Forever No More (Lancaster)

[CharlotteC]

The laugh wasn't expected, but she didn't mind it. In fact, it had been some time since she had heard it and it made her feel more at home. Her eyes closed at the sound and she relaxed just that much more before her chocolate eyes opened, resting on Elliot as he spoke. She was glad that she didn't have to worry about him with the soldiers or the beasts, but then, he had always been stronger than her, he had looked out for her.

Charlie still worried about her own parents though, and knew they were worried about her as well. He spoke about a duplicate and the first thing that came to her mind was what she called her clone club. Duplicates of herself, but when he mentioned that this one attacked, she blinked. Almost unbelieving for a moment, that is until she remembered that she was a vampire in a city of vampires, sitting across from a man once vampire but now as mortal as she had once been. With the soft beat of a steady heart.

This 'shade' as he called it, this was the vampire he had once been. But yet, not. Even as a vampire, Elliot had been a kind soul. How could a kind soul as he was as a vampire become so dark now that he was no longer the vessel of vampirism. She didn't know. But she took his warning to heart. Granted, she wouldn't know until it was too late, but she would not blame Elliot. He had wanted to be human again so bad. She would split her soul to give him that if it had come to such.

He was looking out for her still, even as a human. He spoke of seeing a sorcerer, of course, her first thought went to dungeons and dragons, then to fantasia and Mickey Mouse, but then shook her head of such silly things. He had tricks up his sleeves, he wasn't as weak as so many others. Though, she was going to have Rhett and Wilber watch over Lancaster's and Elliot. Not intrusively so, but from a distance. The boys loved pool anyways.

Charlie had, for a moment been able to forget about her hunger, even though she was listening to the soft beat of his heart as if it were one of his songs. Soft, melodic, calming in its calm rhythm. Then Elliot asked of the last time that she had last fed and it came back to her. She wasn't the kind of vampire that with the reminder of her hunger she would pounce on the nearest heartbeat and feed, she had far too much control for that. That said, she was hungry. She looked st him and smiled softly, "You could stab me right now and I'd still forgive you, so don't worry about me meeting your mister Hyde. As for the last time I fed..."

She stopped for a moment so that she could remember what day it was before going on. "It's been about four days now." Charlie felt her fangs for a moment but then shook the thought from her head. "I haven't been home in a few days I guess." She said with a soft laugh.

[Lancaster]

If asked, there’d have been no way that Lancaster could have lied; if she’d asked him how a man such as he could have produced a shade so violent and full of rage, he’d have answered. He’d have told Charlotte that the rage had always been inside of him, that the violence always came naturally to him if he was put under pressure. If his buttons were pushed and he lashed out, it was often to the deep regret of whoever had dared push his buttons to begin with. Lancaster had been a strong vampire. Not the strongest, by any means, but stronger than most. If any were to feel the full brunt of his rage, then they’d be hurting. Or they’d be dead.

If asked, he’d have to admit he was not an angel. He’d have to admit that he was a killer. He had killed. He was a murderer. He shouldn’t be given freedom or happiness. He should be locked up and on death row.

But he wasn’t asked, and for that he was glad. He was glad that the topic had changed; he was glad that he could now look at Charlotte with that same look he might always have given her. The look of a sire who disapproved of a childe’s actions – though it wasn’t disappointment, by any means. It wasn’t as heavy as that. He cleared his throat. It was story time.

”I once had a relic, you know. It was a blood buffing armlet. I used to wear it all the time under my clothes. It meant I didn’t have to drink… anything,” he said, again shy of suggesting he’d ever had to drink blood. He’d hated it so much. ”And if I was ever injured, if I lost more than I should have, Pi would help me. When I… I gave up, when I came back from Australia I meant to go to sleep for a while. People used to talk about it, going to sleep. I thought I’d try. I’d put myself in a coma and maybe I’d wake up a hundred years from now, and everything would have changed, and I wouldn’t hurt so much,” he said. Brutal honesty was always the flavour of the day.

”Before I got on the plane I took the relic off. Because I could only travel at night, it took about a week to get back, take a little. I went home, I left everything behind. Wallet, phone. I didn’t need anything. I left the relic behind, too. I went down into the sewers – it’s where I intended to sleep – and I was attacked by a wild vampire. I drank from vampires, yeah?” he clarified, in case Charlotte had never known that, or in case she didn’t remember. ”The point I’m getting at, is that I couldn’t stop myself. I was so mad with the need for blood. I tore out his neck. I turned savage,” he said. He didn’t say for how long, or the eventual result.

”You need to feed, Charlotte. You can’t let yourself go. You might have control now but leave it another few days and if something happens, if you’re in a situation where there’d blood and you’re starving – do you think you could stop yourself?” he asked. Maybe she could. Who was he to tell? But he worried, nonetheless. It wasn’t a fun state to be in.

[CharlotteC]

Charlie remembered a lot about Elliot, the relic though? That she didn't remember. Of course, he told her he wore it under his shirt so that would explain why she didn't see or remember it. She had to admit that a relic like that would be something she would use. It wasn't that she had a distaste to feeding, she had no problem feeding from Rhett or Wilber, both were willing donors. She also had no problem feeding from packaged blood, the only problem was that as of late, she hadn't been spending time at home. She had been in the chemical plant getting things for her guns. Granted, she knew when a new day came, she still would fall into a deep sleep the moment the sun rose. She just, didn't feel hungry. Most nights.

This night just happened to be a night that she felt the first of the hunger pangs. Perhaps it didn't help that her mentor suddenly had a heartbeat and the sound, with his face, his presence, it was distracting. She continued to listen to his story and she realized that there was a few big differences between her and him. He had not enjoyed being a vampire, she did. She felt almost like she was born to be a vampire. He didn't. When he questioned as to if she knew of his taste for vampire blood, she shook her head, she never remembered seeing him feed in general, let along on a vampire. Though, she was shocked to hear about him attacking a vampire, ripping his throat out.

She understood that he was trying to get across to her the importance of being fed, though another difference she could see between them was that she had always had a fairly good handle on her control when it came to blood lust, but then again, her control on her emotions sometimes. That was hit and miss. His question pulled at her curse of being unable to lie. "Do I think I could control myself? Yes. Do I know that it is a fact that I could? No. I haven't yet been to that point where the scent of blood has driven me to frenzy. So I don't know it as fact. I think I could, I've always had some resilient self-control over my blood lust." She said as she looked into his eyes, letting him see the determination in her own milk chocolate eyes.

[Lancaster]

It was strange to have a heartbeat again. Every now and again it still caught him off guard, this creature fluttering in his chest. There was a fragility to it, now, though his blood was filled with power he had not yet explored the limits of. He was still growing into skin that was both old and new. Refreshed.

And he felt his heart now as it picked up its pace, reacting to some thought in the back of his mind that Lancaster hadn’t yet fully embraced. What would it feel like to be on the opposite end of the bloodletting? No, he knew the answer to that question. It had happened before, and it had been terrifying. Ultimately, it had killed him. The redhead had done it; that memory came back to him, seared forever. But what if it was willing? What if he gave, to help another? In the current political climate, would it not be safer for Charlotte?

He held her gaze silently for a few long seconds before he nodded. She seemed so sure, and as willing as Lancaster would be to give his own blood if it helped, he wasn’t quite sure how to go about offering. He’d never been comfortable with the word ‘vampire’. Now that he was no longer among the leagues of the undead, he was still uncomfortable with the whole situation.

”You know if there’s anything you need, Charlotte, you only have to ask,” he said. ”I might no longer be like you, but I’ve still got experience. And I’ve still got strength, and plenty to offer,” he said. So many years ago he had taken Charlotte under his wing; he’d basically adopted her, brought her so deep into the d’Artois line that he felt like he’d turned her himself. But he hadn’t, and he had to remember that. And he thought it pertinent to reassure her that nothing had changed. Even if everything had changed.

[CharlotteC]

Charlie blinked at his words, there was something about what he said that threw her. Granted, to some it would just come off as a mentor offering his help and his knowledge no matter the circumstances, but Charlie knew him better then that. Granted, she had been gone a long time, far longer then she had intended, but she still could hear an undercurrent in his voice, something there, a hidden meaning. The problem was, she didn't like to assume things. Especially if there was someone else involved.

Leaning forward a little more, she dropped her voice nearly to a whisper "What do you mean, Elliot?" She blinked again, he had to know that she knew she could count on him for anything. Granted, he was no longer a vampire, she would be more likely to protect him than him her, but she knew he would look out for her, he was always looking out for her. He said he had a few tricks up his sleeve, she would have to ask him about those tricks at a later time, for now though, her curiousity was piqued by his offer. It was vague, that usually wasn't like him. At least, not that she remembered. And since she had an eidetic memory.

She glanced around, Lancaster's wasn't packed, but there was enough people around that if they weren't careful, they could still do some damnage to the world of the supernatural. From what she had been hearing from Rhett and Wilber - both active pub crawlers - the climate of things were shaky at best. Most humans and Paladins still hated vampires from what she heard, so she had to be careful when she did feed. Feeding often drew attention, hell, just sitting, enjoying a conversation with Elliot drew attention. It was the one downfall of being an Allurist.

[Lancaster]

Lancaster thought it might have been obvious, what he meant. But in situations like this, he had to try to put himself in the other person’s shoes. One couldn’t know what taboos were attached to vampires and blood—how to ask for it, when one should, whether one should. Was it taboo if it was not offered? If the vampire in question had to ask? Should it always be offered first? Someone needed to write a book on it, or at least a few essays. It wouldn’t be him. He liked reading them, but wasn’t a great writer.

Beyond music, of course. But he hadn’t done that in… was it years, now? The instrument upstairs had gathered layers of dust.

”It means that if you need blood, I can offer it,” he said. She’d asked a question and he couldn’t lie. There was the answer. ”I haven’t been… bitten, since the cure. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with my blood. It hasn’t been tested,” he said. He hadn’t really thought about it, and now that the thought had crossed his mind – would it be fair to use Charlotte as a guinea pig? What if there was something wrong with his blood? What if the chemicals that had been used to cure him had altered it somehow to make it poisonous to vampires? What if it made her sick? Could he give it to her without knowing the answers?

But how would he ever find out the answers if he didn’t try it on someone?

He shrugged his shoulders, palms raised. The offer remained. Now that vampires were out in the open, he wished that the city would get its act together. Now that humans knew, shouldn’t the vampires be making the most of it? If they convinced the human occupants of the city that there was nothing to fear, then perhaps more of them would be willing to offer up their blood. There’d be less violence. But it was an optimistic and naïve hope. With how many vampires there were that enjoyed the bloodlust, he doubted it would solve anything.

But he, at least, could help a friend if she needed it.

[CharlotteC]

And there it was, the offer. Charlie had a strong feeling that had been what he meant before, but now, now there was no question as to what it was he was offering to her. Her chocolate eyes closed for a moment and she stopped breathing. She listened to what he said though at the end of his offer, her eyes opened, met his and then shifted to the pulse in his neck for a moment. That steady pulse. Her eyes looked back to meet his again and she let out the breath she had been holding.

Elliot had offered her so much in the years she had seen him as her sire, as her mentor. Money, relics, guns, swords, anything she needed that she had been unable to get herself, he'd get it to her. And now, this was his way of offering to continue to help her. Yes, she had Rhett and Wilber to feed on, but she knew that if they just couldn't get to her in time, or if she was running low on anima - much like she was this evening - she'd need something else. Someone else.

Elliot, he could be her next safety net, he would provide once more for her. She knew she could count on him for so much, now he was stepping that up a notch. She bit down on her lower lip, thankful that her fangs were not permanent like so many other vampires she had known of, past and present. If she was honest with herself - and given the fact she was unable to lie, she had to be - there was worry that his cure might cure her too. Unlike him, she actually had embraced almost all of her vampire life, as if she had been born to be a vampire.

Her eyes broke from his and began to travel the pub. One thing was sure, they would have to find a better place than here if she was to take him up on the offer. While she knew vampires were out of the coffin now, she was well advised that humans still didn't care to watch vampires feed. Most of the time anyways. She would guess either the office or one of the rooms upstairs would be best.

There was also the fact that she worked there, she doubted it would look professional for her to crawl into her bosses lap and feed on him. Though, she doubted the crawling into his lap. With Rhett, sitting in his lap was more like sitting on her brother's lap. And then Wilber always chose to kneel before her given their height difference. With Elliot, she still saw him as not only her sire and mentor, but off the market. They had always been completely platonic. Feeding off him, that would been a new experience and she didn't quite know how she'd feel if she did. He wasn't Rhett, he wasn't Wilber, he wasn't even some random stranger to which there was little to no care for other than to not kill them or make them fear her considering that they all would remember her bite. She made sure with any random stranger that she left the idea of her feeding off them as pleasant as possible.

She released her lower lip finally, one question on her mind. "Do you want to know what it feels like? You would remember it with me." She asked quietly, her eyes shifting about the room again.

[Lancaster]

It was strange, to be able to feel what others are feeling. It might be compared to reading minds but it was not so useful as that. Lancaster could feel Charlotte’s worry, her hesitation, but he didn’t why she worried, though he could guess at her hesitation. He was honest with her, and he would not be offended if she declined his offer on the basis that she didn’t know what his blood might do to her. He followed Charlotte’s gaze; he waited for her to explain her doubts but instead, she asked more questions.

Did he want to know what it felt like? Maybe. He hadn’t really thought about it. How many people had he bitten, wondering what it felt like for them? Whether it hurt, whether he’d done damage, whether they’d bruise, whether they enjoyed it, why they enjoyed it, if they did. In the end, he shook his head.

”I didn’t really think about it like that. I’m not concerned with how it feels, or even remembering,” he said with a laugh. ”I’ve forgotten so many things lately, what’s one more, right?” he said, leaning back a little to push his fingers through his wayward hair. It wasn’t as soft as it had been for so many years. It was prone now to get greasy and dirty more than it did. Honestly, it probably needed a wash (though it was not gross, not just yet). ”My only concern is to make sure you get what you need. But if you’re unsure about the consequences, I won’t be offended. I’ll still do whatever is in my power to help,” he said. And he didn’t make the offer lightly, either. His power, these days, had just as much heft as he’d had as a vampire. The difference, however, was that there wasn’t an underlying current of rage, violence, and despair. He was more in tune with nature, now. He didn’t do yoga, but he did meditate every now and again. It helped to centre him, so that he’d have greater control over the new power that he had learned, that he had been gifted.

And this time, it truly was a gift. Not something masquerading as a gift. When he died, now, he believed that he would go to the Shadow Realm but, as a human, there’d be other doors. He’d see the other side of Limbo. What he’d find, he had no idea. He wasn’t religious. But he was not afraid of death.

[CharlotteC]

Charlie blinked when he spoke of forgetting things, what things had he forgotten? Were they things he wished to remember? She wanted to ask but would he want to answer? Would he want her to know? So many questions, yet there was one thing she didn't need to question. He clearly remembered her, cared for her still, to the point that he would offer his blood to her, offer anything she'd need. He was first and foremost her mentor and the closest thing she had to a sire. The creature that turned her had never cared for her the way Elliot did.

He spoke again and Charlie smiled softly, the smile reaching her chocolate eyes so that they took on a more milk chocolate appearance. He cared about her, she really didn't need to know anything else, if he wanted to share she would willingly sit and listen, but if he didn't, she wouldn't drag out skeletons of the past from the closet. Her eyes darted only momentarily to the pulse in his neck but just as quickly returned to his gaze. "I only seem off put by the idea because while vampires are out of the coffin, I doubt you'd want your patrons to watch you get fed on." She said with a soft laugh then added "Unless you're into that?" She teased as she relaxed back into her seat and added one last thing "Well, that and to tell you the truth, I've always been quite shy about my feeding. Rhett and Wilber usually only offer when I am home or if I'm seriously injured from a rough battle. Other than that, I use my powers or buy the blood."

It was weird that she had been shy about feeding from others, but it was there. She didn't feel bad about eating regular food in public, but perhaps it was just that lingering hold on a secrecy she was never really a fan of in the first place. Though, that was more for the freedom of others, not herself. She didn't mind keeping certain aspects of the vampire world private, she just didn't want some group of terroists or a government controlling what she and others did because of what they were.

[Lancaster]

Lancaster shrugged, even as he laughed and settled back in the chair. The offer had been made and there was no rush to fulfil it, if it was something Charlotte wanted to think about. He couldn’t judge her. He’d been much the same. Feeding had never been his favourite thing. It had driven him down into a dark hole that only Pi had been able to drag him from, and only by offering her own blood in substitution. He had become what plenty of vampires loathed—a necurat. And only for selfish reasons. The same amount of humans had to be fed on, except he himself didn’t have to do the feeding. Pi did. And then she’d been the one to find him the relic, the armlet that he’d worn twenty-four-seven. He’d never had to feed. For years.

And now, for the life of him, he could not remember what had happened to that relic. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember where he’d put it, or what he’d done with it. He knew he’d taken it off so that he could put himself into a coma that had never come to fruition.

He’d since revisited old, harmful memories by stepping into the apartment he and Pi had shared, when she’d been there. There was a layer of dust over everything. He found the letter he’d left behind for her, should she ever return. It was untouched. He found the ‘wedding’ ring, one half of the set they’d bought for each other despite never having been bound or married—they’d just been symbols, markers that they were each other’s property. He left both letter and ring where he’d left them, in an apartment he’d locked up and had never gone back to.

There was no relic.

He wished he had it, now, so that he could give it to Charlotte. Though, she didn’t sound like she struggled as much as he had, despite her shyness. She had her options. And her situation was not desperate.

”No, I wasn’t suggesting we do it here. If you wanted to, I’d have suggested going upstairs,” he said, head cocked back, eyes glancing skyward. The backpackers was upstairs, with its private rooms. And beyond that, the attic where he lived. ”I’ll try source once of those relics for you, though. I’m a bit confused about what happened to the one I had…”