☼ Normalising ☼ (Closed)

[Teagan (DELETED 7350)]

I made the woman happy, apparently. She sounds it anyway. I watch as she digs around in her tiny purse and produces a piece of paper and a pen. If she wanted something to rite on, I could have gotten her a pad. I always have pen and paper handy, as I like my lists. Lists help me to keep everything organised. Keep everything straight. I know what I'm doing if I have a list to follow.
"Name's Teagan."
I take the paper from her and for lack of a better place to put it right now, I shove it in my back pocket. I won't forget it's there. I'll put it somewhere more appropriate later. I'll make a post-it note to remind me to ask around. That should work. I'll remember to do it then. I'd ring around now but I'd rather ask who I know in person. It's a face to face conversation. At least I think it is.
"I may not find anything."
I feel it's only fair to warn her that my search my not turn anything up. People are funny about Relics. They're the worst kept secret but they can be like gold dust. I half suspect people are hoarding them. Keeping them locked away so that others can't use them against them. That or they could be destroying them. If I were a vampire, I'd definitely be doing that to the Sanguivore’s Bane. I don't see much use for them to keep it around. No. That's not right. I've heard rumours of vampires biting vampires but surely that's not common practice; its cannibalism. None of the vampires I know sustain themselves that way. But then all the vampires I know have paid to drink from my veins.
She doesn't immediately leave and yet I think our conversation is over. I'm not sure what she's expecting me to do or say next. Am I supposed to say something else? Was I supposed to offer her a business card and tell her to call me any time? I should add that to a list. Buy business cards. There may be a use for them. Eventually.
I scratch at my arm as I watch Clear. It's a stage name. It has to be. No-one names their child that. As I suspected, she's probably a model, or an actress. They all have to have an edge, and weird names seem to be on trend.
"Anything else?"
I stop myself from rolling my eyes. I'd of been rolling them at myself but she'd of likely thought the worst. I should have phrased that better. I should have been more polite. I should have used more words. I should have asked if there was anything else I could do for her. This salesmanship thing is hard. It requires skills I don't have. Why use nine words, when two will do? It saves time. It's efficient. Why do people feel the need to speak so much? Why do I feel the need to speak so little?

[Clear (DELETED 7068)]

Teagan. I smile over the name. It has a nice sound to it and is unfamiliar to me. I wonder what Teagan must mean and what its origins are because I think it might shed light on the mysterious woman before me. I believe she is the only one of her kind – at least, to my knowledge. I suppose the same could be said of me. In English, the word I use for my name has a standard meaning and specified connotations. Clear means transparent, light, without discolouration or defect. I found that the French name Clare means clear, and well, I rather took to this name more. My grandmother was happy with my choice, telling me that it suited my soul rather than my body, and that I should ignore my mother’s gripes. I miss my grandmother terribly, for she always had the perfect words to lift my spirits. If she were with me now, I would fear nothing and might not need this talisman at all. Though, I hear that people tell us that our loved ones never truly leave us. It would be comforting to know that that was true. For all my knowledge of spirits and the supernatural, I feel more certain that my grandmother’s spirit does not linger on this Earth. She is in a better place, she must be, and I will take comfort in knowing that over my own selfishness.

I am still smiling even after Teagan has given me adequate warning that she may not find the talisman because, again, I am not discouraged. She will try and she is kind enough to offer me the reality of the situation rather than blind me with optimism. I nod my head to her in acknowledgement and thanks, and do not falter even after her curt question. It is only natural to question my intentions when I seem intent on staying – as I am. I make the effort to look around the store and converse with her as I do so.

“I am not sure, exactly,” I say, weaving between shelves and studying their contents. “There is always so much to learn. There is always something new or undiscovered. This city is… very different from my home. We do not have as many books like this.”

By that I mean books on the diversities of cultural magic, not literature in general. I fail to make that clarification even though I anticipate that it may be needed. I do not want to condescend to her, however, so that is why I keep my comment to myself and continue to be dazzled by so many books. If she does not shoo me out, I might stay here all night.

[Teagan (DELETED 7350)]

I'm not sure if I'm relieved or more anxious when she doesn't leave. I watch as she wanders around to see what I have to offer. I need to get used to this. I need to get used to people browsing. It stresses me out slightly though as people don't look without intent and not everyone has the intent to pay. I try not to follow her every move, but it's difficult.
I wish I were more like her.
I'm not sure where that thought comes from. I'm jealous of her for absolutely no reason. No. Not no reason, it's her smile. She smiles a lot. I don't smile often. I have nothing to smile about. Not really. I have Tayden. Of course I'm thankful for him. I'm thankful of him every damn day of my life. I have my store too, now. We're finally working towards our independence, even if we've lived alone for many years now. Alone. I'm not really alone. I have Tayden, but we're alone together. It makes sense to me. Might not to anyone else.
I fidget where I stand. I need to keep my hands busy. I go back to my last list, glancing down at it. I need a distraction. I need to not watch the woman like she's a thief. Though she could be one.
"Different."
I repeat the one word that stands out to me from what she's saying. This city isn't just different, it's twisted. It's darker than most know. More dangerous. I figure she knows that since she's looking for a talisman to protect her neck. In some ways it's smart. Practical. She seems to want to learn more. Not sure these books will help. A blade would be better protection than knowledge. I can't come out and say that though. It's rude.
"Books are a start."
I shrug. I need to learn to elaborate. I need to learn to talk more. No. I need to hire someone to do that for me. I'm not going to change. Even if I wanted to. I doubt I'd ever be a chatty cathy. It's not my style. Not who I am.
"You know self-defence?"
The question comes out of no-where, I'm not even sure I planned to ask it, but I'm sizing her up again as I do. About the only lethal thing about this woman as far as I can tell is her fashion sense. Perhaps the heels could be wielded as a weapon. They could certainly do some damage. I find myself staring at her footwear wondering how quickly she could slip those off and if she'd have to hit someone with them or if she's the sort to throw them as she ran. I've seen people use shoes as weapons. You use what you can on the streets.

[Clear (DELETED 7068)]

It is becoming difficult to pretend not to notice how little Teagan talks, and I am wondering how much of that is a result of her general demeanour and how much of it is provoked by me. The clipped sentences and matter-of-fact way in which she converses could appear hostile and intolerant to ordinary folk. I am never deterred by such things; I am not shooed away by threats of violence let alone a few short words. I do not think Teagan means to be aggressive at any rate and so I feel no negativity toward her. Actually, I am wondering why she does not say much more than she does. Curious though I may be, I try not to let my gaze linger on her for too long. I have the feeling that it is rude to stare, and that it would not be appreciated. Nevertheless, my eyes strike her with all of their focus when she asks a question I am not expecting.

“Self-defence?” I am parroting back at her like a child.

In my home country, it is legally justifiable to kill in self-defence, but only in extremely limited conditions. Incidentally, while I have been the target for many acts of violence, I have never killed anyone. I have never needed to, for I am certainly capable of protecting myself and pacifying a situation before it escalates. Not only have I attended many training classes that help one to be more aware of their environment and form avoidance strategies, but there is more to me than what is apparent on the surface. Sometimes it is convenient for me to hide behind a beautiful dress and flashy smile. I can often go unnoticed, my unassuming mannerisms and appearance rarely give people cause to question who I am or what I am doing. Mostly I attract the attention of foolish little boys, and it is no difficult task to put them in a corner on time-out. I believe this might be one of those situations where I must shed my unremarkable layers and be honest with the world. I tuck a length of my hair behind my ear and proceed to pinch my earlobe.

“Yes, I am fairly capable of self-defence. Why do you ask?”

I hope she is not looking forward to a demonstration, I would not want to damage the store.

[Teagan (DELETED 7350)]

"We run classes."
I shrug as I say it. It's the truth. I could tell her that she looks like she could use a few classes but that would be rude. Not to mention it's pointless now, since she says she's fairly capable. I'm not sure what fairly capable actually means, but I take it to mean that she thinks she can defend herself. I hope she's right. I hope she isn't some delusional female that thinks a can of pepper spray or a rape alarm is going to be enough to save her if she's out on the streets after dark. Those things might work against normal people, mundane people, but they won't work against the supernatural people that stalk our streets. I think she might know that though. I can't imagine she'd be in here looking for a talisman for protection if she didn't have some clue of the kinds of dangers that are out there.
"You carry a weapon?"
I'm not really aware of the inappropriate nature of my questions. I sound like I'm gearing up to attack Clear. I asked if she could defend herself and now I'm asking if she's armed. I don't think that way though as she has nothing to fear from me. I won't even touch someone if I can help it. I prefer to keep minimal safe distance from people when I can. Having a counter between her and me helps. Having a counter between me and anyone helps.
"We sell blades."
I gesture to the display case in front of me. I probably seem like a hypocrite right now considering I questioned her motives for wanting the relic and here I am offering her something that could feasibly kill someone. The talisman is set to harm a specific sub-sect of our population though. It's a targeted item. This. These. They're more general. More lethal. But more gentle. Of course you really should train yourself in how to use them if you plan to carry something like this. I'll suggest that if she's interested and doesn't already possess adequate knowledge. They say you're more likely to harm yourself with a knife, than your opponent, but that's only if you don't know what you're doing and I don't plan on selling a blade without offering a class in the basics. That's the responsible thing to do. And that's who I am. I don't want innocent people getting harmed.

[Clear (DELETED 7068)]

Upon listening to Teagan’s offer of self-defence classes and blades, I begin to turn introspective. I suppose my name is ironic given that I am the one who chose it. I do not represent the transparent and pure sentiment that the name Clear inspires. And maybe, I did that on purpose – however unconsciously. I do not consider myself a manipulative person. I am not deceptive in a way that conspires to trick and trap people, to make them suffer for my benefit. However, my perceptions and intentions do little for my reputation. They say that reputation is a result of what you do, what you say and what others say about you. These are not things you can regulate in whole and so you will have to accept that which is outside your control, and deal with the consequences the best way you can. I can not necessarily stop Teagan from thinking of me as some dumb, defenceless female and I wonder whether I should. Sometimes it can be helpful for you to let people believe whatever it is they want to believe. I considered informing her that I am quite handy with a blade, that in fact, I have spent some time learning how to manufacture some personal items, but maybe now is not the time for that. Maybe, for now, I should keep some of my cards close to my chest.

“I see that,” I mention with a glance toward the display case. A dozen or so glittering steel blades are on exhibit like diamonds in a Jeweller’s store. I cannot remark on their quality from this range, but then, neither am I an expert on the matter. “But no, I do not carry a weapon on me.”

I was certain that when I came to Canada that weapons and firearms were prohibited items. I presume, therefore, that the weapons on display must not be applicable and more for display purposes where the intention is for the owner to do with them what they please. A reputable businesswoman would not be issued with the right to sell such things on a whim, as I imagine she would need a licence in the very least to operate a sale of a weapon. It is not the businesswoman’s responsibility if she sells a weapon replica or ornamental knife and her customers sharpen these items into weapons. I suspect that is what Teagan is trying to tell me without telling me. She wishes to sell me security without any of the fall-back should I not be particularly careful. Or, I could be completely misunderstanding her intentions and maybe she does have a licence for the sale of weapons after all. Either way, I will not question it. It is safer if I do not engage in this area of conversation.

“I would be far more interested in learning how to neutralise a threat, prevent violence and protect myself than cause injury to anyone,” I confess. “What kind of classes do you run and when do they start?”