The Little Prince-Bohan

[Ainsley (DELETED 8973)]

Time did little to remove the ‘surreal’ feeling that encaged Ainsley. It was heavy, stifling, and at times even downright suffocating. Bohan did his best to be a shoulder, or ear for Ainsley, but they had both suffered a great tragedy. Both of them had been preparing for the time when Gabriel would come into their lives and be a permanent resident in those lives. To experience ‘firsts’ together-the good and the bad ones. Both had been robbed of those firsts, and would probably never get the opportunity to experience those once again.

Ainsley wasn’t an unintelligent person. She graduated high school in the top twenty percent or almost eight hundred peers. In fact, if anyone wanted to know just what number she graduated as, she could tell them. Because of how well she did, Ainsley went on to college to pursue a degree in literature. After receiving her bachelor's, Ainsley attained her masters just a couple years ago, and was now a co-owner of a small shop where she sold her hand crafted greeting cards. Her partner in crime, and co-owner ran the small cafe towards the back of the shop, each one paying half the rent each month. It was a very smart move on both women’s part.

So Ainsley believed herself to be relatively ‘smart,’ or ‘educated,’ at least. With two degrees under her belt and running a successful business that while, didn’t make her tens of thousands of dollars each month, she wasn’t exactly bad off. Even if her ‘romance’ with Mr. Unnameable went down in flames the second she let him know she was pregnant. Ainsley believed that this moment; Gabriel had been her only shot at experiencing motherhood. She was told not to try and have another child for another year-not that she was even remotely interested in that right now. Not that she was interested in chasing after a Mr. Wrong, or Mr. Right again, either. As far as Ainsley was concerned, her interest in the opposite gender in that capacity vanished when Gabriel’s dad disappeared from the face of the earth.

But, Ainsley knew what Bohan was doing, or trying to do, because she wasn’t oblivious or unintelligent. He didn’t want her to go home, or frankly be alone, for obvious reasons. She wondered what the nurses told him, because while they were waiting for the days to pass until Ainsley could be discharged, Bohan was never too far away. Even if taking a private phone call, he was just outside the door, poking his head in every once in awhile to make sure she was still there.

“Okay. And yes to the water. Anything, really.” Ainsley said after a delayed pause between them. “I don’t mind the couch, either.” She offered, not wanting to impose too much, but knew he wouldn’t have it any other way. “It’s comfy.” Ainsley followed, giving him a small smile as her eyes landed on her brother. “I’d like to watch a movie, or something.” She said while Bohan approached her. Their fingers connected at his offering, her once slightly shaky hand stabilizing as she locked their fingers together tighter. Once secured with his, the trembling desisted and she nodded her head. “Yeah, sure. Anything you want.” She sat once she said that, fearing she wouldn’t be able to keep her weight up, and looked up at Bohan. “If I over stay my welcome at some point, just let me know.” She concluded, even though Ainsley knew he wouldn’t.

[Meg (DELETED 9121)]

Meg felt horrible. Ainsley had gone into labor, and she couldn’t find a babysitter. It was Christmas for Christ’s sake. Who in the right mind would drop what they were doing with friends and family and go babysit a sick five year old? She wouldn’t, so she really couldn’t blame anyone else. Mack had the flu. Verified by her GP. She was under orders to keep him, inside and to push fluids to keep him from dehydrating. Mack had a habit of not eating or drinking when he was sick. He was already below where he should be for his age, because he was such a picky eater. The last thing he needed was the flu. But of course.. What he didn’t need, was exactly what he got. And at the worst possible time. She sister was in labor, about to have the baby.

Meg should be there. But she couldn’t haul Mack out in freezing weather, and take him to a hospital of all places. If he didn’t infect an innumerable amount of people, he would probably end up catching something himself. Hospitals were breeding zones for every infection known to man! And in his weakened condition, no. She told Bo, she would be there as soon as she could. But call after call, she kept getting turned down. She pulled the scrunchie off her ponytail and impatiently put it back up. It was one of those ticks that showed she was frustrated. She was just about ready to bundle the boy up and take him regardless, when Bo had called. She answered the phone expecting to be told she missed the birth.

====

Ten minutes later, Mack started calling her. Meg forced herself out of her daze. She wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand. She went to check on Mack getting him some water, and taking his temperature. It had gone up again. There would be no taking him out, not with his temp up. When Mack asked her why she was crying, she hadn’t even realized she had been crying again.

She sat on the edge of his bed. “Aunt Ainsley..” Her throat closed up. Maybe she shouldn’t tell him? She swallowed hard. She had not even contemplated this eventuality. She shouldn’t have to do this! Her anger at the universe for having to tell her son, when Ainsley was hurting worse, made her feel awful at how selfish her feelings were.

Mack nodded, “Aunt Aine is having the baby.” Said so innocently. “We’re gonna play legos.” He paused, “Well he can only watch.. Cause he’s only a baby. But I will help him. When I get all better.”

Meg’s heart broke yet again. Mack had been so excited about the baby. He wanted to be an older brother, and he had already decided that this baby was his brother. He had helped pick out all the presents for the baby. What the baby would like, and what he wouldn’t like. She had to tell him. It would be cruel to not tell him.

“Sweetie..” She took a deep breath and slowly expelled it. “The baby didn’t make it.” It was all she could do to utter those five words.

Mack frowned and his little face got serious. “God needed him more than us?” Meg was choking back the sob she felt rising when he added. “He must be a special one. Miss Heather says only the very special kids get to go to God straight away.” He sighed. “I would have liked to meet him first though.” He snuggled down into his pillow, while Meg tucked him in.

“Try to get some sleep..”

Meg then went into the bathroom, turned the shower on, and sat on the closed toilet and cried.

[Bohan]

Nothing could have deterred the impact of her last words or the look in her eyes as they gazed up at him. The flood of memories that it brought back had him holding onto his breath. Memories that had no place there. Not now. Likely never. The last one to utter those words could rot in hell as far as he was concerned.

“You belong here. This is much your home now as it was when you forgot your key and picked the lock nearly getting arrested for drunken breaking and entering four years ago.” Bohan figured that was worth mentioning as a reminder. “Home is wherever we are, Ainsley.”

He knew something much more profound should be said but words were still hard to come by. Hopefully Meg and Mack would still be up. Perhaps she was bundling the lil man up and heading over. She was good at making sense of things that he couldn’t sort out. Not that he left the hopsital with Ainsley empty handed. The discharge instructions, the possible complications to look for were clear in the bold print. No less than five pages attatched to a folder went home with them. He stuffed it tight into the bag they never got to unzip for the right reasons. The folder was supposed to help him with all that could come up. So much for the blue recycable two pocket folder. It contained numerous pamphlets for support service groups, agencies and emergency contacts in case what no one wants to have happen sneaks up unexpectedly.

It didn’t tell what to say, what to expect that a person would feel like when a set of eyes were looking up for relief like Ainsley’s were at that moment. As fair as he considered himself to be as a human being at that moment he felt ugly and mean. He wished this was happening to some unkown family they would never have to cross paths with or be aware of. He wouldn’t feel guilty then for the fact he wanted to have the grief shifted to them and the joy that was supposed to be theirs back in it’s place.

“I am texting Meg and letting her know we are home.” With that said it was as good as done as soon as he turned on his cell briefly for that purpose. It was shut off as soon as it was sent. "Shouldn't be too long before they arrive."

[Ainsley (DELETED 8973)]

Bohan was doing the best he could, but no one had any real answers. How could they? No one knew what this meant, and why it had to happen. There was no real answer in her mind. No reason. She had experienced thirty years of life, and Gabriel hadn't even been afforded five minutes. Not in her eyes. Anyone could argue that he had lived almost nine months, but that wasn't really living. There wasn't anything he was allowed to experience. If she could have changed places in heartbeat, Ainsley would have without a blink of an eye.

The dark haired woman pulled her feet off the ground and pressed them into the top of the couch as she nodded her head. As Ainsley suspected, Bohan wouldn't let her feel like she was overstaying her welcome. Even if a week, a month, or even a year went by. At the mention of Meg's name, her eyes sparked some semblance of life within them. Meg would know. Meg would have answers. If anyone had what she was looking for, Meg did. She was the more practical of them, the wisest in Ainsley's mind, but maybe that was because she was the oldest. Outside of her douchebag ex, Meg had her **** together. Ainsley thought so. Bohan did too, but when people thought about the three of them, everyone believed Meg to be the more mature, and stable of them. Financially secure and all that. “Okay.” She nodded as her back crushed the back of the couch, allowing it to absorb her into it. “Meg can help. Will help.” She said with a small smile before Ainsley buried her head in her hands and took a deep breath in, then let it out. “Love you, Bohan.” She said, as Ainsley nestled her way into the crook of the couch, her arms wrapped around her legs, while Ainsley processed what had happened, and what was to come. What, if anything would they tell their father? Would he even care? Probably lot. Which had Ainsley asking, in a dreaded tone, “Did anyone call dad, yet?”

[Bohan]

Bohan looked up from the counter where his cell went to sleep. Ainsley’s words found him despite the distance between them. He needed it when their father was mentioned. Even the soft tone of her voice, the part that was evident as soon as he found her in that cold sterile room, didn’t keep the twitch at the corners of his jaw at bay. Nothing could do that when it came to him. He tried to remember when he last called him. It was far longer since he last spoke to him. The argument they had ended with Bohan swearing his fingers wouldn’t dial his number even if he was dying and the man was the last human on earth. So far he was holding up his end of that promise.

He reached for his own face and massaged the pads of his fingers on the corners of his bristly framed mouth. The face that had an influence in how the siblings smiled appeared in his thoughts as pulled downward until he felt the resistance of the facial hair staying beneath his skin. If their father had been happy even for a moment Bohan would never know it. They were about as close and with as much in common as a dry match striking a hard surface and a gasoline spill nearby. There was a lot of potential if put together but none of it was considered safe or good. Wisdom had prevented it from happening if at all possible.

Till now. Now it was completely different. Everything was. Gabriel made it so. It was as if his cheeks were as thick and immovable as cement hardened more so by the last twenty four hours that had delivered them from the greatest high to the unfathomable low. But something warmed him as it came to him and made the stone like muscles beneath his layers of skin give way briefly. He smiled just enough to touch her with reassurance. He would never deny her anything during this time. It was a wound that seemed to bleed into everything about them and around them.

“I am not sure if Meg did.” His only focus really had been Ainsley. Now the world was slowly finding it’s way back in and he had to receive the presence of what she allowed in. “I will call him.”

Bohan didn’t want to put it on her shoulders and ask if that is what she wanted. Of course she would rather call him herself and boast of the child that should be sleeping in her arms, nestled into her chest. Instead her arms were empty and her heart was broken. This was his call to make and he knew it as his hands picked up the cell phone he shut off prematurely. While the screen lit up he made his way briefly to her and leaned down and kissed her cheek.

“I am going to step outside for this.”

Bohan nodded to the balcony and allowed his feet to somehow carry him to the glass doors that needed to open before he would be able to step out. He felt hearing about what she already had been through was like pouring salt into an open wound. Not that talking about it was going to be any more easy for him. Especially with the one man that for once in his damn life would be wise to act like he cared. He hoped their less than stellar dad surprised the **** out of him and was on the first flight available. Not that he wanted to see the ********. But Ainsley deserved his time, his respect and his undivided attention. More than likely that wouldn’t be the case. He could see the man in front of his custom hardwood desk calling in his secretary to send something that would die eventually in front of Ainsley’s eyes with some note attached about holding her chin up.

[Ainsley (DELETED 8973)]

A month had gone by since the loss of Gabriel and her return home from the hospital. Life was progressing; moving forward. Ainsley had returned to work last week-part time. Something to fill the time; and truthfully, the emptiness that still resonated in the apartment. Ainsley had gone back to her own apartment a couple of times to grab some clothing and some personal items. On one of those visits, Ainsley had tried to box up all the clothing for Gabriel, and some of his toys, but after the first box, it had been too hard to do more than that. It felt wrong. It was still too early. Some of the time spent in the apartment allowed a release of emotions that Ainsley tried not to portray too often around her brother. He had heard enough of it, probably more than anyone could tolerate. He'd never say it, or show it, but Ainsley knew that in the small apartment, that not only voices, but tears could travel.

And in that month, their father hadn't called her once. She had been weak and foolish to expect him to give a damn about a grandchild he never met. If he couldn't even bother seeing his kids, or calling them, why would it be any different when it came to his grandkid? Did it bother her? It did, but Ainsley knew better and knew deep down that when she asked Bohan if anyone had called 'Dad' it had been a stupid thing to ask, or expect. Neither Meg, or Bohan wanted to deal with the guy since he abandoned them a long time ago. Anything and anyone they had become, was because of themselves and had nothing to do with him being a stand up 'dad.'

When Ainsley had gotten the flowers, they had remained on the counter for two days, until she realized that he wasn't going to call, or actually give a damn about Ainsley, or about Gabriel. They promptly found a garbage can on the second night and Ainsley felt nothing when she tossed perfectly good flowers in Bohan's garbage. He didn't ask where they went, he didn't need to.

"I'm going to work for a little bit." She told Bohan, grabbing an apple on her way to the door. "I'm feeling...inspired." She confessed with a small smile, hoping he would buy it. Eventually, Ainsley would go to work, but she planned on stopping by her own apartment and trying to give it another go with Gabriel's belongings. Maybe this week would be better than last week.