Path of the Vampire forum

Leaning back with relief in her seat when Elliot informed her that his childe was fine, she gave him a warm smile and sipped her tea. But as her friend continued to press the issue over what was going on with her and Alexandrea squirmed in her seat. She knew she could trust Lancaster and she did want to talk to someone about what was bothering her but... it was complicated.

"You can... what, Elliot?" She inquired after he broke of his sentence. But he went on to offer her a shoulder and she swallowed hard, avoiding his eyes at first. But she trusted Elliot and... truth was? She was grateful he wasn't letting the matter drop. Alexandrea hadn't been able to discuss her feelings with anyone and it was driving her mad.

After taking a deep cleansing breath, Alex looked up into Elliot's face and met his eyes. "Alright. I confess. Not all is going so well for me. I'm... I've fallen in love with someone and I can't tell how he feels about me. One minute he acts like I'm his girlfriend and the next he acts like I'm a stranger. But I know... I know in my heart, that he's the only one for me. And I know I'm good for him. I understand why he has to keep me a secret, his family would never approve. I just wish that... that he would tell me how he feels about me."

If she was still human, Alexandrea would have blushed. But as even though she couldn't she still felt as if he face was burning hot. She reached for the tea pot and poured herself a refill, again avoiding looking Elliot directly in the eyes at first. Concerned about what she would see there... pity, amusement, aloofness? That wasn't how Lancaster was though. Alex knew that. Her love-life might seem trivial compared to the rest of the city's problems but Elliot would never belittle her.

"And before you ask? No, I have not told him I am in love with him. I'm a coward. I'm scared it will just drive him away and then we won't even be friends. And I can not bare the thought of him not being in my life in some way or fashion. Not everyone can see what a great man he really is... but he is. And I would feel lost without his friendship."

Holding her cup in front of her face, Alex breathed in the perfume of the tea and enjoyed the warmth the cup gave out into her cold hands. She took a small sip and then looked over the cup's brim, meeting her friend in the eyes again. Trying to find the right words to express what was exploding inside of her.

"And before you say it? Yes, he IS worth it. After being with him, I could never be with anyone else. You... have actually met him." Alexandrea looked away again. She would never say his name out-loud or even in mind speak. But a huge part of her longed to just scream from the rooftops that she was in love with Odin.

Another small sip of her tea, and Alex went on. "And it doesn't matter to me if he can never 'be mine', I just... want to be with him."

"I just wish I knew how he felt and where I stand..."

No, Elliot wouldn’t belittle Alexandrea. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t even dream of it. Once upon a time, he might have. Back when he was human and he could count his woes on the fingers of one hand—if that. Back when he was human, Elliot’s only real woe was if a guitar string broke and he didn’t have enough cash to buy new ones. He lived through his music, he meandered around the world leaving behind any attachments—because the attachments that he did create were either too flimsy to last, or were created upon the unspoken agreement that they would be fleeting. That did not diminish their importance, of course. Every attachment that Elliot had ever made were counted in the cells of his being. They made up the core of his soul, each and every one of them a thread in the fabric of his personality.

Once upon a time Elliot might have belittled Alexandrea because he had grand notions about the world. Philosophical truths that he understood and believed wholeheartedly—never did he think that he would be subject to trivial matters of the heart. Never did he pay much heed to people who were so caught up in their relationships that they failed to take notice of the beauty of the world passing them by. Once upon a time, he thought that whatever this thing called love was, that people raved about, it couldn’t possibly compare to the grandeur of what the rest of the universe had to offer.

But that was until he came to Harper Rock. Until he got turned into a goddamned vampire—and an Allurist vampire, at that. A path that chose him, he supposed, for a reason. Perhaps due to the passions latent in his soul. The vampiric blood unlocked the floodgates, and he realised just what it was to love. The entanglement with Kamikaze, that was fleeting and yet profound. The relationship with Irene that started as something innocent, but which turned into something sinister—she was human, and he craved the life that she led, the one that he no longer had. And then she almost died, and he brought her back to life. And it ruined her. It ruined them. And it wasn’t just that. He longed for Irene for all the wrong reasons. He thought it was love. In the end it was not.

And now Pi. Goddamnit, if anything ever happened to that woman—he depended on her for so much, and knew that he would not be able to live without her. He admitted love to her, over and over. But even he was still unsure what that meant. He was flailing in a quagmire of emotion that he didn’t quite understand, but which he was addicted to. Oh, finally and completely, an emotion that he could cling to, that he could find inspiration in. One that did not send him spiralling in the depths of metaphorical hell.

Whatever the case, he listens to what Alexandrea has to say with relief. Relief that she trusts him enough to open up. There is no pity or judgment as he looks down at her, but only the need to understand, and finally a proper understanding. From an outsider’s perspective, it seems kind of simple. He knew that it wasn’t as simple as he thought it could be. He wasn’t sure he had anything to compare it to, any sage words of wisdom that he could offer from his own experiences. But he could listen. And he could deduce. He shrugged his shoulders, his fingers curled around the warm mug of tea in front of him. He hadn’t touched it. He still didn’t.

”The way I see it, you have two choices. You already know what they are. You said it yourself. You’re happy just being with him—and if you can accept a little mystery as far as his own feelings are concerned, then that should be enough. But then…you wouldn’t be feeling this way if that were enough, right?” he asked. If she truly were happy, he wouldn’t have felt those tendrils of darkness, vibrating from her core like an untuned violin. He continued, without letting her answer: ”In order to gain some kind of satisfaction, a cure for the discord, you need to tell him. But just tell him… tell him in a way that makes it sound as if he has no obligation. As if it’s something that he doesn’t have to act on. Any relationship should be based on honesty, I’ve found. It’s the only way it’s going to work. And… you know what? We have eternity. I assume the guy is like us? In which case…let him go, if he wants to go. There’s no rush. There’s… so much damned time, he can always come back to you. You might say you can’t live without him, but how many people have said that in the past? And they’re still here…” he said, voice trailing. He finally lifted the mug of tea to take a mouthful; he watched Alexandrea over the rim. He wondered how serious she was. If she should lose this guy—and he didn’t inquire after the name, because Elliot was not a gossip—would Alexandrea actually do something to harm herself?

She didn’t strike him as the type. But then—how well did he actually know her?

Alexandrea didn't say anything for a long time, just stared down at her empty tea cup. She noticed Elliot's cup was still full, he hadn't taken a single sip. So she went ahead and helped herself to the last of what was left of the tea in the pot. She tried to keep her hands from trembling with fear as she drank. Lancaster was right. Alex had to tell Odin how she felt. But could she? Was she brave enough? And how would she say it in such a way that he would not feel like she expected anything? She knew it was silly... but she was terrified.

Telling someone you were in love with them was not just like telling them hello. It would be a like setting a bomb. It might go off or it might not. Alex smiled at the thought of bombs briefly, despite her trying her best to keep her nose clean? Alexandrea still enjoyed blowing things up.

But this? This was not an explosion she wanted to cause. She could just say it all casual like in passing, she supposed. And rush off before he could react. But, no. She could not just walk away after dropping a bombshell like that. She knew she would have to stay still and face the music. No matter what played out.

Finishing her tea, Alex looked back into her friend's eyes and smiled sadly. "I know you are right." She said simply. "I just have to summon up the courage and find the right words. I know... that no matter what? I'll continue. I just don't want to even think about living without O... him. In my life."

"I can take it when he is mad or when he is just busy. But if I said or did anything to drive him completely away? I'd... just... be crushed. What if it was you, Elliot? What if you had someone suddenly tell you that they were in love with you? What's the best way to say something like that to a man without making him feel like he's being put on the spot or expected to do anything?"

"And by the way? I thought I was pretty good at acting like everything was okay... how did you know I was fibbing?"

Elliot laughed. Very good question, he supposed. He was an expert at putting himself in other people’s shoes, but it was so much easier when he knew the person. When he could…feel the way they were feeling. Far easier to determine how he might react when he’s as good as in their position. He still had no idea who Alexandrea was talking about, however. She’d slipped—she’d nearly let the name go. It started with ‘O’. She claimed had met him. Elliot couldn’t recall anyone he knew with a name starting with O. Save Oria, but she was hardly a he. Might be Elliot had met the guy, but maybe once, a year or more ago. His memory wasn’t so great when it came to people and names. He was horrible at retaining that kind of information. He’d met so many people in his life, known them for only a couple of weeks. He couldn’t possibly remember everyone. He’d lost that ability.

Air blew through Elliot’s lips as his gaze rolled to the ceiling, narrowed, as he imagined himself in that kind of scenario.

”If it were me?” he shook his head, the corners of his mouth tilting into a thoughtful frown. ”I’d probably laugh, like I did just then. Because I’d think that anyone loving me was a ludicrous idea. And upon realising the person was serious, I’d probably tease them—if I didn’t feel the same way. If they were a good friend, anyway—and I doubt anyone but a good friend would admit to loving me—I wouldn’t do anything to harm the friendship. That ball would be in their court. Whether they could let it go or not. If they didn’t act strange – I’d be able to forget it ever happened,” he stopped rambling, then. He shrugged his shoulders. Yeah, that pretty much summed it up. He perked a brow, willing to comfort Alexandrea some. Willing to try to make her laugh—he figured an anecdote would be in order.

”You know Reilly, who I just mentioned? The guy hasn’t ever admitted to loving me, per se, but made it no secret he… was attracted,” Elliot smirked. ”He knows I’ve got no interest, in that way. We still manage to get along like a house on fire. But in saying that… I’m not like a lot of people. No two people are alike. To say that I’m male just like your guy doesn’t mean he’s gonna react the exact same way as me,” Elliot explained. He cleared his throat. He felt like he might be talking too much—but he did that, sometimes.

”And to answer your question…I dunno. I thought I might be imagining it at first. Seems to be a thing that’s gotten stronger lately…I seem to be able to empathise with people. A lot. Like… I can actually feel what they’re feeling. An alien feeling—like a vibe I get. Hard to explain,” he said. He might have been afraid that he’d started to sound like a New Age, woo-woo loony toon. But given the fact that he was a vampire, and half the other **** he was capable of, somehow it didn’t seem to be such a stretch.

Alexandrea's heart sank to the bottom of her shoes and she swallowed hard when Elliot said if it someone told him that they were in love with him that he would laugh. Alex loved it when Odin laughed but she would be crushed if he laughed at her after she confessed she was in love with him. Maybe she wouldn't do it after all.

But her friend kept talking and Alex started to feel better when he explained more about what he meant. And Elliot was nothing like Odin. She didn't think Odin would laugh when she told him, if she still told him that was. Whack her upside of the head and tell her to 'snap out of it' maybe... but she really didn't think he would laugh.

"I'm actually more worried he'll get mad at me than laugh at me. It's hard to explain why. You would have to really know him to understand and you only met him once, as far as I know. And you are right about no two people being alike, he's so different from you it's like comparing water and fire. But I appreciate hearing your thoughts about it. Even if you aren't anything like him, it still helps to get a guy's opinion."

She went for more tea but the pot was empty, so she set it at the edge of the table to signal to the waiter to bring more as Elliot spoke of his new, stronger, awareness about other people. She was curious and impressed. And she had also had something similar happen to her recently. She made a mental note to tell Elliot about it later on. First she wanted to know more about what he was talking about.

Leaning forward she spoke softly again; "Is it with all people or just other vampires? Could you say... tell what our waiter might be feeling when he comes back?"

Elliot was pretty certain he wouldn’t be able to help much more with Alexandrea’s dilemma. If she was certain this guy was more likely to get mad if she admitted her love to him, rather than laugh—hell, Elliot didn’t know what the hell it would be like to live in that guy’s head. Who would ever get mad at an admission of love? Sure, it’s soppy and a little indulgent, as an emotion. But it is an emotion that exists, and you’d have to be a cold-hearted, cruel beast to never have experienced it. To be mad… of all the things that could and had incited Elliot’s rage, love was never one of them. He could only shake his head.

Alexandrea seemed far more interested in this little ability Elliot had shared with her, though. He had to smirk. He’d not really talked to anyone about it. Pi, of course, but no one else. It wasn’t until tonight, with Alexandrea, that he was almost certain it was a thing—and he was quite happy to test it out on the waiter. He gave a non-committal shrug and didn’t say anything as the waiter did approach. Elliot stared at the guy. Narrowed his eyes. Probably freaked the guy out, just a little. But that didn’t stop him.

The waiter asked what they needed—Elliot didn’t respond, and assumed Alexandrea would. Instead, Elliot focused with a sense that was not sight, not really. It was as if he could hear the difference. A silent kind of sound, a vibration in the air, a discord with the usual atmosphere. Like heat waves, coming up off of cement. He cocked his head to the side, like a dog might when hearing that shrill whistle that human ears can’t hear.

Except there wasn’t really a discord. This guy was happy. The vibe Elliot got was a kind of content delirium—like he’d recently received good news, but not so recent that he was beaming with happiness. It was a vague, relaxed kind of happiness, like he knew no matter what, everything was okay. When he walked away, Elliot nodded, cocking his head at the waiter’s retreating back.

”He’s really happy. I don’t know about what. But he’s happy. Not that I have any way to prove that to you—could be lying through my teeth, far as you know,” Elliot said, grinning slightly.

”Unless you feel like playing a round of twenty questions with him when he comes back?” And why not? A little bit of light-hearted fun was a good way to distract people from their woes and anxieties.

When the waiter came back to exchange the empty tea pot with a new fresh one, Alex paid careful attention to how Elliot acted. The young human male asked then if he could get anything else for them, and not wanting her friend to shift his focus, Alexandrea touched the waiter's arm gently and asked for a serving of the egg rolls she enjoyed so much. She took a few moments to thank the man for his attention, hoping to delay his departure long enough for Elliot to get a full reading on the human.

The man was gone soon however, and Alexandrea leaned close to Elliot as he spoke, anxious to know what he had learned.

She grinned at the news and nodded her head. "I could have told ya that. I come here a lot. That guy? His wife just gave birth to a son. It's their first baby. They've been married ten years now and trying to have kids for the last five. That man... " Alex nodded in the direction the waiter had left; "Is 'OVER THE MOON'..."

Alex giggled a bit and then stopped, putting a hand on Elliot's arm. "So, it seems you have a new ability. One I'd like to learn... " That went without saying. If Alexandrea could tell what others were feeling, she might be less confused about Odin. "Any chance you can teach me how you do that? And I'll need to find someone to teach me how to play my new Harp as well, can you recommend anyone?"

Elliot shook his head. He wasn’t completely surprised. He should have been surprised—and he was more shocked at the fact that he wasn’t. But it wasn’t as if he’d just discovered something new about himself. He’d only confirmed what he thought he might have been imagining—he thought he might have been pulling emotions out of other people that they weren’t feeling in order to distract himself from his own. It had worked. Though he supposed it did bring its own nasty can of worms. Some people just really don’t like being intruded upon in such ways.

But he supposed he could be better at his job, this way. A bartender who could actually feel whatever it was his drinkers were feeling? It added a whole new dimension to lending an ear, and a word of advice. Elliot watched as the waiter disappeared back into the kitchen. He wondered what it might be like, trading places with the human. He wasn’t sure that he could give up all that he had gained, regardless of the fact that he sometimes cursed this existence with every nerve and core of his being. He turned his attention back to Alexandrea. Again, he shook his head.

”I can help you with the harp. It’s not my weapon of choice, but it’s all the same, really, when you get an ear for the music,” he said with a smirk. He’d read books about it, about this human obsession with music. It couldn’t be explained. They didn’t understand it, none of them. Not really. He counted himself among the few who could immerse himself in the music—who could hear it, clear as day even when the world was silent around him.

”The other thing? I don’t even know how I did it. Just a… slow, gradual thing, I suppose,” he said. He leaned back in his chair, his hand resting on the arms as he looked up at Alexandrea, gauging her from across the table. ”I suppose you gotta want to escape your own problems. Crave the problems of others so much just for the damned distraction,” he said with a dry kind of laugh. He shrugged his shoulder and shook his head, this time serious. ”Maybe just a strong and genuine interest in what makes other people tick. I don’t know,” he added, honestly. Because he really did care about others. It wasn’t all selfish.

"Really, Elliot? You would help me? I'd love that. We haven't spent hardly anytime together in... well, way too long. You'll have to let me repay you for the lessons, however. I insist. If not in money, perhaps with rare items?" Alex chuckled and lowered her voice. "I still have my 'bad' habit of... helping myself to things and find quite a lot of really good stuff now."

Their waiter came back with her egg rolls and she thanked him after letting him know she would like to see the take out menu, so she could place the order for her friends. She picked up one of the golden treats and took a small bite without even bothering with the dipping sauce. They were so good that they didn't need it.

"Want some? Help yourself if you do. They are very good."

Alexandrea wiped her lips with a napkin as she pondered what her friend had said about his ability to read people. She didn't doubt a word of it. Elliot had just proven he could 'see' into people, both with the waiter and with her self.

"So it's not a skill you can teach anyone then, like marksmanship." Alex grinned as she brought up guns and gave her fellow vampire a wink. It was an inside joke that only he could possibly get. "Guess I'll either find a way to pick it up on my own then or do without. But it sure would come in handy right now."

Her eyes widened slightly as the thought occurred to her that maybe she could get Elliot to met with Odin and read him for her. She dismissed the notion immediately. Odin would never forgive an intrusion like that and Alex didn't have it in her to lie to him. And that was when she knew. She couldn't use whatever ability Elliot had on Odin, even if she did have it. He would feel it was a violation. And she couldn't hide it from him if she did, she had promised him she wouldn't keep secrets from him anymore.

Oh. Crap. Alex thought to herself and closed her eyes, fear gripping her heart again. She really DID have to tell hm she was in love with him. If he guessed or found out some other way? Then he really would be mad...

"Have you met Orin yet, Elliot? The mall mascot?"

Elliot shook his head. Repayment wouldn’t be necessary. Between three businesses, he didn’t really have a lot of time on his hands—but lessons were a part of Curlew’s services. He’d find a slot and key Alexandrea in. She’d have hours designated to her, hours that he wouldn’t plan anything else in. He would make time for a friend. And with three businesses that really were doing well, he really had no need of payment. He didn’t have many close friends. He had a lot of acquaintances, but not many people who asked too much of him. The payment that Alexandrea could give him would be the pleasure of helping her out.

As Alexandrea offered food, Elliot again shook his head and waved his hand dismissively. Why? He wasn’t too sure. Maybe he was a little anxious—he drank a lot, but he didn’t consume much food. He hardly knew any other allurists, much less spent time with them. Everyone else whose company he kept could not eat, and he thought it slightly insensitive to eat while around them. He could not remember the last time he’d eaten actual food. It was still a habitual thing, that he would think of hunger when focusing on human food, though human food no longer inspired hunger in him. But he did realise, in that moment, that he was hungry. And only for the blood of Pi. He’d have to go seek her out, soon—and if not, he knew she’d meet him in their room, as they always did, before sleeping for the day.

Elliot banished his desires from his mind, perking a brow as Alexandrea continued to talk. He remembered that now—she did like to talk. Asking questions, before he’d had a chance to answer her last. He had to remember everything she said, and slip in during a pause and try to answer all the questions as he recalled them.

He couldn’t help but smile, those waves of emotion hitting him from across the table. First a giddy hope, followed quickly by a violent fear. If only he could read people’s thoughts, too, and then he’d be a veritable psychic.

”No, nothing like Marksmanship,” he said with a laugh, ”And I’m guessing you just realised you probably shouldn’t use it on your beloved anyway, because that would be cheating, right?” he asked. He then quickly shook his head; ”And no. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Thought only sports teams had mascots, not malls,” he said, glancing around as if he might catch sight of this elusive ‘Orin’, assuming he must be over Elliot’s shoulders for the topic to come up so randomly.