An account of events

[Roderic]

Phoenix is in the wilderness and taking time away.
Blake threatens people to not look for her or they'll be meeting with him.
I laughed internally.
Then I logged off the Altaire Crownet.
I won't be going back there after tonight.

Thing is back.
I talked to her briefly.
Maybe we can meet up again.
She had things to do. I would have helped her do those things if she asked.

I believe Beverly is going to be following in my footsteps.
I don't care.
Whatever makes her happy.
I warned her, but I'm sure she'll be fine.

I don't think Skylar's gone through with her experiment yet.
I should ask.
I will ask.

Last week Velveteen pulled me to a meeting.
Offered me something and then asked me how I felt.
I still don't know how I feel about it.
I haven't been in a situation where my thoughts are needed in this position yet.
I doubt I would feel negative about it.
I think I would like the responsibility and know I can carry out the task required of the position.
I think I am pleased with the offer and position.

I am going to meet with her tonight.
I don't know if she can assist me, but if she can, I want her assistance in it.
Or someone else in Tytonidae.

[Roderic]

It's done.
Micah did the ritual for me, even though I was fine with Aeryn doing it.
I just needed some oils and antiques.
I felt nothing when it was done.
No difference.
I'm confident that means the choice was the right one for me.
I'm just hoping my Things don't get **** for my decision.
I picked Hawthorne. I thought about Thorne, but with Aliyah doing whatever for the last few months and Nate still being human, I doubt any of them will care.
Plus, Thorne sounds like a chick last name. Or chickish.

There was this weird moment with Vel.
I didn't know what to say or do.
So I said nothing.
Nodded and stuff. And stared.
Was uncomfortable.

Skylar was pissy at me earlier in the week.
Hello, Allurist. I almost forgot that was what you were.
So, I boosted a car, we did some things in it and then I lit it on fire and destroyed the thing.
Now she won't shut up about it.
It was either the best idea ever, or the worst.
Time will tell.

[Roderic]

Indisposed.
What does that even mean?
On vacation?
Unable to get cellphone and computer signals?
That word seems heavy. Nefarious.
It sounds like someone needs to die.
I want to ask Velveteen, but she's one of the indisposed people.

I came home to a 'surprise.'
See how I wrote that?
I'm not sure it's a good one.
The wife decided to be clever and use her hacking skills to make a forum for our family.
Because Micah helped me create my own bloodline, so now we can be together online.
Can't be online in the wilderness.
Anyways.
People I sired, people she's sired, Juliet, since she's the only sibling I'll claim and needs someone looking after her, and that sire of a carebear, Elliot.
Aliyah got added too since she's my real life half sister and I thought about Nate, only because we should talk more, but with there being vampire things on there...not a good idea.
I added Doc too, because he's Nix's real life dad or something and he's cool as hell. He can be 'related' to me.
And I needed another guy in the forum to help me stay sane when I read it.
I mean, I'm not sure why we needed this forum.
I don't even like logging on to a computer.
I don't even know how to navigate on a forum half the time.
One time I got redirected to porn.
And I watched it.
I got some tips.
Hey, **** you. My wife liked it.

I get it. She's pissed at Elliot and Pi for not adding me to whatever they call themselves.
And she's not been added to Altaire, though that's a lost point now, isn't it?
And even though we talk face to face, I guess she thinks we need to talk online too.
I don't see that happening a lot.
And already Juliet and her are doing what women do.
Banding together.
Giving me grief.
I'm logging off to go stab things before I stab my wife in a not so kinky way.
Women.

[Roderic]

There is something not right.
Maybe a couple things that are not right.

There is a discordance in my life.
I am not pleased with this.
I don't know what to do about it.

I think working on one thing at a time is the best way to tackle this.
Rome wasn't built in a day, they say.

First the personal, then the professional.

[Roderic]

My Thing is back.
We have talked briefly.
Trying to get a time and place to sit down and talk is almost impossible.
It seems to be like that with a lot of people lately.

My wife has been recording she says.
I'm not jealous.
I just think it seems odd. To be gone a lot.
With the guys.
I'm suspicious. Not of her. Of the guys.

I'm feeling unfulfilled again.
My hands are not as dirty as they used to be. Could be.
Should be.
Problematic.
Maybe I will start Christmas gifts early this year.
After things are taken care of.

[Roderic]

I finally got Skylar to spit it out.
I don't like it. It's one of those be careful what you wish for things.
Dillon.
We always circle back to him.
Every few months his name crops up.
Like a ghost. She's making a ghost, but I don't care that he's dead. He's not my ghost.
He's her ghost. Her ghost of regret maybe.
I don't live in the past. What's done is done.

Maybe I should have stayed on Aliyah's couch.
Left Skylar to her human friend.
Maybe he should have been the one she married.
I'm over that story. Have been for months.
Maybe I was wrong. We are wrong.
There can be no future when someone is stuck in the past. It cripples you. I know.

[Roderic]

It's my birthday, only it's not.
Cause I'm dead. Can't keep adding on years when you've stopped aging.
But she's made it a thing.

And even though it's my not birthday, the gift she got me...
Nailed it.
I'm going to flay someone with it and then shred their entrails.
Christmas might be okay this year.
I'm going hunting.

[Roderic]

An entire month has gone by since I've written anything in here.
Does that mean I have nothing to write about or does it mean I'm too busy to write?
I hope the latter.
Immortality can't suck already since I've not lived past the expected time frame of a human being.

I blame stupid holidays like Christmas. All the work that goes into it to make people happy for .0000000001 seconds.
The whole thing it stupid anyways.
Christmas trees don't have anything to do with god or baby Jesus.
People hate strangers knocking at their door today as much as they did back then.
Presents have nothing to do with God or Baby Jesus either.
I remember they gave presents to baby Jesus, but normal kids aren't this Jesus guy.
It's a commercialized holiday is all. Like everything else.

I think about what it would be like if Joseph and Mary were vampires and she was pregnant with a fadebeast.
The gift would be copious amounts of blood in chalices.
Joseph would break down the first door that slammed in his face and Mary would birth that fadebeast out and it would slaughter them all.
The wise men would know better than to come looking for that thing and, there wouldn't be any angels.
Only Tytonidae opening a can of whoop *** to save the day.

Yeah, I know sometimes I have these weird thoughts. I blame Sister B since she's on my mind a lot.
I don't go around thinking about God and Jesus, but when I think about Sister B, I can't help it.
I have some things I want to talk to her about. I want her to be comfortable and successful at this life.
I don't think she has been.
And that's my fault.

I met a girl. Chick. Woman.
Katie or something.
No. Kaelyn. She was at the Tytonidae masquerade party a few weeks back.
She's related to Doc somehow.
Skylar didn't come because she was doing something with the band.
Which is okay. All she would have wanted to do was find a way to sneak off and do the dirty.
I think that's all she thinks about sometimes.
It's a little disconcerting. Who needs sex that much?
Look. I like it. I just don't think about it as much as she does.

Velveteen and I had a discussion about a week ago.
It was informative on both our ends.
Not as awkward as other meetings have been in the past.
I walked away pleased with the topic of conversation.
I think she did too.

[Roderic]

Is it wrong for me to want to eradicate everything that might be a potential threat to the vampire species?
I keep asking myself that.
I asked it after I paid some guys to put some pot on some guys from the order.
I ask it as I walk the street and listen to the garbage they all spew.
I ask it as I think of my things. All of them.
I ask it as I think of my apartment. My space.
My faction.
Will these things be safe? Will they remain?
And then I come to realize maybe it is wrong.
Maybe I should watch and wait. Gather information.
Do not leap before looking.
And do nothing for now.

[Roderic]

I'm not siring anymore women.
I don't understand them and don't care to.
I've got one thing that vanishes for weeks or months, comes back and throws some attitude.
It's not my fault you're impossible to track down.
Especially when I'm a damn good tracker.
Then I've got another who is 'emo' over me siring her.
Get over it. You've had a couple months to adjust by now.
I'm not sorry.
I'll sire who I want, when I want.
And finally, Sister B. She's crazy.
One minute she's telling tales about the wizard of Oz or something, the next she's trying to make me feel guilty for not spending time with her.
I attempt this communication thing and she vanishes.
What do you women want?

I'm thankful for River though.
She's not given me any issues.
Still early though.
Time will tell.