Re: As the Spawns Spit, Spew and Sputter
Posted: 05 Feb 2015, 21:02
--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--
Doc: "So **** him." Doc shrugged. "You talk to him when you need to because he is in the faction. Be respectful to the position he holds; not necessarily because it is him. You are respecting his position. Other than that.. **** him. You don't need his approval as a person. You don't need his emotion tirade outbursts either."
Phoenix: She sighed and looked at him, completely at a loss for a moment. He made it sound far too easy. Far too... bearable. After a long moment, she nodded. "Alright... none of that fixes the wedding..."
Doc: He inwardly cringed. The wedding. He didn't want to get pulled into that. His gut would be to tell her to cancel it. But would that be fair? really? Just because he hated Blake? "I am not the best person to talk to about weddings Boo..."
Phoenix: "I think we're going to cancel it - we're both too upset right now to want to be happy, and we both deserve better than that. For each other. I don't want to remember forcing myself to be happy for my wedding..." In a word, she sounded defeated.
Doc: He put aside that Blake was involved in this situation. "Boo. **** happens. It happens now, it will happen next week. If you want to cancel, that is your call. But if you are canceling because you can't be 'happy on your wedding' because of the **** with Micah.. you don't need to be getting married. Marriage is ******* hard. You think it will be all flowers and happy ****, you are wrong. The Wedding is the easy part. It only gets harder from then on." He sighed. "Personally I want you to cancel. Not because of Micah. But because I don’t think you are ready for the stress of marriage."
Phoenix: Listening, she nodded once or twice. She didn't necessarily agree, she just couldn't find a flaw in the reasoning. At last not an immediate one. "It's not just the **** with Micah... It's everything that's happened over the past few days. I'm not upset with Blake. He's not upset with me. We're both just... angry at everything else. I know you don't like it, but he's been good to me, dad... Even last night. He was livid when I summoned him, but he didn't leave. He didn't lash out at me. He let me be selfish and use him as a pillow without complaining."
Doc: Doc wanted to say, "I would ******* hope so.. it is the man's position to protect, not lash out. And you should not have had to summon his ***. He should have been there for you from the beginning." That was what he wanted to say. Instead he said, "Good.. " It wasn't much but it wasn't negative either.
Phoenix: "Good?" she asked, eyeing him suspiciously. Her brow furrowed as she squinted, barely noticing that she was slowly uncurling from around her cushion. She wasn't happy, per se, but she was feeling a bit better. "You told me he'd fucked over two women... Can you tell me who they were? Zoey and...? Madison? Wolffyn?"
Doc: "Boo.. we discussed it. You asked me why I felt the way I did. I told you. But I am not going to reveal the names. Not now, not ever. Why? Because it's more than you that would be affected. You just want to know. But lets say I told you.. and you innocently mention to someone, who mentions it to someone .. who tells one of the females. Maybe she would be ok with it. Or maybe it would throw her into a tailspin, like you are experiencing now. I am not taking that chance. It is not just about you.”
Phoenix: She gave him a rather stern look. "I want to know because it's relevant to you not liking my husband. I don't really talk to people about past relationships because it's tacky as ****." She clung to her cushion and waited for a name.
Doc: "I am not telling you." Then he used her words against her, "Talking about past relationships is tacky as ****." He gave her an even look.
Phoenix: By the look in her eyes, he may as well have slapped her. She flinched away, tightening her grip on the pillow and pressing her lips into a thin line. After a moment of silent grinding her teeth, she mumbled. "I don't understand why it was a strike, not a warning like everyone else gets the first time."
Doc: "Probably because you have been through this so many times before.. you should not need a warning. You should know better." He gave her a look that tried to be understanding, by really came across more as confused, as though he didn't get why she didn't get this. "When Micah starts yelling, just shut the **** up. Remember everything he says.. but don't answer. Micah likes to bait .. and you take the bait ... every single time. ******* stop taking the bait Boo."
Phoenix: "Except I haven't... Since I've been back, I've been good. I haven't been confrontational, I haven't nit picked..." she sighed, giving a shrug. "I've been trying to be pleasant and non problematic... and they treated me like I'm the same person I used to be... and I'm not."
Doc: "It takes time Boo. And .. " He knew she would not like what he was about to say.. but for her continued growth he needed too. "You have probably set yourself back. You have been doing remarkably well. You have shown great restraint, in regard to Lia. I have seen it. I know that Ari, Vel and Micah have all seen it. But you still have temper tantrums." He thought back to the night Phoenix got her full membership back. "And that is what they are.. temper tantrums, like a small child would have."
Phoenix: She gave him a long, measured look, jaw set. When she spoke, her voice was icy. "I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I haven't had a temper tantrum in ages. Certainly not over this - don't you dare call me being misunderstood aa ******* temper tantrum."
Doc: "I wasn't talking about this event Boo. And I know you aren't perfect. No one is ******* perfect. In fact most of us are ******* dysfunctional." He sighed, "To succeed in this world, we have to learn how to use our dysfunctions to our own advantage. It may not be something we can learn overnight. It will probably take a while. But we need to be in a state of constant learning. When we stop trying to learn, we are going to get passed by.. or worse.."
Phoenix: Shifting, she tucked her legs under herself and loosed her grip on the cushion, if only a bit. Even though she still felt miserable, it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been. "I... just don't understand why the strike was necessary when a warning would have sufficed. I'm never going to. And that's why this feels so shitty... It's not that it's discipline, it's that it's a second level disciplinary action when I never even got a first. When Vel knows it wasn't even meant to be contentious... that's not fair."
Doc: "Baby.. life isn't fair." he shook his head. "I would love to be able to tell you .. 'oh.. it wasn't fair.. let's go fix it. 'Vel that wasn't fair.' Vel says 'Oh dear.. so sorry, it's undone!.' " He sighed. "It doesn't work that way. You have learned a lesson. Stay the **** away from Micah. He will bait you.. for hell of it. And if you rise to the bait.. you will lose." He put an arm around her shoulders, "It's alright to feel shitty. When I feel that .. someone usually dies. It lets me get my aggression out."
Phoenix: She let herself fall against him, a soft sigh escaping her lips. "The only reason Micah's a leader is because he's ******* Vel. He doesn't deserve the responsibility. He can't handle it. He can't keep his temper in check and he doesn't have the temperament to lead... anything." There. She'd said it, and it felt damn good. It's what she'd felt since she'd joined Ty the first time around, though she'd hoped, then, that he'd grow into the position. Instead, he'd grown into more of an asshole..
Doc: "So now you see this. Now you are better armed for the future. When issues arise, go to Vel, or suck it up." He played with her hair, "Not everyone handles leadership well. I can't really speak on the matter of leading. Every time I have been given the role to lead, there was a book of standards, or procedures already in place, and it was me quoting that ****." He paused, "Being a vampire didn't come with a manual. We are all pretty much winging it. But we have to continue to learn adapt and adjust. Things wont be fair. It's life."
Phoenix: She'd kind of expected him to be upset. Instead he seemed to get it. She blinked and tucked herself in closer, exchanging the cushion for his other arm and hugging it despite the awkward angle. Of course she knew he wasn't fond of the clinging, but that didn't matter. She was upset. "No, it didn't... but neither did being a human. Neither did being a friend... he's just... cruel. I was willing to look past it because I thought he was my friend, because deep down, I thought he cared. But he doesn't... and that hurts."
Doc: "Plus men are ******* bastards." He stiffened slightly, then forced himself to relax. "Let's look at it like this.. It's not like you had drinks with him, and watch the game with him every week.. and now thats gone. Or the two of you went hunting together.. What did you two actually do together.. trade barbs." He rolled his eyes, "You are really going to miss that. I can see why you are so upset.. " His voice was dry. "Please Boo. You aren't really losing that much are you?"
Phoenix: She frowned and then shook her head slowly. "I don't think you understand... He used to care about me and it used to be obvious... Before I joined Ty, he'd adopted me into his family - Volkov at the time. I didn't have anyone else, but he was always there for me. We used to hang out a lot... I even had a massive stupid little kid crush on him at one point. We were closer than it ever showed..."
\
Doc: "I am sorry Boo. People change. I know I have changed compared to what I was at a human. I get angry quicker. I never used to. I could take the rudeness and ridicule from the coworkers, and let it slide right away. Now.. it's not so easy. I think there is more going on with the change into what I am now, than I first realized. It seems my bad qualities are more amplified, and my good ones, are fading. Something to think about."
Phoenix: "But you found me, so your lack of good qualities is amply made up for." She gave a nod and even managed a smile, weak as it was. "I worry that I disappoint you, though..."
Doc: "Look.. don't worry about that. Just be yourself. I don't want to get to know, the person who is worried all the time. I want to get to know my daughter. Alright?"
Phoenix: She gave him a look, one that said she didn't quite believe what he was saying. Perhaps because she wasn't sure where to tease apart her and the worry-wart she'd become. "I'll... try. Deal?"
Doc: Doc leaned back to look at her, his face was serious, "That is all I have ever is asked.. is for you to try. I do not want you to be any one other than who you are. Can we all improve who we are? Yes. We can, myself included. You might say we are all 'works in progress'. I do not expect results overnight. It is the little milestones that we make.. that tell the mettle of us. As long as we pushing forward.. we are growing and trying." He hoped that made sense.
Phoenix: Listening, she gave a few quick nods before settling in against his side. There was nothing for her to add - she understood, and so she remained silent, thoughts bouncing from one idea to the next without rhyme or reason. For a while, she let the silence creep on, until... "Dad... We should play Mario Kart some day..."
Doc: "What is that?" He envisioned going to a 'play zone' area, and driving a racing style go cart. That actually appealed to him. He always wanted to do that. But until he had most information, he wasn't agreeing to ****. For all he knew he would be stuck in some amusement park in a log, having his photo made with a bunch of strangers.
Phoenix: "It's a video game where you race the other players - the little avatars are Super Mario characters... One of them's a little ghost called Boo." Maybe he'd understand it, then. "You can be Doctor Mario." The thought made her grin despite her mood.
Doc: "I tried to play video games with the Mouth.. one. she kicked my ***. That wasn't fun. Two. She made sure everyone knew she kicked my ***. That wasn't fun. Three. I didn't understand the point of the game." He paused. "I will try.. I can't promise that I will be proficient."
Phoenix: "What's the Mouth?" She blinked at him, imagining something very much unattractive. "Mario Kart is straightforward. You race to the finish line... in a little go-kart. And try to **** with your opponents as much as possible. It's actually kind of fun."
Doc: "Tameka.. She was loud and annoying.. I called her Meka the Mouth.." He cringed. "She was heinous.. don't know what happened to her.. don't really care. No all the way around.."
Phoenix: "She probably died. I hope she died." She scowled at the mention of Tameka. That ***** was a massive *****. "Can I stay... here... tonight? Sleep on the couch or something?"
Doc: He silently nodded in agreement with Phoenix in her assessment of the Mouth. "Of course you can, you can even have the bed.. I sleep on a sofa a lot.. life of a surgeon. We get comfortable anywhere.."
Phoenix: Clearly, this explained his attraction to Mortll, but she wouldn't say that aloud. She'd made a promise and intended to keep her word. "You sure you don't mind? I won't bother you..."
Doc: "No it's not a bother, I was probably going to end up on the sofa anyway." He pointed to a book he had been reading. "I read until I feel sleepy.. and I sleep.."
Phoenix: Well... that made sense. With a sigh, she uncurled herself from his side and, with great effort, managed to drag herself to her feet. She knew the hut layout well enough to figure out where the bedroom was. As she shuffled off, she glanced back over her shoulder. "Dad... Thank you."
Doc: Doc looked at her, "You're welcome.. I hope I helped." He did. Then he picked up his book and resumed reading where he left off when she had yelled into his head.
Phoenix: She nodded. "You did." And then made her way to the bed, crawled under the covers. Curling up in the dead center of the bed, she wrapped her slender frame around a pillow and tried to sleep.
Doc: "So **** him." Doc shrugged. "You talk to him when you need to because he is in the faction. Be respectful to the position he holds; not necessarily because it is him. You are respecting his position. Other than that.. **** him. You don't need his approval as a person. You don't need his emotion tirade outbursts either."
Phoenix: She sighed and looked at him, completely at a loss for a moment. He made it sound far too easy. Far too... bearable. After a long moment, she nodded. "Alright... none of that fixes the wedding..."
Doc: He inwardly cringed. The wedding. He didn't want to get pulled into that. His gut would be to tell her to cancel it. But would that be fair? really? Just because he hated Blake? "I am not the best person to talk to about weddings Boo..."
Phoenix: "I think we're going to cancel it - we're both too upset right now to want to be happy, and we both deserve better than that. For each other. I don't want to remember forcing myself to be happy for my wedding..." In a word, she sounded defeated.
Doc: He put aside that Blake was involved in this situation. "Boo. **** happens. It happens now, it will happen next week. If you want to cancel, that is your call. But if you are canceling because you can't be 'happy on your wedding' because of the **** with Micah.. you don't need to be getting married. Marriage is ******* hard. You think it will be all flowers and happy ****, you are wrong. The Wedding is the easy part. It only gets harder from then on." He sighed. "Personally I want you to cancel. Not because of Micah. But because I don’t think you are ready for the stress of marriage."
Phoenix: Listening, she nodded once or twice. She didn't necessarily agree, she just couldn't find a flaw in the reasoning. At last not an immediate one. "It's not just the **** with Micah... It's everything that's happened over the past few days. I'm not upset with Blake. He's not upset with me. We're both just... angry at everything else. I know you don't like it, but he's been good to me, dad... Even last night. He was livid when I summoned him, but he didn't leave. He didn't lash out at me. He let me be selfish and use him as a pillow without complaining."
Doc: Doc wanted to say, "I would ******* hope so.. it is the man's position to protect, not lash out. And you should not have had to summon his ***. He should have been there for you from the beginning." That was what he wanted to say. Instead he said, "Good.. " It wasn't much but it wasn't negative either.
Phoenix: "Good?" she asked, eyeing him suspiciously. Her brow furrowed as she squinted, barely noticing that she was slowly uncurling from around her cushion. She wasn't happy, per se, but she was feeling a bit better. "You told me he'd fucked over two women... Can you tell me who they were? Zoey and...? Madison? Wolffyn?"
Doc: "Boo.. we discussed it. You asked me why I felt the way I did. I told you. But I am not going to reveal the names. Not now, not ever. Why? Because it's more than you that would be affected. You just want to know. But lets say I told you.. and you innocently mention to someone, who mentions it to someone .. who tells one of the females. Maybe she would be ok with it. Or maybe it would throw her into a tailspin, like you are experiencing now. I am not taking that chance. It is not just about you.”
Phoenix: She gave him a rather stern look. "I want to know because it's relevant to you not liking my husband. I don't really talk to people about past relationships because it's tacky as ****." She clung to her cushion and waited for a name.
Doc: "I am not telling you." Then he used her words against her, "Talking about past relationships is tacky as ****." He gave her an even look.
Phoenix: By the look in her eyes, he may as well have slapped her. She flinched away, tightening her grip on the pillow and pressing her lips into a thin line. After a moment of silent grinding her teeth, she mumbled. "I don't understand why it was a strike, not a warning like everyone else gets the first time."
Doc: "Probably because you have been through this so many times before.. you should not need a warning. You should know better." He gave her a look that tried to be understanding, by really came across more as confused, as though he didn't get why she didn't get this. "When Micah starts yelling, just shut the **** up. Remember everything he says.. but don't answer. Micah likes to bait .. and you take the bait ... every single time. ******* stop taking the bait Boo."
Phoenix: "Except I haven't... Since I've been back, I've been good. I haven't been confrontational, I haven't nit picked..." she sighed, giving a shrug. "I've been trying to be pleasant and non problematic... and they treated me like I'm the same person I used to be... and I'm not."
Doc: "It takes time Boo. And .. " He knew she would not like what he was about to say.. but for her continued growth he needed too. "You have probably set yourself back. You have been doing remarkably well. You have shown great restraint, in regard to Lia. I have seen it. I know that Ari, Vel and Micah have all seen it. But you still have temper tantrums." He thought back to the night Phoenix got her full membership back. "And that is what they are.. temper tantrums, like a small child would have."
Phoenix: She gave him a long, measured look, jaw set. When she spoke, her voice was icy. "I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I haven't had a temper tantrum in ages. Certainly not over this - don't you dare call me being misunderstood aa ******* temper tantrum."
Doc: "I wasn't talking about this event Boo. And I know you aren't perfect. No one is ******* perfect. In fact most of us are ******* dysfunctional." He sighed, "To succeed in this world, we have to learn how to use our dysfunctions to our own advantage. It may not be something we can learn overnight. It will probably take a while. But we need to be in a state of constant learning. When we stop trying to learn, we are going to get passed by.. or worse.."
Phoenix: Shifting, she tucked her legs under herself and loosed her grip on the cushion, if only a bit. Even though she still felt miserable, it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been. "I... just don't understand why the strike was necessary when a warning would have sufficed. I'm never going to. And that's why this feels so shitty... It's not that it's discipline, it's that it's a second level disciplinary action when I never even got a first. When Vel knows it wasn't even meant to be contentious... that's not fair."
Doc: "Baby.. life isn't fair." he shook his head. "I would love to be able to tell you .. 'oh.. it wasn't fair.. let's go fix it. 'Vel that wasn't fair.' Vel says 'Oh dear.. so sorry, it's undone!.' " He sighed. "It doesn't work that way. You have learned a lesson. Stay the **** away from Micah. He will bait you.. for hell of it. And if you rise to the bait.. you will lose." He put an arm around her shoulders, "It's alright to feel shitty. When I feel that .. someone usually dies. It lets me get my aggression out."
Phoenix: She let herself fall against him, a soft sigh escaping her lips. "The only reason Micah's a leader is because he's ******* Vel. He doesn't deserve the responsibility. He can't handle it. He can't keep his temper in check and he doesn't have the temperament to lead... anything." There. She'd said it, and it felt damn good. It's what she'd felt since she'd joined Ty the first time around, though she'd hoped, then, that he'd grow into the position. Instead, he'd grown into more of an asshole..
Doc: "So now you see this. Now you are better armed for the future. When issues arise, go to Vel, or suck it up." He played with her hair, "Not everyone handles leadership well. I can't really speak on the matter of leading. Every time I have been given the role to lead, there was a book of standards, or procedures already in place, and it was me quoting that ****." He paused, "Being a vampire didn't come with a manual. We are all pretty much winging it. But we have to continue to learn adapt and adjust. Things wont be fair. It's life."
Phoenix: She'd kind of expected him to be upset. Instead he seemed to get it. She blinked and tucked herself in closer, exchanging the cushion for his other arm and hugging it despite the awkward angle. Of course she knew he wasn't fond of the clinging, but that didn't matter. She was upset. "No, it didn't... but neither did being a human. Neither did being a friend... he's just... cruel. I was willing to look past it because I thought he was my friend, because deep down, I thought he cared. But he doesn't... and that hurts."
Doc: "Plus men are ******* bastards." He stiffened slightly, then forced himself to relax. "Let's look at it like this.. It's not like you had drinks with him, and watch the game with him every week.. and now thats gone. Or the two of you went hunting together.. What did you two actually do together.. trade barbs." He rolled his eyes, "You are really going to miss that. I can see why you are so upset.. " His voice was dry. "Please Boo. You aren't really losing that much are you?"
Phoenix: She frowned and then shook her head slowly. "I don't think you understand... He used to care about me and it used to be obvious... Before I joined Ty, he'd adopted me into his family - Volkov at the time. I didn't have anyone else, but he was always there for me. We used to hang out a lot... I even had a massive stupid little kid crush on him at one point. We were closer than it ever showed..."
\
Doc: "I am sorry Boo. People change. I know I have changed compared to what I was at a human. I get angry quicker. I never used to. I could take the rudeness and ridicule from the coworkers, and let it slide right away. Now.. it's not so easy. I think there is more going on with the change into what I am now, than I first realized. It seems my bad qualities are more amplified, and my good ones, are fading. Something to think about."
Phoenix: "But you found me, so your lack of good qualities is amply made up for." She gave a nod and even managed a smile, weak as it was. "I worry that I disappoint you, though..."
Doc: "Look.. don't worry about that. Just be yourself. I don't want to get to know, the person who is worried all the time. I want to get to know my daughter. Alright?"
Phoenix: She gave him a look, one that said she didn't quite believe what he was saying. Perhaps because she wasn't sure where to tease apart her and the worry-wart she'd become. "I'll... try. Deal?"
Doc: Doc leaned back to look at her, his face was serious, "That is all I have ever is asked.. is for you to try. I do not want you to be any one other than who you are. Can we all improve who we are? Yes. We can, myself included. You might say we are all 'works in progress'. I do not expect results overnight. It is the little milestones that we make.. that tell the mettle of us. As long as we pushing forward.. we are growing and trying." He hoped that made sense.
Phoenix: Listening, she gave a few quick nods before settling in against his side. There was nothing for her to add - she understood, and so she remained silent, thoughts bouncing from one idea to the next without rhyme or reason. For a while, she let the silence creep on, until... "Dad... We should play Mario Kart some day..."
Doc: "What is that?" He envisioned going to a 'play zone' area, and driving a racing style go cart. That actually appealed to him. He always wanted to do that. But until he had most information, he wasn't agreeing to ****. For all he knew he would be stuck in some amusement park in a log, having his photo made with a bunch of strangers.
Phoenix: "It's a video game where you race the other players - the little avatars are Super Mario characters... One of them's a little ghost called Boo." Maybe he'd understand it, then. "You can be Doctor Mario." The thought made her grin despite her mood.
Doc: "I tried to play video games with the Mouth.. one. she kicked my ***. That wasn't fun. Two. She made sure everyone knew she kicked my ***. That wasn't fun. Three. I didn't understand the point of the game." He paused. "I will try.. I can't promise that I will be proficient."
Phoenix: "What's the Mouth?" She blinked at him, imagining something very much unattractive. "Mario Kart is straightforward. You race to the finish line... in a little go-kart. And try to **** with your opponents as much as possible. It's actually kind of fun."
Doc: "Tameka.. She was loud and annoying.. I called her Meka the Mouth.." He cringed. "She was heinous.. don't know what happened to her.. don't really care. No all the way around.."
Phoenix: "She probably died. I hope she died." She scowled at the mention of Tameka. That ***** was a massive *****. "Can I stay... here... tonight? Sleep on the couch or something?"
Doc: He silently nodded in agreement with Phoenix in her assessment of the Mouth. "Of course you can, you can even have the bed.. I sleep on a sofa a lot.. life of a surgeon. We get comfortable anywhere.."
Phoenix: Clearly, this explained his attraction to Mortll, but she wouldn't say that aloud. She'd made a promise and intended to keep her word. "You sure you don't mind? I won't bother you..."
Doc: "No it's not a bother, I was probably going to end up on the sofa anyway." He pointed to a book he had been reading. "I read until I feel sleepy.. and I sleep.."
Phoenix: Well... that made sense. With a sigh, she uncurled herself from his side and, with great effort, managed to drag herself to her feet. She knew the hut layout well enough to figure out where the bedroom was. As she shuffled off, she glanced back over her shoulder. "Dad... Thank you."
Doc: Doc looked at her, "You're welcome.. I hope I helped." He did. Then he picked up his book and resumed reading where he left off when she had yelled into his head.
Phoenix: She nodded. "You did." And then made her way to the bed, crawled under the covers. Curling up in the dead center of the bed, she wrapped her slender frame around a pillow and tried to sleep.