Gemütlichkeit [Leonie]

[Alaric von der Marck]

Alaric’s brow arched as Leonie reacted. Surprised – which meant she didn’t have to answer the question. The baby had not been planned, and Alaric was not aware of the frown that turned the corners of his lips. It was a frown Leonie would have seen often. The one he wore when she wore something a little too revealing, the one he wore when someone swore in public, or when the noise of the outside world got a little too loud – if a car backfired, if a television was too loud. When good manners were ignored. It was a frown given when his traditional sensibilities were questioned or defied, denied as old and stuffy.

Was this a regular occurrence, in this day and age? That women should become pregnant without plan, before marriage? Was this something else that he would have to accept? There was a small voice in the back of his head that asked him why he didn’t take advantage of modernity, then… but no. No. Others could do what they liked, but Alaric von der Marck would never sleep with a woman just because he could. Anyway, they were focusing on Leonie. Who seemed… well…

The elder blinked as he watched, waiting for his descendant’s reaction to run its course. There was plenty of swearing, before she came back to him, asking him questions he couldn’t rightly know the answers to. Not completely. His head slanted sideways, sharp eyes moving to Leonie’s hand as it sat over her abdomen.

”It is there,” he said, which he realised was not much of an answer. ”It is barely grown, yet. The heartbeat is… it is…” he felt he lacked the words for how to describe it. ”...like the flutter of a butterfly wing. Soft, fast. It is safe, here,” he said. In this home, of course it would be safe. The baby, and its mother, too. There’d be no talk of turning, no. Alaric could not even imagine would happen to a barely grown human baby if its mother, its vessel, was subjected to the vicious, violent magical blood of a vampire, consumed.

”Why are you afraid? You do not seem pleased. Are you not happy?” he asked. It was a possibility, of course, that a child was not something that Leonie wanted. Though, seeing how she had been with Giselle, Alaric had no doubt that she would do the job perfectly. He could see that the woman was fretting; still close enough, he leaned forward and reached out to take her warm hand in his cold one, fingers smoothing over her knuckles, encouraging her to release the tension.

[Leonie von der Marck]

The Lioness kept her gaze steady while trying to navigate the panicked jumble in her brain, though the frown registered somewhere in the back of her head as something amusing, something that would normally have her giggling to herself even as she tried to either educate him about the modern standards or adjust her own to his comfort levels. She could almost hear what he was thinking, based on that grim look alone and it was nearly enough to calm her. But babies were not punishments for sex and she would not waiver in her stance on this.

Babies. ****.

She swallowed hard again, nodding as he spoke. The relief flooding her was palpable, a strange new feeling of worry taking over, making her wish like hell she could feel it for herself. Some tangible confirmation, even though her rational mind knew he was likely the far better detector than any test could possibly be. The internal debate, the second guessing and doubt had already begun in earnest, though, and Leonie had a sneaking suspicion it would take a lot longer for her to fully accept such a revelation as that.

“I am... in disbelief,” she finally said. “I’m scared because... of me. You know I still can’t control the. Um... the fire and the other stuff,” she continued quietly. “We want kids... definitely. I’m happy about that part. Its just... sooner than planned... and... and the out of control abilities... that was something I wanted to talk with you about, before... before... well. Before this happened,” she said, swallowing again. “That’s what I mean by safe... is it safe, from me. As for healthy... well. There’s all kinds of stuff now women are supposed to avoid once p - pregnant... and I didn’t know, so I haven’t been...”

She accepted his hand, cool in her own and with it came a welcome rush of relief. Somehow, with that simple, kind touch, she could almost believe everything would be okay. Almost. She let out a shaky breath, and drew in one more before she cleared her throat. “Its... well. Lou will be really happy... at least... I think so. I am... or I will be once it sinks in. Its just... a massive shock to hear something like this from someone else... takes some time...” She was rambling, she knew, and finally left off before she offered Alaric a wobbly smile. "So much happened so fast. Its hard to wrap my head around it."

[Alaric von der Marck]

Everything was fast in this day and age. Everyone always seemed to be in such a hurry – though marriage so soon after the two had started seeing each other wasn’t a shock to Alaric. In his time, marriage was rarely a thing of love. It was something decided by one’s parents, and there wasn’t too much time they’d spend together before they were married. There definitely would be no babies before marriage, however. That always came afterwards. That Leonie and Louvel weren’t trying, either – the hint, too, that there’d been activities that could have been harmful to the foetus, well. Alaric held his tongue as far as judgment was concerned. A scolding now would do no good. What’s done was done.

”What I know of mothers is that they are fiercely protective of their young,” he said. ”It does not matter that you do not have control. It will be instinct to protect your baby, and I will think that will extend to your abilities. You have gotten better with them. This child, it might be what helps you. Your need to protect it will force your abilities into submission,” he said. That was often the case when teaching others dangerous things. They were able to curb the danger when they knew something important was at stake.

”I am sorry. I should not have said?” he asked. After his antics, however, he would have had to fess up. If he had been more discreet – next time, if there was a next time, if something could be deemed sensitive news he would keep it to himself.

”It is a good thing. It will be a good. I assume that sexual intercourse before marriage is common…?” he asked. It had been quite some time since Alaric had engaged in intercourse with a woman – even before his death. He’d always thought it improper, and no woman he had ever met was one he wished to marry – none he wished to burden with immortality, which is what he would have had to have done. If he loved someone that much, he wouldn’t have been able to watch them die.

[Leonie von der Marck]

The Lioness visibly calmed as Alaric spoke the soothing words she needed to hear. She wasn’t going to harm the baby; it was all she needed to know. The rest could be handled easily enough; she could refrain and stuff the abilities back down - somehow - until a time when it was safer and focus on taking care of herself. She would work to avoid the things that triggered those abilities. She would have some research to do on the more practical matters, once she could think clearly, but she already knew the basics – no more alcohol, no sushi, no soft cheeses, limited caffeine, more sleep – the list was likely quite a bit longer but her mind was whirring as she tried to remember if there was anything else she knew as offhand tidbits picked up from her sister and friends who’d walked this path before her.

“Don’t be,” she replied softly with a shake to her head. “It’s a shocking thing to hear from anyone. Something like this, its better to know sooner than later. There are so many things to avoid these days… a lot of food isn’t safe, alcohol, all kinds of things that I’m going to have to figure out. The sooner those things are cut out, the better…” The stunned feeling wasn’t going away, and she doubted it would any time soon, she realized, as she continued to ramble. She curled up a bit, still hanging onto his hand. “Thank you for telling me… and reassuring me.”

She breathed out a long sigh, trying to center herself and find some sort of calm again as he reassured her further, that all would be well, though the next bit almost had her choking. She recovered before her look could so much as change as she thought, again, about the surreal feeling of speaking with someone centuries older than she, with far more experience that she could ever hope to gain, launching into a conversation about the birds and the bees. Someone who seemed more a father to her than her own had ever been. She cleared her throat, trying to consider where to begin answering that.

“Well… yeah. People don’t wait for marriage much anymore unless they’re ultra-religious or have a strong desire to, and all but a small handful of people, in the scheme of things, are okay with that. And one thing I’ve learned, even the ultra-religious ones break that rule far more often than they would ever admit. I mean, how else do you know you’re fully compatible with someone?” She shrugged. “Plenty of people go for it strictly for pleasure, without wanting any sort of commitment, too. But unless a person has some really strict moral objection, its sort of expected that grown adults will be sleeping together if they choose to. Some of us are lucky enough to fall in love and stay in that relationship, get married, have a life together. Others are happy to bounce around and live their lives and hop around from person to person. I know its not… what you’re used to, but the world has changed in more ways than I could ever think to explain. This is just one of them.” While her tone was gentle, the message was fairly clear. There were some things that he would either have to accept or ignore. This fact of modern life was no different, not in the current context or the objective view. Either way, it was enough to distract her, and calm her further.

[Alaric von der Marck]

Alaric might have told Leonie that he’d sired three sons and they’d all been born completely healthy with no defects, and in his day there’d been no strict rules on what to avoid. Anja had eaten what she wanted when she wanted – but the food she consumed had come straight from their farm, or from neighbouring farms. The milk had come straight from the cow, still warm from the udders. The cheese was made a stone’s throw away by the farmer himself. It made sense that certain things ought to be avoided in this day and age – Alaric often found himself staring at all the plastic packets and containers wondering how long the products had been sitting there. They were not fresh.

Leonie, however, now lived with Louvel. If there was anyone who would know how to source fresh, good food for his bride-to-be and unborn child, it was the Keeper.

At Leonie’s explanation of modern sex and relationships – or lack thereof, he could only frown. Especially when she asked how else people were supposed to know they were compatible. He shook his head. ”Anja and I did not have sex before we were married, and I have never loved a woman more. Compatibility will have to do with personality, ja? It should matter more that you can trust the other, that your morals and your philosophies align. Sex, I think, should not have anything to do with it,” he said. Although he and Anja had an awkward start to their sexual relations, they soon learned their way around each other’s bodies not because they practiced, but because they got to understand each other’s minds. Love should, he thought, come first.

”The time has changed, yes. You will think that it is progressive, but I think that it is a shame,” he said. Perhaps not for Leonie and Louvel. It had worked out well for the couple. But what about those they’d slept with before? Was it worth it? There was a time before he’d come to Harper Rock, before he had reunited with his sons, where he’d found women willing to sleep with him. He’d wanted to see if, in death, he still could. It was meaningless. It was to satisfy an urge. It left him feeling hollow, empty inside – it was only a reminder of what was missing.

Despite all this, however, he did not argue with Leonie. He smiled, and nodded. It may be how the world worked now, and though he would aim not to judge those who partook in such illustrious deeds, he would not partake in them himself.

[Leonie von der Marck]

The dark haired woman listened quietly, then remained silent for a long beat. She knew enough about how things used to be to understand what Alaric had experienced was normal. Then. She nodded. “Its not really that way anymore. Love doesn’t come first for almost everyone. I mean… I’ve always loved Louvel. Maybe not in the same way as I do now, but we grew up together and always had a strong bond and caring friendship. We’re…very lucky in that respect. We had a good foundation to build on already. We weren’t strangers… we know and have known one another for just about our entire lives.

“But… modern men… they mostly want a woman with experience. And the same can be said for a lot of women, too. It isn’t so much about personalities matching up in the beginning, but purely about attraction. Marriages aren’t arranged by parents anymore, unless a person’s culture dictates that… in fact, most parents stay far, far away from their children’s love lives. Its now just… a part of growing up, I suppose…” She was rambling again, but it was helping, more than she knew, to talk through something she normally might find uncomfortable to discuss. The flowing words were grounding, and helping her understand the truth of herself, the source and depths of her love for Lou, and allowing a quiet acceptance to seep in that everything would be okay, in the end.

She cleared her throat. “I don’t necessarily think its progress. I mean… with parents like mine, who barely know me, it would be a nightmare to let them take the lead. So in that case, no… I couldn’t trust them to make such a huge decision for me. And besides, it doesn’t always work out for the better. I know their match was at least partially arranged. Or at least put into play and influenced by their families… they had fun, they dated for a year or so… and then my mother got pregnant with Lucia. She was very young… and though she had as much or more old money than even the von der Marcks can claim, I think she was scared, and felt trapped. It might explain, at least a little bit, why she is the way she is.” Leonie shrugged, suddenly finding just the slightest amount of sympathy for an otherwise awful woman. It didn't make up for any of the neglect and lonely parts of her childhood spent missing a mother who didn't really want her, but she could almost see how and why Lena had been incapable of parenthood. “It can definitely be a shame, the way things are now. But in a world where people are expected to magically be adults by the age of eighteen, no matter their maturity levels, and often left to fend for themselves… well…” she left those last words hanging between them. She’d been left to fend for herself far earlier than eighteen, and the results had almost been expected. Virginity lost at fifteen, heart broken by seventeen... and the myriad men, and women, she had entertained in some bed or another ever since, never wanting to settle down or so much as think of the future where any other had been concerned. None had been worth more than the fulfillment of a passing desire, not even the more regular ones who had tried, and failed, to woo her into being the perfect, finite trophy wife. All until Louvel.

“Looking back at my own life, there isn’t much I would change, though. Its helped make me who I am now. And it let me see, learn, and experience the person I was always supposed to be. All of my choices have led me here, and even if it was a twisting path… I can’t say I regret anything. Maybe… maybe things happened a little sooner than planned… but I’m happy and I don’t think I could have gotten here any other way.”

[Alaric von der Marck]

There was still plenty that Leonie informed Alaric of that was so different, now. He did not understand at what age, in modernity, adulthood was expected. ”I was twenty-five, when I was married. Anja, she was just eighteen. Our first child was born when I was twenty-six, and she was nineteen. That was… normal,” he said, shaking his head. From what Leonie said – and judging by the ages of those in von der Marck who were spouseless and childless, the childbearing age had significantly changed. ”Three children we reared before she was thirty years of age. It was what was expected. We were adults far sooner than eighteen. I had not been with a woman before her, and she had not been with a man,” he said. And yet, he nodded.

”I understand your point,” he offered. Matches made my parents and family were not always good matches, but they were never made for hope of love and happiness. They were always made for political reasons, for reasons of state and of power, of trying to match their daughters with men who had money so as to secure their daughter’s safety and security. And sometimes it was the poorer men who sought the hands of women with rich families.

”But, if your parents were to decide – if it was still tradition – they would not care for your happiness. It was not questioned. Happiness came by chance,” he said. It was not the case with everyone, of course – only those with the means. It would have been better, he thought, to have been born poor and yet the master of one’s own fate, to an extent.

”It is part of why I chose to follow my family, to provide for them. To try to predict the future of trade. It is why this and other estates exist in the von der Marck name. To provide trusts, to provide money for all of those with the von der Marck name, so that they would be safe, and secure – marriage a choice, rather than a necessity if one wanted one’s future to be free of starvation and cold,” he said. ”I do not argue for the arrangement of marriages. I am happy that you and Louvel have each other.”

[Leonie von der Marck]

“Mmm,” she said with a nod as Alaric spoke on his life. All of that had been expected then, she knew, vaguely, from history and anthropology classes she’d taken. It was also apparent in the various family trees she’d rifled through over the years. “Back then it was necessary, I imagine. Life spans were shorter, different expectations were had of children. Or so we’re told. Now though… people at that age are still in school, off to university and finding themselves.” She shrugged. “You’re expected to be an adult, legally, but the guidance and tools in a lot of cases, are pretty lacking.” She sighed and sat back. She herself had been forced to grow up quite a lot faster than many people her age, due to simple neglect and more money than was good for a girl her age. “They definitely were for me.”

She smiled softly at his assessment of happiness and nodded again. “I’m glad you and Anja had it together, if it was that rare. But I’m also glad it isn’t really done anymore these days because a lot of emphasis is placed on that now. Being happy and fulfilled. Its hard to find. Probably as rare as it was for people when you were young, but for different reasons. People get divorced often, or cheat. It’s a sad state, with choice involved.” A hand was brushed over her forehead, pushing back an errant lock of hair before she curled up in her seat, her gaze moving to watch the flames dancing before them. Her hand had not moved from her middle: a curious thing all on its own, as Alaric’s deep and melodic voice washed over her again, drawing her attention back.

“I am glad we have each other too… But what you did for us… its so much more than that, I hope you know. And I hope you know how grateful we all are. Its so much more than the practical matters of security and money… and choosing our spouses. A lot of us may have drifted and it isn’t what it used to be, but the bonds in this family run deeper than I can even describe. It’s the one thing that keeps us all grounded, gives us something to go back to. There’s power in our blood. And it calls to one another. Because of you, Alaric.”

[Alaric von der Marck]

There wasn’t much more that Alaric could say. His traditions and his own sense of propriety were not things that he could easily dismiss, though nor could he ignore that times had changed. He could only peer at Leonie curiously, wondering about the youth of today. Perhaps it was easier for Alaric in his time because options were scarce. If there was not money for school, then one did not go to school. If one’s father was a farmer than one would become a farmer. The family trade was passed down, from one to the next. No one rebelled against the tradition.

It would have been less easy for the women, he assumed, who were not allowed their own trades, not truly. Some, of course, worked, but it was for a pittance. The only hope a woman had was to marry into money. Money. It was what the world was built on. Which was why Alaric had worked hard to set his family up, so that they were not mere farmers anymore, not only landlords but traders and businessmen. Money would never become an issue. As he was beginning to realise now, however, money didn’t cure all ills. It did not make everything perfect.

”Happiness is a rare thing when trying to adhere to the wants of others,” he mused. One could never be happy if one only did what others expected of them. Though, Alaric was about as unaware of his own happiness now as he was of how the sun felt upon his skin. It was not that he was unhappy. He was neither; his purpose had become his family, his estate, a patriarch by name and by job description. But he had been gone for so long he wondered whether the title was even a requirement anymore. And if it was not… then what was his purpose? If what Leonie said was true, he had achieved what he had set out to achieve.

”Do you believe that the family requires help? It is… Gregor spoke to me, before he passed on. He said that I must fix the family, as if it is broken. Do you believe that it is broken, that it needs… fixing?” he asked.

[Leonie von der Marck]

“I suppose,” she conceded, “but maybe it’s a ‘grass is greener’ situation. Expectations kind of remove the need for ‘what ifs’ or rebellion, when its traditional.” She sighed softly. “And despite my very best efforts, I’m currently living Oskar and Falken’s expectations for me, so I guess it all works out in the end.” She shrugged slightly with a laugh, one of the few true ones of the night. Talking with him had allowed the earlier revelations to settle somewhere in the back of her mind, to ease into the idea that she was carrying a nine-month long companion with her wherever she went.

Her fingers stretched over her middle again, an unreadable look on her face as she thought a bit more on what Alaric had to say. But what came next had her sitting up straight, eyes ever so slightly wider.

“He did? I thought I heard something that night… but so much was happening, I couldn’t be sure…” she hefted a sigh. It had been over a year, but the sting still remained. Losing anyone was hard, but for a von der Marck, it hurt almost as badly as losing a limb. Maybe worse, in some ways. “He’s right,” she agreed. “So much is different than it used to be, even from when I was a child to now. Though despite that, the core value of being von der Marck remains in many of us. I think I told you, that first week you were home… when my ancestor died, he took so much along with him. The family… it stayed intact for a long time, but the endeavors to bring you back suffered greatly. It turned more into a traditional gathering than a ritual each year, and soon the focus turned to more selfish matters, like money and land and business. Greed took the place of togetherness, people stopped making the effort. At least, so says the family records, and the stories my father and grandfather have told me.” She stopped for a moment, thinking. “Everyone drifted. By my father’s generation, almost no one knew one another anymore. I think they felt badly, which is why they started sending all of us as kids to be together every year at the Estate. It worked,” she said with a smile. “We succeeded in bringing you back to us. But yet… Gregor was right. Its broken in many ways. Scattered and not at all the cohesive unit it used to be. We don’t just need help… we need you. And I think… by playing upon that intrinsic sense of loyalty and family, you can mend it.”

Leonie hoped she had not said too much or placed too much upon his shoulders with those simple, truthful words. It was no more than she had said before, but somehow, given the words already spoken, it seemed a heavy thing. But Leonie respected the Elder far too much to speak with anything less than honesty where he was concerned.