I'm not who you think I am... ~Journal~

[Kira]

April 25th, 2014

Kira left the Beef Cakes behind at the lounge, Renzo would lock up once they were done getting changed from the show. She went to her music studio but just flopped down on the sofa there, listening to Simon Curtis' Diablo before turning to any new videos from the people she liked. She noticed a new video from Lindsey Stirling, she loved the woman's music, her violin and any songs she does with singers. This song was with Lzzy Hale, which she didn't remember at first. After listening to Shatter Me, she had to look into the singer. She would have to play around this that song, both vocals and violin, it was a wonderful song.

After seeing that the singer was from a group called Halestorm, and saw the song Love Bites (but so do I), she realized she did at least know that one song. As she explored more of their songs, she knew they were to be one of her favorite bands. She could really connect to the songs.

She smiled, she should do a Halestorm night. She would change the vocals some however, that would be one thing, She closed her eyes, letting the music take over.

[Kira]

May 1st, 2014

Kira was sitting on the porch railing, looking out at the land that was her's. She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the beam. She couldn't believe Reggie bought her this. She said she wanted it, that she would get it later when she had the money but here he went and gave her the keys. Did she feel happy? She wasn't sure. She felt good though. She was excited for what she could do with the land and the house. Her phone alerted her of a new text message. She looked at it, from Windy again. She sighed. Why won't he get the hint? She kept deleting the messages, not replying to any of them.

She noticed she also had an e-mail. That better not be him too, she thought. But it was someone else she didn't want to talk to, David though the title confused her. Our Apartment. She had been there like once, she always thought that was his apartment. As far as she was concerned it was still his. She had no need for it, expressly now. She typed out a quick reply and sent it.

She jumped off the railing, she needed to get some training in.

May 2nd, 2014

Kira laid there in the grass, she took in a deep breath. ******* ********. Windy had found her, hacked off her ******* leg and sliced up her stomach. She didn't get him as bad but she saw red and bit him. He might remember it was her but he still walked off in a daze. Every time she ignored him, he got pissy. She sat up and reached over for her shoe. Closing her eyes, she healed herself and put her shoe back on. It was a good thing he wasn't in the running for beating her so he could date her, she had a sinking feeling he would win, if not kill her if he tried.

She looked around, making sure Reggie wasn't running around trying to find her. She would have to come up with some other lie as to why she was in danger, which should be pretty easy to do considering all the dangerous things.

OOC: Anemoi's player will be posting something from his char's POV, he said this was fine for me to post.

May 6th, 2014

Kira wasn't sure why she even bothered to announce she returned to the Misfits board. No one said anything, but David. They had never been civil with each other, at least very rarely. She was trying to start over, a clean slate but David still had who knows what stuck up his ***. He hates her, that's fine but why couldn't they be civil, at least in the public eye.

She sighs softly as she stocks the fridge with some wine. The only way to keep the nightmares away so she could sleep. She needed to go get some training in as Reggie was itching to fight her again. She hoped he kept missing her heart. She reached a hand up to her chest, she did not want to see the day that her heart was taken out again. All the emotions she didn't feel properly before would rush over her like a tidal wave, she knew she would spend the first day crying, she would feel so weak.

She shut the fridge. Though, maybe that's what she needed to truly move on, all that pain that was still there. Maybe she could find the feelings for Reggie that he's been wanting but in the end, she was still scared that he was just another male out to destroy her completely. After all, what could anyone see in her.

[Kira]

May 7th, 2014

Halestorm night. She didn't need anyone to help her with a rocker look, most of her clothes could pass as that as it was. She put red through sections of her hair. She had spent a lot of time redoing the songs, she would do some of the guitar herself. Her voice wasn't as harsh as the lead singer's was at times during some of the songs. She didn't expect much of a crowd with it being a weekday and all but at least she was having fun.

Song Lineup

Daughters of Darkness
Love/Hate Heartbreak
You Call me a b*tch like its a bad thing
Nothing to do with love
Mz. Hyde
It's not you

For the last song, Kira picked up her violin. While it wasn't exactly Halestorm, it was the finishing number she picked.

Shatter Me

Kira left the stage, next week she would be doing all songs that were her own, at least that was the plan if she got them finished in time. She put her things away, the rest of the night at the lounge was open for karaoke. She left the place in the hands of her workers and headed out into the night, heading to her studio to get started on the songs.

[Kira]

May 8th, 2014

Kira fell unconscious due to blood-loss. She was plunged into her Inner World. She laid there in the grass, just as her body laid in the grass of the waking world but here she stared up at the 'sky'. She lost the battle. She could faintly hear voices, Reggie and Dave. She was sort of aware of being picked up by Dave, she knew it was him because of his smell and if Reggie was carrying her, he only had one leg at the moment, there was no hopping.

"How could you lose to him?" Warrior hissed.

Kira sighed, getting up from the ground and to her feet. Here we go again. "Not like I let him win. I had all interest in winning as normal." she replied simply. Now she had no excuse to keep turning him down for another date, he had passed her test. At least with the missing leg, he would not be wanting to go out any time soon. There was still a lot of work to be done on the farm, she could use that as an excuse for a time.

Warrior did not make herself seen, staying back in the fog. "You have gotten weak then.."

"It was just bad luck." Kira snapped, "Stay out of this. This is my life, not yours!"

"How am I to stay out of it when you are ruining it.." Warrior replied.

Kira heard the sound of the arrow in time to duck and roll out of the way. On her feet again, she ran into the fog where the arrow came from. This caught Warrior by surprise as Kira grabbed the bow, flipped behind her and wrapped the bow string around her neck. "**** off *****!" she growled, pulling back on the string. She grinned, hearing the choking sound of her other self but then there was a clap of thunder and a flash of lightening and she was thrown from her Inner World.

She didn't dream anything else after that.

[Kira]

July 20th, 2014

Kira needed some time alone, her thoughts and feelings were all confused. Yeah, she had emotions right now but they were fading, dulling. If only she could access them when she wanted, push them away when she didn't want them. She did believe that emotions were awful, some of them anyway. She always felt anger and hate so strongly. She wanted to be able to feel happy.

She relaxed at the temple, setting aside the file she had on the seat. She was of course warming up to Reggie more, hugging him three times now. Only one she started though, and that was only a dream. Well, yes and no. She had pulled him into her dream, her inner world, she really didn't count it as dream. She still wondered how she managed to do that. Another change? Did she have to worry about pulling people into her dreams now?

She sighed softly but smirked. She loved the fact that Warrior sulked off after Reggie said he even loved her because she was apart of Kira. That was priceless.

She grabbed the file and left the temple. Her thoughts turned dark as she thought about how she was killed for no reason. If she was going to fight back and get stronger, she needed to embrace her darker side and get back to enjoying fighting. She looked through the file, she had Dru hack to find this information. Another bad man, getting away with bad things. He should have been put away for good but no he was out and free.

Kira stayed across the street, watching and waiting for the man to leave the warehouse. She saw him leave, heading towards some of the shops nearby. She walked after him, she made an effort to make sure her heels clicked on the pavement instead of just floating above it. She wanted him to hear her.

He turned, slowed down, turned back but wasn't walking as fast as he had been. She caught up easily, she wasn't sure what his plan was but she grabbed his arm and teleported him out in the woods.

"What the ****!" he said, pulling away from her, his eyes wide.

Kira dropped the file on the ground, she wondered what that fear he's feeling now felt like. She tilted her head at him, "Old fashion justice..?" she said. She slowly walked over at him, smirking, slipping out a dagger. He glared at her, pulling out his gun and took aim at her. She blurred, stabbing his hand, making him drop his gun. "Now, now...guns are no fun." she said, pushing him back. She drove her blade into his spine, he fell to the ground. He tried to crawl away from her.

She kicked him over, kneeling down. "Is this the fear the people you killed felt?" she mused, running her blade across his neck.

"I was found innocent!"

"No, they fucked up and you couldn't be charged with the crimes." Kira growled, "Big difference. You would have been found guilty.." she said, pushing her dagger into his shoulder. He reached him, grabbing a hold of her, she pushed his arms back down. "I should really study some medical books.." she mused, stabbing at different parts of his shoulder until he could no longer move his arm. Once his other arm was useless as well, she cut open his throat so he would bleed to death.

While he was dying, Kira set up the fire, along with the file, she set him fire. Sitting down, watching the fire until it died out before returning home.

[Kira]

Kira rolled the pen back and forth on the desk, staring at the notebook of lyrics. She needed time to herself so she went to her music studio, she spent so much time with Reggie it felt like they were starting to be joint at the hip. Well, not completely true. Lately he would hunt while she looked for parts for traps, that seemed like the only time they were apart lately as the later off of the night was spent doing something together. Riding the horses, dancing. Then there was him being pulled into her dreams, something she wished she knew how to control. It was okay at times, she seemed to open up more there then in the waking world.

She finished the lyric line and took the notebook over to to the piano, setting the paper in front of her, she started working on the main part of the song, but her mind kept wondering off. She was recording this though so even if she wasn't paying attention she could listen to it and replay it by ear. She thought she had more time to delay becoming close to a man but he had beaten her in the fight, her requirement so she kept her word and allowed them to date. It wasn't bad though, maybe there would have been no way to prevent it as much time as they spent together anyway.

It took him awhile but he had beat her again, the reward was their first kiss. He didn't push it right away, when she returned from the shadow realm that one time he announced he was going to kiss her. It only made her panic and hide her face. That happened every time he announced he wanted to kiss her. It wasn't until he beat her again that they later they shared a first kiss. She wondered if she had met him first before everything else that had happened to her if she would have been different. The reward for that fight however was to sleep on her floor. He was so weird with that. Perfectly good bed and he seemed to always be sleeping on the floor.

She had grown and changed, no longer did she break down crying when her heart was taken out as all the emotions she should have felt came rushing in, all at once. She hadn't been going through things that would upset her deep down. Does that mean she was happy? She wasn't sure what it was supposed to feel like so she had no idea. The same with love. She wasn't sure if she could ever understand or feel that emotion but she did care about him.

She stopped playing and listened to the recording as she then started to play the violin, adding on to the music there. She closed her yes, only focusing on the music from the violin now, she liked it much more than the piano.

[Kira]

Kira sat at the table, sipping wine and nibbling on some dark chocolate. She jumped when she saw her wraith.

Marcus tilted his head, he hadn't even made himself known.

"I can see wraiths and spirits now.." Kira said softly. It would take some getting used to but she did it so the next time those annoying wraiths of the owl turds showed up during some other conflict she could just get rid of them.

"Ah, so, what's with the new animals?" Marcus said, floating over to the table and made it look like he was sitting there.

"The new dog is Reggie's." Kira replied, she raised an eyebrow as Sof brought the kitten over like a mother cat wound and dropped it off on Kira's lap. Sof meowed and trotted off. Seems Sof needed a break. "And this little one is mine." she said, picking Artio up and let the kitten curl up under her neck. "I killed a man for her."

"I'm assuming there's more to that story?" Marcus asked.

Kira nodded, listening to the kitten purr. "The previous owner of Blue, Reggie's dog. It was clear he wasn't the best owner. I got information on him and went to teach the man a lesson only to find he had another animal, Artio here. Again, the man was not being the nicest owner...so I killed him." she said, then again she may have killed him before but the hate she felt after seeing him toss the kitten to the ground sealed his fate.

"Anyway, wanted to ask you about something." Kira said, changing the subject.

"Really? What's that?" Marcus said, seeming amused. What could this be about.

"I think I did something weird.." Kira said, "The other night, I had to pull Reggie off of someone. The man doesn't keep himself fed the way he should. I know there was more to it than just being hungry. Gets rather jealous over things, just because he thinks some guy is thinking about getting into my pants, which might be true but I can take care of myself.." she said, "But anyway, I'll try to retell everything that happened."

She took in a breath, "I was trying to get him to understand that he doesn't need to get so upset over such things. I patted his cheek, he still had blood on his face so I took it off with my finger and blood shouldn't go to waste so I licked it off. He said everything I did was cruel but he doesn't mind the torture, just don't do what I did to anyone else as they may try to force themselves on me." she said, "I'm still confused over it."

Marcus was laughing, "You're either stupid or very naive. Its hard to believe that you would be that innocent." he said.

Kira glared at him, growling which made Artio meow in concern. "If you're not going to be helpful get the hell out." she said.

"Sorry, sorry. It should be very clear what happened there. He gave you a hit. Force themselves on you. What you did was rather sexual, expressly with a vampire, blood. Yeah, that would sure get my motor running. Well when I had a body anyway." Marcus said.

Kira stared at him, "I need a list of do's and don't's." she muttered, "I didn't mean...to torture him. I told him that even though I didn't understand exactly what I did."

"He sure has some will power and a lot of patience." Marcus said with a chuckle.

"Yeah I do know that." Kira muttered, she drank the rest of her wine. The kitten nibbled on her chin, she got up to get her some soft food.

[Kira]

Kira ran her fingers over the keys of the piano, closing her eyes, focusing on the sounds. Her eyes snapped open when there was several keys from the deeper section sounding off. She raised an eyebrow at Artio who meowed at her and walked over to her, across the keys. "Glad I wasn't recording that." she said, picked the kitten up and put her on her lap. She leaned down and Artio touched her wet nose to Kira's nose. "Yes, you are cute." she muttered, petting the kitten and started to play again, Artio just watched her hands from her lap. Sof was perched on top of the piano, her tail swishing lazily.

"So any more advice you need on the male species?" Marcus said in her eye.

"Holy ****.." Kira growled, by the goddess she wished she could stab him. "The cats are at least cute when they break my music.."

"Well Ms. Clueless, figured you might need more help." Marcus replied.

Kira let out a slow sigh, pulling the cover over the keys. "Massages. Is it just a ploy to touch someone?" she asked.

"Massages? Reggie wants to give you a massage?" Marcus mused, "Finding a guy who is willing to do that is sorta rare. Sure he gets to touch you but...hmm, then again some will do massages up until marriage then it really lacks. You should get a contract that says he can't stop, no matter how much time goes by.."

Kira blinked, she wasn't going to tell him anything more on that. Reggie had given her a foot massage one time, she still had problems with being touched so a massage was one of those things that was on her list of things not ready for. When she was teaching him about properties of stones, crystals, incenses and oils, he got it in his head that he wanted to give her a massage with oils.

She turned around on the piano bench, holding Artio. "I really wish people would stop saying marriage." she said. She wasn't anywhere ready for that. Then again Reggie didn't care how much time she needed, even if they did get married, she could take her time.

"I really think I need to stop talking to you about this stuff. Tessa wouldn't be any help either." Kira muttered, she put Artio down, grabbed her violin, "Just leave me to my music." she said, she didn't want to think, she just wanted to be one with the music right now.

[Kira]

Kira put the little witch hat on Artio's head, and a little dress. The kitten flopped over, pulling the hat off her head. "Hmm.." she mused. "Have no real idea if I'm even doing anything for Halloween." she said. She wasn't sure if there really was going to be a Halloween thing to go to and by the goddess she was tired of getting people from DTM to come to things. They needed new members who might be more active. Halloween itself would be spent with Reggie no doubt, her first birthday with him. She would want to do a ritual on that day.

Sof was watching, with a smug look of better who than me. Kira grabbed the older feline, pulling a devil outfit over her head. "I didn't forget about you."

Sof now looked at her like she was going to kill her in her sleep. Kira took out her phone to take a photo of the pair. She then got distracted, remembering the ringtone she decided to give Reggie. She changed it then looked to Sof who had flopped over as well. Why did cats always fall over when something gets put on them? She shrugged and freed the cats of the clothes. They promptly ran off into another room.

Kira smirked, looking at the photos. Then she got an alert that her businesses were hacked. She was surprised that she got a name out of it. "Well, no surprise Queen ***** is at it again." she said with a roll of her eyes. There wasn't anything to be done with they want to be petty and keep harassing people they don't like.

She went about her night. Figuring out if she wanted to put Halloween stuff, she could get distracted with that stuff rather easy.

Later she got another alert of hacking. Kira called her wraith to her to go check out the house it came from. She grinned when he came back and told her that it must be a mini nest of the owl turds. "Can't believe they are so stupid." Kira said, she made a note of the building. She was sure it would come in handy some day.

"Please tell me that isn't a real skeleton?" Marcus asked, eyeing one that was hanging up.

"I wouldn't go through the trouble of getting someone's bones...besides the dogs would be a problem. It's plastic." Kira said, as she hanged up some bats that moved on the porch. Sof was eyeing it intently.

[Kira]

Kira didn't go trap part collecting like she said she was going to. She was seriously wondering why Reggie wanted to talk to Tessa of all people or wanting to talk to Lexy. Maybe it had to do with her birthday, it was all she could think of. Most of her thoughts ended up drifting off to what happened the night before. How could a simple hand to hand training end up with a make out session against a tree. Suppose it didn't help that fighting excited her, and well, he's male. They really didn't land any good hits on each other, just ended up cutting off clothes. Not only did she came to her senses and knew they both needed to cool off but a cop came by and wasn't too keen on barely dressed people making out in the park. If she was a normal person, she should feel embarrassed about that but she didn't. She really was torturing him without meaning to. He didn't let her go at all just to make sure he didn't try to do anything she didn't want. Some kind of need that holding her helped?

Then suddenly he wanted to talk to people in private. It was a little weird, but it would make sense that it would be about her birthday. It would be her first birthday with him, she was already trying to figure out gifts for Christmas.

She sat down at her desk in the studio, laying her head down. After a moment she heard a giggle. She looked up to see Tessa. "What were you and Reggie talking about? she asked. She suppose she could only be in a few places, she was easy to find.

"It was a private chat." Tessa replied and floated around her. "It is over now but I got a question. You going to that Halloween party? You so need to see Rocky Horror at some point in your long life. Or you got something planned on Halloween with the Beef Cakes."

Kira raised an eyebrow. "No, I'm not going to that party. And I know I need to see that movie but, just not there." she said, she wasn't sure about going and she decided not to go. "Halloween? No, the Beef Cakes have the show all down. I don't need to be there and they know that its my birthday, and not to say a day I want to do a ritual on. And yeah, they figured I'd be wanting to spend time with my boyfriend." she said. "Seems so weird calling him that." she said, putting her head back down. Still something to get use to. "Anyway, is it safe for me to return home? Sure the pets are not happy with not getting any attention.."

Tessa smirked, "Yes, you are free to return home.." she said.

Kira shook her head and headed home, whatever Tessa and Reggie talked about was going to drive her crazy until she found out. She opened the door to the farmhouse and gave the animals the attention they lacked the night before.