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Re: Introspect

Posted: 09 Apr 2017, 03:46
by Hannah Lynn (DELETED 8242)
March 29th


The clothes came, finally! I didn't really know what to order 'U' because I don't know anything about him. I went with something 'safe,' and tall. I hope tall enough. He has almost a foot on me, or maybe more. He's really tall.

I call him 'U' because we still don't know what his name is and I really don't like thinking about him as 'unknown.' I'm sure he's not unknown to someone out there. Where ever they are. I don't call him 'U' to his face, I'm not that rude, but when I think about him he's just 'U.'

He has an accent, different than the people who are native to here. I can't place it yet, but I'm going to try and find out. Maybe that could lead us in the right direction. Jog a memory, or some memories. Any memory.

I've thought of names, but I don't think any of them fit him. All the Japanese names that I know don't. Then I think about all the books I've read, or own and think of the character's names. Atticus, from To kill a Mocking Bird. I know, he's not that old, but I'm racking my brain trying to think of a name. Benvolio in Romeo and Juliet, which also leaves Romeo out there for the taking and anyone else in that play. Caliban...again, I doubt it. All these Shakespearean names sound too 'old' for him. I wonder how old he is. Not in vampire years, I mean how old he was, when he died.

Dorian for Dorian Gray, or was it Grey? Gulliver from Gulliver's travel's obviously. Holden...I really stink at this naming thing. I know he'll pick one soon, I just don't like not calling him something and just talking to him. I can't come home from work and say, 'How was your night...so and so? It's definitely not personalized. Which hasn't been a problem so far. He's actually a great roommate-if that's what I can call him. Minus the towel thing. Not that I think he's doing it on purpose, he had no clothes and nothing I have fits him, but I can just imagine my sister some night on Facetime and getting a peek of that. She would probably be on a plane tomorrow. Not that I could blame her--but...

Re: Introspect

Posted: 10 Apr 2017, 22:42
by Hannah Lynn (DELETED 8242)
April 10th,


At least I don't have to have the conversation with Gino anymore. I don't know if I'm happy about that, or pissed off.

Re: Introspect

Posted: 26 Apr 2017, 03:09
by Hannah Lynn (DELETED 8242)
April 5th,


'U' is now 'Freddie.' He picked the name, which is good. I couldn't come up with anything better. A lot worse, that's for sure, but nothing better. I don't know how he came up with it, but he likes it and that's what matters.

We went and saw Iris. That's a long story, and something I'll add more about later. Iris is the woman I met a long time ago-right before Canada's Thanksgiving. She had an old book that I bought Levi for his birthday. Other than Levi, she's the only vampire I know-or at least know where to find her.

I've sort of vampire proofed the apartment more. The living room mostly, even though Freddie is dead to the world when the sun comes up. I think I did it more for myself. I'd feel really bad if I let any sun get in while he's sleeping and it burned him. I wonder how 'bad' it would be if the sun did shine on him? Would he burst into flames, or is that a Hollywood thing?

I should probably stop writing about that. It sounds like I'm planning on setting him on fire or something. I'm not. I'm just curious-but not curious enough to risk it. I probably could ask him...in a not so potentially homicidal way.

Off the topic of 'U', or Freddie, I'm glad spring is finally here. Some days it's been warm enough to compare to summer. I'm in the mood to camp again. One time last year was not enough. I should see if Judah wants to go--on second thought...maybe not. Not after everything with the woods and his lack of sleeping a few weeks ago. I don't really want to make him take part in something uncomfortable. We could do something else. There's a whole summer ahead of us!

Re: Introspect

Posted: 02 May 2017, 04:46
by Hannah Lynn (DELETED 8242)
May 1st,


Right. So a lot of stuff has happened since I've acquired a roommate. 'U', or 'Freddie,' is not really any of those people, but someone named Elliot Lancaster. He heard it from his thrall with his mind powers. I think. I'm not really sure actually how that worked, but that's what he says and I believe him. I mean, why wouldn't I?

I'm pretty sure he's not a serial killer or someone shady, because he could have taken anything and did a runner, and he could have killed me in my sleep. He hasn't done any of those things. And he hasn't, or should I say, doesn't drink my blood. He likes vampire blood too. Even though he's a vampire. Learn something new every day-well, night in this case.

I sent him some names of some music I thought he should listen to. Maybe he'll figure out more things-like what music he liked when he could remember things. I'm not trying to get him to figure anything out, well, at least nothing big. Music is just music. Some is good and some sucks. He should stay away from the latter.

Freddie's going to go to the bank sometime this week I think. Now that he knows who he is. Who he sort of is. I don't think he wants to know and that's okay. I envy him. The way he can disappear and stay off the grid. Which, oddly enough has sort of inspired me to think of a different tactic. I can't kill Gino. I've thought of at least ten different ways and all of them are impossible, or flat out ridiculous scenarios. So, why can't I, like Freddie, disappear off the grid? Off Gino's radar?

I'm not thrilled about it. That means I can't go back to my job. I can't stay in this apartment, or keep my truck. Basically, I can't take anything with me, if I have to do this. Which, I think I do. I mean, there's really no other way to get out from under someone's thumb like that. I'm keeping my cats though. Screw that and screw Gino.

Re: Introspect

Posted: 05 May 2017, 03:37
by Hannah Lynn (DELETED 8242)
May 2nd,


After I got home from work, I started looking online for places that had live music. Remember when I said that 'U,' rather, 'Freddie,' was actually named Elliot Lancaster? Well, after I hit 'return' on the keyboard, a handful of places showed up and the first one-which usually means something really good-or sometimes something really bad...was a place called 'Lancasters.' A coincidence?

Nope. The review site said when it was established and named who the owner of 'Lancasters' was. I'll give you one guess. Yep. Freddie-or Elliot Lancaster. The reviews were positive-really great, actually. It sounds like it's a pretty busy place, with good music...which sort of stinks for him. It seems successful, and busy, but he doesn't remember any of it. I'm still under the impression he's suffered some sort of trauma and hasn't healed from it yet. Who could walk away from something they created? Something that was successful too?

I thought about telling him, but I don't know how to bring it up. He wants to be Freddie-but...is that the right choice? Shouldn't I be helping him heal and regain his memories and past life? Then again, maybe there are things in his old life he shouldn't remember.

I'll tell him after our date. The night after our date. So it's not ruined before we go out, because I do want to go on a date with Freddie. That sounds almost borderline selfish. Withholding information to get what I want. It's not like that, even if it sounds close to that...It's not.

Re: Introspect

Posted: 05 Nov 2017, 13:24
by Hannah Lynn (DELETED 8242)
September 27th,
It's been longer than three days. I miss you. I hope you're alright and that this 'cure' is worth everything we hope it is.

Re: Introspect

Posted: 31 Dec 2017, 02:19
by Hannah Lynn (DELETED 8242)
December 15th,


I haven't written in you in a while. Life has been...crazy busy. Mostly for Freddie and the whole cure thing. It took much longer than three days. Try almost two months. TWO MONTHS.

It was-scary. Life changing. I was worried about him for so many reasons. I don't remember how many times I thought he was going to die, or go to a point that I couldn't bring him back from. Mentally. But, it's done with. The 'cure' worked.
Freddie is human again.
I'm not.

I don't know how to feel about that. I'm thrilled for him, don't get me wrong. I'm glad his perseverance paid off. I'm glad he had enough faith or belief that the cure would work to see it through. I don't know if I could have. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I want to become human, after seeing what I saw in him. Which means...I don't know what that means.
He's human now. I'm not. What if I never become human?

I mean, he could be mentally stronger than I am. Physically, there's no doubt. What if I can't pull it off?

What does it mean? Or, what will it mean for us?
We talked about things-human things. If the cure worked, while he was a guinea pig.
Camping. Marriage. Family. Children.
Things, I can't give him as a vampire.
He'll want these things. He hasn't had them in who knows how long? I would want those things, if I could have them.
Well, definitely the camping bit.
Who am I kidding?
I'd want them all, given I can't have any of it as a vampire.
What will it mean for us, if I am not strong enough to take the cure?

Re: Introspect

Posted: 31 Dec 2017, 02:33
by Hannah Lynn (DELETED 8242)
December 27th,


It's so good to be back at work. I owe Iris a lot, more than a lot. When I was on my way home, I saw something on a notice board at the train station while I waited for the train. A New Year's Eve party.

I don't like going to locations and events that I: Don't know the people. Don't know the owner of the function, but I think after being cooped up with Freddie (not that being with Freddie was bad, but the scenario we were in was a little stressful) I'm going to check it out. Maybe I can put in a good word for Iris' business. Spread the word and make some contacts for her, as it's a business themed thing.

Anyways, I'm excited to see what the New Year brings. Freddie is human now, we're back home, there's a routine of normalcy again. Sort of. More on that later, but I'm still looking forward to 2018.

Re: Introspect

Posted: 07 Jan 2018, 22:43
by Hannah Lynn (DELETED 8242)
December 29th,


I found the dress for the NYE party. I'm hoping Freddie will come out, but I understand if he doesn't want to either. I'm not going to force the issue. Life is sort of new again? If that makes sense. It does to me.

I told Iris I was going to spread the word about her business, and I wasn't surprised to hear that she wasn't planning on going herself. Is it rude to ask someone how old they are in terms of vampire years? I get the strong sense she's at least one hundred judging by her mannerisms and the way she dresses. There's nothing wrong with either-it's just interesting. Almost stepping back in time.

I've not seen Judah in a while, but that's expected. Sort of being locked up (even willingly) for almost two months sort of does that. I saw Alaric and asked about Judah, but I think he didn't know who I was. Or doesn't like me. Probably the latter. I didn't go out of my way to meet him, but I sort of had a lot going on the last time I had a chance to meet him. I really didn't want to try and munch on the guy in front of Judah.

I hope Judah comes to the party. It seems like something he would be interested in. Then, we can catch up properly.