Candy Canes and Cocoa (Elliot)

[Dhara]

"I agree. It's not fair." She smiled again and watched him a little. "And it's probably pretty dang annoying I'd imagine. However, I gave my word and I won't go back on it. What's the measure of a person if they can't keep their word?" She rubbed a hand across the back of her neck and watched him. He didn't seem angry with her, just slightly annoyed.

"Sounds a lot like being human. Well except for the whole blood thing I mean." She picked at her skirt a moment, then looked up at him with a small frown. This town should be scaring her in to leaving. The friends who have disappeared, the vampires swarming around. Any sane person would leave. But then she started to wonder if she was exactly sane.

Who stayed in a town full of vampires? Who worked with them, lived with them, roamed the streets with them at night? Well apparently she did. She had plenty of money to leave. Thanks to Elliot's generosity, she had saved all the money she'd pay on rent and had a nice little cushion. So what was stopping her? She frowned faintly, giving it some thought. She honestly didn't know. Maybe the strangeness was some how more normal than travelling around the world. After all, in a town full of crazy, who'd notice one more small little human?

She realized she'd lapsed in to silence and looked up at the man. He sounded bitter and unhappy and she realized that he was at least the second person she knew who didn't like what they had become. Maybe that was normal? Maybe it was better to have some sort of life than no life at all. She thought about being pulled from the sun and the thought made her shudder. She couldn't help the sympathy she felt for him, she just hoped he couldn't see it.

"How long has it been since... since you were changed?"

[Lancaster]

Of course Elliot couldn’t see the sympathy, but he didn’t have to. He could feel it, like a humming vibration, and it had him shifting uneasily in his chair. When he complained, he didn’t do it because he wanted sympathy. He had to learn to stop complaining, because it was getting him nowhere. When there was nothing that can be done about something, one has to move on and let it go. Either that, or find a solution. No cure was forthcoming, however, so there was no solution. None bar acceptance, and moving on.

There were plenty of things that Elliot did accept without even realising it. And there were plenty of things that he loved, too. There were plenty of things that irritated him, but it was all politics. Generally, the same things that irritated him in this life were the same things that irritated him in the old one. Politics, and semantics, and stupid worldly expectations as dictated by who the **** knows. What he needed to do was ignore the petty disturbances and get on with trying to be his same old happy self.

At least Dhara didn’t push the matter. Elliot cleared his throat and shrugged his shoulders.

”Three years, give or take. It was just before Christmas, twenty-eleven,” he said. The frown remained etched into his brow. Three years. He didn’t like to think about the time. But then, what did it matter? He had eternity now, right? His mood lightened just slightly, and he turned his attention fully to Dhara.

”And what do you think about all of this? How come you’re not screaming and running for the hills?” Elliot asked. Oh, he knew there were people out there who’d find this kind of life romantic. Those who’d want it. Maybe Dhara is hoping to be turned. Maybe she wants this kind of danger and intrigue in her life. Maybe it’s inspiring for her. Elliot, as usual, didn’t judge – he was just curious as to her perspective, thirsty for knowledge, and wanting to know what it was like to step into that other person’s shoes. To try to see the world from their perspective, rather than being stuck in his.

[Dhara]

"Three years." She echoed, watching him as he talked. Three years had come and gone. Three years in which he physically did not change. He didn't grow older, his hair didn't show threads of gray. Lines would never appear on his face. She idly wondered if vampires still had to shave. Did they revert back to the way they looked the day of their turning? Questions swirled in her mind, curiosity pushing her to ask, tact keeping her quiet.

His questions gave her pause, they were ones she'd asked so many times of herself. Why did she stay? Why hadn't she fled at the first mention of vampires? Why did she keep a job, an apartment? Why was she making a life for herself here, in this little corner of Canadian crazy? But as she looked at Elliot, she knew the answers. A small smile curved her lips and she pushed her hair off her face again.

"Because I have a life here. I have a job, friends. You, Ali, Jonah, Myk." She gave a casual shrug and grinned at him. "My life here is stable, steady and it's been really great. Aside from one rather painful incident, life has been good. Why would I give that up just because all my friends are vampires? Seems kind of dumb to me. I mean, just because you are a vampire doesn't make you any less of a person."

She hoped she made sense to him It made sense to her. It's not like the vampire population were out making the streets run red with blood on a nightly basis. Life here in Harper Rock was actually very steady and quiet. Granted, she was a wanderer and she often felt the desire to pack up and travel once more. And yet she stayed, because for the first time in her young life she had friends and she wasn't willing to give them up.

[Lancaster]

The first time Elliot had met Dhara, she had appealed to him if only because in her, he saw a like soul. A wanderer. A traveller. It was why he kept the backpackers above the pub. He might wax lyrical about how it suited the pub and how it made sense. Money could be made without having to extort people, and the variety of tourists and cultures would help to bring a lively and fun atmosphere to Lancaster’s. It was all true. But mainly? Talking to the tourists and to the travellers helped to feed a restlessness constantly nagging at Elliot’s soul. He missed it, and he found it entirely strange that Dhara should stay because she enjoyed the stability. It was as if she changed in front of his eyes; she was no longer the carefree violinist he’d first given a job to. She was just another resident of Harper Rock; someone who accepted the city’s eccentricities, rather than… what?

Elliot wore his emotions on his face. It changed, morphed, as he felt the same old familiar dread. It crept into his heart and strangled it, sometimes—that he hated everything about this city. It wasn’t true, but sometimes he railed against it like a teenager rails against his or her parent, even though that parent provided for them and gave them life. If this had been his choice, he might feel differently. But he would never know what his choice would have been, had he been allowed to make it.

”You really want to settle down?” Elliot asked. She explained why, but Elliot wasn’t really sure she saw the danger that lay around every single corner. Elliot himself had never stayed in any one place because of the friends he made there. They were a part of the place, and were thus able to be left behind. Besides which, the majority of the friends he made were other backpackers or tourists. They left, too. No one ever made a big deal out of it.

”Just be careful. You might think everything is sunshine and roses but one day the rug could be ripped right out from under your feet, and your world will change. Entirely. Completely. Turned upside down with absolutely no way of making it right again. You know that’s a possibility staying here, right?” he asked, dead serious. Maybe this is what Dhara should have been afraid of, rather than any kind of fury.

[Dhara]

Settle down Two simple words in the English language who's origins had probably been lost to time. Simple, innocent, harmless little words. And yet, to Dhara, they were like ice water thrown in her face. She felt the blood drain, knew she must be pale enough that her freckles stood out. It took her a minute before she could actually answer as her mind started running in terrified little circles. She didn't settle down. She wasn't the type. Yes she had actual friends for the first time since leaving home. Yes she had a stable job. But those weren't things that could keep her. Tie her down. Of all the things Elliot had said, those two little words were the most terrifying to come out of his mouth.

"No!" The single word came out far more forcefully than she intended and she snapped her mouth shut, taking a moment to close her eyes and breathe. Just the mention of settling down made her feel trapped and suffocated. "No." She said again, much more calmly. "I don't want to settle down. I'm not ready for that. I'm just, staying put for a while." She chuckled softly and gave him a rueful smile. "Honestly, when I leave here every night, I still take a packed bag and my violin and lute with me. Some nights I feel the urge so strongly to just hop on a bus and leave." She pushed a lock of hair from her eyes and sighed softly, looking down at her hands for a moment.

There were many many more reasons to leave this place than there were to stay. She honestly couldn't explain what kept her from doing just that. Hopping on a bus or a plane. What kept her in this town where she, and other humans, were on the menu every night? What made her go to work every night and return to her apartment every morning? They were questions she often worried over and yet had no answer to. She really didn't know why she stayed here.

"I know it is. And despite how casual I appear, the thought of something like that terrifies me. No offense, of course, because I know you didn't have a choice either. Your life and your travels were stolen away and I can't imagine any thing like that happening to me. And I know the longer I stay here, the more of a chance there is for it to happen. I lost my rose colored glasses a long time ago. Long before I ever came here and I won't let them blind me to the reality of this place."

[Lancaster]

The reaction to Elliot’s words was palpable. As if the very notion of settling down was like being told she was dying. Elliot arched a brow. She denied it, vehemently, but to Elliot it certainly looked like settling down. But only Dhara could say otherwise. He had a feeling that if he asked her exactly why she stayed, she wouldn’t be able to give him a coherent answer. And to continue on the topic would be beating a dead horse. But still, he couldn’t help but beat it. Over and over and over again. And throw in some kicks, too. He was trying to get his head around it—this woman who seemed to have so much in common with his own wandering ways, and yet here she was. Sticking around. When she should run, as fast as her little legs would carry her.

”Are you intrigued by it, or something? Does the place have some kind of mysterious allure that you can’t resist?” he asked. He shook his head, as if pre-empting her answer. In case it was in the affirmative, he had to cut her off. He almost desperately had to nip it in the bud.

”Because you don’t want it. It’s not a mystery. It’s a ******* nightmare and you really should get out while you can. If you can see the reality of the place, why are you still here? Why?” Elliot asked. He’d leaned forward and there was a hard edge to his normally calming tone. He wanted to understand. So badly, he just needed to understand. To say that she had friends and a job didn’t seem like enough. When he travelled, he made friends. But all his friends were travellers like he was. They all knew they had to part at some point. It was never hard—they would always laugh and say that they might run into each other in the future, at some odd crossroads. Remember a past friendship and immediately rekindle it, drink hard into the morning in celebration.

It had already happened. He’d met Irene again. He’d killed Irene, too—brought her into this life. She had hated it. And now she was gone. It was only testament to the truth. This city was not healthy. And now that Dhara knew, he wanted to get up, then and there, and pack her bags for her. Hell, he’d even buy the bus ticket.

[Dhara]

"There will come a time..." She said it slowly, as if she were thinking even as she spoke. She knew it would happen, knew she would leave. "There will come a time when I let it all go." The way she said those words, her tone of voice, one could infer the unspoken "again" that seemed to hang in the air. Elliot had leaned forward as if to hear her better, or perhaps it was a physical response to the intensity of his words. She wasn't sure, but it didn't matter.

"I've been all over. So many places that I can hardly remember them all. I have passports filled with stamps. But this is the first time, the first place I have ever stayed any where this long. The first time I have ever made friends or had a job with an actual paycheck. The money doesn't matter. It's my friends really." She spun the silver ring on the middle finger of her right hand, looking thoughtful. "When I travel, I never stay more than a week at most. Never make friends. I come and I go and in the end it's like I was never there. No trace. It's not that I want to make history, or change some one's life. It's more that... I'm curious what a 'normal' life is like. How do people stay in one place so long? What makes them pick that place, that person, those friends. What could posses a person to choose one place, one person, one family and stay there?"

They were all valid questions, she'd left home at 16 and had never looked back. When she left... fled really, she took only what she could carry and her most precious instruments. She paid her way through the world with cash and music. No bank accounts, no credit cards, no cell phone. She stayed in hostels or slept on the street. Aside from the stamps on her passport, there was no trace of her any where since she left Australia. And some of her habits still stayed with her. She had no bank account, no debit card. Every thing was paid in cash and her cellphone, while fairly nice, was disposable. Pay as you go, with cash, once again leaving no marks. If this town made her disappear, if she ended up in some tragic situation that forced her to be dead or be a vampire, there was no one out there in the great wide world who would miss her. No one who would notice she vanished with out a trace, because, according to the great wide world, she disappeared when she was 16.

[Lancaster]

There was grimace that fled across Elliot’s face but he didn’t argue. To argue would only be to reiterate what he had already said. That this curiosity to find out what it was like to settle down could very well lead to being forced to settle down against one’s will. Maybe, underneath it all, Dhara actually liked it, staying in one place with a job and friends that weren’t fleeting, but were instead solid. Maybe it was something she wasn’t admitting to herself.

In the end, Elliot had done what he could to warn her, and tell her to leave. He could, in future, tell her I told you so if things were to go downhill, and if she didn’t actually get out like she had intended to. Maybe he wouldn’t have to use those words because maybe she’d take the change with a lot more grace than he had. Maybe she would welcome it. He could only sigh, shrug his shoulders, and fall back into the couch. The conversation was going around in circles, and maybe a change in topic was required.

”As far as I can gather it, some people don’t like change. The grow up in a functioning family with good parents with solid jobs, so they want the same. It is human nature – instinctive, even – to want to procreate. Everything else falls around that one objective. They need a safe place to live and a good job to afford to keep their children safe, to look after them. And love… I suppose love can sometimes conquer all. Love can persuade a person to do what they might not have, otherwise,” he mused out loud.

That was the one thing that kept him from losing his mind. The one thing that kept him here against all other odds. He might have left two years ago if it weren’t for Pi. And he knew that if a day came when he could not sit still, if it were to drive him insane, Pi would come with him. She would force him out of the city, and she would remain by his side.

For the time being, he stayed because he had responsibilities. Responsibilities that he had chosen, for better or for worse, so he should stop complaining. He gave Dhara another shrug, and the ghost of a lopsided smile.

[Dhara]

She returned the smile, but it was half hearted at best. Her thoughts had turned inwards at his explanation. She turned his words over in her mind, viewing them from every angle and way she could. Much like a child explored a new toy, trying to find all the possibilities. She knew "love". She knew love that made you controlling, demanding. Love made men brutal and it made women cry. Love was not something she ever wanted a part of. She also knew that lasting love was a trap. One that would suck away the very essence of what made a person a person. The heart of an individual would be absorbed, molded and melded in to something unrecognizable. Yes, she knew love, and she wanted no part of it. Not now, not ever. Crinkling her nose, she sighed faintly and brought herself back to the man in front of her. His experience with love seemed a lot different. And she had to admit that she knew enough, had seen enough of the world to know that not all love was like what she had seen as a child. Not that she was so eager to test the fact that it could be different for every one.

"Sounds like the classic 'American Dream'." She said at last, bringing her forgotten mug to her lips for a moment, then she realized the contents were cold and she set it aside on the table. "I suppose it's bound to happen to us all at some point, right? The wanderers, the gypsies, the bards. The travelers and thieves. Vagabonds and tramps. Every one settles down some how, at some point. The great question is, does it happen while you're still 'alive' in some form or another, or does it happen when they are throwing dirt on your coffin?"

It was kind of a morbid turn of questions, and she wasn't really sure where they came from, but they also didn't really require an answer. Rhetorical really, but there they were, hanging between them now. She wondered, though didn't ask, if Elliot felt that he was trapped in this life. Was there truly no way to escape what he had become?

[Lancaster]

Elliot was silent for a while. The questions were clearly rhetorical, but they were thought inducing. They weren’t thoughts or questions that Elliot would shy away from. In fact, this was the kind of conversation that he was comfortable in, even if it did require a little bearing of the soul. It wasn’t small talk. It wasn’t mindless prattle. It was something meaningful, in a way, and maybe it would help him to dislodge the knot in his own head, in his soul. He flip-flopped between emotions like a fish on a dry dock, and couldn’t quite figure out what was up or down half the time.

Sometimes, he felt restless. He felt trapped. Sometimes, all he wanted to do was pack his pack—which was now lodged at the very top of one of the cupboards at the Crypt—and skip town. Other nights, however, he was quite content. Very content, happy with his lot and the numerous distractions that he had created for himself. He liked being a local name. Sure, it brought attention to himself, signified by the fact that someone had hinted to Dhara that Lancaster of Lancaster’s was a vampire. All he could do was try to make a good name for himself. And he felt that he had, in some small way. He was proud of the place that he and Pi had created. And even now, the thought of leaving that place—of leaving any of his businesses—was emotionally painful to him. He couldn’t up and leave. He shook his head and gave a small smirk.

”Technically, I was never buried. No clods of earth in my hair,” he said, pushing his fingers through the unruly black locks as if to make a point. ”I don’t think it has to happen to everyone. No two people are the same and it’s not this inescapable fate. Like… turning twenty-one,” he said, tilting his hand to glance at the new ring, glinting prettily in the light. Even then, there was a surge of love, knowing who was wearing matching ring and wondering what she was doing now. ”You could become immortal and never settle down. For eternity. Or you could… it’s eternity. You could settle down for a hundred years and then split and travel the entire world before deciding to settle down again,” he said with a shrug, and there was optimism in his tone. He wasn’t trapped. He was as free as he had ever been. More free, even, because he did not have the constraint of time.