I don’t even know where to start. I can’t even believe I’m about to write this so… I’m gonna start off small, with the mundane stuff. I sent Dillon to go get some bits from Charlie. She said she had some stuff for me and he had the time. Besides. I think he has a bit of a crush on her. It would be sweet if she wasn’t so far out of his league it’s unfunny. Moving on. Ric and I discussed the bed I chose, which lead into a conversation about trust. There are lots of ways to show someone you trust them and I tried to explain that by making yourself vulnerable to someone is one of those ways. I mean yeah. You have to trust someone to fully let your guard down around another person. In some aspects anyway. Which lead me into those three little words. I knew I was falling for him. I think I may have kinda known I’d actually fallen a while ago but still, I wasn’t planning on vocalising this. Yes I recently caught myself signing my emails differently but neither of us mentioned that and I didn’t actually write “I love you”. So **** knows why those words came out of my mouth. I mean yeah they’re true but neither him nor me were ready for me to drop that bombshell. And yeah. I think it freaked him out. He left. And yes, he still does that; not as frequently though. So yeah I emailed him and basically told him to get over it. I mean he’s not the boss of me and he can’t control what I think or how I feel. It’s not like I’m stupid enough to expect him to say it back or anything. Even if it were true, I’m not sure he’d say it. I must be crazy. I mean yeah… I love him. I love him?! WTF! I’m fucked.
((Also on this page: a very typical girly heart with both of their initials in, only the heart is green instead of red.))
♪ Am I strong enough? ♪
♪ I wish you well, but desire never leaves ♪ ♫ Available Melee Weapons ♫
NOTE: Sky has Healthy Complexion
I don’t know why we keep talking about marriage. I don’t want to get to married. I’ve never wanted to get married and I never bring the subject up. So WTF!? I don’t know why he feels the need to tell me every few weeks that we aren’t getting married. It’s stupid. I’m not your typical girl that has her head filled with thoughts of a Disney style wedding. In fact I don’t think there’s a chance in hell anyone could even get me in a wedding dress to try it on, let alone get me to walk down an aisle in one. Wow. That sent a shiver down my spine. So we’re never getting married. Good. Great. We’re on the same page. If Dillon’s right I’ll mess this up soon anyways, and there’s no chance o us getting married if we aren’t together.
((Also on this page: a bridezilla standing in the middle of her wedding nightmares. Around her the cake is falling, there’s a question mark where the groom should be, the bridesmaids are thinner and prettier than she is and her dress is ruined.))
♪ Am I strong enough? ♪
♪ I wish you well, but desire never leaves ♪ ♫ Available Melee Weapons ♫
NOTE: Sky has Healthy Complexion
So, this time I started the conversation about marriage. I asked him why he’s so anti-marriage. I may have asked him before, cos his answer sounded familiar but maybe I just agree with him. I dunno. He says the numbers don’t stack. So okay. Maybe I don’t agree with him. Not doing something because the odd suck is stupid reasoning. And the odds aren’t even that bad. From what he said it’s pretty much 50-50 as to whether or not a marriage lasts. I don’t much mind those odds. Not that I want to get married. Or have ever thought about getting married. I don’t ever see me letting a guy put a ring on my finger. Still. I argued the point of marriage is to show commitment because Ric called it medieval. And yeah he’s right. I mean in some ways he is. It’s an archaic practice that basically enslaves women… legally. But hey. Each to their own. It works for some people. Only he got me thinking, why make a show of commitment at all? Marriage isn’t the only way of showing your commitment to someone, there has to be other, better, ways. Not that I liked his way. He suggested dating is a commitment. And okay. Yes, technically maybe it is but it’s not. Not really? Is it? He reckons it is because we only date each other and I see the logic in that I do but wow. If he’s right, then I’m gonna invent a time machine, go back a few months and totally take his stance on dating. As in, I don’t date. Because commitment might be a step too far. ****. What a scary thought. I’m committed to Ric? Am I insane? Is he insane? What the **** happened to me when I died? I don’t know how, but I’m going to find a way to make this all Elliot’s fault.
((Also on this page: A woman is standing behind a set of iron bars, only the bars aren’t vertical lines as you might expect, they are crafted to form the word commitment.))
♪ Am I strong enough? ♪
♪ I wish you well, but desire never leaves ♪ ♫ Available Melee Weapons ♫
NOTE: Sky has Healthy Complexion
Do not ask me how it happened but… I now work for Ric. It just makes sense. I mean… He’s not a people person. He needs someone like me around to deal with the customers, get him discounts on raw materials and stuff, I can even do some custom work for him if he’s using metals. I’m not without artistic talent, though I’m not sure Ric’s noticed that. He only seems to remember that I make blades. He’s given me the title manager - or maybe I gave that to myself - but I think goffer suits me better, you know… go for this, go for that. Basically, I’m his ***** and do whatever he needs me to do.
((Also on this page: A saint bernard is sat next to a man who can only be seen from the waist down. The tag on the dogs collar reads ‘Skylar.’))
♪ Am I strong enough? ♪
♪ I wish you well, but desire never leaves ♪ ♫ Available Melee Weapons ♫
NOTE: Sky has Healthy Complexion
It’s not a big deal. Maybe if I say that often enough I’ll actually start to believe it. I kinda think it is but I can’t tell Ricky that. I’ve never done the whole Valentine’s before. In fact I may have even gone so far as to break up with a couple of guys earlier than normal to avoid it. Strange then really that I’m excited for this one. Ric and I are staying in Pi’s cabin. Maybe I’ve written about this already. Anyways, yesterday I asked Ric if he was ready. He told me he wasn’t backing out. I kinda knew he wouldn’t but I think I had to check. He can get a bit funny around anything dating related and while we technically classified the weekend as a hunting trip and ‘no big deal,’ I think we both know it’s more than that. God I hope this weekend goes well. I’ve never been away with a guy before, even if we are only heading to the outskirts of the city.
((Also on this page: Some receipts have been stapled to the page; receipts for things like camping chairs, air bed, sleeping bag, etc.))
♪ Am I strong enough? ♪
♪ I wish you well, but desire never leaves ♪ ♫ Available Melee Weapons ♫
NOTE: Sky has Healthy Complexion
He was right. Man it pains me to write that. ********. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, because as it turns out, it really wasn’t a big deal. So the first night here, I ******* turned into a deer and Ric almost shanked me. Yesterday we didn’t do much of anything cos I was healing and stuff, but he showed me the basics. Today… Well today the fuckwit skips out on me. I’m not sure what was so important or why he didn’t think to tell people “I’m sorry, I’m away with my girl, hit me up tomorrow.” (Only more Ric-ishly). I’m super pissed at him. So I’m writing this and heading straight out. Where I hear you ask. Where else? I’m off to Dillon’s to get off my face. Men! Seriously. If I didn’t kinda need to **** ‘em, I’d go gay. **** Valentine's. I should have stuck with what I know.
((Also on this page: A very quick sketch of a guy. Numbers can be found on various different body parts and in the foreground is a hand holding a dart.))
♪ Am I strong enough? ♪
♪ I wish you well, but desire never leaves ♪ ♫ Available Melee Weapons ♫
NOTE: Sky has Healthy Complexion
Urgh. This diary is getting more angsty by the ******* day. So Ric and I talked and sorted stuff out. Basically. I’m a prat. I should have told him that the weekend was important to me. If I’d of done that he’d of switched off his phone and wouldn’t have skipped out on me. I’d say it’s miscommunication, but he told me not to make a big deal out it, so I didn’t want to tell him that it really kinda was. Oh and apparently you can’t miss someone if they email you. Personally I think that’s a load of bull. I love the way he thinks at times, but he’s an arse.
I’m glad we got things sorted though, cos his thing came in and went a bit mental. Though I’m beginning to think that, that’s just the way she is. She demanded information about something. I have no idea what was said after that cos I went into the other room. I’m not dealing with that kind of attention seeking behaviour. Ric must have felt the same way because next thing I know I’m standing in some tattoo parlour. Odd choice of venue for a guy that claims he doesn’t believe in distinguishing marks. I’m not gonna lie, for a second there I thought he was gonna brand me or something. You know, have me marked with something like; ‘Property of Ric Hawthorne.’ Yeah right. **** that. That ain’t happening, not unless I’m practically paralytic; then… well then **** only knows.
((Also on this page: A picture of a woman, only all you can see is the back of her shoulders, neck and head. The woman has a barcode similar to Charlie’s one only with Property of a complete arsehole, written around it; two words above, three words below.))
♪ Am I strong enough? ♪
♪ I wish you well, but desire never leaves ♪ ♫ Available Melee Weapons ♫
NOTE: Sky has Healthy Complexion
So I finally asked him what was up with his thing the other day. Apparently she’s pissed or something cos he sired someone else. That makes a crazy sort of sense to me. I mean she’s not my biggest fan and I’ve never done anything to her. Well not till she dismissed me as a non-entity. But now that kind of makes sense. I mean it might do. She might be jealous. And if she is, that means she fancies Ric. Which, well yeah, you can’t blame the girl for that, he’s fine. Well my kind of fine. But let’s leave that there and focus on the important part. Apparently Ric sired this new girl the night he skipped out on me, after I “ditched him for Dillon.” (And he says he’s not jealous). Anyways, he said he was “teaching her a lesson about souls” or something like that. I thought he’d of given up on that subject by now. Oh and when I first asked he told me his fangs slipped. Funny guy. That might be believable if I didn’t know what he prefers to eat. Honestly, I have no idea what’s up with the Hawthorne’s and churches. I must have gotten him real riled up with my comment about touching his soul all those months ago, cos it shouldn’t still be playing on his mind. Oh and get this. He accused me of being jealous cos I was asking so many questions. I mean hello, I’m me and I’m awesome. What do I have to jealous of? I kinda, maybe, sorta played along with the jealousy thing though. Not really sure why? To see how he reacted maybe. I dunno. He basically said not only wouldn’t he go there with another woman if we were together, but that he wouldn’t even if we weren’t. I’m not sure I believe that last part but I think he believes it. Actually you know what. I kinda wanna meet this new thing of his. I hope she’s got better manners.
Oh side note; Ric gave me a pay rise and then pretended he didn’t know anything about it. Still it’s nice to feel he appreciates what I do for him. Truth is, I’d do it free. I’m such a sucker.
((Also on this page: A sketch of Ric dressed as a monk and sitting in the prayer position.))
♪ Am I strong enough? ♪
♪ I wish you well, but desire never leaves ♪ ♫ Available Melee Weapons ♫
NOTE: Sky has Healthy Complexion
So, this question’s been bugging me for a while. Does all blood taste the same or is it just like chicken. You know. Chicken is just chicken. I’ve only fed from two people and I’m not really sure if I tasted a difference between them or not. I’d say Dillon tastes more bitter but that could all be in my mind. It’s not like I can go around testing people to see. So I asked someone else. They said what someone eats might make people taste different. Oh and path might make a difference. I kinda wanna do a blind taste testing thing. Have someone give me five shots of blood and see if I can pick Dillon’s out or something.
((Also on this page: A chicken is pecking at an open skull. Another chicken watches on and asks; “What does it taste like?” The reply; “You don’t want to know.”))
♪ Am I strong enough? ♪
♪ I wish you well, but desire never leaves ♪ ♫ Available Melee Weapons ♫
NOTE: Sky has Healthy Complexion
The new bed came today. Took a bit of work but I think it was worth it. I love it. I’ve never actually picked out a bed and mattress before. I wasn’t sure it would work out but it seems you can’t mess up that kinda thing. Or maybe you can and I just got lucky. It was easier picking a mattress than I thought too, I mean Ric wanted it to feel like his single, and it does, so I guess he kind of participated too, in his own way. Now I have the bed, the real challenge can begin; getting Ric to sleep in it with me. I don’t much like my chances. Good thing I’m persistent.
((Also on this page: A list of reasons Sky can use to try and get Ric to sleep in the bed with her. The reasons are ranked from best to worst. The first reason being because she wants him to and that people in relationships do things they don’t like/want to do for their partners. The last reason being that deep down he wants to.))
♪ Am I strong enough? ♪
♪ I wish you well, but desire never leaves ♪ ♫ Available Melee Weapons ♫
NOTE: Sky has Healthy Complexion
