Path of the Vampire forum

Apparently I have impulse control issues. I'm sure I probably had it before but now my issues seem to take on a new and exciting life all of their own. I swear I used to have more control than this. More brains too. What I've gained in intelligence, I may have lost in common sense. I dunno. Maybe I'm just having an off day. I just feel like I'm on a frickin roller coaster. Ellie warned me it would be like this but damn. It would just be nice to be able to hold on to a particular emotion for a few moments before it ups and leaves on me. What hope do I have of re-establishing a normal life, if even my emotions have flake on me? I swear I'm not that bad! I'm not! Dillon doesn't seem to mind being around me, but I guess he doesn't count cos he's spelled or whatever. Think I'll go drink till I pass out. Need to make sure to get rid of Dillon first, else I'll wake up feeling worse than I do now.



((Also on this page: A young girl is chasing butterflies and trying to catch them with a net. Off her arm hangs a glass jar, but it's empty. The girl looks disappointed but she's still trying. Each of the butterflies has a different emotion written into the design on its wing.))

Okay. I rock. I admit it. I made the coolest looking mace type thing. Think I'll give it to Ellie. He deserves something nice for thinking of me everyday. I hope he likes it. It might not be his style but the the thing looks ******* lethal. I doubt he'll ever have to actually use it, as the sucker looks mean.

The band finally has a name. Electric Lies. We aren't really sure why. It was more of a why not kind of thing. Dillon seems happy with it. Like generally happy and not 'he's under my spell and therefore is agreeing with me' kinda happy. Which is kind of cool. Though I may have got my way with the sound. We're gonna do covers. Cos you kind of have to. But our own sound will be more alternative, than mainstream. It's not like I can really do the whole fame thing now anyways. Not without making myself some sort of media target. I'd rather not have to live in the public eye and keep my secret.



((Also on this page: The bands name written in several different styles; some have logos, others do not.))

I'm figuring out that I kind of hate emails/texts/etc. more than I thought. Or at least more than I used to anyways. They are so impersonal. So open to misinterpretation. Take this one phrase. "We'll see each other soon. Count on it." Is that a threat? Is that a promise? How do you decide how to read that when all you have is the words. No. I much prefer face-to-face conversations. I like being able to look people in the eye. I guess it's the same reason I like busking. I like to feel connected. I mean music isn't just mean to be heard, it's meant to be experienced. The performance is half the fun and half the message. At least I think so. I bet Ellie would agree with that.

Okay well aside from that I don't have much to report. Dillon bugs me less. That or i'm getting used to having him around all the time. Might send him away fro the weekend or something though. Give us both some downtime. I bet he'd kind of enjoy a day that doesn't involve him wandering around in dark, unsafe places.



((Also on this page: This page is devoid of any artwork.))

I'm going to Lancaster's tonight. Ellie's missus has organised some sort of auction thing. Don't fully understand it but I put my name down anyways. Made Ellie promise to buy me if there was no other interest. I know. Think positive. I'm great. I shouldn't worry about stuff like that, only none of the people I hang out with have the money to participate in this kind of thing. I could ask Dillon to buy me I guess. Give him the cash. But that seems a bit stupid. And I don't need any extra time with him.

Should probably go get ready. Not going to make too much of an effort. I'm no whore and I don't want to come across as desperate. Might pull out my best jeans though. Guess we'll see. I really should have put a little more thought into an outfit. Oh well. Too late to go shopping now.

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Good job I'm not the insecure type, else I might be disappointed by what I fetched at auction. Still. Even if I were, I'd get over it. I mean at least I didn't get sold off to some random stranger. Though my head hurts now. Drank too much. Should probably go pass out.

Oh random thought. I should get some semi-perm makeup done; eye liner, lip liner, that kinda thing. Then I don't have to get Dillon to help me with that kind of thing no more.[/size]

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Need to thank Ellie![/color][/font]



((Also on this page: A caricature of Sky standing on a stage. in her hands she holds a sign that reads. "Free to a good home. Caution: Female might bite.".))

I'm nervous. I shouldn't be. But I am. This plan has it flaws. I know that. But well... I hate not being able to hug him. It's not normal not to hug someone you consider yourself to be friendly with. I'm not really sure what he is. I mean acquaintance sounds too formal and friend seems a bit presumptive. I mean we haven't spent that much time together. I'm starting to wonder if having Ellie buy him for me was a good idea.

Side thought: God I love Ellie. What a sweetheart. I seriously hit the jackpot getting him as a sire.

But yeah. Too late to back out now. Guess I'll just put on some music till he gets here and rock out. Maybe burn off some energy. Probably need to do that if I plan on lying on/over him all night. I wonder who that will be harder on; him or me? I know he dislikes unnecessary touching but then I hate sitting still for too long. My challenge will likely end up challenging me. Fingers crossed all goes well.

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Well it went as well as can be expected. Gave up after a while. Had too. Not much choice in the matter. If you want to condition someone to get used to something. Fine. But someone? I need him to actually want to spend time with me. Having associate me with being bored is probably not the best plan in the world. But then how was I to know he wouldn't like watching movies. He seemed the sort to just veg out. Guess I was wrong in that. He does that. Surprises me. Or rather he frustrates me. I mean who the hell gets to be his age, whatever it is, and hasn't ever been on a date. I mean not one? Is that possible? How do you escape your teens without being forced on some god awful blind date? Or not get tricked into a date by someone you'd never even consider to be attractive? God I wish I could erase a few of those from my past. Oh well. If I survive tomorrow - cos god only knows what he has planned for us - I guess I'll take him on a date. A real one. I can explain what we're doing and give him some tips for the future. He can benefit from my experience.[/size][/color][/font]



((Also on this page: A man being chased by a woman with her arms open wide. She's yelling; "Stop being such a baby. It's only a hug. It won't kill you." Below this image of tombstone with several bunches of flowers laid at the foot of it. The inscription reads; Roderic. Died from too much affection.))

He said comfortable shoes. Not a problem. He mentions hunting. I maybe freak a little on the inside. I was prepared to be grossed out and possibly kill/maim one/both of us by accident. What I wasn’t prepared for was a night trekking through the woods to look at the stars. This guy is an enigma. He doesn’t seem to have a romantic bone in his body and yet he can be oddly sweet. I mean who’d think of hunting stars but him? I wouldn’t even phrase it that way. I guess it has something to do with his strong survival instincts. I’m almost certain now that he’s one of those goofy doomsday preppers. So apparently, on occasion, you can judge a book by its cover.

The night was going pretty well till he like literally lost a leg. He said something called a fae did it. Said they were like fairies? I should ask Ellie. But that’s not the point. I’ve never seen anything like it and could quite happily live without ever seeing it again. It was ******* bizarre. The weirdest part wasn’t even his reaction which was completely stoic. It was what happened after. I mean the guy was ready to fight while I pretty much stood there like a lump. But it was more than that. The thing poofed. Disappeared. And more than that… He grew a ******* replacement. I mean that was super cool and everything but still. Damn. Kinda ruined the mood if I’m honest. I hope tomorrow goes better. Still the zoo was fun. Totally turned things around. I got way more out of it than I thought I would. Right turning in now.

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After thought: Did he arrange the attack to freak me out?[/size][/color][/font]



((Also on this page: A bunch of cute looking fairies all flying in unison with a leg suspended below them. The leg is bound and the cords tie around the waists of the tiny little menaces.))

Date night! I’m honestly a little jazzed about tonight it should be fun. I’m going to dress up and show him my girly side. He’s not seen me in a dress yet. I just hope he enjoys himself. Night one didn’t go so well. Well. The planned portion anyways. The moment I dropped my scheme, things seem to go a hell of a lot better.

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Well the rules part were a disaster. He says he’ll never date. But aside from that I had fun. Did the usual thing I do on dates actually. Had a couple of drinks. Embarrassed myself. Ended up leaving the bar with a guy mum wouldn’t approve of. Ha! The fair was kind of cool. Though much like night one, I think things flowed better when I kind of gave up on my plan. All that dating talk bored him I think.
I need to buy Ellie a gift. Something great. Maybe I should make him something? I mean if he hadn’t of bought Ric for me, I don’t think I’d be where I am now with him. I think he might actually be a bit more relaxed around me now.[/size][/color][/font]



((Also on this page: A parchment listing the do’s and dont’s of first dates, according to Skylar, which cover the basics like; like your bad habits, dress up nice, no talking about exes, etc.))

I’m getting pretty good at this new skill of mine, even if I do say so myself. I still resent the ugly weapons but sometimes you have to play with what you’ve got. No point worrying about the look of them. I mean they don’t all have to look good. Right? I should ask Ellie. I bet he won’t care though. Functionality over looks. That’s what it’s all about I’m sure. Maybe I’m just the tiniest bit vain, but I do still prefer the pretty ones. And I have a fair few of those now, which is nice. Going to cap the number I keep though. Just need to decide first on just how many is too many? Once I figure that out I’m golden. I think. Might start selling some on ebay or what have you. Harper Rock seems to have its own underground version. I might earn more selling them on there. I’ll list them as re-enactment weapons or something.



((Also on this page: A picture of one of the ugliest weapons she’d made to date with a giant flaming X through it. Next to it is a picture of one of the prettier items she’d made with a nice neat tick next to it.))

Holy crap the witch wants to meet me. I’m not sure if going alone is a wise idea. Might message Ellie. See what he suggests. A nice public meeting maybe. Though **** knows how you discretely pass a ******* axe in a public forum. ****. Maybe Ellie will come with. I should ask him. At the very least I need to make sure he knows where and when. Maybe I can signal if I need help then. Send him a text with 911 or something. I could pre-type that even. Then all I have to do is hit send. God I hope Ellie is as quick as is he tall. I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere and I’d probably find it too if this idea didn’t have me at like DEFCON 1. Why couldn’t Ellie be interested in some nice, well-adjusted girl. One has to exist somewhere right? Hell. Maybe I wish he was gay. I can deal with guys so much better. There’s a reason most of my friends are male. ****. No avoiding this I guess. I’m definitely going to go talk to Elliot before I arrange anything though.



((Also on this page: A picture of a witch at a cauldron. She had a battle axe in one hand and a chicken’s head in the other, while the headless body runs off into the distance.))

Emailed Ric and told him to set aside a few hours for me today. What with it being his birthday and all. I’m not sure he’ll show though. I hope he does. I told him I had a present for him. I wasn’t lying either. I made this kick-arse blade a week or so ago. The best I’ve made so far and totally his style. I’ve given him a couple of pretty weapons in the past though, so it’s really nothing special. I just hope he can appreciate the quality of it.

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He showed. Only problem was, I couldn’t find his damn gift. I thought I took it to Ellie’s place. Oh well. I’m sure it’ll turn up and I highly doubt he thinks me a liar. The main news of this report or what have you however is that Ric rocks at bowling. He has great aim. Well, better than mine. Beat me 2 out of 3 frames. He can be hard work at times but I still think he’s kind of worth it. I don’t know anyone else like him. There’s that saying about “God breaking the mould when they made X”, well I can see that with Ric. He’s a real oddball. I love it. Trying to work him out is like trying to complete a puzzle without the box and half the pieces. Every time I see him, it’s like being given a new piece. It’s kind of fun.[/size][/color][/font]



((Also on this page: A caricature of a rather annoyed looking Roderic wearing a pink party hat. Balloons and presents can be seen on a table in the background and someone outside of the picture is singing ‘Happy Birthday’.))