and skin as he lay motionless in the tub except for the occasional twitch when Felicity soothed and pushed him. Even as he healed on the outside, he was changing on the inside. He could feel every nerve in his body catch fire as they mapped new routes throughout him. Darius arched his back and siezed. His eyes opened and he stared intently at Felicity, but gave no outward indication that he could see her until his spasms stopped.

When the pain at last became a manageable discomfort, Darius seemed to gain some clarity. He furrowed his brow at Felicity. His counselor? She made it to him before he could pull the trigger? But he remembered killing himself so vividly. And there was blood on Felicity's cheek. "I messed up," he whispered and tried to stand, then fell back feebly, slapping down in his own blood. He was sure that an ambulance would be there for him soon.

His second attempt had been a failure, and Darius actually chuckled. He guessed he wasn't meant to share his sister's fate. He really would never see her again. And what was happening to him? He was starting to wax nihilistic. And then it came to him, a horrid pain in his gut. He thought he'd shot himself in the face, but why did his stomach hurt? Almost like he hadn't eaten in days.

[Felicity (DELETED 4145)]

I watch Darius patiently as I kneel there beside the tub. There will be a lot to explain. But first we need to leave her. To have it look as if he is truly gone and not returning. It will be easier that way so his family does not look for him at least for a little while to buy us some time while I help him to understand this life. Taking a slow calculated breath I give him a warm soothing smile. “Darius we need to leave, I need you to pack a bag or tell me where your bag is. Once we leave here I will explain things to you.”

I know he has questions, right now though time is of the essence. “You have a choice here Darius we can leave cover this up, or allow the ambulance to get here and make up a story, but understand either way you will have to leave.” I was calm and relax as I spoke to him trying to be as kind as I can but to get the point across that we must leave and he must come with me.

The circumstances are not perfect, and I wish they could have been better for him. I wish I could gave him a choice first, had given him the option to choose this life, but I wasn’t a person who could let someone throw their lives away. I could see something in Darius, I am not sure what it is but I think perhaps this life will suit him, will work better for him. I just have so much I need to explain to him, so much he needs to know. The rules, how to remain safe, how to feed and how to train, I am sure there will be more, plenty of it for now decisions must be made though.

I look at Darius and give him another smile letting him know that I need an answer. I know it must not be easy for him but at least here I could give him a choice, a chance to make a decision. Regardless we will leave, we have to. As I am sure the hunger has already hit him I am not certain being around any humans he may know would be a good idea right now.