25 February
I met someone that would change my life a year ago today and never did I dream that we would fall in love, that I would run into Kallista and she would turn me into a vampire a month later. I never imagined that I would be reunited with Austin or have friends so important to me that I would call them my brother and sisters. I didn’t think I’d ever have something to call a family again, in all honesty. But it happened, and I’m happy with the events that changed everything. I’m happy to have my sire, so beautiful and caring for her family, so dedicated to her music. I’m happy to have Kelly, strong and although the way he speaks confuses me sometimes, he’s a friend I never want to lose. Nakia might drive me crazy sometimes, but I know that she’d do anything I ask without hesitation. Danton, who I generally want to smack because he likes to see how fast he can confuse me, but a good brother. Opal, who I knew before I was a vampire, a friend who knew me as fragile before I disappeared, dying in front of me before Kallista turned her.
My life with Peter, though tense at times, is wonderful. He makes me smile without trying and hasn’t given me issue with my lack of memories. Keara’s fantastic, always willing to aid anyone in the family if they ask for it. Enver being Enver. None of it – or if you’re like Peter who said that it may have happened anyway – would have happened had I not been an insomniac prone to late night walks.
On some level, I’m afraid it’s going to change. I have. Today... today a hunter tried to shoot me and I ripped his head off. I wasn’t thinking until I felt the blood spray, the warmth soaking into my top as he dropped like a sack of flour. I didn’t react until I looked down to see the severed head staring up at me in my hands, the weight of it striking me as if I’d been punched. I don’t remember screaming, or if I felt sick to my stomach. I didn’t faint this time at first, waiting until I tomed back to the apartment to do that.
Austin found me curled into a corner.
He thought I was hysterical and started to call Kallista until he realized I wasn’t crying. I’d washed up, didn’t bother changing my shirt. I don’t know who I scared more when I told him that I was fine. I didn’t tell him that I liked it, and I’m ashamed that I did.
I still feel sick, thinking that I enjoyed taking the life after I’d calmed down. Maybe I’ll talk to Siren about it, see what she has to say about it all. It’d make me feel better.