Welcome Home: Interlude [closed - Jonah/Cassandra]

[Cassandra]

Cassandra waved off his worry as if he were offering her a seat. She thought about pursuing one of the first two trains of thought, but he'd already moved on to other things - which was just as well, really. Sometimes she couldn't make heads or tails of what she'd been through herself, and Nox only knew what vampire-kind really needed nowadays. Jonah's direction was simple - not in a bad way, just uncomplicated. He probably WOULD do good for the freshly-turned. Cassandra, however, wasn't as steadfast in her drives. Her faith, absolutely. Her solutions, no.

She nodded thoughtfully at his announcement. Probably not giving him the response he was hoping for, but after all she'd been through, she found herself distinctly less inclined to provide people with what they sought on the surface. She was much more inclined to give them the honesty they deserved. "Is that a positive proclamation?" the words scrolled. "I've had no opportunity to converse with those of our kind who opted toward that path. It was something you felt very strongly about back then, if I recall correctly." She tilted her head curiously. "Advise me of your experiences with this, if you would." The words, again, were formal, but the expression on her face was friendly and concerned.

[Jonah]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

"It is,” Jonah said slowly. “It...changed me for a while. In ways I didn't like." He thought for a moment for how to explain what had happened to him and realized that his nails were lengthening and he was slowly unraveling the bottom of his shirt. Straightening it back out and putting his hands firmly in his pockets, he started again. "I forgot the people that I cared about that made me want to do it in the first place."

Cassandra quirked an eyebrow curiously, watching him fiddle with the bottom of his garment. "Forgot them?" the text queried. "Do you mean that you physically lost possession of their memory, or perhaps do you intend to express some variety of disconnect with their emotions and purpose?"

"The first one," he drug his nails over his scalp and gestured to one of the pews, questioning if he could sit down. "There's a...span of months I don't really remember. I kind of...came back to myself when I found myself in Solace with no knowledge of why I was there. Weaned myself off the blood and started trying to make amends after that."

Cassandra waved a hand permissively as the words processed. As he spoke, her features became reserved once again - polite and attentive, but carefully schooled on instinct. She nodded calmly when he paused. "You say you found yourself 'in Solace' afterward, but it is unclear from the stated context whether you meant a building itself or as part of the organization," scrolled the text. "Has that become a place of refuge for you as you have worked to facilitate reparations?"

He shook his head almost violently as he sat down. "No, I woke up in the building and I didn't know why I was there. I still don't know either."

There was an odd flutter in the air, a shimmer that had nothing to do with physics and everything to do with the budding telepathic part of Cassandra's mind as emotions stirred strongly within. She was silent for a beat, before her eyes narrowed slightly and she mused over the situation. "This is a curious and perplexing occurrence. None of its members could furnish you with reasoning as to your unexpected sojourn?"

"I didn't ask any of them, just left as quickly as I could,” he replied. He didn't notice the flutter as he was more withdrawn and thinking about his experiences.

Cassandra nodded, filing the information away for later digestion - something she seemed more and more adept at lately. As her mental abilities grew, she was learning to compartmentalize certain cycles of thought, mulling them through without actively paying attention. "So once you departed those premises, you set about rectifying things that you knew you had done," said the text. "Please continue, it was not my intention to deter you from your original course of narrative."
"You're fine,” he said. “I'm not really sure what else to say on that. It's something that I'm still doing, making up for those mistakes." He looked up at her and refocused, unsure of what else to say on the matter for a moment. "Some have forgiven me but others...I lost."

One of Cassandra’s pale hands briefly traced the metal ring surrounding her wrist, caressing it in thought. "I am of the unwavering belief that despite the trials our kind seem inevitably destined toward, very little is ever truly lost." She smiled sadly. "I must by needs believe so by favor of my chosen vocation, but all the same, I enjoy the benefits of trusting in the veracity of such things before ever having been required to.

"Nox could have lost much in the wake of foul Helios's temper, but she saw fit to preserve every sparkling facet of Her creation, though it remained fundamentally changed afterward." She looked up at him, the light of the tablet throwing her face into muted lines of contrast. "Do not, by haste, sever yourself from that which may still persist. Unlike our kind, some of the strongest things in our Mother's nature take longer to heal than those limited or devoid of merit."

He read her words slowly this time, unpacking the difficult to language to realize that she was attempting to offer him some form of comfort. "You're right. It just...doesn't feel that way most nights. I wasn't there for the ones I was supposed to protect and guide and they have...fallen in to shadows."

"Fallen into shadows?" Cassandra queried gently.

"In the Shadow Realm," he clarified quietly, meeting her gaze after he had read her words.

She sighed, a tiny sound in the expanse of the Sanctum. "Resulting from the threat of our beloved feedstock, or with gratitude toward our disunified and fractured, well-meaning, but arrogant brethren?" questioned the text, though the priestess thought she already knew the answer.

The pause was longer this time as he read the question back a few times, "I don't know. Neither, I think. They just...didn't want to be here anymore."

[Cassandra]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

She nodded comprehendingly. "I see." She spread her hands helplessly. "I aspire to one day have all the explanations for such occurrences, but we don't truly understand what causes some of our beloved to drift off in such ways. If you know a reason, perhaps it's best to learn from what happened, grow ever stronger, and let the unchangeable be true to its nature."

"We're not gods,” he replied, “even though some of us think that we are, we'll never know everything."

The girl smiled ruefully, an expression that shouldn't be anywhere near so comfortable on such young features. "Indeed. So are you strengthening yourself by tearing yourself down over the things which evidence themselves as immutable?" She let the mostly-rhetorical question linger on the screen for a few moments before it faded out.

"Well, when you put it like that, it doesn't make much sense." He tried to return her smile in a friendly manner. He had been told very similar things in the past by others, that he needed to simply move on and continue progressing without worrying so much about the past.

Cassandra took a seat on the carpeted floor in front of the meditation pool, a few feet in front of where the big man was sitting. She propped the tablet against one knee where he could see it, but her hands were still free to rest behind her, countering the weight of the backpack she wore. "That's not in any capacity to state that we should not make use of the past, to both cherish and mourn what came before, or that it has no hold on the present. I simply seek to elucidate that the past is a time for knowledge and reflection, while by temporal definition itself, the only time for action is the present."

He nodded slowly, agreeing with her. "And what else are you doing now? Other than gardening and healing?"

She shrugged, looking over her shoulder at the tree whose boughs reached up toward the vaulted ceiling of the sanctuary. "I have been contemplating embarkation of several distinct endeavors or opportunities toward such, though I have no verifiable conclusion as to which may bear fruit or not. I've found it troublesome to leave these walls on more than the rarest of occasions lately, but I may research an entrepreneurial endeavor of some sort, such as an online article repository or variety of e-commerce."

Her brow furrowed momentarily as a stray thought came across another bothersome piece of data on the internet. "Are you cognizant that some of our kind have commenced creating profiles on that abominable American social network? Does that not seem like a prolific request for potential Masquerade violations? Perhaps it would be of primary beneficence for me to first look into providing some sort of substitute for such things which secures our privacy in primacy..." The text ceased printing as her thoughts trailed off.

"Article repository? What kind of articles?" Depending on what it was that she was interested in doing with this particular idea, Jonah thought that his bookstore and the things that he had found there might prove beneficial to her. More words trailed across the screen and he shook his head in reply. "No, I hadn't heard about that. It does seem like it could be kind of a problem. You could...make something like that though?" Being unskilled in the art of computers and hacking and programming, he was always impressed by those that could navigate the technological side of the world.

"I am certain it is possible with enough effort and ingenui--," the text began, then flickered as her eyelids drooped for a moment. Blinking furiously, she shook her head and frowned. The screen cleared and reset. "I apologize," said the words. "I am still struggling with using this method of communication. It appears to fatigue me abruptly and without notice, and I seem to have wasted my constitution on gewgawing needlessly on about my juvenile thoughts, instead of what is concerning you." She rubbed one cheek wearily. "What else was on your mind?"

He stood almost as soon as the screen flickered and her eyes closed and he looked at her with concern as she explained what had happened. "Nothing that can't wait for another time. I've got to stop by my store soon anyway." He stepped out in to the aisle and paused for a moment, "I'm not sure if it's just reading the tablet but...you talked more plainly before, I think." She had been honest with him through much of their conversation and he hoped that his words were not taken as rude,

Cassandra thought that over for a long moment. "That is verifiable," said the tablet as she picked it up and stood again. "I will consider this information at length, perhaps it will assist with my current circumstances. Thank you." She smiled tiredly and spun one last message across its screen: "It was beneficial speaking with you. I look forward to another visit, perhaps we may converse on the finer points of business as well as some brighter notes on where we each are?" She stowed the tablet one-handedly in her backpack, and gestured to lead him toward the transport room.

"I think that I would enjoy that." He fell in step behind her and followed her to the circle before turning to look at her again. "Stay safe in the Darkness, Cass."