Note: Anything read here is strictly OOC knowledge unless Scorpia has said it directly to your char. These are her private thoughts and feelings and are not allowed to be used in ANY rp unless discussed with me first. Thanks.
Dec. 10,2012
I haven't rested in I don't know how long. Watching over him and those close to me. I remain silent to most minus a few comments on the Crow Net. Ever since I returned I have kept to myself. I feel cold inside almost dead. I know it sounds crazy since I am a vampire. We are suppose to be dead. What I mean is I feel empty as if there is nothing for me. The fire that once burned in me is now just a flicker. The world continues to move forward but I feel like I am standing still.
Maybe it's the Christmas season. Everyone is snuggling with each other finding that special someone. Yet I can not find it in myself to let anyone in. Not again. I know it's not healthy to be this way. A vampire can drive themselves insane with such emptiness. Maybe insanity is better than what I am right now. Stuck in some kind of purgatory.
┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ Hellequin's Worse Half Sangue
VN/GB/DE/ME Queen of the misfits
And so Christmas is right around the corner. I wish I could just skip over that day but I can't. I need to shop for a gift for Shammy and Jerkface. But what do you get a psycho and a guy who is a complete ***? Why these two are remotely close to me I have no idea. There is really nothing in commonly between the three of us other then we are all shadows. Yet the combination works and I know they have my back.
Jerkface needs to get out of his funk before I kill him myself. I hate ******* emo ****. He needs to suck it up and move the **** on. I don't want him close himself off to the world like I have. He has so much to give and to just let it all slip away is ******* stupid. The man is smart and why he can't see what is right infront of his face I will never know. ******* Jerkface.
┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ Hellequin's Worse Half Sangue
VN/GB/DE/ME Queen of the misfits
Sitting at her desk a smile on her lips as her foot taps to the music playing on her Ipod. For once she was happy to write in her journal.
Your needs need attention
I'm blinded by the truth
Let me release the tension
It's taken hold of you
It's only natural
To free the animal
Locked up inside
The nature of the beast is
You want it
Nature of the beast is
I do too
Let's unleash and cut the creature loose
It's the nature of the beast in you
You wrap yourself around me
You're tightening the noose
Trapped in the cage surrounding
The sinful side of you
It's only natural
To free the animal
Locked up inside
The nature of the beast is
You want it
Nature of the beast is
I do too
Let's unleash and cut the creature loose
It's the nature of the beast in you
It's only natural
To free the animal
Locked inside you...
The nature of the beast is
You want it
Nature of the beast is
I do too
Let's unleash and cut the creature loose
It's the nature of the beast in you
The nature of the beast is
You want it
Nature of the beast is
I do too
Let's unleash and cut the creature loose
It's the nature of the beast in you*
Feb. 9, 2013
It has been a while since I have written. But it is not from lack of things to write about. Actually it's the opposite. I am please to say that I have woken from self induced punishment of depression! I had enough of being sad, enough of being angry. But more importantly I had enough waiting around for someone who really doesn't deserve me. Since I figured that out and made my stand, I feel much better. It's kinda like that first burst of cool air after a hot summer. So wonderfully refreshing!
So who do I owe this feeling of renewed self respect? It's actually a few people. Shamus and Liz to start with. Both helped me find the strength inside me to break out of my self made prison. And then there is one other person. An unexpected friend who made me smile. Jake and I knew each other before. But lately we have gotten to know one another better. Come to find out we have a lot more in common than what one would think.
The other night we were playing around being our usual selves. A challenge was made. All he had to do was find me an unique gift and I would go on a date with him. I honestly didn't think he could do it. Most would have either gone with getting me flowers or a weapon. Both would be the wrong choice and I would get out of going on a date. Surprisingly Jake thought outside the box and got me something that was so wonderfully unique I could not help but smile. He gave me the cutest little bunny, that I named Reggie. Reggie fits in my jacket pocket and goes everywhere with me. The little fellow is very loveable.
So anyway I now have to go on a date with Jake. Where, when or what I am to wear, I have no clue. It's all on him. To say I am not a little excited would be a lie. I am looking forward to spending a little time with him. Like I said we have a lot in common. Anyway I need to put Reggie to bed. Such a cute and fluffy little fellow..
*Nature of the beast by the band My Darkest Days
┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ Hellequin's Worse Half Sangue
VN/GB/DE/ME Queen of the misfits
I am happy.. No wait.. More than happy. I am like high on happiness right now! Truth be told I am still smiling even as I type this. I can still smell his scent on my clothes, and if I close my eyes I can almost feel him next to me. I don't know what the future holds for us, and I don't care. For now I am happy for each night we are together. He makes me laugh, he makes me feel... Like I am more than ...Well it doesn't matter. The point is I don't want this feeling to go away.
I am pretty sure that Shamus is going to see this stupid smile on my face and tease me. The man knows me too well. I suppose it's a good thing to have a best friend that knows you so well. I just know I won't hear the end of it. So lets just hope that things continue to go well. There are so many adventures that lay ahead of us and I hope he is looking forward to them as much as I am.
┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ Hellequin's Worse Half Sangue
VN/GB/DE/ME Queen of the misfits
Time flies when you are having fun. It's strange to for me to be smiling so much but it is also strange for me to be happy. Things are going well with the Sangue. I "adopted" a few new members as well as sired a few new ones. All of them are complete with smart asses. But you know they keep things interesting.
I haven't really spoken to Wolf. Seems lately we have grown apart. It would be a lie to say I didn't miss him. I do. But I think Wolf needs to do what I did and find himself again. I want him to be as happy as I am and I want the best for him. But until he does some soul searching I fear he will not be that happy.
Anyway I have been playing nurse with Jake lately. That man is like a hunter magnet. Luckily I have the resources to get him healed up. I have to buy new sheets because he got blood all over them! Now don't get me wrong... I like blood play as much as anyone else. Except in this case someone else drew the blood and I am stuck with the clean up. Oh well the things we do for others. He is just going to owe me big time when he is better. Like buying me new sheets!
Anyway I really don't have time to write much more. Like I said I am playing nurse and need to check on Jake. I promise I will write more soon.
┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ Hellequin's Worse Half Sangue
VN/GB/DE/ME Queen of the misfits
┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
