How Does This Keep Happening? [Snow Brooks]

[Jesse Fforde]

Trust.

It was a heavy word these days. Jesse had to laugh, teeth gleaming in the low light as he licked the blood from his own wrist, the wound healing near immediately. He took a couple of steps backward, movements oiled with an amphibian grace. A snake lived within him – the snake was his spirit animal, and the sinister vibe leaked from every pore.

By the door – a door that didn’t look like a door, but instead a bookshelf that opened on secret hinges – he pulled a lever. The bookshelf swung open, leading out to the warehouse-like second floor of the lair. The faint scent of spray paint still lingered.

”Eventually I hope you’ll see how much I’ll do for you, and trust will come naturally,” he said. ”It probably won’t be reciprocated,” he said as he breezed out the doors, fully expecting Snow to follow, and to listen at the same time.

”You know my name. You obviously know where I work. This is where I live – and where you will be welcome,” he said, gesturing to the vast space around them. He was headed straight for the elevator.

”I believe that what I have given you is a gift. Plenty I’ve given it to don’t agree. These days I lean more toward anarchy than toward any kind of law, but I keep my **** in check – most of the time – for the sake of those I’m responsible for,” he said with a pointed nod at Snow. Still, he did things for those he was responsible for. Why? It wasn’t as if he got much respect for it, but it was a habit he had trouble breaking.

”You are you. Your senses will be heightened, and your emotions too, maybe. You’ll have a ‘path’ – a particular set of abilities you’ll develop first. Once we figure that out, I can tell you more. You can’t go out in the sun, there’s a very low chance you’ll be able to eat or drink regular food, you won’t see yourself in the mirror, and if you die – if it’s within this city’s limits – you can come back to life,” he said. His tongue slid over this teeth, swallowing past his dry and thirsty throat.

”That’s the basics. Questions?”

[Snow Brooks (DELETED 8588)]

Snow went after Jesse, following him towards the elevator and listening all the while.
Her leg still throbbed slightly but other than that, she didn't seem to notice it was broken. She pushed her lanky hair away from her face, she'd really have to use the bathroom sometime.

"So...why can't I be out in the sun? Do other vampires get to see themselves in the mirror or is it a general thing? And if I can't eat proper food, how the heck do I eat? You understand that this is a life changing experience right? Like having kids or moving out. If I can't do all the things I did before, what can I do?

Snow understood very well the opportunity she had been given. Not a lot of people got to boast of immortality in their twenties. But then...

" You said I'd be immortal. If I can't die, what about my family? Won't they get suspicious after say...twenty years going by and I'm still looking the same?" She was thinking of her mother. Mama was not likely to notice her daughter had joined the ranks of the undead, besides she was in a different city. Dani however...

"And what about you?" Snow said, jerking a finger in Jesse's direction. "Do you have any other family? And more importantly, why are you doing this?" She understood very well what loyalty and trust were. Given enough time, she might be able to do anything for the vampire who had sired her. She didn't exactly have a lot of people to trust and staring at Jesse's bleach tinted, tattoo covered skin, she thought: I've got to start somewhere anyways.

[Jesse Fforde]

The questions came thick and fast; Jesse stared at Snow for a few long seconds before he moved into the recently-opened elevator, waiting for her to join him before he pressed the button that would take them to Limbo.

”Okay. One at a time,” he breathed, narrowing his eyes as he sought to remember the numerous questions that had been asked. ”The sun will burn you. Quite badly. It won’t kill you on the first day but it’s a critical wound and you’ll be bed-bound for a night or so. Most of us can’t resist the pull of the sun and as soon as it’s in the sky, we sleep. We can barely be disturbed from that sleep unless in severe pain. If you are classed as a ‘killer’ you might learn to walk in the sun – or you can focus and practice, like I have, and learn to be able to resist it, and stay awake,” he said. He was forced to clear his throat, the more he talked the more rusty his voice started to sound, as if he were recovering from a severe cough, or as if he were a heavy smoker. He swallowed, spit lubricating his vocal cords, if only slightly, before he continued.

”If you are classed as an ‘Allurist’, you’ll be able to see yourself in a mirror. But you won’t like what you see, the longer you’re a vampire. You’ll start to see your corpse. We can rule out Allurist if you can’t see anything at all,” he said. He was probably confusing Snow with this Path talk, but he would explain in more detail later.

”You drink blood, that’s what you ‘eat’. Blood packs are preferable, but we’ll go out and I’ll teach you how to hunt,” he said. It was something he always did with the new ones – he tried his best to introduce them to all aspects of the vampiric life, so at least they would be prepared, no matter what they chose to do.

”As for your family, it’s probably best if you start distancing yourself from them,” he said. ”My family? My brother died when I was eight, my father died when I was seven, my mother is an alcoholic who I haven’t seen in four years, and I have a cousin who I hate. You’ll meet other vampires who claim the ‘Fforde’ name – they’re as close to a family that I have, now, though they mostly don’t act like it. Clover is my wife – you’ll meet her eventually, too,” he said.

At this point they’d reached Limbo, the elevator spitting them out onto the floor that was busy with things, but not so busy with people. Not at the moment, anyway. The main space was scattered with bean bags and cushions, there was a TV and a pinball machine, there was a computer and various other homely things. There were doors on each side leading through to private apartments, there was a kitchen, a ritual table, a forge, and a crafting bench. There were also a couple of shimmering portals that led elsewhere, through which Jesse would eventually lead Snow, to show her how they worked and where they went.

”This, for all intents and purposes, is home,” he said.

[Snow Brooks (DELETED 8588)]

Snow gave a small, wry laugh.

"Family huh? My mother is an out of it schizophrenic and my sister hates my guts. I won't have to distance myself from them. But, apart from that, you said I can't walk in the sun unless I can control it. What if I can't?"

The thought of having to sleep all day and only emerge at night like some proverbial bat scared Snow. She didn't want to have to readjust, trying to figure out this new life. Being undead was already bad enough. Now there was a whole new minefield that came with having to survive that way.

Snow didn't think about her family. Like Jesse had mentioned, she had a new family now. Exactly how that worked was still a mystery but she would have to figure it out later.

She stopped, crossing her arms and coming up in front of Jesse.

"Well, I'm not a hugger and I don't suppose you are either. But...you could have killed me. You didn't. I owe you that Jesse. Thank you. Now, do you want to see that flash drive or do I save it for later blackmail?" Snow smiled, a genuine thing that actually reached her eyes.

It might be a long time before she could smile like that again.

[Jesse Fforde]

Jesse shook his head.

”I said you can’t go out in the sun unless you’re a ‘Killer’, or unless you practice and learn to stay away. There’s no ‘control’ about it. If you don’t possess the power, you can’t go out in the sun, period. Even if you can resist sleep,” he said. As helpful as it was, sometimes, to avoid sleep, even Jesse couldn’t walk out in the sun. It was something he was working on, having already spoken to the wraith who’d allowed him to unlock the abilities within himself that belonged to the Killer path.

”I’d suggest just not going out in the sun, kay? You can get yourself a really flattering ‘dead’ look like I haven,” he said, flashing a grin and turning his face to the side, framing it with his hands. He had been told that he didn’t look so bad for a Necromancer, which was somewhat of a relief. He already turned humans off just by being near them. What if he looked like Nosferatu as well? Though he still tried not to stand directly under bright lights – sometimes, that pure dead visage shone through.

Looking now at Snow, he did notice the extra paleness to her skin, the dark circles under her eyes. She looked a bit like a corpse warmed up herself, and it had Jesse wondering. But they could wait for her first ability to manifest, and then they would know, for sure, which path she walked. Guessing wouldn’t do anybody any favours.

Jesse nodded. Yes, he could have killed her. But he hadn’t. There was something about her willpower that appealed to him. He doubted that it could be turned into anything resembling loyalty – but it was his own fault, really, for continuing to turn people on a whim. It was something he really had to stop doing.

”As for that harddrive, I’d love to see what you got. Need to learn to cover my tracks a bit better, hm?” he said. Maybe he’d still be alive if he’d covered his tracks better to begin with. But here they were, and they could only move forward.

[Snow Brooks (DELETED 8588)]

Snow shrugged, not really letting on what she was thinking.

"The hard drive's at my mom's old house. They don't live there anymore so it's pretty safe to go to. Think of it as my backup camp," the woman gave a wry smile. She was going back to her old home to start anew.

Ironic.

"We should go now. I can ask the rest of my questions on the way. Like, what now? Officially I'm dead right? What happens if someone spots me outside? Besides, this whole feeding thing,how does it work?"

Snow was using her journalist voice, the persistent one that fired questions a hundred at a time without pausing for answers.

What she really was doing however, was stalling. She was scared of everything that was probably coming. What did she know about immortality?

Snow didn't know anyone and regardless of what Jesse had said about family, she wasn't sure how she would take to her new family.

Snow pulled her clothes around her, her fingers against the soft fabric. This was real. All she had to do was focus on it.

[Jesse Fforde]

”What’s your rush, buttercup?” he asked. He’d brought her up here to show her the place; to bring her to the kitchenette where there were blood bags stored. She must be thirsty. But, he supposed he could show her the way around, and if she was desperate to get outside he could show her how to go about feeding while there. Throw her into the deep end, as it were.

”Unfortunately I seem to curse everyone I turn. Whenever you bite someone, they remember you. I assume it’ll happen to you, too – it’s happened to everyone else. So you have a choice of either never biting anyone and feeding only on packs or animals, or killing them,” he said, gaze steady, nothing in his tone to suggest that he was kidding. He’d lost count of how many souls he’d slaughtered for a good meal.

”Or you can find someone willing, but that’s like finding a needle in a haystack,” he said. Jesse himself couldn’t find anyone willing, unless he wanted to take the chance of turning them with a bite – as he had Snow, assuming that the fire would take her. Unless they wanted to bleed out into a cup. But that just took the fun out of everything.

”Food is a no no. Did I mention this yet? Unless you’re an allurist…” he said, wandering over to the kitchen where there were knives resting in a knife block. He picked the biggest, shiniest one and stood behind Snow, tilting the silver to and fro. It reflected the space behind them, but they were both invisible. According to the knife. Just as quickly, he replaced the blade.

”Nope, ruling that one out. Not an Allurist. So food and drink won’t work. You’ll just throw it back up again. I wouldn’t even try,” he said, bluntly. He was now leading the way toward one of the shimmering portals – it was located just beyond the ritual table. It would take them to the slums.

[Snow Brooks (DELETED 8588)]

"Kill them?

Snow spat out the words as if they were poison. She was still trying to accept the fact that her only form of sustenance would be blood from now on and here was Jesse telling her she would either have to turn someone or kill them. Her whole life she had been trying to avoid the craziness she had been caught up in. This though, this was taking the cake.

She stopped a few feet away from Jesse, her fists clenched.


"Unless there's a beast in here," she pointed to her chest, "I'm not killing anyone. It's selfish. It's crazy. Hell, it's psychotic! I may not be human anymore but do you really want people scared of you?" She struggled to keep her voice from rising but all she felt was a sick sense of nausea.

What happened when you were better than others? That was basically what it was with the vampires. A survival of the fittest. Then again, how many people had actually cared for her while she was still alive? Did they know she wasn't so alive now?


Does mom? Does Lily?


Snow shook her head, trying to clear it. This was her life now. A part of her despised Jesse. He had ruined her life and made her like this. She could never go back to any of the things she had been used to before. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, right?

Right.

" I still think you're sick, Jesse. Taking someone else's life to satisfy your hunger. But, I need to know this stuff right? I'm in then. But, what's that?" She pointed to the portal.

[Jesse Fforde]

Jesse laughed.

Poor Snow. Did she realise what she had just asked? Jesse turned, feet scuffing on the wooden flooring. His hands were shoved neatly into his pockets and there was a particular kind of swagger in his movement as he closed the distance between himself and his fledgling. He did often wonder if he'd prefer it if they retained their fear of him. It might have made things easier. But it would never be cosy.

”You remember how you felt with me in that room with you? You don’t feel it now, but you did then,” he said, head canted to the side. He could have just answered yes, it wouldn’t be a lie. But he had to be serious for a second. Explanations would do Snow better than single worded statements.

”It didn’t matter that I came in through your window, silent as death. I could have approached you on the street as a stranger and you’d still have been terrified. Or wary, at least. I don’t have a choice. People are scared whether I want them to be or not. To answer your question? It is kind of satisfying, yes,” he said with a lopsided smirk. She wasn’t going to convert Jesse. He was sick. He was a monster. He would own those terms, wear them like badges that he was proud of.

Though he believed himself to be good in other ways. He had been called good.

”I’m not in the business of converting though, Snow. It’s okay. You don’t have to kill anyone. Keep your morals. You won’t be the only one who chooses to do so. But you have to be prepared to encounter some hurdles. My hunger is insatiable and the merest drop of blood can send me into a frenzy. Again, not personal choice. Careful, Snow, you might just end up as sick as me,” he said with a wink. May as well scare her a little now, given how he’d just told her how satisfying it could be.

Turning back to the portal, he gestured to it with open palms.

”This is kind of like the floo powder system without the powder,” he said. He wondered whether the Harry Potter reference would be caught.

”Basically, it gets us from one part of the city to another in a matter of seconds. There’s a whole selection of them here and at our Larch Court residence,” he said, gesturing to the second shimmering portal over by the elevator. He’d stopped completely, not stepping through yet.

”And I’m going to give you a tome which will bring you right back here in a matter of seconds. You’ll never have to catch public transport again. Now, I was going to take you through here,” he said, gesturing to the portal on his left. ”To teach you how to hunt. But given your vehement reluctance, I’m guessing you’d prefer me to show you how to get your hands on packs,” he said, brow arched. His voice was starting to give out on him. His throat required lubrication. It burned, it thirsted, constantly dry. He ignored it.

[Snow Brooks (DELETED 8588)]

"I wasn't being vehement, "


Snow crossed her arms over her chest and glared steadily at Jesse. She had picked up on the Harry Potter reference, her sister had loved the books when they were younger. She hadn't. She was noting everything the vampire said about tomes and portals. To her, that seemed almost...wrong. Essentially, he had just told her the portals were like escape tunnels as long as she had a tome.


"I'm not reluctant about hunting," she continued. She had been around abbatoirs before, she knew what blood was and was less than squeamish about it. She just didn't think the whole killer instinct was in her. "Besids, I'll have to learn about hunting sooner or later. I'm ready for whatever you have in store."


That too was a lie. Assuming Jesse decided human was on the menu, what then? She didn't want to have to commit a homicide or be the accomplice in one. What was that absurd feeling Snow kept getting? As if she had to prove herself, please this lunatic somehow.


She also noticed the way his voice faltered slightly, like he was hungry- read thirsty. "Do you need a pack?" She asked. The question brought another thought to her mind, one she would have to ask Jesse after their proposed hunting trip. For now though, something he said had caught her.


He is good.


Good depending on whose perspective she saw. His victims or people who actually knew him. The blood lust was something she understood. It nagged at her slightly every now and then but she was sure she had it under control. Snow couldn't bear to think she didn't. Addiction was something she was familiar with. Her mother was more than ample example and she didn't want to go down that path.


Not now. Not ever.


"You can teach me about the blood bags later yeah? Right now, I want to see how hunting works." The fledgling gestured towards the portal, a small smile on her lips. It exaggerated the features of her face, the tell tale paleness that was becoming more and more evident.