Troy is Burning [Lorelai]

[Levi DAmico]

The question asked was ironic for several reasons, but it was asked with a purpose in mind that was solely in Levi’s character. He was the territorial sort, he was also proud and brash and made decisions without wholly thinking them through. The Italian was both the over-thinker and the under-thinker, both curses in their own design, and not something he could ever be rid of. When he’d told Eddie Cavallone to shove his proposal where the sun didn’t shine, Levi had done so out of pure, unthinking emotion. This wasn’t a calculated retort, the type that might have saved this entire situation from becoming a war, Levi had made his decision and now he was left to deal with the consequences. Eddie Cavallone could have been their Trojan Horse – he fit the part perfectly. Cavallone and Nicoletti might not have been friends, but the horseman could smile and pay favours and earn trust; he already had Nicoletti’s trust. The idiot would have welcomed him in as per usual and the smiling horseman could strike unseen and unanticipated. With Nicoletti out of the way, William and Gino could move without opposition and everything would have been smooth, uncomplicated and easy. But nothing was ever that simple in life, was it.

Levi understood Cavallone’s position all too well, and Cavallone was right not to trust William and Gino. Cavallone needed the assurance that once William was in power, they would be allies and Cavallone could retain his station and power. A marriage proposal for these purposes was not unheard of in Malavita. Gino had probably offered Levi on a silver platter to square the deal, or at least didn’t refute the offer Cavallone had made. Perhaps Levi should have seen that one coming. Gino never made small-talk and the last time they’d chatted, Gino had asked about Levi’s relationship with Lorelai and even went as far as to ask about his intentions. Maybe Gino was testing the waters, or, maybe it was nothing like that at all. Gino was a smart man, manipulative, sharp-witted and opportunistic, but he didn’t have a ******* crystal ball up his ***. Gino couldn’t see the future and maybe the man’s real talent just came from making it look like he could. Maybe the guy was lucky and unlucky and maybe plans occasionally failed, but the ****** just made it out like it had all gone swimmingly. Gino was just a charmer, a snake; he could not perfectly predict every single outcome to every plan ever put in motion. That was… inhuman.

Mincing over the details of the past, however, wouldn’t put things right in the future. As much as Levi understood that looking back could distract one from looking forward, he needed to know that his gut-reaction to tell Cavallone to stick it was in good faith. Maybe a year ago, Levi wouldn’t have said no to the proposal. It wasn’t like he would give a **** about the woman anyway; it would be just another business transaction that would cease once Cavallone had outlived his usefulness. Back then, things were different. Levi was a man without a country, without a family and without loyalty; he was living only for himself. Marriage meant nothing and a marriage formed as a means to assure somebody else’s position of power meant even less than nothing. It was not until after he had met Lorelai that things had started to change, and now that he was convinced he loved her, even a marriage that was nothing more than a peace treaty, was not worth the risk of losing her. Maybe the Italian could get Lorelai to understand the situation and still have gone through with it – that this was not a loving marriage, but a ******* imprisonment – but why bother with any of that when there was a plan B? Knowing that Lorelai was on his side would make it easier on two fronts: Levi would have the reassurance he needed that he wasn’t acting out of order, and plan B would be better placed to come to fruition too.

When Lorelai shifted on his lap, Levi tensed instinctively. He knew that worried look on her face all too well and perhaps that was a sign that this relationship they had was dysfunctional at best. Maybe he should have walked away a long time ago to spare her the agony of putting up with him, especially now he cared about her so deeply that it physically ******* hurt. Levi knew the dangers of his world, but more importantly he knew what he was capable of. As much as he wanted to believe that he could change, that things could be better, and he could stop being such a ********, maybe that just wasn’t possible. A tiger couldn’t change its stripes, and those flaws of his were so deeply imbedded into his personality that they were marked upon his soul. Perhaps even the changes he already felt in him were illusions. With all things considered, he responded to Lorelai in the way he did with any task; sacrifices were made of his pride and of his self to make sure that the desired outcome was the most likely outcome. People were just selfish, so why should love be any different? Levi wanted to make Lorelai happy, he wanted to see her smile, wanted her to feel loved because it made him happy. It might have been dysfunctional too, but, at the core of it, altruism just didn’t ******* exist. Levi could accept that and just for once he could get out of his head and look upon Lorelai, hear her words, and smile now that he knew she was with him in this.

Umber eyes searched for sincerity in those pools of turquoise, and as he searched, his hand squeezed hers in return. The declaration of love made the Italian feel a little hazy, however, and he barely noticed when both of her warming hands left the scarred paw resting on her knee and framed his grizzled jaw. His vision unfocused and refocused on the blonde as a flood of questions came crashing against his flickering consciousness. As Levi tried to latch onto one of those questions, another came and swept it away from him until he was left to settle on the last question she’d asked, just before her fingers slipped into his hair then gripped the back of his head. The Italian frowned slightly; he was a little disorientated and really, it was difficult to focus on anything productive when his thoughts centred on tugging her close and devouring those lips of hers. She may or may not have been aware of those stagnant, heavy thoughts because his eyes wandered back and forth between pools of blue, pink lips and blonde hair, and honestly Levi suspected that she probably read his mind on a frequent enough basis and just never said so. After all, he would have done it to her had he the ability, and so he expected everyone to respond in the way that was “logical”.

“What did they want me to do?” Levi repeated as if to centre his thoughts. “They wanted me to marry their daughter, make a Famiglia bond between us… to keep things sweet. But… I obviously wasn’t gonna do that. Not with you… You know, how I feel about you.”

Levi frowned, feeling like his tongue was betraying him suddenly. He might have bitten it off if he didn’t need to try and rectify the embarrassing **** he’d said.

“So… Yeah. I guess I gotta come at this from a not so sweet angle. And you don’t have to do anything. That’s not why I told you. Even if this is kinda your fault with making me fall in love with you.”

The Italian had meant that as a light-hearted joke and neglected the possibility that with Lorelai being Lorelai, she might very well believe he meant it.

[Lorelai]

His words were unexpected and Lorelai was in two minds as to how to respond. She loved the man before her all the more for complicating his life for her, but she also couldn't help the ache that spread through her heart at the thought of losing him to someone else. They wanted him to marry someone. Someone who wasn't her and she didn't know how to process that information. Arranged marriages weren't a foreign concept to her but she couldn't imagine being a part of one. The thought of being irrevocably tied to another person against your will, it was almost unthinkable. What Lorelai was conveniently forgetting, was the fact that she had almost been tied to Lyle through the bond of parenthood. Instead, the rather insecure female, began to withdraw into herself.

He said no Lorelai.
I know.
Then why are you panicking.
I'm not panicking.
Yes. Yes you are. I'm in here too woman, I know all because I see all.
*sighs* And now he's blaming me.
He is and he isn't. He's teasing you Lorelai. You probably are to blame in all honesty, you did chase the man after all, but I think he means it as a compliment to. He did after all fall for you, for us.

Lorelai was panicking. She shouldn't have been. Logic and Levi told her that she had nothing to worry about. Her alter ego was ready to step in so that Lorelai could process everything in peace but thankfully that wasn't necessary, yet.

"Marry?" she all but whispered. "They wanted you to marry someone. Someone that isn't me." She was talking but she wasn't really talking to Levi as her hands slipped from behind his neck and into her lap. Her eyes dropped as she focused on her now entwined fingers.

Should I convince him to accept the treaty?
Are you kidding me?
No.
No. No Lorelai. You do not convince the man you love to marry someone else. Ever.
But... He said it was important he agree and he didn't... because of... me.
Lorelai. Levi loves you. It would not be better for either of you if he married someone else. Do you really want that for him?
No. No of course not, but... I don't want him to be in trouble either.

"I'm sorry," she says glancing up at him through her lashes, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. "I... I was selfish. I wanted you to love me. I never meant to cause you any trouble."

The spoken words silenced her alter ego, as she didn't even know where to begin arguing against such a ridiculous apology. Was it her fault Levi was in love with her, possibly, but he was just as responsible as she was, he'd made her love him too, even if he hadn't meant to, or didn't realise it. Love was love and it wasn't supposed to be rationalised or controlled. This would have been a great starting point to argue the blonde’s stupidity and yet she remained quiet. The only one that would be able to convince her that she was worth a damn was Levi, but whether or not he would, depended on his ability to read the woman on his lap. This was after all the crux of the problem with Lorelai, she didn’t see herself clearly and didn’t think she deserved the attention she received. Where this insecurity came form was anyone’s guess, as she’d grown up in a loving household. Yes, it was true to say that her opinion was seldom sought and women were rather limited as to their roles within society but she hadn’t wanted for love.

[Levi DAmico]

The blonde was quiet for a few moments and Levi stared at her, frowning. In the state that he was in, his patience was steadily deteriorating – not that he’d ever owned a lot of patience to begin with. Levi couldn’t tell if time had stopped – because Harper Rock was pretty notorious for its weird **** – or if Lorelai was having trouble dealing with what he’d said – because Lorelai was pretty notorious for her peculiar bounds of logic – or if Levi’s perception of time was just faulty at the moment – because Levi was pretty notorious at drinking far too ******* much. When Lorelai did talk, the Italian didn’t find his patience had been rewarded. She was repeating herself, or maybe she was just talking to herself and trying to figure things out. The Italian wasn’t sure he should interrupt her at any rate, even if he was a little worried that Lorelai was pissed at him because the whole marriage had been brought up and it wasn’t him proposing to her. This led Levi into believing that scenario two was at work here, even if it would be far too convenient for him to accept that the other scenarios had had no hand in this at all. Once again the Italian employed patience, waiting for Lorelai to finish her conversation with herself and settle on a decision. Unsurprisingly, the blonde settled on believing everything was her fault, and that she’d somehow ruined everything because he’d joked about **** being her fault. Levi frowned harder and gave her side a little pinch as if it could wake her from her living nightmare.

“Quit doing that,” he growled, though there really wasn’t any menace behind it. “Quit apologising for **** that isn’t your fault. And start believing that I actually do care about you.”

While the Whisky might have dulled the Italian’s charm and thickened his Bostonian accent, it had made his tongue looser. Instead of thinking and rethinking what he was going to say, Levi now just came out with the first thought that entered his brain. There wouldn’t be any need for her to read his mind to understand those precise thought patterns for a change, and given the scrambled thoughts going on in there as it was, it certainly wouldn’t do her any good to try and see what he was thinking.

“I said no because I didn’t want to marry some random ******* woman when I’m with you. Because I have you,” Levi continued. “It just wouldn’t be right. And you know what else? Eddie’s a ******* idiot and I wouldn’t wanna be connected to that dumbass anyway. It’s fine. So don’t worry about it. I have a back-up plan… I always have a back-up plan…”

As those last words came out in a hushed tone, umber eyes swept across the room to give them real consideration – despite not knowing immediately that he might have wrecked any chance that Lorelai would have had in believing he actually loved her. The Italian was thinking about how he could possibly threaten Cavallone into surrendering if the ****** wouldn’t come to terms peacefully. Unfortunately, Levi didn’t have a lot of weight that he could throw in Cavallone’s direction and any direct threat of violence would only cause fatalities on both sides, solving nothing. Gino wouldn’t condone it and it certainly wouldn’t do them any good if Cavallone went running to Nicoletti to tell on them. It was like being back in playschool dealing with these ******* idiots. It was too late to even reason with them now, Levi had insulted both Cavallone and Foraldo and all he would be able to do was grovel – which was never going to happen – or find a way to switch the balance of power in his favour. The Wraith had come up with some dirt, having been left in the Cavallone Manor long enough to snoop through private documents and overhear conversations, but it wouldn’t be enough on its own just yet. Levi would make Shiro do some digging tomorrow and see if the hacker Shark couldn’t find something useful. It would undoubtedly be a giant pain in the ***, but such was life…

“I just… wanted you to know what was going on,” Levi said, returning his attention to the blonde. “Ya know, given that they’re trying to mess with my personal life now. You’re a part of that, so you deserve to know that kinda thing. I guess…” he murmured, umber eyes flicking away again. “I guess you deserve to know everything about everything really. If you want to, that is. I mean, I don’t wanna talk your ear off and bore ya.”

[Lorelai]

She squirmed in his lap as he pinched her and whimpered softly though he hadn't actually hurt her. Lorelai then listened as he scolded her. She knew he cared about her. That wasn't the problem. Was it? Wasn't the problem that she cared for him? That she'd wanted him? That she existed in his life and therefore complicated it? Would she have set herself on this path, had she known the outcome? The answer was yes, to them all, and Lorelai was smart enough to recognise it.

You'd of still pursued him, admit it.
I know.
So what are you sulking for?
I'm not sulking.
It looks that way. To both, him and me. Hold up... He always has a back-up plan? You need to start worrying about this one blondie.
What do you mean?
Do I really need to spell it out for you? If he always has a back-up plan, he has one for you too. Get it?
No. Levi wouldn't cheat on me. He wouldn't. He wouldn't marry someone else either. He just said. He's with me.

The internal dialogue ended there, as Lorelai had nothing more to say to herself. Her alter ego had made her point, even if she had left herself doubting. Lorelai was more sure of Levi than she had been, but now the devil on her shoulder had begun wondering if Levi did in fact have another woman waiting in the wings. Wasn't that the way of things for someone who always had a back-up plan? Or was Lorelai both plan A and plan B, only she was more complicit in the former than the latter? Thankfully this doubt stayed buried in the recesses of her mind.

"You'd... You'd really tell me everything?" she asked, hesitant hope burgeoning in her heart. "Oh Levi," she gushed, excitement replacing her earlier melancholy. "You could never bore me. I wish to know anything you are willing to share with me."

The mood, for Lorelai at least, had brightened considerably. She'd spent the longest time trying to get through to Levi and now here he was sharing with her at will and willing to tell her more if she wanted to hear it. Of course this was an offer, or perhaps an arrangement, that she couldn't begin to turn down. Getting through Levi's armour had taken considerable work and now that his walls were somewhat down she couldn't walk away. The proffered marriage be damned. Not that Lorelai would have thought of it in such quite harsh terms. She was however an expert in seeing the silver lining in almost any situation and so now here she was, in the lap of the man she loved, hearing that he was willing to complicate his life for her. He may as well have recited her poetry, for she was well and truly under his thrall. Still, her expectations were low, as he'd already dropped quite the emotional bomb on her and so to expect any further confessions that night, would likely be unreasonable on her part.

[Levi DAmico]

To her question, umber eyes fixed a frown on the blonde. In that moment his guard had shot back up – maybe he was sobering. The Vampiro’s body seemed to have a will of its own sometimes, deciding to heal a wound automatically, or delay the effects of drugs, or knock him the hell out if it felt like it. It seemed that most of the time his body was linked to his mind so strongly that even the unconscious thoughts had an effect on the direct reactions of his body. Like right now when he realised that he had walked himself straight into a landmine of his own creation. Of course Levi wanted to be as open and honest with Lorelai as possible because it might oblige her to do the same. If he was ever going to get over his paranoia, he had to learn more about her, to understand her completely. Really, it was for both of their benefit. It would do Levi a world of good to have one portion of his life that wasn’t going to blow up in his face without a moment’s notice, and of course it would do their relationship well if he wasn’t suspecting the worst of her constantly. If Levi could get his own **** together he wouldn’t be so stressed and he wouldn’t take it out on her. For all of the Italian’s want to be good to her, Levi couldn’t escape what he was. He was a monster, perhaps one cursed with Human emotions rather than the other way around. Levi was cruel, vindictive, relentless and vicious in his persecutions, but worst of all, the more he knew about his target’s intimate personal details, the better equipped he was at using their weaknesses against them, like no low was too low for him to sink to. It was for this reason that Levi’s response came out as conflicted as it did.

“Well, I could tell you anything and everything,” the Italian offered. “But you might not like what you hear, so, consider that.”

Although it was offered like a good piece of advice, a kind of ‘be careful what you wish for’ ordeal, Levi sort of suspected that Lorelai might know well enough about this scenario to not need his advice. In fact, what she probably needed was encouragement to ask more questions on account of him having scared her off in the past with every question she’d asked before. In particular, the subject of their relationship, which Levi had spent months rejecting on account that he didn’t want to be in one, yet didn’t seem to not be in one either. He never wanted to admit they were dating because once he started caring for someone, he knew where it would end. He’d get obsessed – like he was now – and he’d expect too much of people and remember what it was like to have your heart torn apart. This extreme devotion that he required would cause problems on account that his expectations were limitless, but not something he wouldn’t deliver in return. If Lorelai asked him to leap off a cliff, he would do it. If she asked him to kill someone, he would do it. If she asked him to not kill someone, he would do that too. She couldn’t force him to like it, but he would at least try, and maybe he would try to wriggle out of the need to do it in the first place, but he fully expected the same to come rolling on back to him in the reverse scenario.

Ironically, Levi had always avoided relationships because he couldn’t believe himself capable of returning anyone’s affections. His head was all about work and his heart had no place in his life, shut out to waste away in the cold because it made stupid decisions that ruined everything. Yet being hard-hearted solved nothing. Levi didn’t want to get involved in a one-sided relationship either, where he’d have a woman stressing at him on account of him never being there or never showing he cared because he wasn’t there and he didn’t care. The Italian had enough troubles in his life without piling on the demands of some bird-brained female that wanted irrational **** from him. Yet, the tables had turned. Levi was now the one chasing after Lorelai, thinking he cared more than she did about their relationship and making irrational demands of his own. Caring this much and being on the other side of his despised scenario had him breaking apart. Levi was in two-minds about everything, and this situation was no different. Although he wanted her to ask questions so they could get closer, he also wanted to shield her from how much of a ******** he was and keep her in ignorance.

If Lorelai had asked that question to him instead of quarrelling with herself, she would find the answer was different than expected. Levi did have a back-up plan to everything and a back-up plan for that too when needed, so yes, he did have an idea in mind for the possibility of him and Lorelai parting. Of course, it were the circumstances that mattered most in forming these strategies so it certainly would depend on the nature of their breaking before whichever plan could come into action. If she left him, he would chase her down and do everything in his power to make her reconsider. Or, he wouldn’t, and he would just leave. Levi had successfully managed to close himself off from the world before he had met her and if she exited his life, the Italian was confident he could do so again. Levi would most likely return to Boston then because despite his hatred for his father, he needed to be closer to the action in order to understand it, manipulate it and evade it. There was nothing keeping him in Harper Rock save for Lorelai and if she wanted to leave him, he would leave the city to her like a divorce settlement. The Italian knew how likely it was that he would be vengeful and attack her whole ******* family out of bitterness, so it was better to just cut ties and leave. Dying would solve nothing in his mind, and would only result in furthering his resentment because they were once again rejecting him and ******* up his life. Levi never wanted to be here and be this, so if he could leave, he would, and it would be better for everyone if he did.

As for him finding a new woman, that wasn’t likely to happen and he certainly had no mind to replace the blonde with anyone. Levi fully expected that if they were ever going to part it was because she was going to leave him, and probably for the love of another. So it was always on his mind that it was going to happen. Eventually Lorelai would fall in love with someone as easily as she’d fallen for him, and she’d chase that rabbit down its hole to wonderland and forsake the one she was in now. Lorelai was a dreamer and an escape artist in the Italian’s mind, fleeing from one world to the next whenever she found something she didn’t like or saw a twinkle on the horizon of a new world. There didn’t seem to be any loyalty in her save for a loyalty to herself, and she was always going to chase the better arrangement. Of course it occurred to the Italian that he might be projecting his perceptions, opinions and presumed logic onto the blonde and she really wasn’t anything like he was making out, but this was what made sense to him from what he understood about her and about what generally made sense.

The other scenario in the Italian’s mind, which was of equal possibility to the former though less considered, was the fact that Levi would drive her out of his life – however consciously. Either his abusive and controlling nature would be too much for her to handle, or the threats of Malavita would drive her off. No doubt there were already whispers in the blonde’s ear about how he was no good for her or to her, and all it would take was time for Lorelai to realise that maybe those whispers were right. Just because the Italian had back-up plans, however, did not mean he wanted to use them. Levi might have expected to have a need for them considering everything in his life had taught him that life was shitty, people were shitty, and you couldn’t rely on anything, but that didn’t mean he was looking forward to the world being as shitty as he predicted it to be. It would be nice if he could be pleasantly surprised, as a matter of fact, it would be a ******* God send. Unfortunately, God either didn’t ******* exist or he was a ******** and took a lot of pleasure in ruining the Italian’s life.

Maybe that was the other reason they called him the Leviathan. The man was a Demon, with an influence on spiritual pride and stopping deliverance, both because of his evil nature and also because he was cast out and rejected by God to be sentenced to a life of suffering. Yet, if he was suffering, then he must have cared about some things on some level and having a heart meant you were, in some way, a good person, right? Or maybe both were true and Levi truly was a Demon, a monster, sentenced to life as a mortal and reduced to these mortal sufferings. Only, then God realised that dying would be a ******* release for that monster, and so set him on this path to immortality where he could suffer forever. Or, maybe Levi was giving God too much credit, if the ******** even existed, and all of this was out of anybody’s control. And perhaps that’s why Lorelai needed to not ask him anything at all because not even Levi was certain of his own methods in the end. There were variables all over that needed to be worked into the equation and no one person ever had the right answer for everyone. Still, he couldn’t explain all that philosophical crap to Lorelai because it never really made sense once it left his mouth. Somewhere along the path from his thoughts to speech, the truth of his intentions got twisted and confused and given new meaning. Sometimes it felt better not to speak at all, but the Italian had a sneaking suspicion that if he said nothing, then nothing would be said.

“For instance,” Levi began, referring to his advice that had come just seconds ago. “I was just thinking that I’m gonna blackmail Eddie to get what we want instead. There’s no point killing him and making him a martyr and if I won’t agree to marry his daughter and he won’t agree to just fall in line, then I don’t have much of a choice… See what I mean? It’s boring and probably not what you wanna hear.”

[Lorelai]

Uh oh.
What.
I think he's right Lorelai. You may not want to know everything.
But I do.
Was you not listening? you may not like what you hear. You know what he does for a living right?
I was listening and I know what he does for a living. I think.
See?
See what?
You may not want to know every dirty little secret.
... Do you... Do you think he has many?
*laughs* Just how naive are you? I'm sure of it.
But...
No buts Lorelai. Do you really want to be reminded of the fact that you are sleeping with a killer?
Levi wouldn't...
Seriously?! Lorelai. You are not blind.

The blonde hung her head, seriously considering what she was telling herself. Considering what Levi had told her. Did she want to know everything? Her mind said yes, but her instincts said no. Self-preservation was a serious thing, but sadly it was something Lorelai had very little of. If she wanted to know Levi for who he really was, then she had to know everything; she had to be able to take the good with the bad. If you loved someone, you loved them unconditionally. Her mind told her that if Levi had secrets, important secrets, that she had to know them, else she didn't know the real him. Her conscience told her that knowing those secrets could make her look at him differently and that they were better off only imagining what he was doing for the sake of his job. Unfortunately for Lorelai, smart as she was, she didn't always think clearly.

No, Lorelai. You don't want to know.
But I do.
No you don't.
I do.
You know what Mordechai is like. You've seen his darkness. Do you remember how that made you feel?
Levi would never torture a woman like that.
Erm. I'm not so sure about that. He'd never do it in front of you, I'm sure. But if he thought it necessary? If that person came at him. I think he just might.
But he's never hurt me.
No. No, he wouldn't hurt. You have that right at least. But please. Think before you speak. Please.

Try as she might, her conscience couldn't make her see that Levi might need to withhold information to protect her. It was only natural. And then it wasn't so much keeping secrets, perhaps, as being selective in what he shared. It was impossible to share and recount every moment of ones day while away from your lover, so it was only natural to communicate only what the other really needed to know, or would find interesting. So surely him not talking business with her was acceptable; logical even.

The slender female shifted her weight and then leaned in to kiss him. She'd been in her own head a little but she was sure he wouldn't mind, as she was honestly considering everything he had to say. Unfortunately, her mind won out over her instincts, as Lorelai's logic was not the same sort of logic others had. It made sense to her, but then her upbringing was quite different to the majority of the people in Harper Rock.

"I would like to know whatever it is you wish to tell me Levi. And I will accept the consequences of not being able to unhear whatever the bad things might be." Her hands found their way back to his face, her thumbs brushing lightly over his cheeks. "I think blackmail would be quite acceptable as an option if it keeps the man alive. Death for me would never be an option I would consider." She kissed him gently on the lips. "Would you consider letting me help you, Levi?" she asked as she pulled back to look into the umber eyes she loved so much. "I might still struggle to understand how a lot of electrical appliances work but I am quite the accomplished hacker. And if you could get him to the city, I might be able to look into his mind and see any recent transgressions. I can't see everything in a person’s mind. I don't see thoughts or anything." Her fingers worked themselves back into his hair, tangling around the short dark strands as best they could. "If he's being haunted I might even be able to get information from the spirit, though I'd have to be in the same room as him then. As I would need to make contact with the entity, if there is one."

She set out all the ways in which she could help him. All the ways in which she was prepared to help him. She'd offered her services before, but he had rejected them. Now that their relationship had taken a positive step forward, it was only right that she try again, as there were only few things in this world that the blonde would not do for her man.

[Levi DAmico]

The Italian wasn’t normally this bold, this straightforward, but it wasn’t the Whisky that had made his lips looser than normal. Levi was paranoid about everything; he never felt safe, he never felt entirely certain, and he never expected things not to blow up in his face even when the stars had aligned and everything seemed to be going well. Whenever you think you might be safe talking about delicate matters, could you really be sure that the place wasn’t bugged somehow? It wasn’t just the law enforcers of the real world that Levi had to worry about after all; he had to worry about his own kind too. Out-running the authorities is like a walk in the park compared to out-running your own blood; even knowing what to anticipate won’t necessarily help you. Cops only look out for three things: men, means and motives, and while the Mafioso may judge you on the same basis, they only really need to know who’s been saying what to fasten guilt to your boots and toss you in the river. The Mob doesn’t take notes – email trails and little black books are what lead to indictments – and every man knows to watch his mouth, so getting anything conclusive on tape is like looking for a black cat in a coal cellar. The Italian hadn’t forgotten any of these basic things, what allowed Levi to be so bold was his arrogance in knowing that he had a fairly unique upper hand – plus it didn’t hurt matters that he had the assistance of a few powerful players protecting his ***.

Mafiosi relied on faith over facts. It was the value of the man convicting you that you had to worry about, not whether or not he had proof. Trust had always been and would continue to be a valuable commodity in this business. Trust could make the final say on whether you’re coming home richer or coming up a river some weeks later as a bloated corpse. People fight over everything, especially when there’s money involved. Fights break out daily on the streets between mobsters, whether it’s about a question of respect, a misplaced bottle of Scotch or a million dollars. Most of these beefs can be settled with a sit down, but not always; sometimes you go so far out to sea that there’s no way back. But just because you don’t see land doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start swimming, and if you’re smart enough, you’ll have ensured that someone with a boat will be along shortly to pull you out. Levi had made arrangements to befit his circumstances. The Patriarca crime family of Boston was a mess, and whether they wanted to admit to it openly or not, the majority knew what had to be done. Eddie Cavallone was just another made man: proud, paranoid, and too used to getting his own way to simply bow down and take the easy route. Levi couldn’t exactly blame the man, but that didn’t make him above punishment.

As unbelievable as it might have seemed, Levi rarely had any involvement in killing people. Death might have been convenient in the short-term, it might have made him feel better about the situation because the *********** was gone for good, but it didn’t really solve anything. Missing people garnered attention, it gave reasons for vengeance, and the Italian had enough people sticking their noses into his business as it was. There was a reason the man had become a Shadow; his life was secrets and lies, cloaks and daggers, manipulation and embezzlement. If someone needed to be killed, they probably weren’t worth much to begin with, and as for those people who did matter, there were better ways to get what you wanted from them rather than slitting their throats. You couldn’t bleed answers out of people – well, you could and that was a whole other avenue of manipulation – the point was, killing people wasn’t very effective in the long-run. Threatening to kill people was, and Levi made more empty threats than fulfilled ones. It was easier, and some could say it was better, to just use the threat of violence and death over the acts themselves. Your average man was pretty cowardly at the heart of it and a few choice words were the more efficient tools over baseball bats, brass knuckles and bullets.

Levi certainly wasn’t above blackmail either, but whether he was above letting Lorelai get involved in these shady dealings remained to be seen. Her offer was pretty compelling. The Wraith had already proven how different supernatural abilities could demonstrate their usefulness in these non-supernatural endeavors. Having Lorelai’s abilities in the fold was more than an upper hand; it was a steel fist that could effortlessly crush his opponents. There was just one problem, and the Italian frowned deeply whilst thinking about it, how far could it get after a little toe-dipping, how deep could one sink into those waters? Just because you’d only planned to play at the water’s edge, didn’t mean you couldn’t fall in and drown after all. Maybe it would do Lorelai some good to learn how to swim, to open her eyes to the fact that you had to become a tougher person, you had to hone your muscles, be brave and strong not just to survive, but to really live. Maybe it could help her with all her problems, give her a thicker skin and maybe come to understand why he had to be who he was. It could bring them closer together and Levi certainly wanted that. Lorelai was willing to hear him out and hear all the bad **** that went with being Levi, and the Italian had every confidence in her ability to withstand the torrent if she tried. Or maybe he was wrong and it would kill her.

Lorelai would never give herself much credit, but the Italian thought she was one of the strongest people he knew. It took a lot of guts to pull through all the pain and loss that she had been through, and surely it was the loss of Leo that was the worst of it. Levi might have come from a fucked up little world of cannibals, where blood was only important when it was a worthy tool of manipulation, but that didn’t mean he was completely heartless and insensitive as to how it must feel to lose someone you loved, cherished and adored, your own kid. Levi knew he wouldn’t understand her pain entirely; what it was like to be a woman, have a life growing in you, depending on you for everything. The hormones must have been going berserk the whole time, creating the kind of chemical love that sticks to the soul. Having that snatched away from her was more than devastating, but she was still here. Prudence taking that option away from her, bringing her into immortality, was just testament to Lorelai’s strength rather than a reason to think less of her. Prudence didn’t remove her option to run away, she just took her option of dying away. Lorelai had done the rest, she’d chosen to face the world again rather than hide in the shadows of sickness and grief. If you couldn’t give the girl credit for that, then you’re a ******* asshole.

“I know you wanna help, and I appreciate it, but… I mean, I don’t want you getting hurt because of all this ****,” Levi said, turning umber eyes on adoring blues.

Just looking into those tranquil eyes made him both more sure and more hesitant about his conviction to keep her out of it. After going through hell and finally starting to see her way out of it, could Levi really expect Lorelai to delve back in again? She was offering, sure, but that didn’t mean he had to take advantage. And he would too, Levi knew he would, and worst of all, he’d grow more and more dependent on her until they were living as a single ******* person. That wasn’t a life he wanted for her. Loving someone meant putting their needs above your own, which all logic dictates causes a stalemate of each person simultaneously wanting to do what they didn’t want to do for the sake of that other person. Lorelai wanted to help him at her own peril and Levi didn’t want her to help him so he could keep her safe. So where did that leave them? Stuck in the middle of course and both feeling rather frustrated with the other.

Levi curled his free hand around her cheek, brushing the soft pink mound with his thumb before tenderly positioning her head into the crook of his neck so he could nuzzle her like some tiny fragile bird. He liked to keep her close like this, in his arms, under his protection, shielding her from a world he was forcing their way through in the first place. It was all contradictory, and it was making his ******* head spin. Everything she saw in him was made into its ugly counterpart in his head. If she thought he was some hero, Levi knew that he was a villain. Lorelai thought she loved him because of all his strengths, but these were strengths that he didn’t necessarily see. Of course he loved her and would do anything she’d asked, but the protection thing – that was there because she needed protection. He made her whole life a dangerous place just by being in it, but it was already too late to deny his place in her life, and her place in his. He wasn’t going to take back what he said about being open and honest with her, so if she really was that willing to help, he’d have to let her make her own decision once she had all the evidence.

“Just so you know,” he murmured in a voice that muffled against her skin. “I don’t usually kill people. They have to do something pretty ******* personal before I resort to that. Eddie’s just a desperate man doing stupid things to protect himself. I ain’t gonna kill him for it. That ain’t the way I do business. But I guess you could say that other people don’t share my business strategies. Desperate, dumb people do dumb and desperate things. I can protect you from it. Or… most of it. I mean, I can’t stop you from feeling shitty about anything you might do if you’re looking to do these things for me,” Levi said, lifting his head enough to seek her turquoise eyes. “You’re not obliged to help me, you know that, right? I’d love you either way.”

[Lorelai]

He said he didn't want her getting hurt and she felt her soul sink. He was going to reject her proposal again. Once more she was going to be dismissed. She had no idea what thoughts were running through his mind or how much he admired her. She didn't consider herself strong, quite the opposite in fact; she felt weak and stupid and powerless. She could feel the rejection coming, especially when he pulled her close and nestled her so perfectly against him.

He's trying to soften the blow of what comes next.
I know.

She was in complete agreement with her other self. The self that usually argued with her. That wasn't a good sign, and yet she went willingly to him. His large hand tenderly guiding her exactly where he wanted her. What came next wasn't what she was expecting to hear. Rather than dismissing her outright he began to explain himself, explain his actions. He told her that he didn't usually kill people, and that made her inner voice chime in once again.

That means he sometimes does kill people.
I know.
And you're okay with that? That surprises me.
I'm not okay with it. I just can't change it.
But you are okay with it. Otherwise you'd leave him.
I can't leave Levi.
*sighs* You could. You just don't want to. Hence me saying you're okay with it. Which on some level you must be.

Her mind went quiet, not only because she had nothing more to say to herself, as there was no argument she could make, but because Levi wasn't rejecting her. She pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. Nervous joy shone in her own turquoise orbs and when she spoke her words were little more than a whisper, as she was frightened her words might chase away his agreement.

"I'd be honoured to help you Levi, and I know you don't expect that from me. I know I will see and learn things that cannot be unseen or unlearned, but if it helps you, it helps us and we are an us. We're a team."

She placed soft butterfly kisses along his jaw. The timid blonde wasn't stupid. She knew of the darkness that lurked in the hearts of man. She'd even seen some of it first hand. She'd been made to feel physically sick having to watch the one she loved come home covered in the blood of others. Levi had never subjected her to that. He was more considerate. Gentler. More understanding. Less controlling. He was everything she needed and she had to be able to help him. She had to make sure that she was worthy of him. She needed to be everything he deserved and more.

[Levi DAmico]

A team. The word felt foreign to the Italian because he’d never been part of one before. Levi was a capo, that meant he was in charge of people, and that was where he always preferred to be. The closest he could accept to being a partnership was his relationship with Shiro, but even then, the belligerent Italian considered himself on top of that scenario too. Shiro might have made a few suggestions and ran his mouth a lot, but he followed orders. He was the lackey, the minion and once again Levi was the leader, even when he was leading from the shadows at times. Being second-best didn’t suit the Italian’s ego and being any further away from that top spot made him fight tooth and nail to get there. Levi hated to lose and even when he was forced to ‘team up’ with others to get what he wanted, he still considered himself the top dog, the pack leader, the alpha male, but also the lone wolf. After all, every victory was his victory alone. It was always his genius that was the winning ingredient in their dastardly plan after all, and he certainly wasn’t used to people being able to outwit him. People may have been stronger, faster, better equipped at dealing with technology and hypnotizing people or whatever, but no one had his whip-smart wits. He conquered battlefields with strategies, well-placed favours, threats of violence and offers of riches; there was barely a man alive that wouldn’t take the bait. And that was why, despite his trigger-like temperament, Levi was still alive – too useful to be put to death.

Still, to be a team with Lorelai, that meant that they were equals, didn’t it? Levi’s ego wasn’t sure how to cope with that knowledge. Certainly it could concede to the fact that Levi often put his wants and needs aside for the sake of the blonde, that he was able to recognise where Lorelai had the upper hand over him, but did that make them equals? The same could be said for him, after all, and even if they were in some way equivalent partners, would that continue to be the case when they walked down the dark paths of Malavita? Levi held all the power here because this was his territory, this was the world he breathed in, soaked up and spat out day-in and day-out for over thirty years. Maybe the blonde could give him a point of view he’d never considered before – she certainly had the aptitude for getting information and looking at life in a completely unique way – but she couldn’t teach him how to suck eggs. Levi was pretty confident that he knew exactly how to handle his own people – he was one of them, after all – so if Lorelai felt better for helping him, he was confident she could still feel like she was contributing, if he let her.

“Alright, case made and accepted,” Levi said, feeling like he was indulging her at the same time as being completely and utterly frank. “Just don’t make me say I told you so, bella. If it proves too much, you can get out, but you can’t ever get out…”

The Italian paused, wondering if he should tell her exactly what he thought about her while he was gazing at those two perfect pools of crystal that were staring back just as longingly at him. Levi often gave Lorelai compliments, and while she might not have believed any of them, it never deterred him from continuing. The only thing that deterred him from opening his big mouth was thinking that his grand attempt at being flattering might turn out to be a performance of insensitivity. Levi wanted to tell her that he believed she was strong enough to push through all the **** the world could throw up, but if he said that on its own, it would be like another tissue-paper compliment, one of those things she could tug apart easily with her self-doubt. To give that praise some density, he’d have to explain exactly why it was that he thought she was strong, but doing that would dredge up her past. Nobody liked a light shone onto their darkest places. Sometimes it was easier to forget. Levi knew that Lorelai would never forget Leo, but maybe she could forget the agony of losing him if she had the time to find the peace away from it. Scratching at old wounds and making them bleed again certainly wasn’t on his agenda this life time, but he still had to say something.

“But you’re strong enough to handle it,” Levi said, his tone flexing into warmth. “So… I’m not worried. It’s like you said, we’re a team. If you ever need anything, I’m here.”

That wasn’t the best he could have done, but, Levi never gave himself too much credit in this whole love and relationship thing. It was going to be a process to fight his monstrous instincts, and likewise fight those self-sacrificing ones. There had to be balance or he’d drive himself insane. There had to be give and take with himself, as well as between them. So he couldn’t tell her exactly what he was thinking because all those ice-hard thoughts turned to slush in his mouth, diluted and luke-warm and fairly flaccid. There could have been far more elegance to his words, and it wasn’t really enough to excuse it on account of this whole thing being new to him and he lacked the experience. Levi decided that he would have to be true to his word at least, that if he was going to start down the path of darkness with Lorelai, then they would have to start now. He’d already sent the Wraith out to spy on Gino’s whereabouts, so step one was already underway. The rest involved getting Shiro to dig up some dirt on Eddie Cavallone, but with Lorelai in the game, there didn’t seem to be a point in dragging the shark back from Japan unless Lorelai was about to change her mind. Last chance to cut and run.

“I ain’t really got much time to lose with this one, so, if you’re in… are you up for starting work tonight?”

They said it was a bad idea to mix business and pleasure, but, Levi would have to learn this one for himself.

[Lorelai]

Lorelai threw her arms around his neck and hugged him as tightly as she could, which actually wasn't all that hard at all as strength wasn't an attribute she'd worked on much, either before her turning, or after.

Oh, he believes in me.
Calm down Lorelai. He may not have to breathe but you're still acting like an idiot.
I am? I am.

The blonde pulled back, her cheeks lightly flushed. Not only was he willing to accept her help, he truly meant it. He wanted her to start now. He'd made it perfectly clear that she could back out whenever she wanted to and while she didn't think she'd ever need to accept the offer, it was a comfort to have it made. To her, it meant that he truly loved and appreciated her. He wanted her help, but he wasn't willing to let her compromise herself and so had offered her a way out should she ever need it. His confidence in her made her feel warm and so incredibly happy.

"I'd love to start now," she smiled and bit gently into her lower lip as she tried to contain her excitement. "What would you like me to do tonight? He's not here is? Eddie. Does that mean you want me to try and hack into his computer?"

She was already trying to figure out what he needed from her, but it was difficult considering she had so little information to go on. Hacking was the most logical skill of hers that he would be able to put to use that night, as she'd already told him that a certain amount of proximity would be required for her to use her other talents.

You know it could take you a while to break into his system.
I know.
But if you play your cards right you won't have to move just yet.
What?
Well you can do all that with your mind Lorelai.
Yes. But wouldn't it be faster to run my programs from the laptop?
*sighs* You really don't get it do you?
Get what?
The fact that if he allowed you to, you could just lay in his arms, close your eyes, relax and do your illegal little activity in here, in the comfort of your own mind.
Oh... I suppose I could.

No-one had ever had this much faith in her before. They had accepted her company and occasionally humoured her opinion but no-one ever really wanted her help. Not with anything important like this. Not with anything that required her intelligence. Back in Hoshkosh she’d done her duties and helped with any tasks she’d been deemed physically strong enough to help with, which wasn’t much, usually they would find her the easiest task possible, which meant she was only just helping. ‘Count the bales of hay Lorelai. You can tie the string. Can you fetch drinks for everyone?’ In some ways they were being respectful of her but in other ways they were simply dismissing her for her gender. As much as Lorelai loved her home, she always knew she could do more. Be more. Help more. And now she had Levi. Now she was part of a team.