He watched Louvel with caution as he spoke, guarded, waiting for judge and jury but he found neither. Just that eternal patience, that love and acceptance that Louvel always held in his gaze. As his fist reached out, flexing that finger to press into his chest Jude did feel it, and it was harder to admit than he could voice. His head leaned into the finger as it pointed at his head, as if he had hoped the hand might brush back his dark hair, the way his mother might’ve done to soothe him. “He shouldn’t wait, he deserves to be out there being happy, in love. He tried it, and it made me a little crazy. Hell, it made him a little crazy too. She was a good, sweet woman who wanted nothing more than to make him happy, to give him a family and children. Austin loves children, he wants them and he really helped us with Augie when he was tiny. Anna leaned on him like I did, he came to live with us again for a while because it was just easier, we were studying together and spending so much time anyway. We had a spare room. He just didn’t love her enough.”
It had been a sort of bad idea, it just left them in close quarters, in tense moments and lead to their final confrontation, the last argument they had on the subject before Austin let it go with one simple phrase. “I’ll always be here, Jude. When you’re tired of hiding.” And what had Judah said? He smiled weakly at his cousin, “We fought one night, because things got… Heated and I tried to laugh it off but Austin was tired of laughing it off. It was the same argument we’d had a few times, this one was very similar to the one we’d had before Anna and I got married. He still stood beside me, with you, at the altar. He passed the rings when he could’ve held onto them, he could’ve stopped it all. You know why? I told him that night, and again the last time we argued before I moved my family back to Harper Rock.” He sighed, he’d delayed long enough. “I told him “If you love me, let me go”. I mean, I actually said it… But it wasn’t what I wanted, I didn’t want him to let go.” He felt wretched for it, but the next morning they’d woken up, slumped on the couch where they’d collapsed from exhaustion, emotionally drained.
“We got on with our lives as usual, pretending like we were able to fool ourselves for another day. Anna begged me to ask him to come with us, to get him a job at the Church, not to leave it this way. My wife was telling me to invite Austin to come along, because without him I wasn’t quite whole anymore and she was tired of watching me turn my back on what I wanted. She saw me slipping deeper into our history, Lou, burying myself in our family mysteries, she saw the bottles of wine piling up. She was afraid of losing me to something worse, she was content with us all together and tried to make her point physically when the verbal no longer worked.” He cringed visibly, his jaw tensing so that muscle jumped there. He stopped talking again, too much, he’d said too much and this was getting him nowhere. “And look at me now.”
Hey, Jude. (Louvel)
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Judah Marck
- Registered User
- Posts: 227
- Joined: 12 Apr 2016, 03:19
- CrowNet Handle: JudeTheDude
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Louvel von der Marck
- Registered User
- Posts: 247
- Joined: 08 Apr 2016, 11:41
- CrowNet Handle: Matador
Re: Hey, Jude. (Louvel)
<Louvel> It was one of those moments that he wondered if it was fair for him to try to relate to something that involved dynamics that he didn’t have anything in his own past experience to truly base off of as an understanding. He did, though, still feel everything that Judah had further expressed and oddly it choked him up as if he was witness to all of it, or some distant but present party. It was real. And now Louvel saw a full picture of what otherwise had been fragments. Anna was an amazing woman, far more so now that Judah shared what he had. It took strength to love like she had, courage too. He felt weak in comparison now that he gave it extra thought. Louvel could share many things. His socks, his meal, a laundry cycle, his sleeping space if they played their cards right and perhaps even the same address long term. But a heart? A committed one divided three ways?. Lou was quite possibly too selfish. In fact he was willing to rest on the fact he was.
“So, is it any less unfair to ask not one but two people to love you enough to let you go and leave them wanting when you feel as you do? It would be different if you didn’t love either one. That would have been fair in that case. But it wasn’t the case was it? You are where you are because you chose to be, Judah. I love you brother and no offense intended. You aren’t responsible for things that happen that are out of your control such as Anna. But when you are all in that zone you are obviously in and you watched...no had that woman ready to see it for what it was and willing to compromise and you still left Austin hanging well then you were not completely honest with yourself or her or even him. I see a couple people hurting and missing out on what you alone have the power, choice, freedom perhaps to change. The question is are you strong enough to man up? What is really stopping you now? More excuses?”
Louvel’s words packed a little punch to them and maybe the wine was kicking in too but he was hoping they would land where they needed to so that Jude would listen to them, really listen with what was at the core of it. The man didn’t need another tap on his chest for a reminder. Judah was wiser than Lou in many ways. They both knew it too. Jude just needed to take his own damn advice that he gave in counsel to his parishioners over the years. Someone had to remind him of that. Lou was rising to the occasion. Literally.
“What are you afraid of? Letting go of a few well meaning but no matter how you look at them...lies and being brave enough to live the truth. You fool no one in the end, Judah von der Marck. Especially your God.”
Louvel’s expression gathered in his face as his head shook slightly so that his mossy green orbs were forced to roll up with the dip of his head while that index finger attached to the hand holding the glass once again pointed him out.
“Even if it goes against those words that you try so hard but will never fully live up to. The very same holy and moral laws I was raised to think I had no choice but to live by. Well, newsflash, Jude, we grow up and admit it or not we all make up our minds to survive. I have my own and no one before Christ, Christ himself or after will come before them. Burn in hell I just might for it. But do you want to feel like this forever? Hmmm?” He paused for effect. “Then keep letting time pass without taking that risk. Be afraid. Run. Hide. Be tormented if it works for you but own it if you do. If Austin needs to move on then let the man know.” Louvel raised his nearly dry glass and allowed the last drop to roll towards his lips and over his tongue.”Welcome to Louvel’s law. Section four paragraph five.” Louvel was hoping he said it right and didn’t come off as the world's biggest asshole to his cousin. There was still wine left to finish.
“So, is it any less unfair to ask not one but two people to love you enough to let you go and leave them wanting when you feel as you do? It would be different if you didn’t love either one. That would have been fair in that case. But it wasn’t the case was it? You are where you are because you chose to be, Judah. I love you brother and no offense intended. You aren’t responsible for things that happen that are out of your control such as Anna. But when you are all in that zone you are obviously in and you watched...no had that woman ready to see it for what it was and willing to compromise and you still left Austin hanging well then you were not completely honest with yourself or her or even him. I see a couple people hurting and missing out on what you alone have the power, choice, freedom perhaps to change. The question is are you strong enough to man up? What is really stopping you now? More excuses?”
Louvel’s words packed a little punch to them and maybe the wine was kicking in too but he was hoping they would land where they needed to so that Jude would listen to them, really listen with what was at the core of it. The man didn’t need another tap on his chest for a reminder. Judah was wiser than Lou in many ways. They both knew it too. Jude just needed to take his own damn advice that he gave in counsel to his parishioners over the years. Someone had to remind him of that. Lou was rising to the occasion. Literally.
“What are you afraid of? Letting go of a few well meaning but no matter how you look at them...lies and being brave enough to live the truth. You fool no one in the end, Judah von der Marck. Especially your God.”
Louvel’s expression gathered in his face as his head shook slightly so that his mossy green orbs were forced to roll up with the dip of his head while that index finger attached to the hand holding the glass once again pointed him out.
“Even if it goes against those words that you try so hard but will never fully live up to. The very same holy and moral laws I was raised to think I had no choice but to live by. Well, newsflash, Jude, we grow up and admit it or not we all make up our minds to survive. I have my own and no one before Christ, Christ himself or after will come before them. Burn in hell I just might for it. But do you want to feel like this forever? Hmmm?” He paused for effect. “Then keep letting time pass without taking that risk. Be afraid. Run. Hide. Be tormented if it works for you but own it if you do. If Austin needs to move on then let the man know.” Louvel raised his nearly dry glass and allowed the last drop to roll towards his lips and over his tongue.”Welcome to Louvel’s law. Section four paragraph five.” Louvel was hoping he said it right and didn’t come off as the world's biggest asshole to his cousin. There was still wine left to finish.
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Judah Marck
- Registered User
- Posts: 227
- Joined: 12 Apr 2016, 03:19
- CrowNet Handle: JudeTheDude
Re: Hey, Jude. (Louvel)
That muscle in his jaw ticked, Jude unusually still, his tension carried along that strong profile as he listened to Louvel lay down the law, reminding him that even through the confusion he should consider himself lucky for all the love in his life. With great. love had come great loss, and suffering. Anna had been a beautiful, giving and open person. She brought light to his life, endeared herself to almost everyone she met and kept those she loved grounded. His wife had been his constant reminder not to forget the present while studying the past, she’d given him a son, an heir and now he couldn't even think himself capable enough to parent alone. Part of him just wanted to call his in-laws immediately, tell them that he was ready to be a full-time did again, forget the rest but that would be selfish. He was so close to finding out what he needed, and then he could focus on his own life again.
Louvel wasn't wrong, Jude had used his devotion to his role both within the family as The Chronicler and outside it his rule of Pastor Jude, pillar of the community as excuses. He preached that love was love, that God loved all of his children and gender was irrelevant in the great scheme of things. Was it the fact that Austin was a man that bothered him? No, not really. His confusion was born of having love in his heart for two people, for arguing with them both about whether there was space in the bed for all three too.
Outwardly he appeared to be listening, considering and keeping his emotions somewhat in check, but inside was turmoil.
Jude had tried to move on with his life, he'd tried to hold onto his memories of Anna and yet allow himself to keep living, keep loving but he’d failed. He could no longer tell himself he’d done the right thing, Louvel was cutting to the core of it. To the core of him. He’d been afraid, so afraid and full of guilt wondering if he’d loved her enough that he neglected to adhere to her wishes. She would want him and Austin to support each other, to love each other and be content if they kept her picture close. That's all. Anna would smack him if she saw how he’d behaved, how he’d dug himself into this hole. So deep he didn't know how to get out.
“You're right.”
His voice was tight with emotion, hand shaking as it lifted to grasp the bottle, pouring the last of it between their two glasses. “I should let him go, or let him know. I can't put it off forever, I can't expect that he'll know everything that's in my head.” And yet, Judah felt that Austin was completely aware of the situation. They were both 28 years old, Jude a Widower with a son and Austin had yet to find anyone else, had yet to make a serious commitment. Two men who had so much potential, so much love and no reason they shouldn't try. None except for Judah’s fears.
“What if it's too late? How do you call someone and tell them you were a fool? I can't expect him to just say it's ok, I don't want him to say it's ok. It was unfair, so unfair to everyone. If I'd just let myself go, let myself be who I was and not worried so much about what things met maybe we’d be great. We’d be together in that little house, with August and the dogs. We’d continue raising him together, the way Anna would have wanted it and **** what anyone thought. We would have known it was right…” He sighed, pushing that glass to his lips, letting the red stain them. “But I was so wrong. Wasn't I? I can tell him that, but it doesn't give us back the last four years, **** the last seven years.”
Judah rummaged in his pocket, tugging out his phone and looking for a picture, one of them from back when things were great, when the stolen moments were exciting and new. Before the promises, the questions and the answers which went unheard. They looked at ease together, comfortable and he found himself opting to send it as a message, typing in that all too familiar number that his drunken fingers would never forget. “Miss you.” Stupid sentiment, simple. He wanted to say more, to dial that number and blurt out every thought in his head until he felt empty, open to possibility but it wasn't the time.
Sent.
“Louvel von der Marck, I'm so sorry you've had to listen to this, but I'm so grateful that you get to be my older brother. You can be the wise one, because I just don't know I'm up to task anymore. I have a few months left, I can feel it, and then everything will either fall apart or into place. When we’re home I will tell you everything, I promise and maybe, just maybe we can get me back on track. You and Gregor, our G-baby.” He laughed lightly, typing another message, this time sent to their cool, distant cousin that read "We love your stupid, perfect face" and grabbed Lou, snapping a selfie while Jude stuck his lips out in a smoochy pout. He laughed, showing the picture to Lou before sending. “You two saving me, we might all be damned. Did I tell you I saw him in Milan? Before I came here? Anyway… Give me two months, two months to make or break.”
Louvel wasn't wrong, Jude had used his devotion to his role both within the family as The Chronicler and outside it his rule of Pastor Jude, pillar of the community as excuses. He preached that love was love, that God loved all of his children and gender was irrelevant in the great scheme of things. Was it the fact that Austin was a man that bothered him? No, not really. His confusion was born of having love in his heart for two people, for arguing with them both about whether there was space in the bed for all three too.
Outwardly he appeared to be listening, considering and keeping his emotions somewhat in check, but inside was turmoil.
Jude had tried to move on with his life, he'd tried to hold onto his memories of Anna and yet allow himself to keep living, keep loving but he’d failed. He could no longer tell himself he’d done the right thing, Louvel was cutting to the core of it. To the core of him. He’d been afraid, so afraid and full of guilt wondering if he’d loved her enough that he neglected to adhere to her wishes. She would want him and Austin to support each other, to love each other and be content if they kept her picture close. That's all. Anna would smack him if she saw how he’d behaved, how he’d dug himself into this hole. So deep he didn't know how to get out.
“You're right.”
His voice was tight with emotion, hand shaking as it lifted to grasp the bottle, pouring the last of it between their two glasses. “I should let him go, or let him know. I can't put it off forever, I can't expect that he'll know everything that's in my head.” And yet, Judah felt that Austin was completely aware of the situation. They were both 28 years old, Jude a Widower with a son and Austin had yet to find anyone else, had yet to make a serious commitment. Two men who had so much potential, so much love and no reason they shouldn't try. None except for Judah’s fears.
“What if it's too late? How do you call someone and tell them you were a fool? I can't expect him to just say it's ok, I don't want him to say it's ok. It was unfair, so unfair to everyone. If I'd just let myself go, let myself be who I was and not worried so much about what things met maybe we’d be great. We’d be together in that little house, with August and the dogs. We’d continue raising him together, the way Anna would have wanted it and **** what anyone thought. We would have known it was right…” He sighed, pushing that glass to his lips, letting the red stain them. “But I was so wrong. Wasn't I? I can tell him that, but it doesn't give us back the last four years, **** the last seven years.”
Judah rummaged in his pocket, tugging out his phone and looking for a picture, one of them from back when things were great, when the stolen moments were exciting and new. Before the promises, the questions and the answers which went unheard. They looked at ease together, comfortable and he found himself opting to send it as a message, typing in that all too familiar number that his drunken fingers would never forget. “Miss you.” Stupid sentiment, simple. He wanted to say more, to dial that number and blurt out every thought in his head until he felt empty, open to possibility but it wasn't the time.
Sent.
“Louvel von der Marck, I'm so sorry you've had to listen to this, but I'm so grateful that you get to be my older brother. You can be the wise one, because I just don't know I'm up to task anymore. I have a few months left, I can feel it, and then everything will either fall apart or into place. When we’re home I will tell you everything, I promise and maybe, just maybe we can get me back on track. You and Gregor, our G-baby.” He laughed lightly, typing another message, this time sent to their cool, distant cousin that read "We love your stupid, perfect face" and grabbed Lou, snapping a selfie while Jude stuck his lips out in a smoochy pout. He laughed, showing the picture to Lou before sending. “You two saving me, we might all be damned. Did I tell you I saw him in Milan? Before I came here? Anyway… Give me two months, two months to make or break.”
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Louvel von der Marck
- Registered User
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- Joined: 08 Apr 2016, 11:41
- CrowNet Handle: Matador
Re: Hey, Jude. (Louvel)
“You have nothing to apologize for. Not to me. Brother, I have my own to hand out.” Louvel's sense of being qualified at handing out relationship advice or on matters of the heart suddenly took a nosedive. “Which reminds me that I need to get on that.”
Louvel was already off his soapbox and was quick to sum up he got too carried away. Who was he to give advice? Lou was far from having his own life in order. Then and there he while he was giving his hand a final inspection he was multi-tasking and giving what he said a hell of a lot of thought now that it was out there. He could use a bit of that advice himself and it appears Judah von der Marck was poking him back in spades. Gregor. G-baby. Lou was in a picture before he could pull his head out of his own *** to realize what was happening. The smile was brief and dropped as soon as the selfie was taken.
“About all that advice. Take only what seems to apply. I think I got ahead of myself. I could blame it on the wine but I know I have my moments.” Louvel set the glass in his hand down and gave a rather humble smile to Judah. He had a head full of wisdom for everyone else but himself. “Then our cousin was in his element and likely you as well. Milan.”
Lou’s head shook briefly and the smile on his face grew a little. He wouldn’t even ask or get pulled into it. His fingers brushed down the front of his own shirt and smoothed out what was never there to begin with. He would learn eventually to keep his mouth shut. Obviously Louvel missed the mark this night and perhaps even the next one but eventually he would. Change of subject. August. He figured it was a great time to ask and he was genuinely interested. He was an amazing kid. Of course he was, he was a von der Marck and he was Judah's blood and boy.
“How is August doing?”
Lou was wondering if he would be brought around soon. Spring was in effect and soon summer. A few fishing trips perhaps, a hike or two. Any time outdoors with the two would be a great adventure. He looked forward to the weather getting warmer. It meant most of his time would be spent doing what would be needed around the grounds of the manor and the surrounding woods.
”Maybe if you can get some time free we can take him out camping. It is still cool at night but it gives you both time to plan ahead.”
Louvel winked at Judah and decided it was time to locate something for them to eat. Man could not live on wine alone. Nothing huge was likely available. Not that they needed to set up a buffet anyways. However that didn't mean that there couldn't be something to put in his stomach before he entertained the idea of having anymore wine. Pacing himself and feeling it less in the morning was a mighty good plan. Especially when he was sharing the wine with Judah.
“Hungry?” He glanced back to his cousin. “I know I need something. Not sure what there is but I intend to find it.”
Louvel was already off his soapbox and was quick to sum up he got too carried away. Who was he to give advice? Lou was far from having his own life in order. Then and there he while he was giving his hand a final inspection he was multi-tasking and giving what he said a hell of a lot of thought now that it was out there. He could use a bit of that advice himself and it appears Judah von der Marck was poking him back in spades. Gregor. G-baby. Lou was in a picture before he could pull his head out of his own *** to realize what was happening. The smile was brief and dropped as soon as the selfie was taken.
“About all that advice. Take only what seems to apply. I think I got ahead of myself. I could blame it on the wine but I know I have my moments.” Louvel set the glass in his hand down and gave a rather humble smile to Judah. He had a head full of wisdom for everyone else but himself. “Then our cousin was in his element and likely you as well. Milan.”
Lou’s head shook briefly and the smile on his face grew a little. He wouldn’t even ask or get pulled into it. His fingers brushed down the front of his own shirt and smoothed out what was never there to begin with. He would learn eventually to keep his mouth shut. Obviously Louvel missed the mark this night and perhaps even the next one but eventually he would. Change of subject. August. He figured it was a great time to ask and he was genuinely interested. He was an amazing kid. Of course he was, he was a von der Marck and he was Judah's blood and boy.
“How is August doing?”
Lou was wondering if he would be brought around soon. Spring was in effect and soon summer. A few fishing trips perhaps, a hike or two. Any time outdoors with the two would be a great adventure. He looked forward to the weather getting warmer. It meant most of his time would be spent doing what would be needed around the grounds of the manor and the surrounding woods.
”Maybe if you can get some time free we can take him out camping. It is still cool at night but it gives you both time to plan ahead.”
Louvel winked at Judah and decided it was time to locate something for them to eat. Man could not live on wine alone. Nothing huge was likely available. Not that they needed to set up a buffet anyways. However that didn't mean that there couldn't be something to put in his stomach before he entertained the idea of having anymore wine. Pacing himself and feeling it less in the morning was a mighty good plan. Especially when he was sharing the wine with Judah.
“Hungry?” He glanced back to his cousin. “I know I need something. Not sure what there is but I intend to find it.”
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Judah Marck
- Registered User
- Posts: 227
- Joined: 12 Apr 2016, 03:19
- CrowNet Handle: JudeTheDude
Re: Hey, Jude. (Louvel)
He rolled his eyes as Louvel seemed to second guess himself, nudging his shoulder once more against the man. "Hey, no, really I appreciate you listening and your advice. You're right, i'm an ***. I need to figure out how to face things that scare me, I can face almost any problem when it isn't my own, I can take on the world's burden and carry the weight while smiling all the way. When it comes to my own stuff? HECK no." He shook his head vehemently , wagging his finger in a no motion. "Not a cha-..."
His phone buzzed, a picture message sent in return. A dark haired man smiled lazily at the camera, his hair artfully mussed as if he’d just ruffled his fingertips through it before snapping the shot. He held up his arm, displaying a worn looking bracelet of fine silver with an engraved name plate that read “W.W.J.D”.
Judah felt like his heart was in his throat, staring at the screen. He wore a very similar bracelet, a sort of friendship bracelet Anna had gotten them based on a long running joke. Out loud he spoke to his cousin, pointing the phone at his own bracelet, his gold. “J isn't for Jesus, it's “What Would Jude Do?” Remember they used to say that to me all the time? To each other? After that poor choice of dressing up as Jesus for Halloween and getting my butt handed to me by the school.” The picture was right now, this was Austin, sitting on his couch, no doubt with his bass guitar on his lap or a book to read, and wearing a reminder of the bond they shared. The text with the picture said, “What IS Jude Doing?”
He smiled over at Lou, briefly self-conscious but perhaps getting too tipsy to care, Jude lifting the camera once more to snap a quick to picture, holding up the hand with own his bracelet on. “What should I say? Lou? What do I write? Jude is sitting here declaring he's an idiot to his cousin? Jude is thinking about… Oh.” He typed before the thought left him, frowning in concentration as his fingers tapped at the screen. Letting Louvel get up and start moving without him. “Jude is missing the loft. Missing the darkness, and wishing he’d let in the light. Jude is wishing he could come home. What would Jude do? Call you if he wasn’t such a punk. What would Austin do?” He jumped to his feet, unable to contain the energy coursing through him.
He pressed send and dropped the phone onto Louvel like it was a bomb to dispose of, shoving it into the man's pocket. “Now distract me until that thing buzzes, because I don't want to read the answer until we crack the next bottle of wine… When did you last see our perfectly pretentious Gregor? Yeah it was wonderful seeing him, well you know as much as it ever is. You know what he's like...” Regret was instant, he winced slightly as he said it and began to follow his cousin's lead. Jude tried to play obvious, but he noticed, he knew the way those two glanced at each other, the lingering way they touched was too familiar.
"Food? Uh, there is some bread and cheese in the basket." He shoved everything inside it, snatching it up along with the blanket and heading back towards the beautiful house they were staying in. "I bought sausages, and steaks and we have fresh salad, oh and fun things like sauerkraut! I can cook? You guard the phone and feed me wine, k? I may have also texted G-money... You should call him." They hadn't set up far from the house, he could see it just over the little rise, and didn't waste time getting there. He scampered ahead of his larger cousin, using his speed to get to the door first, opening it and barrelling inside. The man discarding the items carelessly onto the old wooden dining table, going to rummage through the fridge. "What can I tempt you with, Brother? Or do we go full beast mode on this ***** and cook everything?"
Jude laughed at himself, at his own stupid words as he began to pull items out, tossing them onto the kitchen counter. "August is great, he's getting so damn big. He's 7 this year, you know? I'm really hoping that after... Uh, ****, I mean maybe sometime later this year we can go back to living together permanently. I would like that, a lot. When we get back we can look into arranging a trip, he loves his time with Uncle Lou. You know he still wears that damn wolf tooth necklace you gave him? Like every day? Kid wears a lutheran cross and a wolf tooth... I'm not going to lie, i'm pretty proud." His boisterous laughter echoed throughout the house as he clattered and clanked pulling out pans. He poured in some oil, heating it up while seasoning a couple of steaks.
His phone buzzed, a picture message sent in return. A dark haired man smiled lazily at the camera, his hair artfully mussed as if he’d just ruffled his fingertips through it before snapping the shot. He held up his arm, displaying a worn looking bracelet of fine silver with an engraved name plate that read “W.W.J.D”.
Judah felt like his heart was in his throat, staring at the screen. He wore a very similar bracelet, a sort of friendship bracelet Anna had gotten them based on a long running joke. Out loud he spoke to his cousin, pointing the phone at his own bracelet, his gold. “J isn't for Jesus, it's “What Would Jude Do?” Remember they used to say that to me all the time? To each other? After that poor choice of dressing up as Jesus for Halloween and getting my butt handed to me by the school.” The picture was right now, this was Austin, sitting on his couch, no doubt with his bass guitar on his lap or a book to read, and wearing a reminder of the bond they shared. The text with the picture said, “What IS Jude Doing?”
He smiled over at Lou, briefly self-conscious but perhaps getting too tipsy to care, Jude lifting the camera once more to snap a quick to picture, holding up the hand with own his bracelet on. “What should I say? Lou? What do I write? Jude is sitting here declaring he's an idiot to his cousin? Jude is thinking about… Oh.” He typed before the thought left him, frowning in concentration as his fingers tapped at the screen. Letting Louvel get up and start moving without him. “Jude is missing the loft. Missing the darkness, and wishing he’d let in the light. Jude is wishing he could come home. What would Jude do? Call you if he wasn’t such a punk. What would Austin do?” He jumped to his feet, unable to contain the energy coursing through him.
He pressed send and dropped the phone onto Louvel like it was a bomb to dispose of, shoving it into the man's pocket. “Now distract me until that thing buzzes, because I don't want to read the answer until we crack the next bottle of wine… When did you last see our perfectly pretentious Gregor? Yeah it was wonderful seeing him, well you know as much as it ever is. You know what he's like...” Regret was instant, he winced slightly as he said it and began to follow his cousin's lead. Jude tried to play obvious, but he noticed, he knew the way those two glanced at each other, the lingering way they touched was too familiar.
"Food? Uh, there is some bread and cheese in the basket." He shoved everything inside it, snatching it up along with the blanket and heading back towards the beautiful house they were staying in. "I bought sausages, and steaks and we have fresh salad, oh and fun things like sauerkraut! I can cook? You guard the phone and feed me wine, k? I may have also texted G-money... You should call him." They hadn't set up far from the house, he could see it just over the little rise, and didn't waste time getting there. He scampered ahead of his larger cousin, using his speed to get to the door first, opening it and barrelling inside. The man discarding the items carelessly onto the old wooden dining table, going to rummage through the fridge. "What can I tempt you with, Brother? Or do we go full beast mode on this ***** and cook everything?"
Jude laughed at himself, at his own stupid words as he began to pull items out, tossing them onto the kitchen counter. "August is great, he's getting so damn big. He's 7 this year, you know? I'm really hoping that after... Uh, ****, I mean maybe sometime later this year we can go back to living together permanently. I would like that, a lot. When we get back we can look into arranging a trip, he loves his time with Uncle Lou. You know he still wears that damn wolf tooth necklace you gave him? Like every day? Kid wears a lutheran cross and a wolf tooth... I'm not going to lie, i'm pretty proud." His boisterous laughter echoed throughout the house as he clattered and clanked pulling out pans. He poured in some oil, heating it up while seasoning a couple of steaks.