Excerpts

[Kainai dArtois]

Like William Kelly, it seems Allistair Spaulding will never return from the shadow realm. It would be prudent for me to simply stay away from men and their fragile spirits, before my own spirit is extinguished from grief. I do not know whether it is the regularity of these occurrences which has hardened my heart or the fact that I am a vampire. I retain the hope that vampires can display kindness and compassion, even though I have also seen them act like children and do terrible things to one another. In our desire to protect the masquerade we slaughter one another, we are like a pit of starving wolves feeding on the weak. There are never more than two hundred of us here at a time, I sense that many fledgelings do not have what it takes to endure the change, and their sires rarely have the ability to help them thrive.

If Habren and Pi had not come along, I would likely have joined their ranks and vanished into obscurity. So many of my friends and family have sunk into torpor or dispersed to the shadow realm. I endure, but am unable to feel much pride in myself. There is too much to be accomplished for me to die of a broken heart. I am no Ophelia, to drown myself in despair after being wronged. I acknowledge that it is my fault this has happened. I chose poorly, and am suffering for it, as I deserve. Allistair, I shall keep memories of you forever close to my heart. You were my shield from the elements, your smile warms my heart even now. Now it is time for me to work.

The business has been thriving. I see it flourish like a growing child, growing every day while I sleep, there to greet me each evening when I awaken. The citizens of Harper Rock enjoy our fund raisers. The only issue it has is one of morale. The staff do good work and take home good pay. They deserve to be happy for what they are accomplishing. If I had any happiness left, I would gift it to them. But we are far removed from one another, and our work is never done. It is difficult to feel like one is making a difference from the way statistics are. But if our efforts can help just one Native youth better herself, my staff is responsible and should be proud. I am proud of them.