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Elliot might have snorted, but he didn’t. He wasn’t about to go spilling all his deepest regrets and shames to Robert. That would never happen; no one heard those but Pi, and even then Elliot was light in his bereavement. He loved Pi, and would not have her feeling guilty on his behalf. He could blame all he wanted, but he wouldn’t. Truth was, though it could all be traced back to her, she’d not been the one to kill him. She’d been the one to save his life; to have mercy, on this one single human who’d seen something that he shouldn’t have.

Maybe it was then, in that alleyway with his blood pooled around him that it had all started. Maybe it was beforehand, when the two of them had locked eyes in the middle of the bar. Some infection had taken root, and even then they were destined to belong to each other, in more ways than just sire and childe. Elliot knew that Robert had his problems with Pi, and maybe that was one of the sole reasons why it felt odd, walking along beside him now. At any second, he expected Robert to try to plant the seeds of disdain; to try to convince Elliot that Pi was no good. It wouldn’t work. And as soon as he tried, if ever he did, Elliot would leave.

Because what Robert didn’t know was that though Elliot hated violence, although he despised the way in which the politics in this city worked, underneath it all he was very good at it. Underneath it all, his secret shame? He enjoyed it. It was a half of himself that he hid away from everyone; a half that he tried even to hide from himself. He’d slowly learned, however, that it was not something that he could deny. And, if he was going to protect himself and the people he loved, it was a requirement.

Although Elliot was ultimately an optimist and chose trust over wariness, in the past few years he had developed a special kind of pessimism. The one thing he knew for certain was that things would not change, no matter what he did. To stand up against the powers in this city—those that loved violence, and using it as a consequence—would only get him killed. Over and over again, as it had done to Robert. And what use was he, dead? No, sometimes fire had to be fought with fire.

Not that he did that, either. But regardless – his own tendency toward violence, and the needs that he kept bottled up inside, were a secret that he wouldn’t easily give away. He was a ticking time bomb. He was a weapon, in and of himself. Let them believe he was weak. In the end, they’ll realise he’s anything but.

Elliot settles into his stride beside Robert. He imagined that they were heading toward some kind of hippie commune; that those who Robert took in would ultimately leave smiling as if high, spreading his good word to the city beyond. And he braced himself.

In the end, he could not deny that regardless of what Robert’s religious beliefs might be, his motivations were good, and true.

”Sure,” Elliot said, tentatively. Except that, selfishly, it was not what he wanted. It was not what he had mind. This was not why he had opened up the second floor of Lancaster’s. His shoulders hunched further forward, his fingers curling in his pockets.

”Lancaster’s isn’t a halfway house, though. Whether you foot their bills or not,” he started, and then paused. There was no way to say it, without sounding selfish. Elliot did his own charity work. He helped those out, whom he could. But sometimes, he felt that he only ever gave. To anyone. Give, give, give. He was feeling like a shell of himself, and he didn’t like it. ”Maybe I can free up some property elsewhere, set up beds. A soup kitchen. For your overflow,” Elliot said, equally as tentative.

Robert could hear it in the man's voice, and also see it in the reaction to the idea he send people to the hostel on his dime - Elliot didn't want that and wasn't keen to help the humans. Robert's smile didn't falter though as he waved a hand and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it. I have plenty of places to do that. It was just an idea, and I can see you aren't keen. I'll still send any backpackers we get over to you though, don't worry about it."

They were nearing the wilderness now, the road becoming less well maintained and more rugged and Robert couldn't help but make a face at the potholes. He'd asked the councillors a few times to get their trucks and lorries down here to relay the roads, and despite promises and assurances, it still didn't seem to have happened. It annoyed him no end, because he was quite friendly with them all and considered some of them friends. They all knew and applauded the work he did in Solace, yet none of them would pull a finger out to sort out the basics. As much as he was loathed to do it, and he was sure it was what they were waiting to happen, he was beginning to think he'd have to pay to have the roads relaid himself!

Soon, the wilderness surrounded them on two sides and Robert let out a contented sigh, his eyes closing for a moment as he took in a large breath and just enjoyed the silence from the things of man and enjoyed the nature that surrounded them. Leaves rustling above them. Birds and squirrels scampering overhead. Deer, wolves, bear and who knew what else prowling through the undergrowth. Now and again, the call of one animal or another - and as they got closer to the Sanctuary, the sound of the river flowing up from it's underground spring, into the pool and then out into the woods on it's own adventure.

"Beautiful. Isn't it?"

He sighed to Elliot.

"The peace and quiet here. This was why I chose the land I did, for the scenery and setting. Give everyone a bit of serenity in their lives. Not to mention beauty."

They took the bend in the road and there before them was the Sanctuary. It was a 4 storey, log cabin who's outer walls were made with tree trunks and then covered in moss to help it blend with the trees instead of sticking out like a sore thum as a modern structure would have done. They couldn't see it from where they were, but as they faced the building, the whole of the downstairs, right hand wall was made of green tinted glass that looked out directly over the pool and river winding off beyond. The building was surrounded by a head height - Robert was 6'3" - privet hedge and in the left hand corner was a sign that stood proud and proclaimed the building to be The Sanctuary, where all were welcome who came in peace. A gap in the centre of the hedge took you onto the grounds, which had a path that led you to the double doors on the front of the building, or if you went to the left, the herb and flower garden and vegetable patch. While if you continued on around to the back of the building, a playpark for children.

"So.... first impressions?"

Robert asked, as they neared the building.

It seems they were not far from Solace; one second they were in the city and the next they were standing in front of the entrance to what looked like some grand palatial properly. Elliot blinked; had Robert teleported them without his knowing, somehow? Or had he really been this close to this part of the city?

He had opened his mouth to comment on the beauty of the outdoors; to perhaps talk about how he missed this kind of thing. Trekking and the outdoors and climbing mountains and exploring the world and all its climes. But he hadn’t the chance to elucidate, to even answer about his general appreciation of the wilderness, even if it was rife with creatures that would do them severe harm. Not the wild beasts, but the fae.

Instead, he was asked about his first impressions of Solace. He was beginning to wonder whether this had just turned into a mission for Robert to skite about everything that he had, everything that he did. He might have said he wouldn’t preach, he might not have begun to, but did there have to be words for preaching to occur? It came across in action, too, and Robert seemed disinclined to ask Elliot anything more about himself, and more inclined only to show off his wares.

Elliot sighed and pushed his hands into his pockets.

”Looks great,” he said, and nothing more. He waited for Robert to continue; to get the tour started. The sooner it was started, the sooner it could be over. This was his purpose, after all, to bring Elliot here and show him around, so Elliot didn’t hinder the man. Just let him do what he wanted to do.

Robert stopped in his stride upon hearing the sigh and the two word response. Elliot hadn't said anything the entire walk over, there'd been no conversation or response of any sort, and now he was looking like he'd been slapped with a wet fish. Robert thought back over the things he'd said and there was nothing the man could have taken offense to. Surely. So what was up with him now?! There was only one way to find out, so he asked.

"What's wrong?"

And then waited.

Elliot didn’t like confrontation. He didn’t like drama, and though he was an honest man he didn’t like to be so bluntly honest that it clobbered the receiver over the head like a ton of bricks. He didn’t like to offend, and over the years had gotten quite talented at saying just the right things and the exact right time to make sure that everyone was happy. All of the time. It got a bit tiresome, sometimes, but it was far preferable over the alternative. As a businessman, he knew that he had to have a good reputation. He had to be the nice guy, a nice guy. And it was easy, too – because, most of the time, he didn’t feel the urge to be anything but nice.

Robert asked him what was wrong and Elliot thought about it. He knew exactly what was wrong, but how could he word it without being an asshole about it? He didn’t want to be an asshole. Robert hadn’t really done anything to deserve it. But nor could Elliot lie. It took some time to realise – because Elliot tried not to lie anyway – but he’d concluded, one night, that it was actually physically impossible for him to lie. Some weird side-effect, he supposed. Vampirism playing some joke.

”I’m not lying. It looks great. You should know, Robert, that I can’t actually lie. Ever. So you can trust that I’m only ever going to be honest with you. In saying that – you ask me what’s wrong,” Elliot pauses. He cants his head to the side as he peers around, and the thing that Robert had created.

”You should also know that I, for whatever reason, find guilt to be a rather weighty emotion. You have this charitable set-up, this massive thing that you have achieved. That you are showing to me, on the back of asking whether you could send people in need my way – I suppose, what’s wrong is that I feel like you are comparing your achievements to mine. Showing me what it is that you have done that I have not the charity to do myself. Maybe that’s not your intention. But that’s how I feel,” he said.

Robert just stared at the man and blinked, not quite believing what he was hearing. Was Elliot really so unhappy, so emo, as to think that Robert was trying to make him feel bad? That was just ridiculous, and he couldn't help but think back to how wet Elliot had always been in the beginning. He sighed softly and smiled, shaking his head as he reached out to gently rest a hand on Elliot's upper arm.

"No Elliot, that's not what I'm doing in the slightest - not on purpose."

He dropped his hand and turned his back to Solace, taking a couple of steps back towards the city.

"Come on, if this is making you uncomfortable then we won't do it. It was supposed to just be a nice idea to show you round the community centre and the facilities there in case you - or anyone you knew - wanted to use what's there. But if it's making you feel all of that, then we won't do it."

He smiled again, cocking his head back towards the city.

"So, what shall we do instead?"

And then he waited.

There was something about the way Robert laid his palm against Elliot’s arm that Elliot didn’t like. There was something about the entire situation that he didn’t like. It was the first time since the discovery of his particular curse – that he couldn’t lie – that he regretted it. Growing up, and in his life generally he chose not to lie, and thus it could have been a curse that he’d had since the very beginning, but he’d failed to notice. He hadn’t noticed when it had arrived or when it had clicked and certainly could not attribute it to anything that he had done, or that happened to him.

Only now, in this situation, did Elliot wish it were otherwise. He wished that he could have lied, could have said everything was fine and nothing was wrong; because now it would be made into a far larger deal than it needed to be, and Robert, probably through no intention of his own, was treating Elliot like some child in need of consolation.

It should have been fine. He should have brushed away Robert’s concern and told him to continue with his tour. Water under the bridge, and all that. Instead, in his mind’s eye, he imagined unsheathing his sword. He imagined doing to Robert what he had done to Doc, that one time – thrusting, skewering the man through the heart. Maybe the gut, and dislodge some of the useless organs inside. Or perhaps a dagger, right in the eye socket…

Elliot was forced to clear his throat, to close his eyes as he mentally banished the violence from his head. It was always there, always ready to unfurl at the slightest provocation. Where once Elliot’s temper might have been mild, now it was a thing that could snap without a moment’s notice. And it only seemed to worsen, when he started to get restless. He, too, took a step back – away from Robert, as if removing the other man from danger.

”Maybe not, Robert. Maybe another time – I’m obviously not feeling myself,” he said with a smile that was tinged with unintentional malice, the corners of his lips twisting in a way that Elliot could not help, and could not see to control. His hands, still in his pockets, curled into tight fists.

Robert had been watching Elliot, waiting for a response, so he saw the change in Elliot's eyes and the change in mood that flitted across his face. The throat clear was heard like a bullet in the woods, as if a hunter had spotted his prey, lined up the shot and fired. Robert watched as Elliot took a step back and then opened his eyes and looked at him with an evil looking smile. Robert's eyebrow rose, not understanding the change he saw in the man nor what had triggered it and it made him sigh.

The man who had once been peaceful and calm, the mediator and the wimp - had grown hard and let the darkness into his soul. Robert had said all along that Pi was no good for Elliot, that she would destroy the good within him. Then here, here was the proof of it in that look he was being given. She'd twisted him up on the inside, opened him up to her world, and infected him with her evil and Darkness. This man before him wasn't the Elliot he knew. That man seemed dead and all that was left was his shell, filled with the vampiric parasite. Elliot had lost his battle, and had given in and shown he was as weak as Robert had always said. But Robert wasn't one to give up that easily. So with a nod and a friendly smile, he too put his hands in his pockets and just looked at Elliot, waiting for an answer to the question he'd asked that hadn't yet been answered.

"Well?"

Elliot blinked.

He wasn’t normally a self-centred kind of guy. He didn’t normally cry woe is me and demand attention. He didn’t want to do that, now. Robert’s reaction to his denial, however, only confirmed to Elliot all the negative things that he had thus far assumed about Robert. He didn’t like to assume, either, but in this case, the odds were stacking up. Inwardly, he accused Robert of being selfish; as perhaps putting on a mask, a façade. Sure, yes, he had all these charities set up and this enormous building with all its amenities for people in need, but did Robert really care? Or was it all just for show? To make himself look better?

It was that age old question, really. Do we do nice things because we really care, or do we do nice things because it makes us feel better?

It was a dilemma that Elliot dealt with every day. He was so full of doubt, all of the time. It drove him insane, which was why he had taken a step back. He focused on his businesses and he helped those who asked for help, but he didn’t go out of his way to grovel at their feet. He’d gone to so many extremes to try to make absolutely everybody happy, to be the all-around nice guy, but it all seemed to backfire.

Every now and again he would fall into old habits. It was exactly what he was doing now. Trying to be nice – but there was a reason he didn’t talk to Robert, wasn’t there? There was a reason why he never took Robert’s side. Maybe Elliot couldn’t remember it, but it was there all the same. And he realised now that he hadn’t changed his mind.

He’d just told Robert that he wasn’t feeling himself. If a person really cared, they might ask what was wrong. Robert did not. Elliot gave a small smile and shook his head.

”Nah, Robert. I’m sorry, but I have to go. I’ll uhm… I’ll see you around,” he said. No more beating around the bush. Elliot turned on his heels; he could have tomed, but he felt like walking. He offered Robert a wave over his shoulder, and started to head back toward the city.

Robert had learned a long time ago that you didn't ask Elliot what was wrong with him, that you didn't push or pry into his business because you just got shut down every single time and then Elliot became hostile and a bigger dick than normal. You had to wait for him to open up and talk to you, to offer the information - or things went south faster than a penguin on an icy hill.

Robert watched as Elliot turned away from him and walked towards Solace, and then continued on by without stopping. He stood there stunned for a minute and then sighed. It seemed Elliot was a dick whether you pried into his business or not. Maybe he'd try again in another year, see if the man was more normal then. Though Robert wasn't going to hold his breath - even as a vampire.