The Musings of Keara Aithne

[Keara Aithne]

8th March 2015

Lied to me he did. Hate that I do. Lied to me for it he did. For it to see. Told me he did that he business had. Then left me he did. Confessed he did the truth once returned he did. Told him I did that lie to me again he may not, else kill it I shall. Hope I do that that unnecessary is. Understand though I do not how he that to me can do. How he to me can lie. Knows he does how feel I do. Knows he does that trusting him now difficult for me is. So lies he does. No sense to me does that make. How can I him trust when lies he does? How does that our relationship heal? Thinking of me I think he is not. Only of it. If thought of me he did, of us, lied to me he never would have. Stand I cannot for him to lose, but fear I do that lost him I already have.

[Keara Aithne]

9th March 2015

Changing my mind in this every hour I am. Like that I do not. Know I do not how to feel? What say I should? What do I can? Things today normal do seem. Enver wonderfully affectionate is being. Good use of the darkness this night we made. Like that I do. Need that I do. Need him I do.

Write of something else perhaps I should, though know I do not what then to pen. News of the family I have not. So consumed with my husband I have been. So cold those words are. And wrong it all seems. For no news of my family to have, and for him my husband to call when he more than that is. My Love. My Enver. My life. My world. Those better words are.

[Keara Aithne]

11th March 2015

Know I do that right we are not. More than a feeling it is. Enver strange songs posting on the family forum is. Understood the first I did not. The second perhaps more understandable is. If for me it was. Perhaps thinking of it he was. Wrong I must be for that to think. See our forum she cannot. Destroy me it would for to think that he of it thusly thinks. Note perhaps the song I should. Maroon 5’s ‘Sugar.’ Though if it for me is, makes no sense it does. Overly affectionate with him been I have. Trying too much I have been for to compensate for what lost has been. Perhaps doing the same he is, through this song to post. Though know I do not that the song for me is. Hope it though perhaps I may. Then perhaps conclude I can that trying he is for to show that loves me he does. Before said I would have that know that I do. And say that now perhaps also I might, only now doubt there is, where there doubt before was not. Turned it he did, despite the promise that made me he did. Reason for this there must be. Reason there is as to why he it would save. In love with it perhaps he is. That possible is. Yes? For in love with some to fall the moment you see them do. Think of that I cannot. Stop myself here I must. Know I do not how live I shall if that true is. My world destroyed shall be.

[Keara Aithne]

12th March 2015

Raids good are for my mind busy to keep. Enjoy I do the family that have we do. Lorde me today ‘ma’ did call. Perhaps before done that she has but today smiled I did for that to hear. Love her I do as if she mine is. Feels she does like mine. Family she is. Charlotte at the raid too was. With Xian. She very talkative was. Though true perhaps that is not. Talks she does not to me often these days. But talked with me today she did. Miss her I do. More of Xian I do see and hear. Learning in the raids he is. That good is. Told me he did that some creatures too difficult for him to handle are. But expect him I do not for more to do than what capable of he is.

Enver acting strange is. Games with me playing he is. In the sewers this eve hid he did. Playful he is though, at times. So perhaps so strange it is not. See more in his actions these days I do. More aware of him I am. Though thought I did not that that possible was. But like I do not the feeling that in my stomach is. Left it has not since told me he did what done he had. Hope I do that leaves soon it does. Understand it I do not.

[Keara Aithne]

13th March 2015

Happy I am for to hear that Xian the raids does enjoy. Trying I have been for the hacking to him to leave. Think I do that that all he capable of is. But think I do that wants he does for ore to do. That good is. At least think that I do.

Write of the puppies I should. Healthy they are. Happy that me does make. Sandy good with them too is. Good choice I think she was. Skilled, calm, patient. Likes the puppies she does. Good with animals she is. Less time for me has she does than Andrew. That like I do not but her best she does. Want I do not for her life from her to take, others her skills do need. Need I do for that to remember when delayed she is. Or when sleeping she is. Sleeps much at night she does.

[Keara Aithne]

15th March 2015

Think I do that manipulating me he is. Happy I was for in his arms to be. Dancing we were. Told me he did that he happier is, than he in years has been. But then doubted that I did the moment that left me he did. Went he did for it to see, again. Lied to me though this time he did not. Glad for that I am. Only like I do not for to feel, that he me only happy wished to make so that he it could visit. So affectionate upon his return he was not. Guilty feels he does perhaps, for it to leave. So long a time with it he did not spend. That perhaps my mind can calm. Like I do not for the worst of him to think. Like I do for this way at all to think. Stop here I shall. Matters worse perhaps make I do for these thoughts to paper to commit. Real makes them it does. And real I wish them not to be.

[Keara Aithne]

16th March 2015

Another raid there was today. Nox over me is watching. Feel that I do. This distraction much needed is. Izidora this time with us did come. Important it is for her skills to test. Know she cannot if enjoys she does these things, unless tries them she does. Think I do that she a bit young is for of any real use to be but at least learn then she can what possible is. Much is there of this world that learn she must. Happy I was for distracted to be. Enver quite magnificent was. But then spoiled my sanctuary for me he did. Dared he did of it to speak. Said he did that invite it I should if I help in such a place do need and he unavailable is. Thinks he does that I it can use. Wrong he is. Prefer I would for not to raid if at my side he is not. His place taken by another can never be. Sure I am that knows that he does. Know I do not, why felt the need he did for it then to mention. Happy till then I was. Enjoy I do with my family to play.

[Keara Aithne]

17th March 2015

Things better today were. For us. Not with the raid. The raid soon over was. Mind I do not how far get we do, especially if younglings with us we do have. Enver and I time did find for ourselves in one another to lose. That most satisfying was. That one aspect of our relationship is, wherein we no trouble have. Though later upset him I did. Spoke with Crash I did. Enver not happy was. Asked Crash I did if he e’er wished that he a vampire was. Enver assumed did, that offering I was for his thrall to turn. No such offer had I made. Only curious I was for to know if Crash that did desire. Such an enquiry again I shall not make, for Enver quite annoyed was. Deanna later told me did that Enver crash did attack and quite injured he was. Understand I do not why Enver that did do, Crash nothing wrong had done. Though mentioned it was again that perhaps shower with another I might. Allow me he will not for my mistake to forget. Though why thinks he does that desire I e’er would with Crash to shower I know not. Ridiculous that thought is. Hurts though it does, for to think that never forgiven I shall be. Desire I do not for with any other to be. If changed the past could be, change it now I would. Summon My Love to me I would so that we together our son could help. That mistake again I ne’er shall make.

[Keara Aithne]

19th March 2015

Wonder I do if puppies better off in our room would be? Moved they had to be, to a room that their own was. Under our feet too often they were. Living now with Sandy they are. Only one floor down they are but still. Considering I am for Gizmo and Leeloo upstairs to bring. Though cruel that might be. Wish I do not them from their children to separate. Only… Miss them I do. When things strained with Enver are, like I do not for Sandy from her room to expel. Perhaps a room on the ground floor for them converted could be. A room in which play they can. A room to which taken they can be when need I do their comfort. Leeloo always happy to see me is. Like that I do. Comforts me she does. Strange the bond is between pet and owner. Strong. That probably the reason is why consider them our children of sorts. Crazy that me does make. Perhaps. Though seen I have others that their dogs so do treat. Peter most affectionate with his pack is.

[Keara Aithne]

21st March 2015

Leif visited today did. Seen her in some time I have not. Possible is that here she has been. That distracted I was. That saw her I did not. Like I do not for to think that that possible is. Though happy seemed she did. At least said nothing she did that lead me for to believe that she unhappy was. Gave me some traps she did. Remember I must for these to set. A number have I do in storage now. Speak with Enver I shall for to see where placed they should be. Know myself I do the locations that best are, but hurt it shall not for his opinion to seek. This his home too is and ideas have he might, that thought of I have not.