Distressed Intent

[Cristiana]

Tonight was great. I got a brillant little idea hatching in the back of my mind. Party A meet Party B. It went splendid! I gave them time, even introduced her sire, who I just happened to call to come join us. I think, now I can't say for sure just yet, that everyone liked everyone else. At least party a and b. It turned out to be a lovely night even if my other plans fell through. Sometimes things happen in the oddest ways.

I wonder how he is doing. Maybe tomorrow...

[Cristiana]

In just one day everything can become flip flopped, turned upside down. It only takes one day for friends to walk away from each other, for people who are closer then friends to turn their backs on you and for one to step out from the mess and show themselves for what they are.

This night has been one of the strangest nights so far. If... only if.. We shall see.

[Cristiana]

How did it come to this?

I think it's time I came clean about things, about everything.

......................... I need to get it off my chest.

So soon they will find out how horrible of a person I have been and can be.
I don't expect any forgiveness after this, no one could. I should just start looking forward to the Shadow Realm, it will be visited very soon - shockingly not by my own hand this time.

[Cristiana]

...so I came clean and lived. A sore backside, but at least I had come clean.

Nun status has been dropped. I finally started to date someone again. Him and I have been friends for as long as I can think back.

Eggroll tells me we need 2 more places. I just bought a new one! This apartment was made a little on the feminine side. Hopefully I can fill it soon, three down!

[Cristiana]

In this desert
in darkness

The pen fell just a little, halted in her writing; she tapped the rounded end to her lip.

Trying to find the words, or run from my own thoughts, to tell the sacred scars. What have I done? I didn’t even know or notice when he bit me, the difference in the bite. The way we shared blood that night, I am not going to argue, I didn’t know it was possible. There is so much anger, so much it’s drawn from me. Stolen like a prized possession and I am left cold and calm without the blanket of anger to warm me.

I will resolve this. I will resolve anything. There is only so much I can do to help.

And in the back of my mind, there is still that itch that can’t be scratched, the dire need unquenched. A dream once, or nightmare, that went unsolved. Now ….. Fleeting away on the sails of memories.

[Cristiana]

I should have listened when I had the chance. He was right, he is always right. I never listen and now I pay the price for it.