Re: We'll Deck Your Halls (PARTY! Open)
Posted: 19 Dec 2016, 16:37
The ugly Christmas sweater has become a ubiquitous feature of the holiday season. In fact, it has become so popular that it rivals such pervasive pastimes as grumbling about Black Friday sales, wrestling with Christmas lights, and worrying about whether or not you really did send that greetings card to Aunt Edna – because you forgot last year and she certainly made the point to remind you of its absence in an hour long phone conversation concerning your relative selfishness and how you must hate her. Festive family fallouts aside, these tacky garments are now being re-appropriated from their perpetual shameful spot in the wardrobe and making their way into the spotlight at any and every festive event. But what makes an ugly Christmas sweater? Tell-tale signs are a liberal use of red and green, comically large depictions of snowmen, reindeer, and Christmas trees, and any sort of pom-pom or felt applique. You might even consider the addition of tiny bells, baubles, and fairy lights on a jumper to classify as particularly ugly too. In fact, anything that is garish, obnoxious, loud, or blinkering should classify. So, the world is your oyster when it comes to making trashy attire decisions this season.
While the sweater as a garment has existed in the United States since the late 19th century, hideous holiday versions only began to sprout up in the last several decades. Bill Cosby was a modern-day pioneer of the trend and is revered as an ugly sweater icon for his portrayal as Cliff Huxtable in the 80’s sitcom: The Cosby show. At Christmas time, the family man was synonymous with a woolly pullover featuring questionable colour mixing and patterns. Thanks to Cosby, as well as Chevy Chase in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, these sweaters experienced a resurgence. Sequined-soaked jumpers and tinsel-tethered apparel were popular until the 90’s began, where it hit a bit of a lull. In the past decade, however, the trend has picked up steam once more. According to the Ugly Christmas Sweater Party Book: The Definitive Guide to Getting Your Ugly On, there was a noticeable uptake in ugly sweater parties around 2001, and the tradition snowballed from there. Now the sweater scene is bigger than ever, but in a very hipster-like, and oh-so-ironic way. Vintage stores, the Salvation Army, and Goodwill are reaping the benefits of this craze, but the trend has reached as far as fast-fashion shops, high-end retailers, and even the runway.
Those who unwittingly started the trend are now back in business as people of all ages are feeling the ugly-sweater fever. With the rise of sweater-themed parties, guests young and old are rushing to top each other with the most frills, bows, and gauche decorations yet. Tonight, Lincoln King’s party appeared to be yet another excuse for thrill-seekers to get out and about in their criminally ugly sweaters. Claude had found himself an invite yet again, but, he was perfectly undecided about partaking in Mr King’s little game this time around. He could forgo a mystery prize at the cost of his ego; even if his curiosity was already whetted by the prize’s ambiguousness. Could he fathom a logical explanation to outwit his ego then? Whether or not an ugly Christmas sweater constituted as a fashion faux pas or not, it certainly roused an undeniably warm and fuzzy feeling as it conjured up memories of home and childhood. It’s also quite cosy and practical in chilly winter weather. After all, holidays are often fraught with anxiety about the financial drain of gift-giving and the copious amounts of family interaction… What better way to de-stress than to throw on an obnoxious sweater and have a laugh? And also drink –drink in such copious amounts until the sweater becomes funny even to the wearer.
After having made his case to himself, Claude did the impossible and located an ugly Christmas sweater that didn’t quite revolt him. In fact, it rather appealed to his modest and senselessly mature nature. As these garments go, it wasn’t dreadfully made either. The quality was fairly decent, enough to be put through the wash perhaps… four times before the stitches unravelled and spools of green thread trailed about him like fir needles. With Claude being Claude, however, and being always prepared for the worst, he was prepared for the outfit to fray immediately after having put it on. To stave off being bare-chested at a festive function then, he wore a very casual white shirt beneath; with the collar of said white shirt being folded over the neck of said ugly green jumper. A pair of black pants accompanied his garish ensemble, finished off by a leather belt and silver buckle which disappeared under the ugly jumper anyway. A heavy jet-coloured Chesterfield overcoat complemented his outfit as well, worn not merely because it kept out much of the Canadian winter chill, but also because it hid the offending sweater from the public eye. Surely he could limit his embarrassment to a reasonable degree!
Appropriately festooned then, Claude entered the evening’s venue and found himself an equally appropriate roost at the bar. Having yet to unbuckle his coat, the repugnant jumper remained but a peeking green head of potential between the folded lapels. He had ducked his head upon entry, amber eyes fixated on the bar which floated like a life-raft out in a night-soaked sea. The delicate lights flickered like stars, glinting off the various textures of silver and gold which had been speckled about in the form of baubles and tinsel. Rich greens and red delighted the eyes of others, but blurred in his peripherals. He didn’t pause to appreciate the treats laid out, nor the sprigs of mistletoe strung up to entice casual dancers into romantic embraces. When his capricious mind was set, the German often failed to notice the instances around him, dismissing them as trivial obstacles against his defined path. But, once he had a drink in his hand – a hearty amber liquor swirling in crystal with the same spicy stirrings present in his eyes – Claude could finally appreciate the décor. Not only that, but he could appreciate that the other guests were also playing along to this ugly sweater game. He thought he recognised a few faces too, faces that needn’t ever hide behind a mask, but had made the best of Lincoln’s request both times. It was better, he thought, to see them bending to outfit themselves in outrageously festive jumpers than to hide their faces. Of course he could admit to being terribly shallow, but, that was not the only reason Claude enjoyed studying a face.
Faces, like paintings, are worth a thousand words. They tell stories. They depict the nature of one man’s life, his heritage, his values, and assign some sort of reliable estimation regarding his personality and potential. Claude was as hasty as he was shallow; he preferred to take the path of least resistance, to make assumptions based on high probabilities, and risk the least he could afford to. His life had been a trial of high-octane judgments and their consequences. You made a decision, you made it quickly, firmly, and decisively. There was no time for second guessing. Time is money. Money is power. Power allows you the luxury of life itself. It was a harsh reality, one shaped like a circle; feeding itself, empowering itself, never allowing itself to end. Claude had not known any other way to live before he had made the conscious effort to step outside of that circle. He was considered free now, and yet, without those restraints he appeared to wander quite aimlessly. The gravity of others occasionally pulled him in, manipulated his orbit, but he only strayed a little; his sights set on moving forward and rarely looking back even if he didn’t know where he was headed.
He remained at the bar for now, an elbow bent backward to rest the very edge of his forearm against the countertop. The other hand meanwhile was far too occupied with the task of presenting an adequate supply of liquor to be sipped every few minutes. Amber eyes intermittently glanced about the room, remembered faces, fascinated over new ones, and dipped into his own glass to measure its contents. If it got too low, he would quickly request another. Being a supernatural being meant that these highs were only more difficult to obtain, not impossible, and so Claude remained determined. He also spotted their host again for the night who was both dauntingly familiar and busy flirting with a butterfly. In place of purple silk this time, the butterfly wore a red monstrosity. Claude supposed it was meant to be a classic Christmas tree, that jagged conical shape reaching toward a single golden star. Around it were caricature red and white stockings, hanging seemingly from mid-air if a story is to be presumed from the image. Not only that, but, these stockings were gigantic in proportion to the tree they surrounded. Claude had to laugh and shake his head, shake free the image of an enormous Santa Claus who terrorized tiny tree decorators with dirty socks…
Shortly, his attention wandered again. It circled another beaming red star, one that was wreathed with green tinsel, snowflakes, and what appeared to be… the Grinch’s hands. If this was a story, it was another questionable one; one that made the German’s brow knot into a curious, bemused frown. Not only did the Grinch make a living at stealing Christmas, but, he apparently moonlighted as a tummy tickler as well. Fortunately, as much as that sweater was striking in its dreadfulness, its wearer was as striking in her beauty. Claude mused much more fondly over the overall picture; admired golden curls, a face of incandescent youth, and eyes that scintillated like aquamarine. Hers was a visage of prosperity, for she had certainly been gifted with the attractiveness of a model. He could imagine her confidently strutting down a runway, the train of an ornate gown fluttering behind her like spun sugar. She would look as fantastic in white, platinum, and gold as she would in a brown burlap sack quite frankly. He moved to approach her right side, deciding against being a wall-flower for the evening, and offered her a friendly smile.
“Please do not take this the wrong way,” he said brazenly. “But, you might just win this ugly sweater competition. Well done.” And he tipped his head to her, his drink too, making the finest Gatsby performance since Leonardo DiCaprio.
While the sweater as a garment has existed in the United States since the late 19th century, hideous holiday versions only began to sprout up in the last several decades. Bill Cosby was a modern-day pioneer of the trend and is revered as an ugly sweater icon for his portrayal as Cliff Huxtable in the 80’s sitcom: The Cosby show. At Christmas time, the family man was synonymous with a woolly pullover featuring questionable colour mixing and patterns. Thanks to Cosby, as well as Chevy Chase in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, these sweaters experienced a resurgence. Sequined-soaked jumpers and tinsel-tethered apparel were popular until the 90’s began, where it hit a bit of a lull. In the past decade, however, the trend has picked up steam once more. According to the Ugly Christmas Sweater Party Book: The Definitive Guide to Getting Your Ugly On, there was a noticeable uptake in ugly sweater parties around 2001, and the tradition snowballed from there. Now the sweater scene is bigger than ever, but in a very hipster-like, and oh-so-ironic way. Vintage stores, the Salvation Army, and Goodwill are reaping the benefits of this craze, but the trend has reached as far as fast-fashion shops, high-end retailers, and even the runway.
Those who unwittingly started the trend are now back in business as people of all ages are feeling the ugly-sweater fever. With the rise of sweater-themed parties, guests young and old are rushing to top each other with the most frills, bows, and gauche decorations yet. Tonight, Lincoln King’s party appeared to be yet another excuse for thrill-seekers to get out and about in their criminally ugly sweaters. Claude had found himself an invite yet again, but, he was perfectly undecided about partaking in Mr King’s little game this time around. He could forgo a mystery prize at the cost of his ego; even if his curiosity was already whetted by the prize’s ambiguousness. Could he fathom a logical explanation to outwit his ego then? Whether or not an ugly Christmas sweater constituted as a fashion faux pas or not, it certainly roused an undeniably warm and fuzzy feeling as it conjured up memories of home and childhood. It’s also quite cosy and practical in chilly winter weather. After all, holidays are often fraught with anxiety about the financial drain of gift-giving and the copious amounts of family interaction… What better way to de-stress than to throw on an obnoxious sweater and have a laugh? And also drink –drink in such copious amounts until the sweater becomes funny even to the wearer.
After having made his case to himself, Claude did the impossible and located an ugly Christmas sweater that didn’t quite revolt him. In fact, it rather appealed to his modest and senselessly mature nature. As these garments go, it wasn’t dreadfully made either. The quality was fairly decent, enough to be put through the wash perhaps… four times before the stitches unravelled and spools of green thread trailed about him like fir needles. With Claude being Claude, however, and being always prepared for the worst, he was prepared for the outfit to fray immediately after having put it on. To stave off being bare-chested at a festive function then, he wore a very casual white shirt beneath; with the collar of said white shirt being folded over the neck of said ugly green jumper. A pair of black pants accompanied his garish ensemble, finished off by a leather belt and silver buckle which disappeared under the ugly jumper anyway. A heavy jet-coloured Chesterfield overcoat complemented his outfit as well, worn not merely because it kept out much of the Canadian winter chill, but also because it hid the offending sweater from the public eye. Surely he could limit his embarrassment to a reasonable degree!
Appropriately festooned then, Claude entered the evening’s venue and found himself an equally appropriate roost at the bar. Having yet to unbuckle his coat, the repugnant jumper remained but a peeking green head of potential between the folded lapels. He had ducked his head upon entry, amber eyes fixated on the bar which floated like a life-raft out in a night-soaked sea. The delicate lights flickered like stars, glinting off the various textures of silver and gold which had been speckled about in the form of baubles and tinsel. Rich greens and red delighted the eyes of others, but blurred in his peripherals. He didn’t pause to appreciate the treats laid out, nor the sprigs of mistletoe strung up to entice casual dancers into romantic embraces. When his capricious mind was set, the German often failed to notice the instances around him, dismissing them as trivial obstacles against his defined path. But, once he had a drink in his hand – a hearty amber liquor swirling in crystal with the same spicy stirrings present in his eyes – Claude could finally appreciate the décor. Not only that, but he could appreciate that the other guests were also playing along to this ugly sweater game. He thought he recognised a few faces too, faces that needn’t ever hide behind a mask, but had made the best of Lincoln’s request both times. It was better, he thought, to see them bending to outfit themselves in outrageously festive jumpers than to hide their faces. Of course he could admit to being terribly shallow, but, that was not the only reason Claude enjoyed studying a face.
Faces, like paintings, are worth a thousand words. They tell stories. They depict the nature of one man’s life, his heritage, his values, and assign some sort of reliable estimation regarding his personality and potential. Claude was as hasty as he was shallow; he preferred to take the path of least resistance, to make assumptions based on high probabilities, and risk the least he could afford to. His life had been a trial of high-octane judgments and their consequences. You made a decision, you made it quickly, firmly, and decisively. There was no time for second guessing. Time is money. Money is power. Power allows you the luxury of life itself. It was a harsh reality, one shaped like a circle; feeding itself, empowering itself, never allowing itself to end. Claude had not known any other way to live before he had made the conscious effort to step outside of that circle. He was considered free now, and yet, without those restraints he appeared to wander quite aimlessly. The gravity of others occasionally pulled him in, manipulated his orbit, but he only strayed a little; his sights set on moving forward and rarely looking back even if he didn’t know where he was headed.
He remained at the bar for now, an elbow bent backward to rest the very edge of his forearm against the countertop. The other hand meanwhile was far too occupied with the task of presenting an adequate supply of liquor to be sipped every few minutes. Amber eyes intermittently glanced about the room, remembered faces, fascinated over new ones, and dipped into his own glass to measure its contents. If it got too low, he would quickly request another. Being a supernatural being meant that these highs were only more difficult to obtain, not impossible, and so Claude remained determined. He also spotted their host again for the night who was both dauntingly familiar and busy flirting with a butterfly. In place of purple silk this time, the butterfly wore a red monstrosity. Claude supposed it was meant to be a classic Christmas tree, that jagged conical shape reaching toward a single golden star. Around it were caricature red and white stockings, hanging seemingly from mid-air if a story is to be presumed from the image. Not only that, but, these stockings were gigantic in proportion to the tree they surrounded. Claude had to laugh and shake his head, shake free the image of an enormous Santa Claus who terrorized tiny tree decorators with dirty socks…
Shortly, his attention wandered again. It circled another beaming red star, one that was wreathed with green tinsel, snowflakes, and what appeared to be… the Grinch’s hands. If this was a story, it was another questionable one; one that made the German’s brow knot into a curious, bemused frown. Not only did the Grinch make a living at stealing Christmas, but, he apparently moonlighted as a tummy tickler as well. Fortunately, as much as that sweater was striking in its dreadfulness, its wearer was as striking in her beauty. Claude mused much more fondly over the overall picture; admired golden curls, a face of incandescent youth, and eyes that scintillated like aquamarine. Hers was a visage of prosperity, for she had certainly been gifted with the attractiveness of a model. He could imagine her confidently strutting down a runway, the train of an ornate gown fluttering behind her like spun sugar. She would look as fantastic in white, platinum, and gold as she would in a brown burlap sack quite frankly. He moved to approach her right side, deciding against being a wall-flower for the evening, and offered her a friendly smile.
“Please do not take this the wrong way,” he said brazenly. “But, you might just win this ugly sweater competition. Well done.” And he tipped his head to her, his drink too, making the finest Gatsby performance since Leonardo DiCaprio.